The problems presented by autism are many and varied, and I certainly do not have a solution or quick fix for any of them. I did not say that you should refrain from trying to help your daughter to find ways of being more integrated into the larger cultural surround, but that you should go slow and minimize the amount of pressure and coercion. Although your daughter's emotional needs may seem bizarre and quirky, most of them really are no different in kind from the needs of any of us--just their expression is different, and if this is understood you may find more effective and gentler ways of trying to help her meet them while becoming more integrated socially. I know this is a challenge, but what else can you do?
To answer your specific question: I do think you should have guests in your home whenever you like, but you should not, in my opinion, ever coerce your daughter into interaction with them. It is her right to avoid such contact is that is what she wants or needs.
I sympathize with your situation which certainly is difficult and seems to have no real resolution. I simply suggest that you go slow with any changes of routine while trying to see things through her eyes when possible. If you think I am wrong about this, I suggest getting other opinions from autism experts (which I am not).
You put that very well. Thank you... both of you.