I am.. compelled to pursue you, Hexi.
I'm sorry I keep backing you into the corner. I just have this drive to.. hunt you. For some reason I am seeing you as weak and inferior. It makes me feel compelled to have aggression towards you. I don't know if it's an attempt to help you or an attempt to just hunt you because I see you as weak. But for whatever reason I acknowledge it's my fault we have been having these conflicting conversation.
But I will not deny my desires even though I logically understand them. I am compelled to inflict certain pains on you. As if to punish you for being weak and acting out of line.
I really believe I can fix you through physical violence. i wouldn't employ that method against them but against you.. it would be fun to break your ego. Nothing like hurting someone in order to help them. It's all love though. No anger like you.. no dwelling on dark thoughts and being stuck in the void. I left that behind. Enjoy!
Ok, just wanna say, yes it feels pathetic trying to control people around you... But it's just for one of a few reasons: 1. A rush 2. Being bored 3. Anger 4. Other reasons I don't remember...
Which I don't know why I have so much anger, or jealousy...I think the jealousy is not because I give a **** about another person, but it's something inside of me.
I feel like I can't be happy BECAUSE OF others. I feel like I can only be happy in isolation. Just me. I seriously dislike people... Somebody might say I am disrespectful but I can't even see it... It's like I don't even know what they're talking about. I couldn't care less about people's approval. That's got me in a bit of trouble throughout my life.
It's like they see things I can't see... Or maybe I see beyond what they see. It's strange. I react differently to things.