I seem to be loosing my contributions before I post them. I was writting my opinion but I lost it so this time I will try to be "more" succinct.
I have been researching psycopathy for another purpose but I have come across some information about sociopathy that might be useful. Since I have been around psychologists and psychiatrists for a long time now, I can even have some helpful insight but I must tell you this: a forum is not the best place to seek an answer to such delicate matters. The first thing anyone should have posted here was "I can't tell for sure from what you have said and you should seek professional help". I'll give you my opinion to see if at least it abates your depressive state but be careful about what people reply: "a little knowledge is a dangerous thing."
The debate of whether or not a sociopath would care about being a sociopath is very relevent. As far as I can tell from my sources, sociopaths couldn't care less for their state of being and do not show any of the care you have showened for proper etiquette when talking to other people. No sociopath would ever say "thank you" or "please" in the way you have said it. Even if a sociopath had any problem with his behaviour, I profoundly doubt he would be depressed as you say you are.
You can still be a sociopath but you are probably under the influence of other disfunctional views of reality that are not so severe.
You yourself said you self-diagnosed the disease and not even psychiatrists do that in general: they know that self-diagnosing mental disorders is nearly impossible and very unwise. Professionals in the area, who suspect that they are lacking mental balance, always consult their peers for a third view opinion that they themselves cannot have.
Please, find yourself a good professional in the area: find one with who you can create a good therapeutic relation even if you have to try different persons.
Some people are just more distant and cold than others; some people had an infancy that didn't teach them the proper social skills to have a truly functional relation with others.
Think about it: do you go out of your way to break social rules? Do you hurt the people around you deliberatly? Did you have fun causing misery to others (to people or animals) while you were a child or a teenager?
There are many factors to take into account: you can still be a sociopath but you should definitely seek professional help.
First of all stop your recursive thoughts about the problem and try to reduce your anxiety. Seek help elsewhere.
I hope you find some peace about this subject soon.
-- What am I doing here? --
I am currently doing research on several topics for a few books and articles I am writing. I would like to make a positive contribution to fora (plural of "forum") about such topics in order to get constructive views on those matters for a better perspective on them. This is why I came here. I will not indulge myself in flamming and will not respond directly to any clearly non-constructive replies.
I have read some of Dr. Robert's responses to certain questions and I find them lacking and biased. Still, I truly wish to know what people who come here, and even Dr. Robert himself, think about my points of view for three reasons. First: I know I can, very easily, be wrong and I should keep an eye out for other opinions. Second: all points of view are important to have perspective on any matter, specially the ones one doesn't agree with. Third: wisdom can come from very strange places and one should not underestimate anyone as far as knowledge and wisdom are concerned.
Please, give me honest and constructive replies: I will return in kind.
"The slumber of reason creates monsters." - Goya
i does liked to say first: welcome to forums!!!!!!
it does be good to has new smart MIND here agein. This forums DOES has been living in mirror world some times now maybe you can takes forums BACKS to real world you does LOOKS like that kind of PERSON.
yours post does seems very good but i does asks this: what does HAPPENS if sociopath dosent exists? What does happens if there dosent be people who does be sociopaths realy and maybe there does only be people who does ignores feelings like you does can hears songs but you no wants to listens to them or dossent knows how to listens to song.
i'm not a socio but i recently met both a narc and a socio in the same context and the difference was very marked.
the socio was silently powerful, elusive and unpredictable, the narc was like a child who's buttons were easy to press, hissing and hating at anyone or anything that crossed his path. quite something and I desired to never meet another like him again.
i'll take a socio over a narc anyday. i'll take anyone over a narc anyday.
I always thought you were a Christian, Whitewolf, yet call the Bible "BS"?
I am also a self diagnosed sociopath and I don't want to be one either. I am suicidal but lack the guts to go thru with it. I hate living like this . my oldest daughter is just like me and hates herself. both my kids have cut me off. there is no help forme I am led to believe.