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Re: Felling like I shoudn't be loved

Living in the past... When will any of you ever learn to live in the now? I guess you can't. Your brains lack the capacity to comprehend the shifting of time.

So you loop problems in your head until final meltdown. How.. pathetic.

Sometimes we wish to shift back in time and correct the errors of our past. It is sad that none of you take into account that who you are is not who you were.

Surely you no longer exhibit such behaviors.. as you have grown. So why would you ever look back at a lesser version of who you once were and punish yourself... now.. for something you didn't do. Who you are wouldn't commit such acts so why look back on a lesser version of yourself and feel such guilt?

I do not blame myself for my past mistakes. I only seek to grow from them and make weakness into strength.

When will you learn that who you were is not who you are and yet who you were.. shapes who you are. Everything you do is to auto correct behaviors of your childhood. To.. complete you as a person that lives in the now.

The inner child is still part of you and yet you seek to destroy your own selves in such a manner... to die inside. You are sad creatures who don't even understand their own design. Is this what Jesus would do? I think not.

Re: Felling like I shoudn't be loved

True. Every word. But you know why? Cause nobody wants to accept that they were (not are) an abuser. Like you said, the ego feels ashamed. And you dread at the thought that the person you feel you abused is gonna confirm their feelings of the abuse one day. You feel responsible. Although it's not you. And it can not possibly be you. Because like you said. That person is not here anymore. Just the consequences of their actions are. But you bear the burden of them.

Re: Felling like I shoudn't be loved

What wolfie is on about is actually something that really, really annoys me about people in general.

Almost everyone is living either in the past or in a distant future, preparing for something, an idle fantasy. What the hell is so wrong with the present? How can you ever get where you want to go if you don't live in the present? I find such a life sad and pathetic, to always look forward to something by being miserable in the present or beating yourself up over something that happened instead of learning from the experience. You live it again and again and again. It's fine to analyze an experience, to figure out what went wrong, where and why as to not make the same mistakes but to regret it? Should have, could have and would have is meaningless past understanding.

Every experience, positive or negative, makes you a stronger person IF you understand the implications of the experience. This childhood sexual play thing seems popular these days and it seems silly to me. How else WOULD you get to know yourself and your sexuality if you don't experiment? Do some think that we are somehow born with the knowledge to have sex? I mean, yes, pretty much everyone has the sexual drive but the releasing part is what seems to be a taboo, especially in the US, for some odd reason. Here is a shocking revelation; people fuck. Not only themselves but eachother too! Sticking your dick into a hole repeatedly is the basic idea, sure but the only way we learn what gets us off the best is by trying out! You are not ashamed about trying different foods are you? So what if it was your sibling, i bet you anything that unless he/she was forced and screaming for mommy, they enjoyd the experience aswell.

Re: Felling like I shoudn't be loved

Hi Hexi. Ive never posted on her before but have spent a great deal of time browsing through the forums and archives. Fuk i wish more people were like you. What you have said is how i feel. People seem to think (even i did admitedly) that anything sexual is bad. is evil. ...... i meen what a load of complete bull shit that is. the world and the people in it are fukd and i think lets just leave it at that.

Re: Felling like I shoudn't be loved


Sorry for late responding Izzy, but I'm trying to keep myself of the forum as much as I can and didn't want to write even this I am writing now, but I felt bad for you and I see you got really connected on me through this matter. I would never ever usually do this but I think I can trust you so if you want to take our writings somewhere else. I've opened up an email adress that you can send me your email or even link to your facebook account if you have one, and I will add you. And we can chat there. And of course you can trust me on the privacy matter. I plead on any other person reading this not to take advantage of this e-mail and send me stupidities. You can't get any personal data on me through it anyways.


Read into the words of Wolf and Hexi, cause what they are saying COULDN'T BE MORE TRUE. But we are to sick in a way to comprehend this, and they are objective and realistic, older, wiser and pretty much everything. Btw I didn't give you the email adress so we fell sorry for each other and pull ourselves back into the pathetic state. I want to pull us through. It's enough with the pathetic. I say enough.