With regards to your "needing a woman," I too once felt that way after loosing my wife to suicide but after dwelling deeply in the Word as you have indicated, it became clear that God was now calling me unto Himself alone without any extra encumbering baggage. The less I had to deal with fleshly passions and desires the better able I was to "hear His still small voice" and respond to the promptings of His Spirit. As a result, the cross I had to pick up while choosing to follow Him was the responsibility I have had for my three young children. I therefore cast away all that my life was, career, house, cars, debts and unruly friends and family and took to raising my three children aboard my small sailboat, alone as a widower. God filled my life with purpose and in the process, I learned more about the relationship He desires of us. At that time in my life, I too was being tormented by physical passions, being wakened in the middle of the night, having my eyes and mind distracted by beautiful women etc. Because I understood that God was calling me unto His self I desperately prayed to God for several weeks that He would deliver me from this emotional and physical torment.

Guess what? He did and to this day I am able to deal with women comfortably without the passions of flesh interferring and my mind wandering in lustful thoughts. I t was as though He took those passions and bottled them up and hid them away on the high shelf of some dark cellar to which I have no access. I have been free from it ever since and I don't bother with nor am I distressed with thoughts of lacking a help mate to this day. What makes this story more interesting is that I have been tested a number of times by alluring women and God has kept me chaste without difficulty. When my serious committment and passion for discipling after Christ Jesus becomes evident in my converstaions with women, it usually turns them away and/or turns them off. The women in my life who love God do not make attempt to change my mind or defile my celibacy.They instead respect the man I have become and I in turn can treat them with respect and honor. But that is my case and not necessarily yours because "the Lord distributes to each man," and thus I have so chosen to walk.

In your particular case, I would be fearful of any remarriage because of your existing bond to your first wife. You indicated that your divorce was after you both became believers. This was a mistake and further demonstrates that neither of you understood that "love is a unwavering committment" and not some ****able feeling that is here today and gone tomorrow. I fear that in God's eyes you are still married and not therefore available according to His rules! For you both still being alive yet seperate having joined one another in marriage before God separated for causes not related to unchastity. Am I right? If that is the case, neither of you are permitted to remarry because of your first vows before God. Should either of you remarry then you make another an adulterer/ess. God's Word is clear on this and cannot be construed any other way so there shall be a recompense of some sort for one or both of you should you rebell against God's Word. God desires obedience and not sacrifice. Your attained obedience would be evidence of your unwavering committment (love) for Him.

So what is it you truly desire Phil? A woman who can satisfy your sexual appetites but become a burden to you in many other ways (never achieving peace) or would you rather experience a real diliverance from such torment and distraction thereby tasting the peace that accompanies true surrender to God and His Word? That is the question you should be asking yourself. While you are still free to choose, I would advise you to choose wisely for the days are drawing short and if you complicate your life any further than it already has become, you may find yourself being left behind during the great and terrible day of the Lord. There is much work to do in the fields to which we are called Phil and very little time left to do it so be not distracted by your flesh and focus more intently on the unction of God's Holy Spirit. Your flesh is weak, the Spirit is willing but your flesh is not able to obey without your sincere desire and petition before God to be delivered and made to fulfill His purpose and calling. More plainly, you must let the "old man die" in you that the very Spirit of God may rise and live through you.

Con't Pt. III

So what is it you truly desire Phil? A woman who can satisfy your sexual appetites but become a burden to you in many other ways (never achieving peace) or would you rather experience a real diliverance from such torment and distraction thereby tasting the peace that accompanies true surrender to God and His Word? That is the question you should be asking yourself. While you are still free to choose, I would advise you to choose wisely for the days are drawing short and if you complicate your life any further than it already has become, you may find yourself being left behind during the great and terrible day of the Lord. There is much work to do in the fields to which we are called Phil and very little time left to do it so be not distracted by your flesh and focus more intently on the unction of God's Holy Spirit. Your flesh is weak, the Spirit is willing but your flesh is not able to obey without your sincere desire and petition before God to be delivered and made to fulfill His purpose and calling. More plainly, you must let the "old man die" in you that the very Spirit of God may rise and live through you.

Therefore, I urge you to decrease of yourself that Christ may increase in you. I'll pray the same for you and hope that you recieve my letter and testimony in the loving light it was written and submitted and therefore intended. I speak not of speculation or theory but of practical application and experience contending with the divine revelation that accompanies acceptance of what the Word of God judges. Recieve it fully and be delivered from the snare and trappings of worldly ways and unsaved souls. In Christ Jesus I pray for Philip Moss... AMEN

With all sincerity and love for the truth and our scattered brethren abroad,

Nicholas A. Stivers, humbled God fearing man, scribe and messenger.
Author; Apostasy Revealed published 2003 by Mountainview Publishing ISBN: 1-928602-92-4 http://nicholasscrolls.cephasministry.com
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