Hexi is matching you.
I have to agree that most of the time, I agree with you comments. Most of the time, your frankness is amazing. BUT you are playing his game and I know that he likes it...but you can't change a person by playing his game. I believe you might have alluded to this before w/my sociopathic question.
He is being honest with you. He doesn't mind your games at all. And it is just festive fun for him and maybe you. BUT for those that don't know this..it is harsh and alienating. I am one person who does understand, as I live it.
There are better ways to skin a cat and chop it up!
People don't change. Unless they want too. And you can not make him feel what he does not. He is aware of his weaknesses I am sure. He also knows his strengthes. From many hours of trying I know that the best you can hope to do is provide motivation to get someone to do the right things by his own inner spirits. We all look for fun. Hexi provides clear, logical opinions that in my mind indicate that he chooses to be a better person than he has to be by nature. If he indicates that he could do something in even the crudest terms, he is just playing with words to entertain you or himself.
There is so much more to a person than just a conscience. Afterall, do not normal people with a conscience hurt people all the time. I have been sideswiped on the highway and no one stops. People steal for a thrill. People date rape all the time. There are people w/consciences and without personality disorders that do the lowest of things...therefore, I would ask for you to consider that maybe a conscience may not be necessary to hold the mind and body in check.
Violence begets violence. And sociopathic responses, particularly in the virtual world, beget sociopathic responses, whether genuine or faked.
Why not talk in real words? You don't have to be one kind sucker of a soul like me to believe that goodness exists in all. There are animals that take in the offspring of other species. And there are humans that may not do the evil thing just for pleasure. Now it is hard to know when a person will crack...that is where good judgement is necessary...
But I assure you, that badgering someone and tempting them with daggarlike words is not the way to motivate anyone. Afterall, do you remember WANTING to clean your room when your mother made you????? Don't be his mother. Be his friend. You two have known each other for a long time now, both of you give good responses to others dilemmas. And from all that I have seen, both of you can be NICE people if you want too.
Choose to be on the same side. There is strength in numbers. And I for one, like Hexi...whether he chooses to work or not, whether he is a nice person all the time or not. I seriously doubt he is in the mood to be a serial killer or a sexual predator. And if he does really want to pursue that occupation, then the best chance you can give him is to recognize him for the person he is and treat him like a respectable human being. If he was so awful, he probably would be in a penitentary by now...so make peace. Smile. And just help each other.
I know I am one chump who wants the world to be a better place. But I am not naive to what the world is really like. It is each small act of kindness that we bestow on others that can change the world at times.
I have been lucky enough to see that. And yes I get burned sometimes. But sometimes I don't...and it is in those moments that I get satisfaction. And if you really want to help someone, then practice listening here. I like you. And I like him. Now put down your swords or choose to fight the same beast.
Jodartha- your buddy.
Toby you said:
For instance, you're convincing yourself that I don't know you or base my assumptions on something I misunderstand, whereas the truth which you refuse to acknowledge is that you're a complete weirdo fuck-up who is dependent on everyone but himself. I think you know it deep down yourself. But don't worry, you're not alone. There are many other weirdos you can connect with.
Is it possible that you are using some transference here? Please forgive me for butting in this conversation but given this is a forum and discussion is open to everyone, I would like to ask why you would say such things to someone you openly admit that you know. I have read many of your posts as well as Hexi's and although I haven't read all of them (because there are many), I have yet to determine that any of you are such awful individuals at this moment. Now of course, I am being feeling and not so objective, I know, but...I am left thinking that perhaps, there is some sort of a comraderie going here too. There maybe some strange nerdyness or lack of sociallife, or perhaps perversions in certain peoples' minds but there is a wholesomeness and honesty here too. Is it not possible that this is a form of self therapy?
Why not be nice or at least tolerant? Is it more enjoyable to tease and torture? Or maybe the game of jabbing each other is satisfying?
Think about what I am saying. I know I am illiciting a nasty response from you. I don't mean to irk you. BUT I like your comments as a whole as I do Hexi's... and these comments just undermine something that is GOOD as a whole. (at least from my standpoint and perhaps Dr. Roberts)
Besides everything else I mentioned below, might I suggest one thing that made a huge difference for me once when I just wouldn't let something go (as you appear unable to do).
I don't formally believe in God, but I did once decide to forgive myself formally. I did it in public (around several hundred people). For years I felt really bad about leaving a marriage. REALLY Bad. I just couldn't let it go, and I felt that I had ruined my chances for a good life. But I forgave myself. And let it go.
And you know what. It worked. I let a burden off my back, and it gave me the energy to look forward. Just consider it. Do whatever you need to do to let yourself look forward, instead of just looking backward.
Hope that helps a bit.
Languages? I can speak 4. :P Martial arts? Not my thing, I used to be a breakdancer though. I'm not burdened by my actions, it's one of the perks of being a sociopath. I have no regrets in my life at all. Even though i've made some bad choices, i don't wallow over them. Also, i'm not apathetic towards life, i just don't really know where to begin.
As an aside, i enjoy fishing. I do it alot at my parents summer house and yes, i'm 25 so i can drink. :)
There was one other thing that I thought might pique your interest. Not sure, but hey as long as I am just writing about me, I want to make a suggestion.
Sometimes people are not interesting. Frankly many are downright boring. And I consider myself a people person:-) They desire things that mean nothing to me, and often they feel justified in treating others in a one up fashion (better car, talk about what they own, stuff as meaningless as baby strollers) and I left thinking why bother getting to know people that are so unlike me...and then I remember what makes life valuable to me. It is my ability to love and care.
Before you jump into thinking that feeling something like that is inferior, place your mind in the perspective that PERHAPS it is this humanness that gives meaning to living at times. It is not often, but rarely, I have found that seeking to understand and relate to another particularly on the level of love, that I am able to gain satisfaction and even a oneness with others. It is not like it happens every day, or even every year, but when it does, the joy that I obtain is worth any moment that I have won.
Now I am a friendly sort, at least it would appear that way on this forum, but in real life, I am quite to myself about what matters to me. And most of the time, I sense that no one understands what motivates me. Maybe I am unique, or abnormal (refering to a previous discussion on what is normal) but I prefer to think that it is this able to communication and meet minds that gives me the most satisfaction. I have known others, that gain that feeling from winning an argument, but to put oneself in a one up position fails to lift the soul (even if you think that sociopaths may not have one) to a level of peacefulness.
Maybe, it is this oneness of all humanity or the ability to relate to another that bring satisfaction. The definition of human is: adj
1. of, characterizing, or relating to man and mankind human nature
2. consisting of people the human race a human chain
3. having the attributes of man as opposed to animals, divine beings, or machines human failings.
Is it not possible that all humans (no matter if they are labeled as ill or void of some personality traits common in others)have commonalities that bring satisfaction and completeness?
I am not sure about all of this, I just postulate. It is this conversation at this moment, that bring the most meaning to my day. It is this attempt to relate that satisfies my mind. Therefore, I believe that it could be this moment is when I am really living.
It is just a thought. Leave a way that you can be reached Hexi. Thx.
Very insightful, if i was an angry and confused teen, which i am not. In the last couple of days, i've gotten in touch with some old friends and started to go out, it's been refreshing. I wish people really would post new threads and participated more, it's been quite dead here. Oh well.
I don't see how this applies particularly to an angry or confused teen...I am not one. It was just an observation that has worked for me.
Getting out is good. I did today, even with a long day at work to come. Given I do not exist in a socialist country, work is necessary for what I need. Can you be reached?
Well i used to work, i have a degree in electric engineering but it's such boring work :P I'm not a materialistic person and living in a 1 bedroom apartpent is enough for me heh so i don't really have any incentive to work. No loans or family to feed :)