Hi! Welcome to my message board! Use it to contact me or others or to post questions and share ideas and experiences. The topic should always be related to nudism / naturism. Feel free to respond to posts from others in a respectful way if you have something helpful or meaningful to contribute. Let's keep it light, lively, and most of all, fun! Thanks!
Since Beach Bunny and Nudony were commenting about the lack of topics this summer I thought I would provide a trip report from a couple of weeks ago. My wife and I returned to our “local” (as in 3-hr drive away) nudist camp for a 4-day weekend to relax and disconnect from our everyday routine.
We arrived on a Friday afternoon and after checking in and getting settled into our rental cabin we went over to the conversation pool. As the evening came, more and more people were arriving. We enjoyed talking with a few people, and as it ended up there were two or three couples that were from our metro area back home. We had some good conversation fairly late into the night.
On Saturday we enjoyed the hiking trail, lounging in, or by the pool, and especially a couple of hours playing water volleyball with a couple of our new friends from back home.
Sunday morning my wife and I tried out the Pickle Ball court. It was a pretty steep learning curve but we sort of got the hang of it after a while. I figure anything is more fun when you’re doing it in the nude. As the day drew to a close most had to face the inevitable realization they eventually had to don their textiles and return to the “real world”, however, since I had taken one more day off from work we had a reprieve until the next day.
By Monday we had connected enough with our new friends we exchanged contact information. We look forward to the possibility of meeting up at times we might not be able to make it to the camp. And as we were preparing to depart we had our first instance of meeting someone we previously knew. It was a guy who I had worked with briefly before he retired. Ironically enough, our wives had also worked at the same office quite a few years prior when we both were in the military. As has been described before it was not at all uncomfortable, just interesting to find we had another thing in common.
I hope everyone is enjoying the warmer months appropriately nude.
Nice contri mTr! Good to hear you had a great time!
We were at the resort last weekend. We met up with our friends Adele and her husband as usual. Nothing really new that day; just a couple of anecdotes and random observations.
We actually arrived at the resort the same exact time. Adele and her husband got naked right away in the parking lot. My wife though has this "thing" where she prefers to wait until after check-in to get naked. I think it's just a habit from her newbie/CO days that she's never really shaken off. And it doesn't make much sense since everyone is going to see her naked afterwards anyway. But it's not that big a deal.
For me though, when we walked up to Adele and her husband and exchanged the usual hugs and greetings, it felt weird to me to not be nude at that time. I feel it's somewhat "impolite" to not be nude when interacting with a naked friend.
But anyway we then went back to the car, got naked and proceeded to the deck where Adele, her husband and another couple/friend our ours were waiting for us. We set our lounge chairs in a semi-circle as usual so we can face each other while socializing. After a while my wife and I went off to explore the lake on the paddle-boards, our favorite physical activity. Then group lunch and relaxation.
At one point I did notice a newbie couple that checked in...and then disappeared. I did not see them again until they left a few hours later and were walking back dressed through the parking lot. I imagine they had spent the day at the far end of the resort. I assume the GF was not ready to be seen nude by a "bunch of strangers"; and that's fine as the grounds are large enough to "acclimate" privately. And hopefully they do come back.
We did meet a few more interesting people in the hot-tub; amongst them one couple we've seen many times but never socialized with. I used to think they were very stand-offish but then I realized the wife was just painfully shy. So you never know!
Other than that; pretty much the same routines. Naked all day until having to leave and begrudgingly putting our clothes back on in the parking lot. We'll be heading back in a couple of weeks for a full weekend.
Alicia blushed deeply, looked down at her coffee, and didn't say anything for a moment. I worried that I'd badly offended her, told her so, but she softly replied, "No, you didn't offend me. I can't blame you for using words I said with my own mouth to make me admit my boyfriend shares my own desires. I see how he looks at me when we're swimming, and his swim trunks didn't hide what happened the first few times I walked out of his bathroom in my swimsuit, and we've had some talks while making out about whether we need to move toward marrying soon. We've known each other almost four years in college, and even though we've only officially dated for a few months, when we're in each other's arms it feels like we 'fit together,' and feels like we've been dating for decades, not just since we graduated and took jobs together here at the beginning of this summer."
As Alicia kept talking, I realized she didn't think I was serious about her and George showering together and skinnydipping. She thought the opposite, that I was warning her she was "playing with fire" by swimming together and that swimming might lead to them taking things farther than they wanted.
I asked Alicia if she needed to be back at work right on time at 1 p.m., and once she said she had some flexibility, I said, "We need to have a long talk, and it needs more time than we have now, so let's set up dinner with you, me, George, and my husband at our home. But for now, Alicia, you need to know something about me, and about our friend Crissy, and many women who come to our women-only nude swims and suntanning time. Me and my husband started going to a nude beach near our college as freshmen, we introduced Crissy to nudism before she and her husband married, and I wasn't joking about it being good for you and George, as a dating couple, to see each other nude."
Alicia's eyes got very big once she realized I was serious. She asked lots of great questions. Many were about how a dating couple could possibly avoid sex once they've seen each other naked, Others were about maintaining physical attraction for each other while being nude with friends. Alicia was amazed to learn back when my husband and I were dating, we spent nearly every weekend nude together on the beach near our campus with other friends from college, and often went there during the week as well. Alicia couldn't understand how my boyfriend and I went down to the beach on study dates with books in our beach bag, took off our clothes, enjoyed swimming nude together, and then laid out on our beach blankets and spent several hours preparing for an exam while suntanning together.
"BeachBunny, George can hardly keep his eyes off me in my swimsuit," Alicia said. "If we tried to study or read a book while naked together, I don't think we'd remember one word from the book and would get the worst grades on the exam we ever had."
I smiled, giggled a little, and told Alicia it also started that way for me and my boyfriend at first. We'd both dated other people but had never gone "all the way" with anyone, and for me, I had a difficult experience with a then-recent ex-boyfriend who had pushed me to go farther than I wanted, leading to a bad breakup that made it very difficult for me to trust men again, or get undressed with a boyfriend, let alone be nude with a whole group of people. With time, we both realized there was very little difference between swimming and suntanning fully nude and doing the same thing in swimsuits that cover up very little, since swimsuits are much more sexually exciting than being fully nude with friends.
I explained to Alicia what all nudists know, that social nudism is different from sex, and while nudist couples enjoy time in the bedroom, that's private between just us. When we're nude with others in public places like nude beaches or private resorts or pool parties, my husband certainly enjoys seeing my body, but it's not much different from a textile beach or swimming pool. Lots of college couples went on study dates to the textile beaches near our campus, or sunbathed together on lawns in secluded parts of the campus, and it was no more distracting to be reading an English literature textbook or accounting textbook on a nude beach than it would be on a textile beach.
Alicia didn't fully understand — how could we expect anyone to process such a radically new and different idea right away? — but she heard me out without rejecting me immediately, and agreed to meet for dinner to discuss more. I had guessed right that her growing desire for both physical and emotional intimacy with her boyfriend was gnawing away at her years of bad teaching about modesty and she was open to listening to me and my husband talk about the joys and benefits of social nudity.
People who drink sometimes say, "It's happy hour somewhere in the world".
I seldom drink, but I have a similar sentiment about summer: "It's summer somewhere in the world".
For much of the year, it's warm here, but when that fades with my tan, I can point my car south and in a few hours of driving, it's summer again!
There are days when even Miami isn't summery. Even in Hawaii, a January day can be more like late spring than summer. Perhaps if your budget allows you could fly to the deep tropics or southern hemisphere.
Some of my ancestors used sauna to recreate the heat of summer in an age when only sailors could escape the cold. Saunas are not cheap, but one could argue that it is cheaper than flights to Brazil, at least over a 2 or 3 year period.
I love summer too much not to find some sort of way to regain it, even if only for a few hours. And yes, summer is best enjoyed without clothes.
I did a bit of nude sunbathing this summer. Perhaps next year I will find more time to make it social and share those moments with kindred spirits.
Thanks Ramblin and BB.
I just got back from the resort myself so I'll just make a brief post and add on later...
Thanks, Nudony. When you have time, please do "add on later" to your post about your time this weekend at the resort.
For us, we got back late Monday night from the lakefront cottage after a whole Labor Day weekend of absolutely beautiful weather, warm but not too hot, that allowed us to be nude for three full days from Friday afternoon until late Monday. I feel long-term experienced nudists often forget how wonderful it is for people new to nudism, especially dating couples who don’t have the opportunity to be nude with each other regularly, to spend not just a few hours but multiple days never putting their clothes on again after taking them off.
Of course I’m not saying there’s no value for a dating couple in spending only part of a day together on a nude beach. That’s how my husband (at that point, my boyfriend) first got involved in social nudity when his friends invited him to the nude beach near our campus, and he loved it, and he eventually talked me into joining him. We love introducing friends to swimming in our pool and suntanning as a group, which usually means an evening together if it’s a weekday night or sometimes a whole morning and afternoon if it’s Saturday. Yes, we do know dating couples who called up a resort, reserved a cabin, and their first opportunity to see each other nude was also their first experience with group social nudity since they arrived at the resort Friday evening, undressed right away in their cabin, showered together, and took what for any couple is the very big step of opening the door and walking out nude together into a campground where everybody, including them, was completely nude. But for a dating couple to go from never seeing each other nude to spending a whole weekend nude at a resort is just too big of a step for most couples. It usually works much better for a first-time couple to try social nudity with trusted friends in a small group, and we think that’s best at a private home pool, though that’s not always possible and when we were in college it meant inviting a couple to the local nude beach with a group of friends who the couple knows and trusts.
We also agree on this:
So, you spent 2 days out of 365 in a social setting and it is "too much"socializing?
Perhaps your home life is so distracted by interruptions and needless routine that you and your wife need 100% of the time together when you go out of town.
I live in the same high tech world that you do and at least for me, my home life will need some major reworking so that prayer and other spiritual communion can get their justifiable priority.
And as a family man, your spiritual connectivity is part of your marital connectivity, inseparable.
The conviviality of two days at a nudist venue makes sense, but only if the other days of the year are balanced and your family time, particularly with Mrs. Nudony is met fully.
I offer these thoughts as my best guess, because I think it is the common human experience. Is there anyone among us who could not improve our homelife priorities?
Shoot. I went over my allotted hour to post. I'll be back later to repost.
There are two aspects to it.
What initially "sold" my wife on outdoor nudism was the "deepened" connection she felt we have when we are naked alone in nature. Do we connect at home? Yes we do. But home means chores to be done, TV shows to be watched, and a needy dog to attend to. Escaping from the daily distractions in a "back to nature" setting at the resort allows us to connect on a more fundamental and direct level. She feels that "too much socializing" distracts us from that experience. I get what she's saying.
The other aspect is "sustained exposure."
We go to the resort on a regular basis - even more so now that we have friends and acquaintances there. A much greater portion of our time is spent socializing than ever before. What was different about Labor Day weekend is that it turned out to be two full days (from 10 am to 8 pm) of almost uninterrupted socializing; in a manner that I would call "intimate", as we are basically huddled in a close semi-circle. Last weekend it was six of us; not to mention also interacting with two other couples.
I personally have no problem spending whatever amount of time fully naked in front of others, and vice-versa. For my wife, well, it's a bit more complicated. Adele, for example, is probably the most "body-free" of all of us. In the sense that she's not very self-conscious of how she sits or lays. I've chatted with Adele while she was in various "fully exposed" postures; and it doesn't bother me as I can easily maintain eye contact throughout our interactions. My wife is not as uninhibited as Adele; but she doesn't want to come across as self-conscious either. But after a while of "full frontal" interaction, she'll start feeling "stuck there" and forced to display a continuous level of uninhibition in front of everyone - who like Adele might have less issue doing the same - and her "learned modesty" will kick in. And two days straight of this just proved to be a bit too much for her.
We subsequently had a conversation on modesty; which allowed me to have a better understanding of my wife's comfort levels. She enjoys the friendships we've created; and knows that simply by virtue of being naked throughout the day and socializing, people are going to see her "nooks and crannies." She sees it as a natural, passing occurrence. But when the occurrence is sustained, seemingly indefinitely; she doesn't feel it natural anymore, and that the interaction has become more about everyone seeing each other's body parts than friendly interactions.
The takeaway for me was the question: "does modesty ever go away?" And I think through social nudity it just decreases to various degrees. For some more than for others.
Anyway, I hope I didn't go into too much detail. The last thing I want to be is "cringe!"
Thank you for your candor. You are hitting on something we all deal with, so consider it helpful.
You can now predict that your experience will be markedly different on major holiday weekends.
It is a two-edged sword: on one hand, the fun can extraordinary as you re-engage with friends who may not be quite as regular in attendance as you and your wife. But yes, it can all be a bit much for her, and perhaps you to a lesser extent.
And quite frankly, my personality may have some similarities to that of your wife, that is, I am both introvert and extrovert, cycling between the two, I need nature time typically solo unless I am with people who connect with nature in the same quiet way that I do. When I had a girlfriend, we very much needed "Just the Two of Us" time AND I have a strong need to mix it up with friends, but not all day and all the time.
In yoga class, I can tune out the distraction of classmates and focus on mind and body, but I appreciate their proximity in a silent, companionable way.
I definitely need personal space. I am not the huggy type. Not that I don't like hugs, but I don't want people hanging on me after a greeting hug.
When our non-landed club had winter meetings at member homes, I felt the loss of personal space in that somewhat small hot tub. And it's not sexual tension, just the lack of some arbitrary space that I enjoy.
No exact number of inches, I just know when I need more space.
Of course what you describe at the resort is a little different, but there may be some parallels in how we react to this.
I am not sure that my reaction would change if I were more regular in social nudity.
I will say that when I am engaged in sports, all thoughts about personal space and nakedness totally disappear. It's all about the game.
Even when I meet single women, I don't find their nudity distracting as long they are not bashful and trying to cover up in some awkward way. Breasts, bottoms and genitals may be interesting on the first Saturday of nude season for an hour or so, but it is the face that is truly distinctive and the thing that captivates me on a long-term basis. All women share the same basic body parts and men simply have the male version of those same parts.
I guess we do notice people on the extreme end of the spectrum: incredibly skinny, morbidly obese, pale skin, ebony skin, hirsute bodies, etc. but as we get to know people, doesn't that tend to fade too?
I am no longer just the hairiest guy at camp, I am me, the person who shares a laugh with you, the one who knows your family and your job concerns.
The only people who are totally free from body-consciousness are kids too young to know shame and the handful of human beings who live in perpetual nudity in some remote corner of the globe. Funny, I still have a few early memories of being one of those carefree kids. It takes years to regain much of that body freedom, but social nudity certainly helps a lot.
But I think you have already hinted at the solution to your dilemma: maybe don't go with your wife on the busiest weekends unless it means a lot to you. If you do find yourself on a crowded day at the resort, you will have to change what you do and where you go, looking for natural breaks in the day to reclaim your time together and not as much of the in-your-face situations.
I found myself at a party with nudist friends, but where the host turned into an absolute boor, very obnoxious. As soon as he left to buy more drinks (part of the problem) I simply told his wife that I was ready to call it a night, thanked her for inviting me and went back to my very peaceful campground. All the stress melted away.
Most of the people I meet are friendly and mellow, so it was easy to find a better cluster of people to visit with during the rest of the weekend. Note that I didn't have to leave our venue, just that one location.
Yeap; you’ve got exactly what I was talking about.
When nudist friends are so fond of physical closeness and openness, it can be hard to try and maintain some boundaries without making them feel like you’re hiding from them. That can create some peer-pressure. And Adele – as well as a couple of other friends - have set the bar pretty high. Sometimes “too high” for my wife’s comfort level. Even though Adele has been a motivational force for my wife, she has no designs on “matching” her. That’s ok; it’s not a competition. And it's not like she's not used to them seeing her in various modes of naked; it's just that she prefers an "appropriate" duration and distance.
In that regard clothed socialization is much different from naked socialization.
But I’ve heard my wife loud and clear; and for our next trip next weekend, we’re going on a day where the usual group won’t be there. That will allow us to get back to “just us.” And we’ll likely spend more time at the far end of the lake.
Heck, even clothed, I'd want some time away from the group after that long.
Great comments, Nudony and Ramblinman, about the benefits and challenges of being nude together as a group for long periods of time.
I like this comment by Nudony:
Our experience spending lots of time socially nude with close friends is the complete opposite of Nudony's wife. Rather than being "nude overload," it's exciting!
Why do I think being young may be crucial? Married and living together couples can be nude whenever they want inside their home. That’s different from college students who must find a place to be nude. That makes social nudity really exciting. It’s like, "WOW! We get to be nude together as a couple! Not hurried and rushed in a parked car, or a few hours in a dorm while the roommate is gone, but we can enjoy being nude as long as we like, and wandering all over the beach (or resort, or wherever) and swim and suntan nude together, not just spend time in bed."
Being able to relax together nude in the open air for long periods of time helps young couples separate social nudity from sex. Most of our seriously dating friends have been nude together and the nudity wasn’t chastely admiring each other’s physical forms like art models. What’s different about social nudity is young couples spend large amounts of time nude together and get used to nudity being a good thing in itself, not just as a prelude arousing each other for sexual intimacy.
Among the most common questions we get about social nudity from non-nudists who are curious and can’t understand nudism is this: "How do you maintain sexual attraction for each other if you see each other nude all the time?"
Depending on who's asking, we may not go into detail. These are pretty personal topics, after all, and many married couples keep some parts of their relationship private or only discuss them with family and very close friends. What we usually say is that our bedroom life is more active than most of our non-nudist friends and my husband feels nudism is a big contributor to that.
It's more helpful when our international student friends explain how living together at the cottage for months during the COVID lockdowns, almost never putting on clothes, caused all three dating couples to develop a very strong physical and emotional relationship.
Yes, there was definitely a strong physical component to that — there is no way that a dating couple in college can spend hours nude together without being very physically attracted to each other and enjoying that attraction, even if (as was the case with Meirong and her then-boyfriend, now husband) they were committed to waiting until marriage. What living at the cottage did for all three couples was to help separate the experience of being nude from their sexuality. After a few days together totally nude, 24-7, the three couples noticed that not just some of the time, but most of the time, they were no longer thinking about their physical attraction to each other when doing things like making breakfast, vacuuming the floors, studying together, or doing most of the other multitude of things that boyfriends and girlfriends do when visiting each other’s apartments.
Meirong’s boyfriend, for example, told us that when they were studying together pre-COVID in the campus dorm, Meirong liked to read books while laying on her bed on her stomach with her upper body propped up by her elbows, in a position that made it almost impossible for her boyfriend to resist the temptation to walk past her and "steal a look" down her blouse. Yes, he was tremendously excited the first time he and Meirong undressed and showered together, and he got to see not only a hint of her cleavage but her whole body completely nude. When she lay on pool chairs at the cottage in a very similar position reading books while nude, he was tremendously attracted to her. But after an extended period seeing Meirong (and their friends, Zilin and Sue) completely nude, and doing normal non-nude things with them but doing them without clothes, even quite intimate acts like showering together as a group produced much less physical attraction between the couples.
What the boyfriends of Meirong and Zilin learned was what Sue and her boyfriend had been trying to tell them for a long time: yes, nudists have physical intimacy, but it’s at times and places when the couple wants to be physically intimate. Once the false connection is broken between sex and nudity, couples learn that yes, we can see an attractive nude couple without an uncontrollable desire to go to bed with the person to whom we are attracted. Even with our own partner, our physical desires are under our control and only blossom into full flower if we want that to happen. Most of the time it’s the wrong time, and merely being nude doesn’t lead to a couple leaping into bed every time the man says, "she’s cute" or the woman says, "I like him."
I understand that there is a wide range of preference among nudists about personal space, full frontal exposure and full body hugs.
What I do find troubling is when people don't pick up on your preferences or seem to regard your feelings as irrelevant.
Women tend to be pretty good with these non-verbal cues, so I am not sure what's going on.
But you and your wife might want to consider ways to take matters in your own hands. Who wants to let a pushy friend dictate all these things?
You can put distance in a greeting hug by making it a shoulder hug and pushing away immediately, but distracting from the physical distance by verbal warmth and facial joy. The message will be obvious: you are a valued friend whom I am overjoyed to see once again, but our hugs need to stop at the shoulders, I decide!
Same with standing too close and too long. You can say, "Whew! It's a warm day, I'm tired, I need to sit down". If this person is eager to continue the conversation, she can sit down with you in an adjacent lounge chair and she can't flash you while sitting parallel to you.
Bringing other people into a conversation makes it easy to break away to mingle, leaving the other two to continue talking.
I am just throwing some ideas out there, hoping it will lead to a more enjoyable return visit.
Interesting thoughts here. Social nudity doesn’t come with any guidebooks, so sometimes it can be “less than evident to navigate.” Especially when the people interacting are at different levels of openness/modesty. As a reminder, we go to an “all-nude” resort; and some of the people there, who have been attending for years, have reached a level where they have few inhibitions left by virtue of having been consistently naked socially.
I have seen enough of your writings here to know that you two will come to a solution that works well for both of you.
At one club, I frequently see couples disengage from the crowds for more one-on-one time with no need to apologize nor worry about losing friendships.
I hear second-hand about a club in Florida that has yoga classes. Something like this is a great alternative to the party atmosphere with blasting music and loud conversations.
It's a bit ironic, but I find sports a helpful way to have zen moments and sociability at the same time.
And we can only speak from our current perspective.
Remember the dreaded job interview question, "Where do you see yourself in five years?".
I would have loved to said to the HR people, "How am I supposed to know such a thing!"
It would probably kill the interview right then and there, but you get to say it here!
Wow. Spammer really did a number on the message board :(
I just hope it doesn't turn people off. This kind of thing happens unfortunately. Some nice forums have been lost due to this plague.
Well my wife in I bid our adieus to summer 2023 the "nudist way." We went to our resort on its last open day this weekend. The weather was a bit cooler and our usual nudist "bunch" wasn't there. So my wife and I were on our own.
And she loved it lol! We spent the day one-on-one and my wife really enjoyed having a stretch of the lakefront - and me - all to herself. It was a "back to basics" day for her; and she admitted she really needed and appreciated it. Just being able to lay out in the sun without someone standing or sitting directly in front of her all day. We confirmed that going forward we'd spend an adequate amount of time just being a couple vs. being in a group.
The lesson learned this year: social nudism is great; but connecting one-on-one with your partner is also important. Tbh I was so focused on group nudism and cementing those connections that I (nearly) forgot to prioritize our time together and be mindful of my wife's "limits" when it comes to "prolonged" candid nakedness with other people.
Maybe my experience can serve as a "cautionary tale" to other couples.
My wife has come a long way since we first ventured to our "all nude" resort. Back then she didn't imagine that two years later we'd be part of a "semi-clique" and she'd end up spending most of her "naked time" in close interaction with many people. And tbh she's actually handled it pretty well; as she fairly quickly adapted to being confident naked around them. As a matter of fact she is hoping that many of them will be back next summer. She enjoys having nudist friends; she just doesn't want it to be the "only thing" when we go to the resort.
Well; that's my summer 2023. I hope everyone here also had a good - or at least interesting - nudist one.
The spam was so thick you could slice it with a knife!
Sunny, you got the message board cleaned up pretty good!
We are all growing. I have learned so much this year, some of it the hard way, some of it through listening better to people who love me (I prefer that latter method).
So no, you won't find me in the same place in the figurative sense and maybe not the literal sense either next summer. It will be very different and I know for most of us here, we can expect good things from our personal growth.
But looking back, I had moments when I could affirm nature, life, my body and my faith, all at the same time. It has been a wonderful summer.
Friends, we are onto one of the best things ever: being able to be comfortable in our skin and finding friends who share that freedom.
There are a lot of people who aren't ready to hear that news, but let's focus on those who are at least willing to discuss it.
Will we find ways to be naked in the cooler months of the year?
Worth a try, isn't it!
Hi, Nudony! Meant to respond earlier, but when the spam didn't get cleaned up for a few days, I got discouraged and felt, "Hey, maybe this board really has died if the admins aren't catching this."
Then real-life nudism took priority on some wonderful warm weekends. After some gloomy days we’re having great weather again, so I got the okay to work at home and I'm able to relax poolside with some college student friends who don't have afternoon classes while my poor hubby's in his office. HAH! I'd like to feel bad for him, but I'm loving the sun too much, and sent him a NSFW cell phone photo of us poolside to make him jealous.