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Re: basic human interaction

Hexi
unknown




The consequences affect me, but only because I choose to assign them some significance. They don't cause guilt or regret or any other "normal" emotion. It's just a habit of mine to punish myself for ******* with people, I suppose.




So because you think you should feel guilt you've conditioned yourself to beat yourself up for certain actions? Why? To better identify what you should feel guilty about in order to fake it more convincingly?


Initially, probably, yes. I don't know. Part of it is probably me testing the whole karma theory, but, honestly, it's more likely I'm annoyed with myself for failing to follow the rule. Part of it is avoiding the responsibility of influence. Unless I know I'm making a positive influence, I usually avoid it. And part of it is that even though I can't feel it, I can logically see that there's no benefit to it, and as you know, if there is no benefit, there's no purpose, so why bother. reason, reason, reason - heh

Re: basic human interaction

Hexi
I was at my friends place, to start off, then we headed to the local pub to see friends, then we hitted the clubs and i realised that i'm very disconnected from people, on a basic level. I saw what drove them, where the actions were headed and the intent of it but it was truly like looking out from a glass box, terrifying yet so interesting. I instigated a fight between my step-brother and some annoying asshat and it was fascinating! Mind you, it's fun to watch my step-brother go. He isn't very tall (bit taller than i am) so people always like "Piss off shrimp before i hurt you" but he's been doing MMA for 10 years and he just destroyed this dude twice his size, it was hilarious.

So umm... yeah, this is my imput into human interaction and a realisation that i need to do it more, not to play with people but just watch the hilarity that ensues from a slight nudge.


Like gravity... madness just takes a little push.

Website: www.myspace.com/zwhitewolf

Re: basic human interaction

Whitewolf
I embrace Zen. Or rather I live without certain expectations.


Good that you realized you don't embrace Zen. I doubt you really know what that is. You seem to lack the patience to embrace the moment outside the moment.

What expectations do you live without? This is a real question, out of genuine curiosity.

It's important to use people? Using people gives your life meaning?

Using people nauseates me. Vomit holds no meaning for me. So this philosophy would not work in my life ;)

You seem very ego-centric. I could and should have been that way, I suppose, given my personal mental health, but I carefully, methodically, and completely learned not to use people.

What do the people you use get out of the bargain? Do you reciprocate and allow them to use you in return?

If I'm reading through the lines here, you use people with impunity and have no expectations that they will do anything you want them to do because they're all rather small and insignificant and put here to do your bidding, anyhow? Being in their presence from time to time is reward enough for their service?

Re: basic human interaction

Ahh wolfie, you're not stupid enough to seriously make those assumptions. Why are you trying to bait me anyways? Yes, i'm a guy by the way.

EDIT: I think you would pronounce my name as yah-ne or something. The way we pronounce words is very different so don't strain your mind or anything :P

Re: basic human interaction

Actually, i'm bored so i'll pick apart your post.


Whitewolf

Your brother. Really?! Thats your excuse for a social outlet? Why don't you consult the family dog while you're at it. Or I have this magic 8 ball you could use. "60% of the time... It's right every time." :-p


You know i only meant it to say that i don't sit alone at home all day but you intentionally took it in a way that would suggest that *i* think it's socializing.

Whitewolf

How many days does it take a Fin person to get off their butt, go out to the local -insert social event- and socialize? Do you not care what others think of how you appear? Are you selfconscience? I know I look good to others in public. People enjoy my company. I seem genuine and to some degree am. I've built these great friendships that serve to enhance my existance.


I have no national pride, so thats a miss. Also, i'm not going to boast how i'm good looking, social, etc as it's pointless but you try anyway.

Whitewolf

How much should I try to make you bleed before you bite anyway? Are you direct or confrontational? Are you implosive? (I love those people)


You know you can't affect me so you post as if you already did in order to get me to defend myself by rejecting it. You know i'm direct.

Whitewolf

Tell me of your IRL social skills. Being antisocial isn't a healthy lifestyle. It's important to use people. Gives meaning to their lives.


You already assessd my social skills, yet you ask in order to taunt me then you try to get me to agree that using people is great.

Re: basic human interaction

I find people fascinating initially when I meet them, but I have no desire to know them once I can predict their behavior accurately. Since I only enjoy them when they amuse me it seems wrong to waste their time and energy developing what they think is a relationship with me.

I have human contact daily. I'm married. I have a husband and children. I have a healthy sex life. I have a very real relationship with my husband built on trust. I trust him implicitly. I guess I just don't see the point in having a relationship that will pale in comparison with anyone else. That one is enough for me.

Video games. Heh. Funny thing ... I've conquered a few virtual realms. I never thought of it as a social thing, though. I certainly interacted with hundreds of people, but it was never a social event to me.

I know part of it is that I don't trust myself. People tend to do what I want them to do. I can't stand not knowing whether they did something because they wanted to do it or because I caused them to do it. One of my rules for me (not that I have a list anywhere or anything) is not to influence people without being asked to do so.

Re: basic human interaction

Whitewolf
The better your social skills.. the more likely you can get your way in life.


Is getting your way a good thing?

Re: basic human interaction

Is getting your way a good thing?

I suppose it depends on your way. I would say "it's definitely a good thing for you", but sometimes you want things that aren't any good for you.... I don't know what it would do to other people if you got your way all the time. I guess that would vary, too.

Re: basic human interaction

I don't get my way as much as I accept the way things happen. If I don't like the way some thing happens, I either avoid that thing or I change some thing to make it happen a way I like (change me, the thing, another person, whatever). But, when I say "I don't like," it is a thing that is of monumental importance or a thing that adversely impacts my life or my family's lives. Any lesser thing, I would not like or dislike. I would watch it play it out. If I consciously desire something to happen, it will happen, but I rarely desire a thing to be. I'm not entirely sure I actually have a way to get.

Re: basic human interaction

unknown
I don't get my way as much as I accept the way things happen. If I don't like the way some thing happens, I either avoid that thing or I change some thing to make it happen a way I like (change me, the thing, another person, whatever). But, when I say "I don't like," it is a thing that is of monumental importance or a thing that adversely impacts my life or my family's lives. Any lesser thing, I would not like or dislike. I would watch it play it out. If I consciously desire something to happen, it will happen, but I rarely desire a thing to be. I'm not entirely sure I actually have a way to get.

Wow. That's wild. You sound like water; it flows around things, but also has surprising force at times. :)

Re: basic human interaction

Dragontongue

Wow. That's wild. You sound like water; it flows around things, but also has surprising force at times. :)


LOL that made me smile. It comes with being a mother, I suspect. ;)

I've not always been calm. At times in my life I've been a whirlwind of destruction. Live and learn.

Re: basic human interaction

Dragontongue
Is getting your way a good thing?


I suppose it depends on your way. I would say "it's definitely a good thing for you", but sometimes you want things that aren't any good for you.... I don't know what it would do to other people if you got your way all the time. I guess that would vary, too.


Are you a teenage girl? (You do not have to answer that - I am just curious because I don't like to guess a thing and be wrong).

If so, I'm glad you thought about my question, and I like your answer. Thank you.

Re: basic human interaction

Are you a teenage girl?

Now, how did you guess that?

If so, I'm glad you thought about my question, and I like your answer. Thank you.

:) Would you not be glad if I were not a teenage girl?

Re: basic human interaction

Dragontongue

Now, how did you guess that?


Your posts feel young, full of curiosity, and though quickly thought up still carefully considered. I like the feeling I get when I read them because I imagine a bright child stretching her mental wings, and that is a joyous thing to behold.

Dragontongue
:) Would you not be glad if I were not a teenage girl?


I would not be anything but bored then. *shrug*

Re: basic human interaction

Your posts feel young, full of curiosity, and though quickly thought up still carefully considered. I like the feeling I get when I read them because I imagine a bright child stretching her mental wings, and that is a joyous thing to behold.

Aw. I think that's the best compliment I've ever gotten online! Thank you. :)

I would not be anything but bored then. *shrug*

*laugh*

Re: basic human interaction

Now i'm curious. Analyze me, please. You seem like you might actually get something right. I'll be honest in my response. (sorry for "borrowing" this thread, i don't want to make a new one just to ask something like this).

Re: basic human interaction

Face to face, I would nail you in a few minutes, but in text it's difficult for obvious reasons. Some people write honestly, as in as they think.

You strike me as intelligent, mature for your age when you want to be, and angry. I think you see your self as other rather than alter and it ****** you off.

Re: basic human interaction

Hmmm, i don't consider myself as angry. The apparent hostility in my posts is most likely due to not considering how what i say comes across, i'm like that in the real world too. I really need to work on that. Maturity came out of nescessity, i wasn't really allowed to be a child and i don't really know where you got the last part from. Maybe i need to add more smileys and stuff to express my mood? :) Anyways, thanks for the observations. Gave me something to think about.

Re: basic human interaction

What do I know, eh?

Conjecturing based on my own life - I grew up fast, too. I wasn't aware that I was angry about that until I was much older than you are now. Maybe I'm reading that in based on my experiences filter, or maybe it's just coming through from you. It's harder to gauge you in a purely textual environment than it is some others. It's probably harder to size you up in person than some others, too ,for that matter.

Due to the peculiar nature of my biological father, I learned, like most children with that sort of parent, to read people very well. It's not a parlor trick or psychic ability or whatever - just a survival skill.

Re: basic human interaction

Have you ever come across some one that was able to equally size you up? If so, what was your reaction to them? Do you avoid them?

Re: basic human interaction

karma
Have you ever come across some one that was able to equally size you up? If so, what was your reaction to them? Do you avoid them?


My husband, whom I've known since I was 15, and my brother's best friend from elementary school, whom I've known since I was around 12, are capable of seeing me. Incidentally, my brother and I are psychologically VERY similar. Or were, twenty years ago, more accurately. My husband and my brother's friend are also VERY similar psychologically speaking.

I positively delight in their company.

No one else has ever read me accurately. It would be quite an impossible trick for most people. I am never me but rather who you think I should be. Not because that is what I want to be, but it is because it is all I know to be. I haven't the first ******* clue who I am.

Re: basic human interaction

I appreciate your honesty. You have certainly given me food for thought. I loved the happiness is clarity answer. Maybe all of us have no clue who we really are. All of it is discovery.

Is it because your husband can see "you" and can accept you for the way that you are inside and out, and his exeptance no matter what is'nt that love in its purest form? Unconditional.

Your brothers best friend is he psychologically similar too?

Re: basic human interaction

karma
I appreciate your honesty. You have certainly given me food for thought. I loved the happiness is clarity answer. Maybe all of us have no clue who we really are. All of it is discovery.
I certainly hope so! With nothing to discover, life would be pointless.



karma
Is it because your husband can see "you" and can accept you for the way that you are inside and out, and his exeptance no matter what is'nt that love in its purest form? Unconditional.

Yes. Exactly.



karma
Your brothers best friend is he psychologically similar too?


Yes, quite.

Re: basic human interaction

unknown

No one else has ever read me accurately. It would be quite an impossible trick for most people. I am never me but rather who you think I should be. Not because that is what I want to be, but it is because it is all I know to be. I haven't the first ******* clue who I am.


Deep down you are a blank slate that emulates behaviour that you've seen. Personality traits that others appreciate. You can see things from every perpestive of the egos that you use. It's like multiple personality disorder with the ability to freely use and switch between them and learn new ones. At the end of it all though, there really isn't much of a personality, just fragments.

This is probably just projection though.

Re: basic human interaction

Hexi
unknown


No one else has ever read me accurately. It would be quite an impossible trick for most people. I am never me but rather who you think I should be. Not because that is what I want to be, but it is because it is all I know to be. I haven't the first ******* clue who I am.



Deep down you are a blank slate that emulates behaviour that you've seen. Personality traits that others appreciate. You can see things from every perpestive of the egos that you use. It's like multiple personality disorder with the ability to freely use and switch between them and learn new ones. At the end of it all though, there really isn't much of a personality, just fragments.



This is probably just projection though.


I do not think this is projection. You have done me a real service - thank you. I see something new for me.

If only you could tell me what to do with these fragments to assemble a personality of my own!

Re: basic human interaction

unknown

If only you could tell me what to do with these fragments to assemble a personality of my own!


But that IS your personality, fluent, adaptive and ever changing. There is no set personality, that was what i was trying to convey. Is there something wrong with that? Do you need a constant to function? Personally, i'm fine with it, perhaps i wont be later in life but it's just my opinion. :)

Also, the link you provided contained the same philosophical thinking i've done myself. If it came across as if i was trying to "argue", i apologize as it was not my intent. I was trying to explain how i saw it.

Oh, and Karma. Ofcourse not, how do you think uknown would operate in the world if others saw her as a empty shell, void of human traits? It's a learned behaviour, deep in the subconscious.

Re: basic human interaction

Hexi
Also, the link you provided contained the same philosophical thinking i've done myself. If it came across as if i was trying to "argue", i apologize as it was not my intent. I was trying to explain how i saw it.


You did not come across as argumentative.

Oh, and, I linked it for no other reason than I thought you might find it interesting. I did.

Here is what I think. You and I are very like minded. But we are like opposite sides of the same coin. I look for the good in things first and am sometimes blind-sided by the bad in things, at great pain and shock to my psyche, I might add. You look for the bad things first to protect yourself but miss or reject the good in things. I am not quite an optimist - a positive minded realist is better. You are not quite a pessimist - a pragmatic realist is better. Knowing I am likely to get screwed, I still let the other person make the choice to do so or not. Knowing you will get screwed, you strike first. Well not entirely, obviously. I mean I don't go near people for a reason, after all, and I don't mean to suggest you run around with a chip on your shoulder. What I mean to say is that I think you and I are cut from the same cloth but stitched into different clothes. (and this is an awful lot of conjecture)

Do you like to make people squirm? (This is a yes/no question - a curiosity - no elaboration)

Re: basic human interaction

You are quite right except that i do aknowledge the good in things, but i just don't appreciate it perhaps in the same way you do. As to your question, yes.

Re: basic human interaction

Hexi
You are quite right except that i do aknowledge the good in things, but i just don't appreciate it perhaps in the same way you do.


Back to my earlier assessment, then. This difference is what I perceive to be anger in you. Maybe it is; maybe it isn't. At any rate, I can relax now. I got you. hee hee (just playin' around)

Re: basic human interaction

Hexi

But that IS your personality, fluent, adaptive and ever changing. There is no set personality, that was what i was trying to convey. Is there something wrong with that? Do you need a constant to function? Personally, i'm fine with it, perhaps i wont be later in life but it's just my opinion. :)


*thinking*

I don't know if there's anything wrong with that or not. I never considered it. I thought I was supposed to have a me. I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to have a me. >.>

Do I need a constant to function?

I can't answer. I'm stumped. What is functioning?

*thinking*

Re: basic human interaction

Somehow I don't want to believe that is true. That would make you an empty shell. None of you come across that way to me.

Re: basic human interaction

karma
Somehow I don't want to believe that is true. That would make you an empty shell. None of you come across that way to me.


I am smart enough to conceptualize and verbalize some very esoteric things.

There are many people who describe me as an old soul (whatever the hell that is) and more than a handful who think I'm highly empathic. All of that is ridiculous. I am just perceptive. Nothing more.

I see patterns - whether it's in a differential equation or in human behavior. That is just what I do.

As Hexi says quite rightly, (neither he nor) I would come across that way to anyone.

Unfortunately, just because I see the pattern and can mimic it does not mean I can feel it. To feel, I must work hard to internalize the pattern and, much like a martial art, develop a "muscle memory" that becomes so routine it is ingrained.

And, I think, too, in light of today's new perspective, I'm not an empty shell. There is a bit of confetti there in the bottom of the shell. ;)

Re: basic human interaction

An old soul, I have been told that myself a time or two. Meaning inner wisdom I think.

Even confetti in the beginning began as a whole. Maybe if Hexi is right and this is like a multiple personality disorder maybe this confetti is just a slice of each of these personalities. I'd like to think so.

Sorry for the delay in replies. I do chores in between replies. I'm a bit of a neat freak. I'm a stay at home and everyday there seems to be more and more to do.

Re: basic human interaction

karma
An old soul, I have been told that myself a time or two. Meaning inner wisdom I think.



Even confetti in the beginning began as a whole. Maybe if Hexi is right and this is like a multiple personality disorder maybe this confetti is just a slice of each of these personalities. I'd like to think so.



Sorry for the delay in replies. I do chores in between replies. I'm a bit of a neat freak. I'm a stay at home and everyday there seems to be more and more to do.


I understand chores, all to well - HA! I can't stand clutter.

I don't want many personalities. I just want the one I'm supposed to have. (she says and stomps her foot like a petulant child)

Re: basic human interaction

Can't stand clutter either. Sadly everyone around me seems to like it. Grrr

Isn't this the place you have all been able to be yourselves. I don't see anything, but honesty.

Re: basic human interaction

karma
Can't stand clutter either. Sadly everyone around me seems to like it. Grrr



Isn't this the place you have all been able to be yourselves. I don't see anything, but honesty.


I've always felt that it is a great cosmic joke that my soul mate is a pig. I don't know if I'm supposed to learn to relax or he's supposed to learn to tidy up. haha

There is some real honesty here, but there is a lot that is hidden and rather a large bit of crap sprinkled in here and there. I think that one real discovery is worth however much crap one must wade through, though, so it's all good.

Re: basic human interaction

unknown
Is there some minimum level of physical human interaction one needs for proper health?


Not in my experience. Health, like so many other human ideals, is in the eye of the beholder.

My family is concerned. I think I'm fine. Who's right? (I know that's not a right or wrong kind of question.)


You said it. You are. And so are they. But since we're talking to and about you, I'm sticking with you. ;-)

I'm curious. How much time do you spend in the presence of other humans?


I go to work. I go to church. I hang out with friends. I travel. Usually I'm ok with everyone around me. Especially these days.