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emotional self-abuse

My first two relationships as a teen were verbally and emotionally abusive. After I ended it with my first boyfriend, I remember having a panic attack any time our phone rang because it could have been him. That was nearly 10 years ago and I am now married to the most wonderful man that I love deeply. We've been together nearly 4 years and while he knows of my previous abuse, he does not know that the wounds from that abuse still exist. I didn't even know about it until tonight when things started to click. My marriage has begun to suffer because I get upset by the smallest thing. In my head, I tell myself what a horrible person I am and how I mess everything up. I make everything my fault. I have isolated myself from friends. I can't even remember what my hobbies were before we got married. I do what he does. I know my husband is concerned. He's told me again and again to call up one of my old friends and go have fun without him. I always make excuses. My whole life revolves around making him happy and I do that by letting him have his way (or forcing him to make every decision when he tries to get my opinion). I have made myself a codependent victim. And I didn't even know it. I know that I am depressed. I know I need help. My husband was laid off last year and we can't afford for me to go on medication or see a counselor. My father is our minister and I don't feel comfortable talking with him about how messed up I am. All I know is that I need help. I am the one ruining our marriage and I feel like I'm sinking.