What is your story?

Why are you around. What is your purpose.. Whatever.

What is my story? Hmmm. Good question. I don’t have one I believe in much anymore. Life in the present moment is looking too good to me right now to obsess over stories of the past or future.

Why am I around? I followed Daniel Birdick here from Stevepavlina.com and decided to stick around. It feels good helping people where I can. Granted, it isn't much, but it's something.

What is my purpose? My purpose is to answer your questions. I have. I love fulfilling my purpose!

You got a story you want to share Whitewolf? I'd love to hear it.

Stories of the future...

So you won't answer my questions, even vague questions, but yet your purpose is to answer my questions.

Let's talk about you.

How you have come to be who you are and where you gathered your moral beliefs or whatever.

Don't be afraid or defensive. I validate parking.

I did answer your questions. I answered them precisely how I intended to. You might be under the impression that personal history comprises the most pertinent information about an individual in a context like this. I used to think that too. I don’t anymore. I was being literal when I said I no longer believe in stories of the past or future, stories that are supposed to tell me who I am. So again, in this context, I feel no need or desire to tell them here. Unless…

Unless doing so might be of help to you or anyone else here. If that’s the case, I’ll share specific stories, depending on what’s being discussed and what’s needed.

How I came to my current “whatever”… Lots of searching, lots of trial, error, false starts and false finishes and finally relief at discovering who I am.

:-)

You talk in circles and the whole time you say nothing interesting.

I think you are fake and everything you say is the conclusion of a mental breakdown.

Ironically enough Whitewolf, I was speaking the literal truth. And by literal, I mean literal. But I can see how you might come to the above conclusions. I could really bake your noodle if I kept talking about reality as I see it. From your point of view however, it would sound like so much gibberish so I won’t go there.

Also, I assumed you were playing some sort of game to amuse yourself and that you weren’t actually interested in hearing clear answers to your questions. After all, you call yourself a psychopath. But I could be completely wrong. If I am, I apologize.

I stand by the offer I made to you before. Should you ever actually want my help on this board, I will gladly give it to you.

So let's hear this reality as you see it.

We've danced around your feelings long enough. I'm not trying to destroy you either.

Ok. Everything is an expression of that which is No-thing. It’s all One, and not even that is ultimately true. Reality is God and God is Reality. All that appears within Consciousness (not a personal consciousness, but the clear space that is Consciousness) is Consciousness. All things flow from Consciousness, as Consciousness, and returns to Consciousness at the end of its seemingly separate existence.

The personal, the individual ego is but the reflection of its Source. It’s a part of the game of Life for the egoic mind to believe itself to be its own source. Believing itself to be its own source but knowing on a deeper level that it is not, the egoic mind constantly seeks external agreement with its individual thoughts about how the world should look and how other people should live. Always. It looks to the world to anchor itself as truth, and never quite finds it. It spends its days resisting what is as a result. This “mistaken” belief (ultimately there are no mistakes), this resistance to what is, is how the drama of human existence is born and sustained. It finds other egoic minds to superficially agree with it and calls this mutual m~sturb~tion love. When the agreement ends, or is even threatened, the “relationship” ends.

I have come to recently see my own resistance to what is as ripples on a sea of tranquility. The emotional resistance is easily transmuted into joy, bubbles of joy, pockets of it. I am very, very grateful. After years of searching, I found what I sought. But even that isn’t true, because there was never a me to begin with and no-thing to find, only a reality to see Itself as Itself. It’s that whole gateless gate thing. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful!

I didn’t want to immediately say all of the above because it isn’t something to believe, something to debate. It’s something you see or don’t. And that’s fine. It’s all good. Literally!



We have? Huh. I didn’t even get the invitation!



That’s good to hear. I know when I used to believe that I wanted to destroy someone else that it felt pretty… well.. destructive, on the inside of myself. But then again, since you say you are a psychopath, you might have no such “problem”.

What I want to know is why the name Ecce Homo? Big fan of Pontius Pilate? Or just sounds cool?
Don't know if you know but it means "Behold The Man!" in the translations. :-)

Toby:

LOL! Yeah, I knew that. That's exactly why I chose it. Fun, right?

Yes, Fun... :-)
I should of thought of a better name like for myself on here, like super-ultra-mega something.
Because Whitewolf misspelled "Ecce Homo" as "Ecce Homo" I had a look to see if it meant anything and it means "here you are!".
"Here you are Homo!"? :-)
I'm so easily amused.

Ecco, do you always post such drivel? It's like dredging through a boring lecture every time you post.

And yet you dredge Hexi. Fascinating…

In any event, I invite you to ignore what doesn’t resonate with you. Or not. As a matter of fact, if it helps, I also invite you to feel free to continue airing your opinion of these comments. I apparently need it. Thank you Hexi! :-)

Good catch Toby! I didn't know about the other possible meaning.

Ignore Hexi, he's got nothing intelligent to say so decides to mock someone who does, I think he gets stuck on some on the big words.
I just can't believe how it doesn't p--s you of.
and thanks. :-)

But see, for me criticism is a brilliant teacher, especially if any defensiveness rises up in me. Defensive feelings are my cue to take a look inside. Although I didn’t feel defensive in this case, I did feel excitement. Hexi, Whitewolf… it’s all good. Wonderfully so. If I ignore Hexi and anyone else who wants to tear into me, I miss out on a potential blessing.

Or to put it another way, Jesus himself advocates loving one’s enemies. Although I don’t have any enemies, I can certainly understand and appreciate the insight that underlies this particular teaching.

You believe that we are all parts of the whole. A single entity, god if you will and you've found harmony within the whole.

You don't need 3 paragraphs of boring drivel to get your idea across. That was my point, not random insults for no reason. Why do people get offended at everything that doesn't agree with them?

Hexi, your summation is not accurate because that isn’t what I mean. That’s why I used the exact words I that I did. Thank you for the editorial comments, although I’m going to go with my gut on this and use the words that make the most sense to me.

I mentioned that I wasn’t insulted. I was excited. But, you’re free to continue to believe whatever you wish about what I am feeling. Actually, this is an interesting observation. I say I was excited. I even invite you to say exactly what you need to say and that I need to hear it on some level. Somehow you take that to mean that I was insulted. I also didn’t notice where you were disagreeing with the content of what I was saying, yet you assumed, judging by this last comment, that this is what I must have meant. I noticed a similar experience with Whitewolf’s earlier comments. I answered his questions, literally, and he assumed that we were “dancing around my feelings”. These assumptions are fascinating. Can you entertain the possibility that you are projecting motives and feelings onto me that don’t exist anywhere other than your own mind?

*Again, my first sentence is me being literal. I am not offended or insulted, nor do I think you are disagreeing with me. I am however, fine if you are or do. In fact, I am golden!

I should have added that the last sentence was aimed at toby and not you at all and it was worded poorly to begin with.

My post was an over-simplification but that is the basic idea i got from your post. I know there was more to it but it was not part of the core idea. If i'm wrong that's fine, i'm not a narcissist. :)

Ah! Excellent. Thanks for clearing the "insult" part up. I was the one making an assumption about your comment this time around, wasn't I? You are an excellent teacher!

And once again, thank you Hexi. Seriously. You presented me with yet another opportunity to feel joy! I absolutely love it!!!

I dont share that view, I feel that constructive critisicm is great, but insulting people or when I think someone has insulted someone usually provokes anger and frustration in me, so I tend to block it out. My attempt to adhere to Proverbs 12:16.

Good Toby. That’s a valid way of going about it. I noticed that in my own case, if I ignored criticism or even insults, or if I tried to make myself rise above it somehow, that I still felt it in my body as resistance, as pain. It lingered, which fueled my “I am right mindset”, which fueled my egoic mind, which fueled my confusion. When I believe that I don’t love my critic, I am very confused. That’s why I am so thankful for my critics, whenever they show up. They give me a chance to see how I am resisting reality. And I am glad that your way works for you Toby. Proverbs 12:16 is an excellent ideal to aspire to! Although I was a bible student, I didn’t know that verse was in there.

See, i don't feel like that at all. Insults, veiled and otherwise, mean nothing to me. Likewise, i don't try to insult others for the sake of insulting to appear superior.

I say what i think at that exact moment when i choose to reply, there is no pre-meditated agenda but because i don't get offended i sometimes forget that others feel strongly about things. Hmm... or maybe i just don't care because emotional response is amusing.

Hexi, I can appreciate your straightforwardness. It's refreshing. I don't know if you are this way in your offline world. Are you?

Unless i'm playing with people, yes. I gain nothing from being coy and vague on purpose.

Toby, you refer to an archaic book that is supposedly 2 millenia old when i think and analyze my thought patterns to discern why i got to the conclusion i did. It's your choice and i voiced my disdain for not figuring things out for yourself.

Thats whats great about biblical verses; they're great for non-christians to use and aspire to.
I wish I could be more like you in the sense of how you accept your critics, I try and use critisicms to better myself, but when they feel unfounded they usually don't go down so well. :-)

Indeed, who needs independent thoughts and ideas.

I don't know how to respond to that without insulting you. Of course people need independent thoughts and ideas, but if you read a bible theres lots in there I bet you would like or even use.

Toby, I use defensive feelings as my barometer. If I am feeling defensive, then for me, that means I am trying not to face something that on some level I believe is true. And since truth is important to me, I take a look inside to see what I am trying to hide from myself. If I don’t feel defensive, then I look to see if I find the criticism useful or helpful. If I don’t, then I am grateful that someone decided to share their honest opinion with me and I am free to not take on the criticism. For instance, while I appreciate that Whitewolf and Hexi think I am long winded, I don’t feel sufficiently motivated to make my comments shorter right now. And that could change later. I’m still open to that.

More importantly, people’s criticism has almost nothing to do with me. I get that, which reduces the drama quotient in my life considerably.

Toby my friend, something tells me that you are doing fine, precisely as you are!

[/b][/b]

I see you're SZ. That's all. The rest of that crap was contradictive insanity. Though you are long winded you rarely hold much content in your conversations. You probably picked up fragments of these.. thoughts from movies or books. Really it all just lacked a proper structure. I don't think you really believe this either.

whitewolf you does HAS to accepted that other people maybe BE different and doesnt HAS same thoughts. and doesnt get angry from that BECAUSE i does thinks ecco homo trying to help you really. im DOES be here for you too.

Applause!!! Very good Whitewolf. As I suspected, you were not interested in a dialogue. I went ahead and typed what I did because I could have been wrong. You showed me I wasn’t. It seems you are more interested in having a monologue. But it’s all good though. As a matter of fact, it’s fantastic. I hope these beliefs you carry with you about me and “my kind” (LOL) bring you as much happiness as you can stand to have! You deserve the best and I hope you continue to get it!

Take care Whitewolf! I love you.

I just wanted to see what makes you tick. People who appear to always be cheerful and positive are usually fighting a form of depression or some deep emotional pain/regret.

No doubt it was something like that that broke you. Or rather brought you to your contradicting terms of belief.

How old are you?

You seem very uncomfortable talking to me. Why is that? What power are you giving me over you? It's all in your head.

Thats something I try to teach people. Power isn't real. Bullets kill everyone equally. But you are materialistic creatures. Your possesions define you... and as such you can never be free till you have nothing left to lose.

I know I'm not materialistic. My possesions are limited and I don't take anything for granted. Ever.

Whitewolfie:

You wanted to see what makes me tick… Why? Who cares, really?

We speak from two separate paradigms. Although I understand your vantage point, you apparently don’t seem to understand mine. You keep trying to fit my words into your view of the world, which is how you can talk about my “contradictory beliefs”. All I can say to that is, there is a difference between believing and seeing. My comments above are not what I believe, they are verbal descriptions of what I see, and even they aren’t ultimately true. The only way you can know what I am talking about is to see it for yourself. Until such a time happens, all you can do is… well… all you can do is what you have been doing, which is project your own feelings onto me and then dismiss what you think I am saying. Which, as always, is fine. I want for you what you want for yourself.

I am glad you see enough to notice that power is an illusion. What else can you see if you relax your need to cling to your false superiority?

What is this really about kiddo?

I just had a bit of an epiphany of sorts Wolfie. I apologize for saying that your sense of superiority is false. It isn’t false to you. And maybe I am completely wrong about that as well. Maybe you don’t see your psychological differences from “my people” as superior. Your comments educate me about what you think, at least as far as what you have said here. The truth is I don’t know you. Who knows who you are offline, what you’re like, what kind of education you have, whether you are married with children or single or homosexual or Latino… I just don’t know you. But I have been given an opportunity to be educated by you when you share your thoughts and I shut down that opportunity with comments about your so called false superiority. It was my own false superiority that was rearing its beautiful head in that statement. I got that just now thanks to you!

...And even that isn't true.

LOL! Precisely! You're so good Wolfie.