From: Phil Moss
To: svshalom@earthlink.net
Subject: Hi
Date: Jan 4, 2006 2:15 AM

Hello

Rita said you have something to say about divorce and remarriage. She said she has told you about me. I'm from England. My wife left me over 5 years ago and went back to Brazil. We married as unbelievers. She was catholic and I was born again in 1995, 4 years after I got married. I now really need a woman in my life. I waited 4 years before I felt this way. I got absorbed in the things of God for the first 4 years, but for the last year I realised the lack, not just sexual, and the desire is getting stronger. There is no closure. She has left me in this horrible limbo. I have no reason to believe she has committed adultery but she has no desire to reconcile as she says she only cares as a sister. I wonder if she even does that. The man/woman love has been killed off as far as I'm concerned too, but I still care as a Christian only. I need someone I can be in love with - my helpmate. It's only normal and I think it's not good that I'm in this weird situation. It's not good for me spiritually as it's affecting my behaviour. I've got a lot of anger and frustration because I haven't got a normal loving outlet. I think I would function better as a Christian if I had a loving and helpful wife who I desired and I would focus in that way on.

Do you think 1 Corinthians 7:15 applies to me because we weren't believers when we got married? I certainly don't have enough peace.

Kind regards

Phil Moss

January 5, 2006

Shalom Phil,

Yes, I do have some insight for you to ponder and also some personal witness and testimony. I hope that your heart and mind are ready to accept what your flesh is unwilling to submit to. Your willingness to surrender will be evidence that the Spirit of our Lord is abiding within you and your unwillingness will be evidence that you are still carnal having accepted your life as it is rather than dying entirely to the old fallen man that you are. Which way is it going to be for you Phil? Are you seeking deliverance from your obvious torment or are you hoping for God to bless you with a godly women in your care? Believe me when I say that I do understand what you are experiencing for I was once tormented by the same desires and overflowing, untamed passions. Deliverence is possible but you must want it more than your desire to satisfy your fleshly wants. Notice I said "wants" as opposed to "needs." What you need is to bear the fruits of repentance showing your desire for salvation to be genuine) and get off dwelling on the things of the flesh. Jesus commands us to seek the things which are spiritual and leave behind the things of old which are carnal and solely for the satisfying of the flesh.

Do you really think that God would grant you one of His precious daughters of righteousness when you have not yet made yourself approved to be the God fearing man you are called to be? This is a question that I asked a dear friend of mine long ago who sought after the same you seek. He waited for years and actually remained celibate for 14 years never having been married always hoping for the right woman to come along. His eyes were focused on the natural beauty of women rather than seeking the cleansed heart of a righteous woman with whom he could edify and be edified. After 5 more years of my ministering to his real need for sanctification (setting straight his pathways), he was indeed blessed with a God fearing woman who had had one prior marriage with three kids and was single. Now it appears that their marriage is blessed to this day but what is noteworthy here is that my beloved friend and brother had to conform to God's way and Word before he could recieve such a blessing. Now he understands much of what I shared with him regarding the responsibility and extroidinary attention that he must give to care for such a woman. He also finally sees with the eyes of his Spirit and not with the eyes of his flesh. She is nothing like what he thought for years would be the woman of his life but she in fact is what best suits God's desire for him because she is a faithful and Godfearing woman who understands love as a committment and not some form of lust or undisciplined sensuality. His life though filled with many new responsibilities is complete and the challenges that press him everyday afford him the opportunity to really live out his faith in a practical way being responsible for all the household as God would so have it. This then became what he truly needed to draw him closer to a living relationship with God and understanding of the practical necessity for abiding in God's Word.

And what about God's Word in your life Phil? Ask yourself where you are in denial? Ask yourself how rebellious you have been in ignoring the things that God wants you to accept while you pursue the desires of your flesh. Paul indicated to the 1 Corinthians 7:17 "Only, as the Lord hath distributed to each man, as God hath called each, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all the churches." So the question is this, are you called to serve God or are you called to serve self? Only you can aswer that because that is between you and God but I discern that you are rejecting part of His Word in your life which is why you are still being tormented with sexual desire. In scriptural context to Paul's statement, "burn with fire," you may well be heading straight in that fire and even be in subjection to it now because you are still seeking to satisfy the lusts of your flesh. How many women have you had since your marriage Phil? You have not indicated so in your letter and neither has Rita said anything of relevance to this but I discern that you have comitted adultery and are paying for it now. Be truthful now because the Spirit of my Lord is also witness and this is an opportunity for you to confess and be rid of the torment that is befalling you.

Con't Pt. II

With regards to your "needing a woman," I too once felt that way after loosing my wife to suicide but after dwelling deeply in the Word as you have indicated, it became clear that God was now calling me unto Himself alone without any extra encumbering baggage. The less I had to deal with fleshly passions and desires the better able I was to "hear His still small voice" and respond to the promptings of His Spirit. As a result, the cross I had to pick up while choosing to follow Him was the responsibility I have had for my three young children. I therefore cast away all that my life was, career, house, cars, debts and unruly friends and family and took to raising my three children aboard my small sailboat, alone as a widower. God filled my life with purpose and in the process, I learned more about the relationship He desires of us. At that time in my life, I too was being tormented by physical passions, being wakened in the middle of the night, having my eyes and mind distracted by beautiful women etc. Because I understood that God was calling me unto His self I desperately prayed to God for several weeks that He would deliver me from this emotional and physical torment.

Guess what? He did and to this day I am able to deal with women comfortably without the passions of flesh interferring and my mind wandering in lustful thoughts. I t was as though He took those passions and bottled them up and hid them away on the high shelf of some dark cellar to which I have no access. I have been free from it ever since and I don't bother with nor am I distressed with thoughts of lacking a help mate to this day. What makes this story more interesting is that I have been tested a number of times by alluring women and God has kept me chaste without difficulty. When my serious committment and passion for discipling after Christ Jesus becomes evident in my converstaions with women, it usually turns them away and/or turns them off. The women in my life who love God do not make attempt to change my mind or defile my celibacy.They instead respect the man I have become and I in turn can treat them with respect and honor. But that is my case and not necessarily yours because "the Lord distributes to each man," and thus I have so chosen to walk.

In your particular case, I would be fearful of any remarriage because of your existing bond to your first wife. You indicated that your divorce was after you both became believers. This was a mistake and further demonstrates that neither of you understood that "love is a unwavering committment" and not some ****able feeling that is here today and gone tomorrow. I fear that in God's eyes you are still married and not therefore available according to His rules! For you both still being alive yet seperate having joined one another in marriage before God separated for causes not related to unchastity. Am I right? If that is the case, neither of you are permitted to remarry because of your first vows before God. Should either of you remarry then you make another an adulterer/ess. God's Word is clear on this and cannot be construed any other way so there shall be a recompense of some sort for one or both of you should you rebell against God's Word. God desires obedience and not sacrifice. Your attained obedience would be evidence of your unwavering committment (love) for Him.

So what is it you truly desire Phil? A woman who can satisfy your sexual appetites but become a burden to you in many other ways (never achieving peace) or would you rather experience a real diliverance from such torment and distraction thereby tasting the peace that accompanies true surrender to God and His Word? That is the question you should be asking yourself. While you are still free to choose, I would advise you to choose wisely for the days are drawing short and if you complicate your life any further than it already has become, you may find yourself being left behind during the great and terrible day of the Lord. There is much work to do in the fields to which we are called Phil and very little time left to do it so be not distracted by your flesh and focus more intently on the unction of God's Holy Spirit. Your flesh is weak, the Spirit is willing but your flesh is not able to obey without your sincere desire and petition before God to be delivered and made to fulfill His purpose and calling. More plainly, you must let the "old man die" in you that the very Spirit of God may rise and live through you.

Con't Pt. III

So what is it you truly desire Phil? A woman who can satisfy your sexual appetites but become a burden to you in many other ways (never achieving peace) or would you rather experience a real diliverance from such torment and distraction thereby tasting the peace that accompanies true surrender to God and His Word? That is the question you should be asking yourself. While you are still free to choose, I would advise you to choose wisely for the days are drawing short and if you complicate your life any further than it already has become, you may find yourself being left behind during the great and terrible day of the Lord. There is much work to do in the fields to which we are called Phil and very little time left to do it so be not distracted by your flesh and focus more intently on the unction of God's Holy Spirit. Your flesh is weak, the Spirit is willing but your flesh is not able to obey without your sincere desire and petition before God to be delivered and made to fulfill His purpose and calling. More plainly, you must let the "old man die" in you that the very Spirit of God may rise and live through you.

Therefore, I urge you to decrease of yourself that Christ may increase in you. I'll pray the same for you and hope that you recieve my letter and testimony in the loving light it was written and submitted and therefore intended. I speak not of speculation or theory but of practical application and experience contending with the divine revelation that accompanies acceptance of what the Word of God judges. Recieve it fully and be delivered from the snare and trappings of worldly ways and unsaved souls. In Christ Jesus I pray for Philip Moss... AMEN

With all sincerity and love for the truth and our scattered brethren abroad,

Nicholas A. Stivers, humbled God fearing man, scribe and messenger.
Author; Apostasy Revealed published 2003 by Mountainview Publishing ISBN: 1-928602-92-4 http://nicholasscrolls.cephasministry.com
http://abide-in-truth-events.cephasministry.com/
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