Life has overtaken nude time at the beach the last several years. Plenty of nude spa time together, but we've been dealing with one kid's very serious problems with depression, so our time and energy has been soaked up dealing with them. They also came with us on our weekend walks, and the "chaperonage" pretty much kept us from the beach. Things are finally getting better, however.

They just moved out and took a job in another city, leaving us with an empty nest for the first time. Also, my wife has finally retired. The upshot is we are now getting back to walking nude at the beach. A wonderful positive has been that with the decrease in stress, Mrs. Dipper has been much more enthusiastic about our outings. She told me that she feels like she now has room to enjoy joining me nude at the beach. We are even thinking about spending some nude time relaxing at the beach instead of just doing our walk and leaving.

I'm hoping to find a club or group to sit near so that we have the chance to talk a little with other couples, and so we can avoid dealing with pervs. I think it would be good for both of us, and maybe introduce Mrs. Dipper to how other people enjoy nude recreation.

I'm having a little problem finding such a group at the moment, however. The old Black's Beach Bares seems to have gone defunct. There's a new group on Facebook, but they have failed to approve my membership request after almost a week, so I've made no actual contact. I think that most of the "real" nudists congregate by the volleyball nets, and if that's the best I can do, I'll just try parking our blanket there.

This has always been a good place to talk and seek support, so I thought I would return to the fold. I look forward to participating here, again.

If you're looking into social nudity, I would recommend a nudist resort. It's typically easier to connect with people there; as there are often scheduled activities that are social in nature.

It appears your wife is comfortable with nudity. That should make things easier.

I'm sure you're right, but a couple of hours kicking back at the beach after we walk is what she's agreed to do, so I'm trying to make it the best time that I can. I'll settle for having a relaxing time, and avoiding sunburn.

The obvious next step would be a vacation destination where we could spend a day at nude resort. Unfortunately, almost all ones around here are a bit rustic for us. Palm Springs is a definite possibility, for a day or weekend trip, but I'd have to work up to it.

Quite an amazing weekend! I had three days off and we went to the beach all three days. It happened spontaneously, I didn't have to push, or even ask. Mrs Dipper just assumed that's what we'd do, and she actually enjoyed doing it, instead of just going along only because I wanted to. I would have happily agreed to other activities in exchange for going just once. Part of it is that she really likes to see me enthusiatic about exercise, but again, I would have gone walking those days anyway. It definitely helps that we're getting used to the climb back up. It used to really bother her, but the last day, she powered right up, only pausing twice, I think.

I asked her again about her feelings about being nude. She says, she's fine with it, although she doesn't really experience the freedom and joy I describe, when I get to be nude in a natural environment like that. She claims she would enjoy it about the same if she were dressed. She does appreciate that when we finish, we get to put on clothes that are still fresh rather than face the day in clothes that we sweated into for a couple of hours.

I've also noticed that she used to act as if the other nude people simply didn't exist. Now she notices other people, like she would when we're in other places. It's subtle, but I consider it a positive sign that she's relaxing and treating the situation as normal.

I've ordered a nice sunshade, and we're on track to bring it and lunch along next weekend and spend an hour or two relaxing and picnicing after our walk. I think I've got the right area scoped out where a number of regulars seem to congregate, so we'll at least be surrounded by other couples.

Sep 27 '21

The weather was cooler and overcast, so we ditched the idea of taking any blanket time at the beach this weekend. We still went and walked in the nude both Sat & Sun, though. It was a little on the cool side, but still reasonably comfortable. On Sat, I think we witnessed some local Wiccans perform some sort of ceremony. A group of about 8 or so women were sitting together in a circle at the back of the beach when we passed the first time, most of them dressed. As we were coming back, we saw all of them "dancing" nude at the water's edge, dropping flowers as they went, all to the beat of a small drum. Later we saw them sitting in the circle again, occasionally beating the drum. Cool.

I noted a couple of pairs of nude couples, and told my wife that they looked like they were having a good time. This triggered my wife telling me, later in our walk, that she definitely did not want to interact with other people in the nude. She thought it was simply too weird. I told her that I didn't see it that way, and explained that I had read many accounts on the internet of the friendliness of most nudists, and how people often found great friends that way. However, I assured her that I understood her feelings, and wouldn't do anything she wasn't comfortable with.

Sunday was even darker and cooler, and I offered to go on one of our "other" walks. However, after considering a couple of choices she decided we would go to the beach anyway, the other choices not being convenient with errands we planned to do later. I half expected her to keep her clothes on, but she didn't.

The tide was in, so there was less hard sand to walk on. That and the cool temps caused us to walk on the softer sand, which warmed our feet and got us a lot more exersize. This brought us closer to people who were just kicking back on their blankets. We were on our second lap, and were passing a couple close to our age, where the woman, who was nude, had just pulled on a shirt. Since we were passing within feet of their blanket, she said hello, and asked how we were doing.

We stopped, and I said pretty good even though the sun hadn't made it out. The woman said she had only made it to chapter two of her book before she got too cold and had to put some clothes on. Mrs Dipper said she had thought about doing the same a couple of times. I replied that since we were walking, we were probably a little warmer.

I would have introduced ourselves and tried to have a slightly longer conversation, but I was mindful of Mrs Dipper's feelings about socializing nude, so left well enough alone. After we left them, I said that they seemed very friendly. Mrs Dipper said that she guessed that was what I had been reading about. I'm still going to suggest we pack a lunch, set up a beach shade, and spend a little while kicking back after one of our walks week. We'll see if it works out.

This morning as I was getting ready to leave for work, she gave me kiss and asked me if I had had a great weekend. I said that I had indeed, and asked her if she had as well, and she said yes.

All in all, the end of a excellent September. We walked nude together on the beach basically every day that I had off, and Mrs Dipper had a good time while doing it. Plus lots of nude spa time I didn't bother to mention. I feel like we're turning a new corner on our relationship, not that it wasn't good before. I credit a lot of it to extra time spent really talking, and some of the action that has triggered...mostly fixing up stuff around our house in anticipation of my joining her in retirement in the next year or two.

One thing about short outdoor vacations is that all your hopes are pinned on having good weather in that narrow window of time.

When it comes to south Florida, I have enjoyed pleasant or even hot nude beach weather in November and December, it's not a guarantee, but certainly possible.

Having a backup plan or a longer number of days to wait the bad weather out can improve your sense of it being time well spent.

Still, DipperDave, you and your wife are learning through conversations and real world experiences and that alone is worth its weight in gold.

Thanks for the update!

With her specific request not to socialize in the nude, I have basically two ideas for travel to destinations with nude recreation. One would be nude beaches, which we already do. I think we would enjoy going to a beach where we would be inclined to spend the day relaxing. We might also encounter other travelers with which conversation could come up spontaneously in a way she might give a chance.

The other, which I really want to do, is travel to Germany and visit German spas where coed nudity is expected or required. I've been to one during business travel several years back and enjoyed it a lot (not to mention the sauna and steam rooms in my hotel which were nude and coed). She has also visited and enjoyed German spas before we met, although she always chose a non-coed day since she didn't have a male companion at the time. She's as enthusiastic about this as I am, so once COVID stops making travel so complicated, we will likely plan such a trip.

I think others may have brought this up, but on public beaches, most people find that they (thinking particularly of women) are not subject to rude remarks, indecent proposals IF they sit in fairly close proximity to a "Friends of ______Beach" sort of naturist club.

If she can bring herself to sit near other nude people, from what I have seen, your wife will not be forced into awkward conversation, your fellow nude beachgoers are frequently there for the tranquility of wind in the palms, the soothing music of the waves hitting sand. They will see from her demeanor that your wife wants a quiet visit.

On the other hand, if you choose to isolate yourselves from other nude sunbathers, you open yourselves to the worst of the public, particularly if you (the guy) step away to get something from the car. Beach gawkers don't wait long to impose themselves on solitary women.

A European spa sounds wonderful and it does eliminate concerns about the weather.

Korean style spas can be found in many American cities and may give her some practice with same-sex nudity that might ultimately improve her comfort with coed nudity when you two visit Europe in the next year or two.

Just a thought!

Sitting near the regulars is exactly what I had in mind. At our local beach, we've walked there enough that I pretty much know where they congregate, having seen the same individuals in mixed groups several times. At a vacation destination, I'd do the research to try and accomplish the same. In a place like St. Martin or at European nude beaches, I'd worry a good bit less about rude folks, but would still avoid getting off by ourselves.

The Korean spa idea is a good one, but my wife is a 4 star kind of gal, and the ones around here are more the strip mall variety. I honestly don't anticipate any issues with coed nudity at a German spa. She is already happy to participate, and I know from experience that they are spotlessly clean, and the other patrons well-behaved.

This last weekend proved hot at the beach, not just for the time of year, but in general. We managed three days at the beach again. I've told her that we don't always have to go there, but she keeps choosing it...no complaints here. Not going to do a detailed post, but there were a couple of worthwhile things that occurred. One day we finally brought food and our new sunshade so we could hang at the beach for a little while. We were late getting there because we had to wait for someone at the house. I carried eveything down to the beach and we walked straight to where I wanted to set up, near a number of beach regulars already nude and enjoying the day, instead of getting undressed immediately. I made the mistake of not setting up the beach shade at home at least once, and found that it was not intuitive at all. I had struggled with it for about 5 or so minutes when a (nude) guy sitting nearby came over to help.

I was happy to have the help at that point and it took us a few minutes to figure out how the poles went to hold the thing up. I thanked him, then we got undressed and set up our base. He was talking to another couple right in front of us, so I went over to shake his hand and exchange names. Mrs Dipper was sitting at our shade and waved and said hi as I introduced her to Terry. He was such a genuinely nice guy, that Mrs Dipper was not bothered by the short exchange and just commented to me how nice he was. We got everything settled, then took off for our walk. After one lap up and down the beach, we found the sun was just too strong for our taste, so retired to our base to eat lunch and kick back in the shade.

This is when I became aware of just how comfortable Mrs Dipper has become with being nude at the beach. She just completely let go and allowed herself to relax, something that doesn't always come easy for her. We spent a couple of hours that way until it got late enough for the sun to be not quite so strong, then finished our walk. We came back, packed up our stuff, and got dressed. Terry was still sitting nearby, so we went over and thanked him again, and swapped chit chat for a minute before heading out. He left us with his sort of motto, "Get naked and chill out!"

The other interesting thing was the following day as we were doing our more normal nude walk early in the morning. Our conversation had come back to being nude and I expressed my gratitude for her understanding and willingness to try it in the first place. After a while, she said to me, "This is your most favorite thing to do, isn't it?" I admitted that it probably was. The conversation moved on to whether we would ever relocate in our retirement, and she noted that it would be hard for me to not live near this beach, or to not have our private backyard to hot tub in, and I agreed that I really wouldn't want to give those things up.

I feel that we've now reached a point where she really understands what being nude means to me. I know it still isn't HER favorite thing to do in the world, but it is no longer something that pushes her comfort zone. What a marvelous journey the last few weeks have been.

Good deal!

As I've often said, the key to confidence with nudity is repetition. And it definitely looks like you're on the right path.

As far as socialization, I think that has to happen organically. At the beach or resort, when you keep running into the same people, a simple "Hi!" can eventually turn into a conversation; and in some cases even into a full-fledged friendship - if you end up "clicking" with the other person(s).
Some venues facilitate socialization a little bit more; such as smaller resorts, spas, non-landed clubs, nudist B&B's, etc... You have the right idea to try one. I know my wife didn't really envision spending a lot of time interacting naked with other people; but the nudist B&B provided the right environment for her to try it. She found that she actually had no problem hanging out naked with strangers; much to her own admitted surprise.

Anyway, just a thought! Keep it up!

I never gave a lot of thought to the simple idea of repetition, but it makes tons of sense. I'm sure the sheer number of times we've been nude at the beach recently has something to do with the obvious increased comfort. I'm not ready to suggest a day trip to a resort, but I think we can spend some more time chilling at the beach, and if we see Terry or the woman who greeted us before again, I'll be sure to say hi or at least wave. If we keep seeing the same folks, I expect that we'll have more positive interactions.

At some point soon, nude time at the beach is going to be curtailed for the winter, although there may be individual days where we can strip off. I'll have to be ready to get it started again in earnest next spring.

It was a very nice weekend for the beach after nearly 2 months of non-optimal weather. Air temp was about 65, with a minimal breeze and clear skies so it was plenty warm. Nothing special, just our normal 2.5 hour walk on the sand enjoying nature the way it ought to be. Next weekend is forecasted to be in the high 70's so it should be even better. Sadly, the spa is still too cold to use (technically, we COULD use it, but it would take over an hour to get up to temp this time of year and I'm not willing to spend the money to do that.)

My wife has been complaining that she was getting too much sun. I thought we were OK with how careful we are with sunscreen but she didn't. We were going to the beach 2-3 times a week when the weather was good, so I suggested that we limit our visits to once a week, in general. It should help with the sun, and I honestly think that we could burn out on it over the course of a whole summer if we don't cultivate more variety in our activities.

Hi, Group:
Interestingly, this Message Board has a couple of threads going here: "Quitting nudity" and "Getting Back to the Beach."

Without a private back yard, nude time requires that a couple (or single) mingle with others in a social setting. Linda and I have time and place to indulge, and to invite others to join. There is a reluctance to begin the process and to encourage others, though, once a couple is already amenable to social nudity, adding to the circle of acquaintances is easier.

There isn't a beach which would allow nudity here in Missouri except on private property, and as far as nudity in someone's own back yard, inviting others to join smacks of assertiveness outside of their comfort zone.

We can't expect a newbie (or a neverbie) to go from zero to one hundred in a short time. Conversion requires careful instruction, demonstration and assurance that it will be okay to ease into a lifestyle contrary to normality. To that end, simply introducing the subject of social -- carefully emphasizing that this isn't public -- but social nudity is not upsetting.

Linda and I don't expect any of our neighbors to engage in any activity that they would not want to do, but both she and I do expect them to be aware of what goes on behind our privacy fence, and that it's all okay.

We don't want to quit. That's too easy. We want to get on to the Beach.

Dave,

The beach is what you make of it. Sitting on a towel for 5 hours sounds pretty dull, but if you could work in some other activities, it might liven things up.
Most of this could be done wearing clothing, but its hard to beat the comfort of bare skin on a warm day. Anyway, here's a short list to get things started (although you may need to recruit others to join in:
Horseshoes
Badminton
Volleyball
Petanque
Croquet
Board games
Card games
Put on some music and dance
Building sand castles, sand sculpture
Surf casting/crabbing

It's still too cold for outdoor nudity here, but a sauna would feel great this time of year and you could invite friends if it isn't too tiny.

Variety is key for any activity. Having a range of things that interest you equally means you have a few other options available if time/weather/circumstance/boredom prevent one option.

A documentary I once watched had an interview with an older guy out nude on his sailboat. He accused the younger generation of nudists as being "young fogeys", as all they wanted to do was sit around at resorts or clubs rather than getting out and enjoying activities.

Hey, if you like walking on the beach, taking a jacuzzi, doing crosswords, bouncing on pogo sticks, gardening, Zorbing and painting, chances are you'll find the opportunity to do one, all or any of those nude as circumstances permit :laughing:

Surely, the beach or anywhere is what you make of it. For us, I think once a week, in general, is a good balance, that's all.

Life issues caused two of our kids to move back in, and it put a cramp in our beach walks for a while. They know we visit the nude beach when we go on our own, and they know we've gone nude there in the past, but we haven't bothered to discuss our activities in detail. To be honest, there have been much more important subjects for discussion.

We've been getting back to it, though. This last weekend was nice. We got out early, and the marine layer stayed pretty thick all morning, but the temperature was fine.

DipperDave, what do you mean by "the marine layer"? I'm a midwest guy here who doesn't know much about marine anything. Thanks.

The marine layer is a thick overcast that forms over the ocean at the coast. In the early morning and evening it comes inland. The warmth of the day usually pushes it offshore, but not always or sometimes not for long.

Dave,

At present, the beaches of the southeastern US states are where I go for salt water recreation. It is astonishing how different the experience is between Pacific and Atlantic or the Gulf of Mexico.

Here in summer, morning humidity can make for hazy skies and beautiful sunrises, but no actual marine layer in the hot months. It is a delight to walk the beaches right before sunrise. Temperature can be 80 and with the land breeze, you might feel slightly cool if you are in shorts or wearing nothing. In the afternoon, you can almost set your watch by the afternoon storms. With all the lightning, it is not safe to remain on the beach until the storms have passed, typically after 3:00 pm. Besides, with temperatures hitting 90 on up to 100, it calls for a change of pace; so you can go back to your campground, cabin or motel and have lunch, read a book or visit with family. With the storms gone, ideal beach weather resumes and you can enjoy the beach until dark. Until well after dark, the strong flow of air from the sea is very refreshing. I don't swim in the sea after dark because the big fish come close to shore and I don't want to be nipped by them. But there's nothing finer than watching the moon rise over the Atlantic and turning the sea a silvery color.

There are days when a marine layer develops, but it tends to be in the winter or spring when the sea is still cooler than the land. It isn't a daily event like it is on the west coast.

When summer disappears here, you can head south until you find it again. I enjoy swimming near West Palm Beach in mid-November. Near Miami, it is easy to find good beach weather until January.

Although the conditions are very different across the continent, the handful of beaches in the US where nudity is tolerated have a common experience of freedom and connection with nature. Some beaches are more lively, some offer a more mellow, tranquil setting.
Since the dawn of time, people have flocked to the zone where land and sea meet. To complete the magic of the experience, walking the shore in our natural state connects us with ancient ancestors and with nature itself. Some of us find the beach a place to connect with God. I do believe it is easier to hear his voice when we are there.

DipperDave, thanks for the explanation.

Beautiful day at the beach. Got out early to beat the heat. Lots of people out enjoying the sun. It seems to me that this summer there are a lot more younger folks going nude than I've seen in the past. Not sure why that might be, or if it's just because I've spent more time there this summer than before.

Got out both of the last two weekends. One morning my daughter (28) said she wanted to come with us. I said it was no problem, but she should know that we take these walks in the nude. She asked if we could keep our clothes on this time, and I responded that it was part of the point of going there. She almost talked herself into going anyway, but then decided not to.

It was probably just as well as I'm pretty sure Mrs. Dipper would have kept her clothes on if she had come, which would have left me in a slightly awkward spot. It's not modesty, as she has seen us in the hot tub nude many, many times, just the different environment, I suppose.

When we finished our walk this last weekend and stopped to get dressed, there were a twenty-something couple on towels sitting a little ways away from us. The man was nude and had been swimming and the woman was just sitting in exercise clothes. I was busy getting our clothes out, and when I turned around again, she had taken her shirt off and her partner seemed to be encouraging her to finish undressing, but she was looking around nervously and hesitating.

We quickly finished and headed away. After a bit I glanced back and saw that our departure was apparently the extra privacy she needed to get nude. Part way up the cliff, we rested and I saw them come out of the water, get dressed and head back towards the nearby clothed part of the beach. I guess they just decided to give nude swimming a quick try.

Dipper Dave,

I liked how you gently but firmly stated that you would be going nude that morning. It seems all too often others expect us to simply set aside our preference for nudity just because they don't like it. That is selfish, disrespectful and unreasonable. Good for you on holding to your plans.

Thank you for these beach reports.

N

DipperDave, nice reports of your wife's increasing comfort with long nude beach walks. Black Beach's is beautiful, cool ocean breezes give welcome relief on hot California days, and unlike many beaches, the nude section stretches so far people can enjoy a really long walk, and if they get too hot, can walk knee-deep into the ocean, or swim before returning to walking.

You wrote this:

Nothing special? You and Mrs. Dipper are being too modest! (Joke intended.) If she felt comfortable socializing, she'd learn many women struggle terribly before leaving their beach blanket even for ten minutes, not two hours. You need to take the credit you deserve! For female students to get the courage to leave her beach blanket, where she could cover up or roll over if someone made her uncomfortable, sometimes took a semester. It's often baby steps, like a quick nude dash from the blanket to the water, and "walking" (more like half-floating, half swimming) in water above her waistline, until the newbie finally realizes with waves coming in and out, she's being seen below the waist anyway by guys on the beach, so she might as well "grin and bare it" by walking with water only up to her knees, and eventually ankles, and finally getting the courage to walk nude completely out of the water along the shoreline. Holding a boyfriend's hand is a really important confidence builder for walking nude.

Am I right your wife is either Filipina or Vietnamese? Black's has a better ethnic mix than many nude places. UCSD now has so many Asian students that some start dating American guys who invite them to the beach, and there's Camp Pendleton nearby too.

Sadly, friends tell me more and more women keep their swimsuits on, even their tops, though most men are still nude and social pressure still seems to "encourage" men to drop their shorts so people won't think they're gawkers. With more and more women at Black's opting for only topless, or wearing both parts of the bikini, or even one-piece swimsuits, your wife deserves extra compliments. Not many years ago most people on Black's, especially UCSD students, got fully nude. If people wore swimsuits, usually they just arrived and were looking for a place to set up, or were nervous newbies, or (unfortunately) gawkers. Repeat visitors soon learned full nudity was expected for men, and at least topless for women, People tell me fear of cell phone cameras ruined things for many college women. For many younger women, now only the very confident undress. Others may eventually try it during less busy beach times, maybe a weekday when they don't have classes.

Friends tell me most still understand if they're going to swim at Black's, they should be nude. Is that what you see? A nervous newbie woman often can still be talked into walking into the ocean with her swimsuit on, taking it off underwater, and learning how sensually wonderful it feels to swim with nothing between her body and the water.

From years of introducing women to nude beaches, private pools, resorts, and swim clubs, if I can get an overly nervous woman to swim nude, more often than not, her swimsuit stays off once she's out of the water. Then she learns how wonderful it feels to have warm sun and warm breezes dry her skin.

With nude ocean swimming, waves make modesty almost impossible. If a woman takes her bikini off underwater and ties it to her arms to swim, unless she has fantastic balance, she needs her feet touching the sand underneath her to get her swimsuit back on. As the waves alternately conceal and expose her body, friends on the shore see at least her breasts and likely more. Once she realizes her male friends have seen most of her nude body, often she'll give up trying to get her swimsuit back on.

Too often, we act like nudity is something modest women need to endure to please their boyfriends. That's just wrong. Nude swimming is so sensual, and so exciting, that even the most modest women can be overwhelmed by the pleasure of water gliding over their nude bodies. My experience tells me women with the least dating history, who are the least familiar with having their bodies caressed by a boyfriend, often have the strongest feelings of pleasure with their nude bodies being caressed by warm water, warm breezes, and warm sunshine.

That means for a young dating couple with little or no experience of intimacy, swimming nude together can be explosively exciting, even more for the girlfriend than her boyfriend, because of how women's bodies are designed to respond to physical sensations. I've seen repeatedly with young college students, including me, that social nudity, especially if it includes nude swimming shortly after arriving, is a great way to cement a dating relationship.

BB, you wrote:

"From years of introducing women to nude beaches, private pools, resorts, and swim clubs, if I can get an overly nervous woman to swim nude, more often than not, her swimsuit stays off once she's out of the water. Then she learns how wonderful it feels to have warm sun and warm breezes dry her skin".

A friend has been willing to try nudity at Cypress Cove with me but was resolute about not taking off her swimsuit because of the risks of infection and water getting where it had no business going. Have you come across this issue? How did you resolve it?

BeachBunny, I appreciate the encouragement. My remark about "nothing special" wasn't a disparagement at our progress, but just a reference that the visit had the usual pattern of walking without anything out of our usual routine happening.

It seems to me that there are plenty of women participating nude. It's not uncommon to see small groups of women (2-4) where one of them is nude and the others are topless or in suits. This typically happens right around the bottom of the main path down. Proceeding north towards the volleyball nets the nude participation is more general. One phenonmenon I've seen recently is couples where the woman is nude or topless and the man is in trunks. Mind you, this is nowhere near as common as the opposite, but I've seen it a handful of times.

I prefer not to second guess WHY people do or do not go nude. Everyone should feel free to do what makes them most comfortable. Gawkers aside, I feel that people who get comfortable being around nude people are that much closer to perhaps trying it themselves. If there were signs that the beach were being "overrun" by non-nudists, I might be concerned, but that definitely isn't the case.

This does remind me of running into a family (mom, dad, son, daughter) coming down as we were going up. They were talking to some other people, and had seemingly just realized that there were nude people down on the beach. The mother was in the middle of being reassured that they could turn left when they got to the beach and go past the cones if they didn't want to be in the nude part of the beach. I didn't hear the conversation that led up to that point.

A couple of weeks ago, we were stopped on the beach by a couple from Canada who had just arrived. The gentleman wanted to know exactly where the boundaries of the nude section were. I explained them to him, mentioning that if he went south past the cones, everyone would be clothed. He said, "Hell no!" We went on with our walk and passed them a couple of times later walking the length of the beach, in the nude of course, just as we were.

That's a new one for me, CalgaryMark!

I guess if a woman said that to me, after I got done asking if she was serious, I'd probably say, "Do you really think that thin fabric swimsuit stops 'water getting where it had no business going'?"

I suppose MAYBE if the water at Cypress Cove is cloudy and muddy and full of bad stuff, then the swimsuit might filter some of that out. But I wouldn't swim in water like that, nude or in a swimsuit.

No more water "gets in places" when swimming nude than when swimming in a swimsuit. Germs and bacteria in water are small and pass through a swimsuit. You'd need a specially designed wetsuit to keep water away from the skin, not just a bikini bottom. If anything, salt ocean water helps clean things out "down there" by getting inside a woman's body. But the effect is negligible.

**UPDATE:** I was going to send this Monday but glad I waited and emailed a bunch of women who enjoy social nudism to see if anyone else had ever heard of a woman afraid of "taking off her swimsuit because of the risks of infection and water getting where it had no business going." I got valuable feedback from friends who suggested CalgaryMark's friend might be remembering something her mom said when she was young. Lots of non-nudist parents know it's often hard to keep clothes on young kids. Many love running through sprinklers, splashing in the pool, or running around the house after bath time with no clothes. Maybe CalgaryMark's friend was like that as a child, so her mom made up something to keep her from taking her swimsuit off in the pool.

So CalgaryMark, after talking to friends, here's what I'd say to your friend.

Is she being asked to swim at Cypress Cove in river water, a natural pond, or a chlorinated or salt water swimming pool? A properly maintained pool — and a high-end resort will do maintenance right — should be clean with no risk of infection. I'm an outdoorsy type of swimmer, and I love oceans and lakes and clean rivers and springs, but I've been invited to swimming holes and slow-moving rivers where I'm not going to get in the water with or without a swimsuit. If she's worried about an infection because of poor water conditions, offer her a clean water choice.

But CalgaryMark, maybe your friend isn't being up-front with you when she says she "has been willing to try nudity at Cypress Cove" with you. If offering a clean water choice doesn't work, try suggesting she go topless to Cypress Cove and keep her bottoms on. I don't know that resort's policies, but few resorts tell first-time female visitors they have to go fully nude inside the resort gates, especially if they are willing to take off their top. If you're a regular there, you might even be able to get them to make an exception and allow her to keep her bottoms on in the pool area. Nearly all resorts make exceptions for women visiting "at the wrong time of the month." and if the resort knows you, they might let her keep her bottoms on, at least during her first visit, even if it's not during that time of the month.

If she won't go to the resort topless, and won't swim topless while keeping her bikini bottom on, then keeping her bottom on to prevent infection from the pool is just an excuse for not going at all.

Try it and tell us how it works out!

Thanks, DipperDave, for the update on Blacks. Glad I encouraged you, and perhaps also your wife. Sounds like things are returning to how they used to be before some bad incidents with phone cameras scared off many female UCSD students and students at other area schools.

We saw groups of women, often roommates, go to the beach, sometimes as a dare. Safety is a very real concern for women, so women going solo without either boyfriends or female friends are less common than solo guys. But if several women say, "Let's try it," often one is more adventurous and undresses right away, or at least takes off her top. Once others see how fun it is, they join her. Maybe not at first, but often on the second or third visit, overly modest women give in to peer pressure from friends.



Yes... I saw this more than a handful of times. We shouldn't assume for every couple, it's the woman who is overly modest and struggles with nudity. Here's why.

What happens when a college student talks his reluctant girlfriend into going nude with him? My experience is if their relationship survives the initial rockiness of the girlfriend making what is, let's not deny it, a very scary decision to take off her clothes in public, very often shared social nudity cements their relationship. When both are new to nudity, and especially if neither have much prior intimate experience with other people or even with each other, the shared experience of undressing together in public, and learning to enjoy warm sun, warm breezes, and warm water on their bodies, builds a special bond between a couple and their friends who have shared something together that is very difficult and very exciting and very enjoyable. I don't think I'm wrong that when a guy talks his girlfriend into going to a nude beach with him, either they'll break up within a few days or weeks, or they'll be together for much longer than typical college couples who break up all the time.

But what happens if a seriously dating nudist couple breaks up a year or two later? When the man starts dating again, he'll try, usually unsuccessfully at first, to talk new girlfriends into joining him on the nude beach. He'll go through a series of dates until he finds a woman willing to try social nudity.

It's different for a nudist woman who breaks up and re-enters the dating scene. Just how many men turn a girlfriend down who invites him to a nude beach? Of course a boyfriend will be nervous if he's never been nude in public before. That's expected. In our group of college students, we always insisted that a first-time guy not only undress upon arrival on the nude beach, but that he be the first guy to undress before any of his female friends so we didn't have to deal with a men coming to the beach, seeing his female friends nude, and then refusing to get nude himself. But occasionally we saw dating couples who came to the beach together, and the girlfriend undressed and put her clothes into her beach bag immediately upon arrival, but the boyfriend kept his swimsuit on, at least for a while until they found a place to put down their beach blanket. Usually when we saw that, the girlfriend was an experienced female nudist dating a man she brought to the beach for his first visit, or he'd only come a few times and was still getting used to dating an experienced nudist girlfriend.



Same for me. I want to think the best of people and there's usually no way to tell if a couple walking along the beach in swimsuits, or even sweatshirts and sweatpants, are only there to look at naked people, or are a nervous first-time couple looking for an out-of-the-way place to set up and undress.

Most single guys who arrive alone undress immediately to avoid being treated as gawkers. When they don't, and I see single guys keeping clothes on, I'm more worried about them being gawkers since I've seen women driven away from beaches by gawkers. But yes, some guys are new to the beach and don't know unwritten rules, and others are nervous newbies who want to undress where nobody can see them.

You mentioned meeting a family visiting the beach, and also your own reluctant daughter. At 28, she's more than mature enough to try social nudity so I may write a post hoping I can encourage her. Also, Black's Beach is more ethnically diverse than most beaches and it's a good place for a woman who might be nervous about standing out due to her appearance.

BeachBunny:
My apologies for not getting back to you sooner. I've been giving the subject more thought and couldn't make time to write this. (Yeah, excuses...)

My friend was willing to be nude with me at CC and enjoyed a massage (you need to go there and enjoy one!) So nudity, per se, was not the problem. The issue was the swimsuit, even in the beautifully clean, salt-water outdoor pool; I think the real reason may have been concern about an ugly (unplanned, but needed) Caesarean section scar many years before. It may have been done well at the time of birth, but healing caused the scar to become wavy, irregular and prominent as her belly returned to 'normal'. So I believe the 'reason' may not have been possible infection but also her perception of an ugly scar. The concern was indeed about infection, but we all know that was misplaced; she doesn't yet believe it.

Thanks, CalgaryMark. No apologies needed! The board's gone quiet (makes sense since summer is ending) so for a while I was checking to see if you or DipperDave wrote back, but stopped checking after I didn't hear from either of you for a while.

In-person nudism took priority over this message board for the last few weeks. We had some really great weather, not just unseasonably warm but hot, which made nudism a natural choice for swimming and suntanning.

Yes, CalgaryMark, I appreciate your recommendation for massages at a nude resort. We've had nude massages at some high-end nudist resorts on vacation. Totally professional and no different from a massage at a textile facility, except no need for draping and towels. Also something we wouldn't have tried on our own — one overseas resort we visited on vacation offered classes for couples in sensual massage. (Yes, it was a legit nudist place.) We've been married since shortly after college graduation, but learning some techniques as a couple was REALLY enjoyable. We'd recommend that for any married couple, and in fact we recommended that one couple who we knew would struggle with false modesty after marriage go to that resort on their honeymoon. They declined, but we wish they'd gone.

I've written more on several people who came to the lakefront cottage on a "now or never" thing, knowing they might not get another chance before late spring. All are friends of friends, mostly freshmen students at the university brought by some of our cottage regulars who are students, and we didn't know any of them before their visit, but all enjoyed it and all came back at least once, usually several times.

Not sure whether to post. First-time stories often sound alike. Will decide later after the visitors see what I wrote and get a chance to edit it.

Beachbunny,

I haven't posted because weather and illness have conspired to keep me from the beach over the last month. With temps plunging by 20 degrees into the 60s this weekend, I suspect we won't be making then, either. As far as my daughter is concerned, she was never considering going nude and I was never suggesting it. The only thing on the table was whether she still wanted to join us despite our going nude.

I can't say I've noticed any unwritten rules on swimming, one way or the other. Most swimmers are nude, but then most people on the beach are nude.

As far as clothed walkers, Black's is unique in that it's uncrowded and very long. The nude part is about 1.5mi and if you include the clothed parts at each end it's easily double (or more) that distance, making a round trip a very decent hike for getting some serious exercise while enjoying nature. It's one of the main reasons we go. Doing two laps of the nude section is a good workout. I really don't really think any of the hikers are there to gawk.

It's been a slow summer for us. We've had some family issues overtake us, and only got to the beach a handful of times. However, we got down there yesterday, and the weather was perfect. Was low to mid 70s and sunny when we got down to the sand, with almost no wind. The water was crystal clear and still warm enough to enjoy walking in the shallows.

One thing that keeps us coming back is how much walking nude at the beach encourages intimacy between us. Not sexual intimacy, but being able to freely and casually share our feelings and worries, without having the outside world interrupt.

Sure, this can happen if we're together clothed as well, but it never seems to come as easily in those situations. It's like we take off emotional barriers along with our clothes. I suspect that many of you have had similar experiences with your naturism.

Dave,

Thank you for sharing those beach moments. I understand the connection between the honesty of nudity and the openness it fosters, you are on to something!

In your context it is openness as a couple, but I like what nudity does among friends as well.

Your story reminded me of an old song by Dan Hill. Here's part of the chorus:
And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you 'til I die
'Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you 'til the fear in me subsides

The video for this song was filmed in 1994 and it showed a snippet of a couple walking on a beach. (of course it would!)

It's summer somewhere in the world!

I saw the board virtually died, but logged in today, saw new posts about Thanksgiving, and decided to give replying a try.

Sorry about your family issues, Dipper, and glad you were able to have perfect weather, "low to mid 70s and sunny when we got down to the sand, with almost no wind. The water was crystal clear and still warm enough to enjoy walking in the shallows."

It's too cold now to enjoy swimming at the lakefront cottage, but suntanning is great on a warm day in late fall. Some warm days prompted college students to invite friends who, as often happens this late in the season, felt "now or never until spring," and decided to try social nudity.

We agree with you on this:

You are TOTALLY right that social nudity encourages "taking off emotional barriers along with our clothes," but first-timers don't understand and feel nudity is a huge barrier to overcome, especially women who are socialized that nudity is only for the most intimate of relationships with deep trust and love for the man. Even women who are used to swimming, and being on beaches in revealing swimsuits, and who enjoy seeing men respond to what we wear, often feel very awkward taking off our swimsuits and letting not only our boyfriend but other men on the beach see those last few parts of our bodies that our swimsuits cover. It's far more difficult for women like me, taught that except for doctors, no man until our husband on our wedding night should see us nude, and even more difficult for married couples who feel they're somehow breaking the trust of their marriage when, perhaps for the first time in years or even decades, they're undressing with men other than their husband and women other than their wife. Resorts often say married couples must visit together, and there are good reasons for that. From our experience, when a married couple try social nudity for the first time, it's best they undress together and then hold hands or have their arms around each other's waists as they watch the rest of the group undress so the wife learns it's perfectly okay for her husband to enjoy seeing other nude women, and the husband learns that it's perfectly okay for a nude male friend to enjoy seeing his wife nude.

For dating couples, it's incredibly fun seeing men and women struggle with fears and false modesty as they undress together in a group of friends. Initially blushing with socially conditioned embarrassment as they undress and are seen nude by friends and see their friends nude, they begin to enjoy the sensations of warm sun and warm breezes, and their bodies begin to respond as they were created to do.

It is perfectly normal, natural, and healthy for young people to enjoy seeing each other without their clothes, and that enjoyment washes away their modesty. As experienced nudists know, that process usually takes somewhere around 10 to 15 minutes, maybe half an hour for the most modest of new nudists.

I use that phrase "new nudists" because we almost never have someone agree to go nude with us in a group of friends who doesn't get "hooked" after their first experience, no matter how scared they were before they tried it, and no matter how opposed the reluctant wife or reluctant girlfriend was to trying social nudity. Yes, we know couples who had bad experiences on a public beach with gawkers or with unfriendly and suspicious older people at a resort, and women who had bad experiences going solo without a boyfriend or husband, but when couples try social nudity with trusted friends, the first time is almost never the last time.

What we call the "adorable awkwardness" of a young couple undressing together soon turns into enjoyment and excitement as not only the man but also the woman learn to enjoy seeing and being seen. It's not unusual for a woman who stoically agreed to go a nude beach with her boyfriend, expecting to hate it and going only because he wanted her to go, to be very surprised as her body responds to the sensual enjoyment of water gliding over her nude body as she swims nude, and then gets dried off by the warm sun and warm breezes on the beach. Before too long, she's feeling, "I know I'm supposed to be uncomfortable, but I really love swimming and sunbathing nude, and I'm even beginning to enjoy men looking at my nude body the same way they look at me in the cute bikini I spent so much time picking out."

I know this is an old thread, but our friends at the cottage were talking about this song line quoted by Ramblinman:

Two friends, both now out of college and married, have been coming to the lakefront cottage since COVID, including long stretches when their university shut down the dorms and international students were encouraged, if possible, to live off-campus to avoid close quarters with other students. They didn't grow up in the USA so that song was new to them (anyway, it was written before they were born) and they loved it.

They felt that song was a near-perfect description of how they felt their first time undressing with their boyfriends in a group of people, absolutely scared to death as they unbuttoned their blouses and took off their bras, even though their boyfriends (and other male friends) were fully nude and the normal and expected emotions were rising up in their bodies of both curiosity and excitement at the very new experience to them of seeing male anatomy.

They both remember their boyfriends lightly touching them on their backs after they took off their bras, and blushing but enjoying their touch. One remembers her boyfriend, after she pulled down her skirt and panties, lightly touching her hair, offering her a hug, and then she concealed her nudity from the rest of the group by pressing her body into his, not realizing the reaction it would produce in her boyfriend. She felt the lines about closing her eyes and hiding, wanting to hold him until she died, and in her case, coming very close to breaking down and crying, and in fact holding him until her fear subsided and she could let him go and face the room again, fully bare and exposed and open and vulnerable, was almost tailor-made to describe her feelings on her first time undressing.

One line didn't fit. Only the girlfriends, not their boyfriends, wanted to "break down and cry." Of course their boyfriends were nervous undressing, but both absolutely loved seeing their girlfriends nude, and even more (both couples had previously been nude in private), going through the incredibly difficult experience of undressing in a group of male and female friends.

Both said the reassuring experience of light touch by their boyfriends on their nude backs after taking off their bras, and the caressing of their hair, and later on, holding hands and walking with arms around each others' waists as they got used to walking around nude, all of that physical touch gave them the reassurance they needed that, "Yes, this is really scary, and I feel really vulnerable, and yes, my boyfriend enjoys seeing our female friends nude, but he's with me and he loves me and he is really happy I'm going through with this."

What the song doesn't say (no song can say everything, of course) is how two women who had been raised not to show their bodies to anyone except their husbands on their wedding night realized that it wasn't just their boyfriends who enjoyed seeing nude women. As the day went on, the women enjoyed seeing their male friends nude, watching how male anatomy moves when it's not bound up by pants or swim trunks, and learned to enjoy men paying attention to their nude bodies.

What began with closing their eyes and wanting to hide, within half an hour, led to their fears subsiding as they learned to enjoy what they once feared. Both remembered giggling with a sense of "we shouldn't be doing this but it feels great" as they showered together for the first time in a group, again enjoying the physical touch of the man they loved, and learning to enjoy touching him as well.

The two women showed us a picture of them as freshmen wearing bikinis. It hadn't been their first time in bikinis but it had still been new to them, and the male friend who took the photo had told them how sexy they looked. (He wasn't wrong. They did look great.) They were sitting nude eating lunch with their nude husbands, in a room full of people with nobody wearing any clothes, and commented on how nervous they felt years ago to have their photos taken wearing bikinis, but now, even though they were completely nude and had been since arriving at the cottage, they were perfectly fine doing everything without wearing anything. Both couples woke up nude in their separate bedrooms, made love with their husbands, walked into the hallway nude, showered with their husbands and several other couples, and while there was definite physical attraction between friends, the two friends were very happy for each other that they had married a man they love, and have a very satisfying romantic life.

As they pointed out, the fear subsided long ago, replaced with mutual enjoyment of being nude.

Hi BeachBunny!

Spring comes and goes with the shifting winds.
It actually reached 70 Sunday!
But no one would dare plant tomatoes before the first of May. And swimming is probably not going to happen until mid-June in our chilly lakes. This is not the land of perpetual nudity, (not without a hot tub or sauna). But I think the quality of life is pretty good in my present home.

While we wait on summer, we just take every opportunity for nudity that comes along, even if it is only a couple of hours on a sunny afternoon. It's the rainy season, so those days are extra special.
The impatient among us have one remaining option: point your car south and keep driving until it feels like summer.

Like the changing seasons, your young friends are in transition too and that's a good thing. Imagine if we never overcame our fears, (regardless of what's spooking us).
For the same reason, a single song probably wouldn't serve as the background music for all of one's life. To be sure, men and women don't often cry the same way or for the same reasons. We are better for our differences, don't you think?
I am a better man for the women who have graced my life.


The way guys react to beauty can change in subtle ways over time.
Of course, it's not time that changes us. Rather, it is when we have enriching experiences and our minds are open to growth.
Men can reach a point where generic female nudity doesn't necessarily trigger erotic thoughts anymore than the sight of a vivid sunset or shimmering lake would.

Some guys might be frightened at the prospect of losing the response to nudity that is common to teenagers, but this is a natural part of maturity and essential to social nudity. Instead, our passions are stirred by our interactions with one woman in particular. In polite society we confine those moments to private time. I don't go to the places that are not "polite", don't even want to go there.

But "she" can move heart and soul far more than some cutie walking down the beach. And at the right time and place, the lion roars!