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Re: I've been wondering something recently...

Toby
Being kind or nice to someone you 'hate', does that constitute pretending to like them?

I wonder. People are usually kind and nice to the people they like. So if someone is being kind or nice to you, the odds that they like you are certainly higher.... How could you tell whether someone was being nice to you because they liked you or if it was for some other reason?

Re: I've been wondering something recently...

How could you tell whether someone was being nice to you because they liked you or if it was for some other reason?


I suppose you can't, well, not really. That's how lots of people allow themselves to be conned, deceived.

Re: I've been wondering something recently...

Toby
I suppose you can't, well, not really. That's how lots of people allow themselves to be conned, deceived.

If you can't tell the difference, I think most people would assume that the one being nice to them liked them, since that's the most pleasant thing to believe. And if you know that the person you're being nice to is going to take it that way, then aren't you lying?

Re: I've been wondering something recently...

then aren't you lying?


Not really, for me.
There are people who don't like me (I know unbelievable!) but I am still nice to them, I still 'like' them.

The people who I don't really like I still treat well, but if they were to ask me straight out - "Do you like me?" I would have to say - No, not really, in the politest way possible of course. :D

Re: I've been wondering something recently...

Dragontongue

If you can't tell the difference, I think most people would assume that the one being nice to them liked them, since that's the most pleasant thing to believe. And if you know that the person you're being nice to is going to take it that way, then aren't you lying?


The nearest I can figure, it rather depends on your intent in maintaining polite interaction.

I am typically easy-going, polite, and friendly. Well, more accurately, people would typically describe me as being that way. I treat everyone that way as a matter of conscious choice. I have no responsibility for their interpretation of my behavior, do I? Therefore, I'm not being deceptive because I am just being me.

On the other hand, if I were to butter someone up by behaving more friendly than is typical in order to achieve some purpose, then I'm practicing a shameful deception.

All of which doesn't answer your question, exactly. I'm not very good at situational ethics.

Love your enemies is practical advise on an esoteric level. After all, if you are kind to someone who dislikes you, he or she may change his or her mind about not liking you. If you are true to your consciously good nature, you will not have reason to feel guilty over your actions. And so on.

I have known many people, whom I could not stand, who thought I positively adored them. Is it my responsibility to correct them? Would it hurt them to know they are wrong?

By pretend to like someone, do you mean actually indicating (unequivocally) that you do like them or do you mean behaving civilly and politely. I should think that makes all the difference to your answer.

I really can't actually answer this question because if there is one thing that genuinely confuses me it's situational ethics. I tend to follow black and white rules.

Re: I've been wondering something recently...

Thanks for the input, everybody! You gave me a lot to think about! :)

Sorry for the late response, btw--my sister wanted her laptop back. (She's such a good sibling, letting me use it as much as she does!)