My best friend is a strange person, someone who doesn't really know how to act in social situations, but when alone is really enjoyable. In our time together, when we are with a group of people, my friend relies on me to engage them in the conversation, to coax her into being a warm human being.

What has begun to tear our friendship apart, is that her nature is to have everyone come to her, she is constantly taking in energy and returning none. I feel generally used and misunderstood by her. When I approach her about the way she acts, that it in turn isolates me, she becomes angry, aggressive, and cruel (the introverted girl facade fades). After having that 'total honesty' conversation with her, telling her how I felt, nothing changed.

She simply made herself out to be 'socially awkward'.. she has a condescending view of humanity overrall.. a "misunderstood martyr" complex.

When she takes opposition to something I've said or done.. she says nothing to me, but spreads about her opinions and feelings behind my back, with other friends of ours. Im really hurt about this situation, I'm tired of being the one to always apologize for the sake of our friendship.. I know I can't always be the villain. It's tiring to be made out like that.

How can I tell my friend how I feel, getting past her stubborn-ness, and without giving her a way to victimize herself, as she has done in the past?

You can’t. What you can do with complete confidence is get past your own tendency to make yourself out to be a victim. Your friend can only turn you into a "villain" if you allow it. Take responsibility for your part in creating this dynamic in the friendship, stop blaming her for your pain, and take back control. The power has always been yours.

I'd never seen it until now. I truly appreciate your input.