Every single one of us is capable of doing most dreadful things in certain situations. People who are not capable of admitting this live in a large illusion I'd say. And more then 50 % of people would tell you in this situation to leave him and take the kids. I do agree with the part that you have to protect the children, but I do not believe that he does not deserve a second chance in life. If he was indeed raped, I really don't see how can anyone blame the child for touching anyone. IT WAS A CHILD. I even think his mother can be ashamed of herself for calling police on him instead of calling them when she suspected something was happening to himself. I think it was a bad bad family situation.
He can get another chance from you by my opinion but he needs to prove to you every day that he is indeed worth it. And tell him openly.. straight to the eyes.. "If you ever touch any of the girls, if you ever take piece of their souls in such a way, you will never see us again. And if you feel u have such urges relate to them at time and seek help."
I have no more advice to give you, you will have to wait for the Doc..
Oddly enough, I have. My exact threat was along the lines of "I will put you in jail. I will terminate your parental rights. I have plenty of friends who will step up and claim to be their father if the youngest is too young to remember you, and if one or both of them is, I will tell them you are dead, change their names to something random, destroy any evidence of your name, and basically make it impossible for them to ever try to find you and vice versa. Then I'd pay anyone I'd have to to ensure that everyone in that prison with you knows exactly everything you've ever done."
That was pretty much it. I worry with having left him before and returned, and there's been plenty of times since I almost have again, that he doesn't believe I will... sometimes, I wonder if the financial things aren't "tests," so to speak, to see either if I'll still love him, or worse, how much he can get away with...
The trust is fairly destroyed, and only slowly rebuilding. Therefore, I don't trust my own judgement anymore.
Dr. Robert, do you have an opinion?
I would need more information, and even then might not be able to offer an opinion. But you can try if you like.
By the way, the forum had to close for a time due to an systematic spam attack. I hope this will not recur so that the forum, which many find helpful, useful, or simply entertaining, will be able to remain open to posting.
To the spammers: you must be some sad, empty, pitiful people to be sitting at your computers, which can take you anywhere, using them to vandalize someone else's work instead of using them to be exploring this vast world of information and knowledge, or even creating something worthwhile yourselves.
Adam, I know it is you who arrranged the spam attack, and your particular hypocrisy in pretending to be someone caring and intelligent is totally egregious. Your actions are the behavior of a sad, sick child, not the brilliant man you claim to be. If you have a shred of the intelligence you pretend to have, you will feel shame for your behavior, and I hope you do.