Hmmm...I get what you're thinking but I'm not sure we're talking about intimacy in the same terms.

It's one thing to hang out naked with friends for hours; it's another to be in each other's "faces." When we huddle together we are literally within reach of each other. It's a preference that our friends have formulated, and we've gone along with it.
Some people, like Adele, have no problem or self-consciousness about starting a conversation while standing two feet away from us; or open legged. For the person they are talking to, it might feel a bit "odd" to speak to someone whose genitals are two feet away for their faces; or dangling/fully exposed. Normally, this type of candid interaction with them would be "in passing." But last weekend it was pretty much non-stop with several people.

My wife will typically not emulate; but just kinda "go with it" to a certain extent - engaging in interaction in a more "exposed state" if she feels it makes sense in a particular situation. She has been candidly naked around our friends; but after a while she'll start feeling there's too much focus on "exposure" during interactions. She's not a big fan of the "full-body hugs" our friends exchange very liberally either. As much as she enjoys nudism, having nudist friends and extended nudity; its enjoyment has some limits for her -in terms of its level of "candor." Last weekend was just too much for too long for her.
To be fair, it's not always like that. That was just the "mood" last weekend. Perhaps because it's the end of summer here in the Midwest and people were feeling like letting it all hang out socially for the last time this year.

No one is right or wrong here. I can appreciate people who have shed their inhibitions almost completely. It's a manifestation of "true freedom" imho. I think it's also a "personality thing." That's why some people find it too "overt" and prefer some distance. And that's ok too.

I hopt that makes sense and wasn't too TMI.

Thanks for remembering me. Haven't been on for a while but noticed several people mentioned me or responded to things I posted. Didn't mean to be rude and ignore you. So sorry!

Responding to Nudony's comments about the dating couple who he said "the GF was not ready to be seen nude by a 'bunch of strangers'; and that's fine as the grounds are large enough to 'acclimate' privately," and the married couple about whom he "used to think they were very stand-offish but then I realized the wife was just painfully shy," we've also had great experiences with summer social nudity.

High heat and high humidity make people look for relief, and if people spend lots of time at public pools and home pools, that means more opportunities to suggest they might like to try an all-over tan. In our own home, when it's this hot, wearing T-shirts and jeans, or even a tank top and shorts, just doesn't make sense. This weather makes it easier to suggest to friends who know our preferences not to wear clothes at home that they might like to join us. Nudity just makes so much more sense if it's so hot that we sweat through our clothes, and for those people who successfully overcome their inhibitions and actually try social nudity, "newbies" quickly learn bare bodies are far more comfortable in heat and humidity when our skin can cool itself with sun and breezes as nature intended. A light breeze we might never notice when wearing a sopping wet T-shirt feels just wonderful when it cools us down by whisking away sweat from our foreheads, or even a light sheen of sweat all over our body after exerting ourselves on a day that's too hot to do very much.

Probably our best experience this summer was a twentysomething couple, not long out of college, who recently got engaged. I started out writing something much longer, but worried I'd just bore people by repeating things experienced nudists know very well about what it's like for a young couple in love to struggle with their emotions as they work up the courage to overcome years of being taught bad lessons about false modesty, learn to enjoy being nude together in private, and then move from nervous embarrassment to excited enjoyment as they realize how much fun it is to swim and suntan fully nude on a warm summer day with friends.

The couple, who I'll call "Alicia" and "George," are mutual friends with me and my husband, and Alicia also knows Crissy since she and I have invited Alicia several times to join us for women-only nude swims. Alicia and George studied together at the university we've mentioned in a nearby city, and while they were friends and Alicia had a "crush" on George, they didn't start dating until they graduated and both separately got hired for jobs at the same company in our community, As often happens when casual friends move to a new town and start working in the same workplace, they became much closer friends, and it wasn't long before Alicia started dropping hints she'd welcome George asking her out for a date. Both love swimming, and it only took a few months of dating before George got the courage to invite Alicia to swim in the pool at his apartment complex.

Late last summer when Alicia and I were enjoying lunch at a local restaurant near the two different companies where she and I work, I listened to Alicia, who isn't normally shy but is pretty bashful about her physical attraction for her boyfriend, talk about how much she enjoys swimming with George. Lowering her voice so nobody at nearby tables could hear, she described how much she enjoys showering at George's apartment before using the pool, knowing that while she's naked in his shower, her boyfriend is patiently waiting outside, having already showered and changed into his swim trunks before she arrived. Alicia told me she sometimes dreamed about surprising George by walking out of the bathroom without first putting on her swimsuit, or even about inviting George to undress with her and shower together.

My husband and I encourage Alicia and George in their commitment to "save it for later" by waiting until marriage, so she was extremely surprised when I asked, "Alicia, since you enjoy seeing George so much in his swim trunks, have you considered wearing a bikini rather than a one-piece, or better yet, asking George to join you in your pre-swim shower? He's a guy so I'm sure he enjoys seeing you in your swimsuit even more than you enjoy seeing him. You're fantasizing about walking out of the shower naked and surprising him, and like any guy, he's also excited about what you look like under your swimsuit."

(CONTINUED)

Nudony,

I understand that there is a wide range of preference among nudists about personal space, full frontal exposure and full body hugs.

What I do find troubling is when people don't pick up on your preferences or seem to regard your feelings as irrelevant.

Women tend to be pretty good with these non-verbal cues, so I am not sure what's going on.

But you and your wife might want to consider ways to take matters in your own hands. Who wants to let a pushy friend dictate all these things?

You can put distance in a greeting hug by making it a shoulder hug and pushing away immediately, but distracting from the physical distance by verbal warmth and facial joy. The message will be obvious: you are a valued friend whom I am overjoyed to see once again, but our hugs need to stop at the shoulders, I decide!

Same with standing too close and too long. You can say, "Whew! It's a warm day, I'm tired, I need to sit down". If this person is eager to continue the conversation, she can sit down with you in an adjacent lounge chair and she can't flash you while sitting parallel to you.

Bringing other people into a conversation makes it easy to break away to mingle, leaving the other two to continue talking.

I am just throwing some ideas out there, hoping it will lead to a more enjoyable return visit.

Interesting thoughts here. Social nudity doesn’t come with any guidebooks, so sometimes it can be “less than evident to navigate.” Especially when the people interacting are at different levels of openness/modesty. As a reminder, we go to an “all-nude” resort; and some of the people there, who have been attending for years, have reached a level where they have few inhibitions left by virtue of having been consistently naked socially.

That’s because we haven’t made it plain and evident.

For us, if someone is demonstrating a high level of confidence/candor/trust interacting naked in front of us, “seemingly pushing back” against it can feel like a denigration. We try to avoid making the other person feel like they’re doing something “wrong.” Especially if we have struck a friendship with them or interacting with a newbie. And we have been perhaps overly conscious of this.
It’s even more complicated for my wife when the other women we interact with are “candidly” naked. There’s bit of peer-pressure for her – not so much to emulate - but to at least not demonstrate any self-consciousness. Which can lead her to be in situations where she’s not entirely comfortable (which usually has to do with extended "in your face" naked interactions); yet she will not overtly express any discomfort as to not “kill the vibe.” Hence: she just "grins and bares it." LOL!

But that doesn’t mean one should just ignore their personal boundaries. That’s where it can get tricky. Because you want to reinforce those connections; not place a barrier that can be hard to overcome. And I agree that my wife and I haven’t quite figured it out yet; and Labor Day weekend put that fact in sharp focus.
We don’t need to always arrange our lounge chairs in a semi-circle; and that’s something we can change by simply arriving earlier than our friends and arranging them side by side. Limiting the time we spent “clustered” is also a step we’ve discussed.

It’ll be alright though. We just have to manage our interactions a little more closely. We've developed great friendships and we intend to keep them.

Nudony,

I have seen enough of your writings here to know that you two will come to a solution that works well for both of you.

At one club, I frequently see couples disengage from the crowds for more one-on-one time with no need to apologize nor worry about losing friendships.

I hear second-hand about a club in Florida that has yoga classes. Something like this is a great alternative to the party atmosphere with blasting music and loud conversations.

It's a bit ironic, but I find sports a helpful way to have zen moments and sociability at the same time.

And we can only speak from our current perspective.

Remember the dreaded job interview question, "Where do you see yourself in five years?".
I would have loved to said to the HR people, "How am I supposed to know such a thing!"
It would probably kill the interview right then and there, but you get to say it here!

Wow. Spammer really did a number on the message board :(
I just hope it doesn't turn people off. This kind of thing happens unfortunately. Some nice forums have been lost due to this plague.

Well my wife in I bid our adieus to summer 2023 the "nudist way." We went to our resort on its last open day this weekend. The weather was a bit cooler and our usual nudist "bunch" wasn't there. So my wife and I were on our own.

And she loved it lol! We spent the day one-on-one and my wife really enjoyed having a stretch of the lakefront - and me - all to herself. It was a "back to basics" day for her; and she admitted she really needed and appreciated it. Just being able to lay out in the sun without someone standing or sitting directly in front of her all day. We confirmed that going forward we'd spend an adequate amount of time just being a couple vs. being in a group.

The lesson learned this year: social nudism is great; but connecting one-on-one with your partner is also important. Tbh I was so focused on group nudism and cementing those connections that I (nearly) forgot to prioritize our time together and be mindful of my wife's "limits" when it comes to "prolonged" candid nakedness with other people.
Maybe my experience can serve as a "cautionary tale" to other couples.

My wife has come a long way since we first ventured to our "all nude" resort. Back then she didn't imagine that two years later we'd be part of a "semi-clique" and she'd end up spending most of her "naked time" in close interaction with many people. And tbh she's actually handled it pretty well; as she fairly quickly adapted to being confident naked around them. As a matter of fact she is hoping that many of them will be back next summer. She enjoys having nudist friends; she just doesn't want it to be the "only thing" when we go to the resort.

Well; that's my summer 2023. I hope everyone here also had a good - or at least interesting - nudist one.

Nudony,

The spam was so thick you could slice it with a knife!
Sunny, you got the message board cleaned up pretty good!

We are all growing. I have learned so much this year, some of it the hard way, some of it through listening better to people who love me (I prefer that latter method).

So no, you won't find me in the same place in the figurative sense and maybe not the literal sense either next summer. It will be very different and I know for most of us here, we can expect good things from our personal growth.

But looking back, I had moments when I could affirm nature, life, my body and my faith, all at the same time. It has been a wonderful summer.

Friends, we are onto one of the best things ever: being able to be comfortable in our skin and finding friends who share that freedom.
There are a lot of people who aren't ready to hear that news, but let's focus on those who are at least willing to discuss it.

Will we find ways to be naked in the cooler months of the year?
Worth a try, isn't it!

Hi, Nudony! Meant to respond earlier, but when the spam didn't get cleaned up for a few days, I got discouraged and felt, "Hey, maybe this board really has died if the admins aren't catching this."

Then real-life nudism took priority on some wonderful warm weekends. After some gloomy days we’re having great weather again, so I got the okay to work at home and I'm able to relax poolside with some college student friends who don't have afternoon classes while my poor hubby's in his office. HAH! I'd like to feel bad for him, but I'm loving the sun too much, and sent him a NSFW cell phone photo of us poolside to make him jealous.

Like you, Nudony, I was thinking of different levels of comfort with being nude, and with physical contact, postures, etc. I didn’t mean sexual intimacy. That belongs in bedrooms, not in public.

I agree people have different comfort levels with social nudity, such as Adele being what you called "open legged." My husband had to get used to talking with women when he was standing and they were sitting at eye level with his… well, you know. His female friends were experienced nudists long before they came to the nude beach near our college, and were patient with his embarrassment.

As Ramblinman said, we need to know the difference between helping nervous newbies overcome inhibitions and pushing people to do things nude they wouldn’t do in dresses and suits.

Some nudists think I'm a "nude prude." I usually sit with crossed legs, rarely hug men when nude, and even then, I do the bend-forward routine with shoulders touching so my breasts don't come in contact with male friends' chests unless they choose to pull me closer and I choose to let them.

Of course there are exceptions. When I'm sitting poolside or on a beach blanket and not in a chair and need both hands free, such as when I'm eating, yes, I will sit in what my mother called "Indian style" and is now called "criss-cross applesauce" or "yoga style." I have something on my lap, whether it's a plate of food or my laptop or a book or something else that mostly covers up "down there." Of course people get a glimpse of me when I sit down. It did bother me for several years even after I was a nude beach regular. It no longer does, but I just choose not to sit that way unless I have a good reason.

Is that "being a prude" and "not a real nudist"? I don't think so. I sit the same way nude as I do when wearing a skirt. Girls learn skirt etiquette very young so people don’t see up our skirts. By the time teenagers start to "develop," we learn to be careful about hugging people tightly only if we know for sure it's okay.

We've been places where some nudists were more "frisky" in public than we were comfortable with. Some resorts have a different "vibe" during the day and early evening than later at night. We don't do that, and when others do, we find an excuse to politely leave.

Yes, there are gray areas. We've been to dances at resorts where slow dancing with close hugs between friends was expected, and partners were encouraged to dance with other people, not just their own girlfriend/wife/boyfriend/husband. At some resorts we were fine with that since the slow music called for close dancing and we were visiting with close friends and we'd danced to the same music fully clothed in ball gowns and suits at some very formal events. Also, at the lakefront cottage, group showers are unavoidable because there are too many people for everybody to shower privately, so the owners built an indoor shower room with multiple shower heads as well as an open-air poolside shower with a row of shower heads and a slope leading into a drain so soapy water doesn't enter the pool.

Some people are much more expressive, but they're like that whether nude or fully clothed. I'm an outgoing woman and love to chat with friends, but I'm very much aware that while hugging a female friend communicates "I care about you a lot," hugging a male friend communicates something else. Unless I know a male friend extremely well, and also know his wife or girlfriend, I won’t do that.

I think this is less about nudity than about how physically expressive we get with different people in textile life.

Hello BB! Well I for one am glad you haven't quit the MB. I was concerned that a lot of the usual posters would be discouraged by the mess the spammer made.



My wife feels the same exact way. "Conservative" postures and "only shoulders touching" while hugging are also her preference. It has to do with "learned modesty"; and pushing herself outside her comfort zone for the sake of displaying "naked confidence" is not really conducive to her personal comfort - at least not for any extended period. And she is still flexible in her "modesty"; as she knows - for example - that her enjoyment of being out on the lake paddleboarding will result in her being more "exposed"; a natural fact she has no issues with (if you paddleboard with your legs closed, you're sure to fall in the water - so it makes no practical sense).

"Naked confidence", IMHO, has more to do with the "energy" projected than the level of "candid exposure" displayed. It's that "energy" that will motivate and inspire shy/newbies; not the fact that all your "nooks and crannies" are right in front of their face.
At least that's my take-away.