Thanks for the reply, Hexi. I am not too sure about the narcissism-psychopath continuum myself theory myself, and I don't think the doc is totally buying it either. He just seems always to want to maintain an open mind and I guess saw the letter from Christian as a bit of evidence for the theory, which I think comes from James Masterson, that psychopathy is a kind of particularly malignant narcissism. Masterson also said that psychopaths detach affect (feeling) from the object (another person) in order to deal with the fear of abandonment or engulfment. Does that fit, Hexi?
But i don't experience fear, apart from my 1 phobia so how would that make any sense? Also, i've never been abandoned, or maybe i have but atleast i don't recognize any event in my life as such. Maybe i'm denying such an event and feelings to feed my narcissism by telling myself no one would abandon me? Ahh speculation is so fun. Seriously though, i don't believe in that theory and i think the person suggesting it is missing a point somewhere.
I believe that when you get schoked your unconscious can't handle the situation and as such needs to adjust to the new reality. I've never been in shock though so i don't understand the sensation at all.
well the statement you said, i completely relate to. because most people really are sheep, you are not the only one to feel this way, just society doesnt like us saying mean things about others, so they get mad/ or shame us, instead for having a big ego maybe saying it is a result of low self esteem... etc.. who knows maybe it is?
but i think it really is just the truth, some people are brighter than others and how can they help but know it? people shouldn't be made to feel guilty about it, but showing it off is not really tasteful...hence the conundrum sigh! lol
and you are right, most DO NOT enjoy hours of introspection and research and learning and paradoxicaly enough ( sorry forget how to spell it at the moment i know socios really enjoy to pick on people's grammar as though it is an indication of someone's intelligence! again i think this has to do with making yourself look smart on the outside at all costs, even if the contents is a void...lol they are more transparent than they think)
paradox is - the society we live in that these sheep cater too, is a one that encourages narcissism.
i can't stand ass kissers or fake people, and ESPECIALLY people that think they are brighter than they are, or like when a not so attractive overweight guy thinks he has a chance with a supermodel hot, fit girl - this irritates me big time- i essentially told off my overweight cousin- like 10's date 10's , and 5's date 5's ...but is going to start working out? hell no, yet the girl paints her toe nails everyday and works out 4 times a week! seems arrogant of him to go for her and not someone lazier like himself! and why is it touchy at all to bring it up? i cant stand PC - sorry for diverting i could rant forever lol
Like you my ego looms large- but at the same time,and I wonder if this is a good thing, or if it is possible to change say through meditation. I can go to dizzying humility say if I am in the presence of my old tibetan rimpoche ( im a semi- budhist, i follow my own way which is the budha way)
or I definitely defer to another's wisdom and can be humbled by it, and i do love the feeling of being humbled- i guess it is safe, like you can see the parent in that person, and you become the child.
anyway there are some but not many that do invoke my humility ..but they are far and few between, they do however inspire me to work harder, and think better...i know the ego is not helpful in that it creates the rage I succumb to on a regular basis- ie. how dare the stores clerk be ****** towards me? and I waste my time telling her off just to elevate myself and teach her a lesson....
sorry for rambeling, I guess maybe the question you pose is a classic one, and honest one. But I don't think it is the best question you could be asking yourself.
Why don't you ask yourself- what use is there for this big ego? does it really make me happy? it may get me x, and that will get me x, but once you accumulate everything then what? how do you know you aren't buying in to the same dream the people with the sheep mentality are not buying into, the cars, the houses, the soap opera drama....
I wonder why you even want to know? i mean if you learn that having a huge ego is not beneficial towards your happiness would you even bother to change anyway?
what is fun about learning if you don't apply it to your life?
sounds like a tedious chore!
furthermore, who knows if this is really a sliding scale - narcissist on lower end and socios, the psychopaths on highest end. Maybe narcissists use the big ego to protect themselves as a shield from pain. maybe sociopaths don't need this mechanism as much, as they are so dissacociated from their own emotions at this point- whereas narcissist i have heard feel their own emotions..
I never heard of this idea that the sociopathic brain is structured like the unconscious brain= would love to reaad up on this, could you direct me to a good article, research or book? thanks.
as for labels- obviously the labels are just labeling a group of symptoms, and they don't just do that with psychopaths either...
but we OBVIOUSLY need them- because that is what we want to treat is the symptoms, how they got that way isn't necessarily so important...
when i was depressed i could give you a thousand reasons why, maybe it was the reasons, maybe not, but I was suffering and so medication alleviated my symptoms so I could go on and lead a productive life.
besides it is very naive to think we don't use labels on a daily basis. if you don't then you must be the most PC sociopath on the planet lol!
labels are fine, we have been classifying things, plants and people, etc.. since humans could think! black, white, blue green- labels, how would you paint your house without the right label??
the idea I think is simply not to judge someone based on a label- as I agree with what the doctor said about how we just arise as we arise, so judging doesn't serve any purpose, but solving the problem in the case of personality disorders is the purpose.
treatment is label specific, but even then a good doctor should not get caught up in the label, must think outside the box so to speak...