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Re: Teen + Parents = Bad Recipe?

How do you tell a daughter that her father is not perfect and has control issues? The truth is you really can't. Girls bond stronger with their fathers than mothers and the same is true for boys with their mothers.

Your father is narcissistic. Your ego will never accept what I have said and more than likely you will become angry with me. I'm sorry.

The clue was how you reacted to Dr Roberts suggestion that you should show your family and how you reacted as if that would be a terrible idea. Open minded parents would reflect on what has happened but self absorbed narcs.. only get mad because you threatened their egos.

Re: Teen + Parents = Bad Recipe?

I'm not at all angry. I do think that both of my parents are very close-minded and I never thought my father was perfect, but they do put me first in their lives. My father does not have control issues... I mean, im not sure what you mean by control issues, but my parents never beat me, never broke my things... nothing in terms of violence.
I am guessing there is no cure for "close-mindness" though!

Once again, thank you for response!

Re: Teen + Parents = Bad Recipe?

Thank you for the nice things you said about my response! :)

My father does not have control issues... I mean, im not sure what you mean by control issues, but my parents never beat me, never broke my things... nothing in terms of violence.

Someone with control issues needs to be in control of everyone and everything all the time. They see their children not as independent human beings, but as possessions. They need to know everything about their 'possession'; where you are, what you are doing, who you are with, what you have in your private areas--and they need to be able to control all of the above. Rather than respecting you as a human being, they treat you like just another thing they own; something to control, mold, perfect, and show off--an extension of their own egos. If your parents treat you like that, then yes, they do have control issues. Any attempt on your part to be your own person will be taken as an attack on their egos. (That travel bag, for example, will probably cause problems.)

It sounds as though they might feel they are protecting you from making the mistakes they made growing up. It may be that they want you to be the perfect child they weren't when they were young. However, it seems to me that they are taking it too far. They have unreasonable expectations of you. 'Don't leave the light on in the bathroom'? 'Don't lean against the walls'? 'Don't touch mirrors or glass'? It's like they are picking on the small things because you haven't given them any large things to pick on. They need to back off a bit. You need some freedom to make your own mistakes.

To Catalyst:

I'm afraid to say that your posts left me in a little bit of confusion. I am sure that you just had a bad day, so if you need to talk about your problems, I am sure people on this forum will be happy to help. Once again, I did not entirely understand what you were saying, but if you were critiquing any of the people who responded, may I ask you to reconsider your behaviour. This is a great online site, please learn to respect it.

Nah, he just wanted to complain a little bit, and picked your thread to do it in. He does that sometimes when he's bored. :) He's an interesting fellow, is Catalyst.

Just out of curiosity, is it normal for families to be like this? So.. uncomfortable? In the movies, I see happy families where kids talk to their parents all the time, hug, watch movies, but when I watched movie with my parents, it was sort of, isolated. Do families grow out of this stage or will time not fix this?

I think all families are a little warped in one way or another. It's part of being human. Movies have a tendency to idealise everything. I would say that your family is not going to just grow out of these problems. I'm afraid you'll have to fix them, or learn to deal with them, yourself. I wish I had a better idea of how you might go about it. If I were in your shoes, I'd probably pack a few bags and run away. :P