I feel so alone. the world is changing.... around me. i am full of rage.i am a drug addict. i hurt people. i would rather all people would stay away from me. they make me mad. but without them i am alone. i hear a high pitched noise in my ear. and a ticking noise. both i have heard for years. life is a dream. surreal. nothing seems real. except for fear. i am afraid. my friends are all but gone. i have my dog. i wish she was savage. she is not. i would like a weapon. i would like to be a weapon. i wish i was a soldier of god. superhuman. i see the black horse rear up in my path. i will destroy him. it. it rapes the earth. i live inside my head and struggle to fit in. i am a afraid i can't change. i have intrusive thoughs. violent thoughts. horror. i wonder why this happens. i am bi polar. i hate society and what it expects. i think sometimes i could do terrible things. but i think it must take a trigger. i don't know. maybe i am good aswell as evil. I will succumb I am afraid. I am calm. I have fear. I am prepared.