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Re: seeking the Catalyst

You are right. Thanks. And this forum is all that it proposes.

Re: seeking the Catalyst

Do I have a facination w/sociopathy? Can you be sure of that? Or do I have a facination with the person that in fact has lived with me for the past 1.5 years and challenged me in ways that I have found difficult to cope with.

I thought at first that I just would back down to your replies, as I have done on the many occasions that I have had this young man in my life do similar things. But no I will not.

It is quite possible that I have issues, it is possible that I am autistic and need burned. Quote from my adopted son, " are you xxxxxxx stupid or autistic?". The fact is that I have been burned. And I did opt to try to understand this kid one last time, because unlike his parents and others in his life, I have chosen NOT to walk away and actually SEEK to do the right thing whatever that may be.

Now some of the replies on this thread have given me good reason to proceed with caution. And perhaps I do know that I tread on dangerous ground, but I was under the impression that the purpose of this forum was to gain knowledge and discuss psychological and philosophical issues as they become relevant.

Are you Toby saying that I have no right to proceed in knowing and sharing with a person that probably has significant issues that may or may not be sociopathic in nature. It is not an obsession w/the disorder as much as seeking to understand the beast that I share my life with.

A young man with issues with lying, trust, disliking people in general, treating people like dispensible objects, and abusive behaviors obviously has some issues to deal with not including the law. I can't begin to change these things. But, as a parent, which it seems to me you are not, there is a certain love and extension of caring that I extend. I find it much easier to turn my head and let him end up in prison or lets say physically abuse his girlfriend, like his parents obviously let him do. I choose not too.

As for my issues, well obviously I must have some. I do not deny that. But I do choose to reveal and discuss any topics that present themselves in this forum. Including your insults.

I do not ask that you be kind or accomodating, just that you consider engaging me in meaningful discussion as others have. Resorting to putting down others, rather than using insight (which I believe that you may possess to some degree if you choose this forum to communicate), is not my favorite way to communicate.

I agree that I can not confirm any diagnosis of any individual. I do not try. I asked for assistance. And honestly that is what I have obtained to date.

So thank you for your input, again. It reminds me that there are those that aren't nuturers. And honestly I don't consider that side of myself a bad thing. Afterall, one day you will find yourself in the hospital sick for some reason...and I am not so sure that you would like someone like yourself taking care of you while you are ill.

I am not so bad. It takes all types. And I appreciate your directness.

Re: seeking the Catalyst


I believe that you are out of your depth in this situation. Let me tell you a story:

The scorpion said to the frog, "I want to cross the river, but I cannot swim. Please let me ride on your back while you swim to the other side."

"No way," said the frog. "If I let you get that close to me, you will sting me."

"That would be crazy," said the scorpion. "If I were to sting you while we were crossing, we would both drown."

The frog considered this argument, concluded that it made sense, and agreed to carry the scorpion across on his back. Halfway across the river, the scorpion unleashed his stinger upon the frog, and the frog began dying. "How could you do this," he cried. "Now we are both dead, and you promised you wouldn't."

"Well," replied the scorpion. "That's just my nature."

Hexi has given you some useful information, but you seem ill-disposed towards making any use of it. You would rather, it seems, go on talking about this matter as if any words could change the facts of the strange household you are hosting. You seem determined to do almost anything but make use of Hexi's honest and accurate reply to your questions. You seem to imagine that more words will somehow show you a way to deal with this boy in a "positive" way, and so help him across the river.

What you are calling "love" (what a slippery word that is), means nothing at all to a scorpion except that "love" provides a powerful lever he or she can use to manipulate and control. Such "love" is only a joke to someone who doesn't feel it, doesn't need it, and doesn't want it.

It is only a question of time until you learn this first-hand, but during that time a lot of damage can be done. A word to the wise is sufficient.

To Hexi, Dr. Robert, Dragontongue and Toby

Dr. Robert and Hexi and others

I do not underestimate the value of Hexi. I just got on a tangent on my own issues. I play with fire. I have been burned, and I know the extent of the potential damage.

I will not ignor any of the wisdom I have received, I just remained open to hearing everyone, because I do value input. While I was visiting this site, I also enjoyed getting to know everyone in what little way that i could.

I like this site, and enjoy everyone's comments and thoughts. I have been told that I can be misunderstood. Perhaps I am now.

Thank you all for your thoughts. This thread is over. And my adopted son will be out of my immediate life at some point. Afterall, my resources are limited and he knows that.

I hope you don't mind if i follow this forum, frankly I have enjoyed it.

Re: seeking the Catalyst

Also, yes there are two "toby's", the other one being someone who is trying to soil my name. You should just quit replying altogether, that guy is here for attention.

Soil your name? I've been here since the start.

Funny that this whole thing started when I wounded WhiteWolf's ego.

Of course, that's always how it starts.

Re: seeking the Catalyst


Welcome to the forum. Enjoy it.

Be well.