lastly, the only things that generate in me "hard emotions" are movies, music, and my dreams.

When i watch a movie, i get into the role of the protagonist so deep to analyze each detail, that gets me a little emotional. Last night i went to saw inception, a great movie that talks about 2 of my favorite subjects: con artists, and dreams. i got too much into the movie that i got a little dizzy, i felt the hamster running on my brain faster ;D

At the end i went to a party with my friends, and i started to feel empty, very nihilistic. i started to question my methods, my stuff, my things, and started to think like, so diego, what do you have worth for living? a house? some money in my pocket? some girl you are talking to? and whats next? the more i was thinking it, the more empty i felt. Of course, in the outside i was laughing, appearing to have a good time, and a good vibe, hiding my emotions. But inside i was having an internal conversation with myself, going deep down.

today i woke up, and im feeling again, awesome. i started a new plan for work, and i have wishes of living my live to the fullest. but yesterday i remember considering just not living anymore. Of course i wouldn't suicide, i knew i was controlled by my emotions in that moment, and.. it was addictive, even if i knew that i could change my mood in 15 minutes just stopping thinking about it, and making something fun, i decided to keep thinking about my life.

hard emotions can be a bad thing. when you are in love, you take wrong decisions, taking them from your heart instead of your guts. When you are sad, you start to make rationalizations on why everything is bad, being negative about stuff.

Still wrestling with this, eh Diego?

yes, i guess i will be dealing with it every once in a while :D

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