My cousin has a history of depression... Just recently I prayed that I could some how help him through a recent rough patch..He is reaching out to me..I truly care about him and hope he can see the light.. Please help me pray for his strength and Mine to help him heal... I would love for him to see how precious every second of life is.. His name is Doug...I know my grandmother would want me to help him... she loved him with all her heart..I just wish she was here to help me to help him..I miss you Grandma Gladys..My heart hurts..

Andrea I will surely keep Doug in my prayers and you of course that God, your guides and angels help you with the wisdom and words to help him! Sending love....
Marcy

THank you Marcy... after your message @ 230 I got a call from my aunt and my cousin... both asking for me to help... I am committed to help my cousin get through this... I sure wish I had the tools to heal him properly..I do believe he want to do the work to heal..
Tonight I am going to ask for my grandmothers guidance.. I am sure she is busy in heaven somewhere..hopefully she hears me..that sounds crazy BUT its how I feel...

I prayed for my "support crew" to give me the people that I could heal..so far they are coming out of the wood work..this one is special to me.... this one hurts my heart...

i work in the 'medical' field perhaps i could help if you need to know more abt depression?

its important if he is on meds to NOT stop taking them unless his doctor has advised so....

just asked the meds question... he needs them i think..this is huge!! this is all encompassing him....
depression plus a break up... RYAN I DONT NOW HOW TO HELP HIM MAKE IT THROUGH EVEN ONE MINUTE.. he is calling me know..RYANNNNNNN!!!

i find that with depression especially people with long term depression - its best if he continues with meds and also continue with counseling (if not already initiated)

If he has suicidal tendencies - then more extreme measures need to be taken (i.e. adding a benzodiazepine to his meds to sedate/clam him till he make it through this bad phase) and/or even admission to the hospital

The fact that he is calling you is a GOOD sign - shows that he is reaching out and he should be surrounded with people who care and who can help and who can go that extra mile to ensure that he is ok...

Just listen to him and continue to assure him that things will be ok - Sometimes all they need is a good listener...each case different

keep us updated

Ok that helped...listening...thats what i need to remember I am not healing him I am listening to him..I want to stand next to him through this...
Ryan...i hear in him things you have talked about..he feels betrayed and just wants her back..
I dont want to abuse this prayer thread BUT i need some prayers now..I need the strength and love to stand with him and the knowledge to know when to step away to breath.

Andrea: I have been praying for you and Doug from the moment you first posted about him and will continue to do so.. my friend!!! Just take it one day at a time..try not to let it overwhelm you!!He has been led to you for a reason and that reason is that you can help him through this. Although he lost a love, and its not the same as you losing your dad...you can relate to him on the level of losing someone. Loss is loss and any kind causes deep pain.
I agree with Ryan about the meds however... meds will help him feel better for a time they wont take his problems away..they will still be there. But meds could keep his pain level and depression at a place where he wont do anything stupid for now. The fact that he is reaching out to you means he wants help and probably isnt seriously thinking about suicide; although at times he might hurt bad enough to state that he is.
True happiness is something that lies within ourselves. Although we might not think that when we lose somebody...no-body else can truely make us happy if we dont love ourselves. Right now he just needs someone to listen and understand who cares; I agree with Ryan on that also. But down the road a bit he might need some sort of counseling...whether it be through you or through a counselor!
I am praying for you that your guides and angels help you through this and give you the knowledge and the words to help him. I trust God that this will come to you when you need it!!
In my prayers continually!!!!Sending you love and a big hug!!! Marcy

@ 4am this morning I talked to my cousin..last night he realized on his own that this girl was never happy with him and even if he got her back she would not be happy and he would not be either..WHoa he is actually taking her off the pedistal now..what a relief.. I am sure there is more hurt to come but the fact that he is seeing some hope and seeing the situation from both sides is AMAZING!!! its been weeks that he has been paralyzed and only a few day has he been able to start going forward... *sigh* yesterday after noon he did not see hope and did not want to live to the next minute..
thank you so much for your prayers..I have to believe they are helping both him and I .last night I went to bed and said a prayer for him..I asked that he be released from the darkness I BEGGED for him to be able to breath.. ..I felt it with all my heart..I believe loving him is helping him..praying for him is helping him..its all good...
I know there is so much more to come..
marcy you are right the loss feels the same..In fact I think he may have something to struggle with that I did not..my father passed away ..it was final... my poor cousin has to realize there is no hope for a relationship and this woman is still around..the finality seems less easy to grasp... his hurt IS the same hurt I had losing my father..
Ryan I had to hear from you that I needed to listen..as time was going on I felt like I needed to fix it..I just need to listen..thank you..that took a burden off of me and made me more able to endure this with him..I do care that he is not hurting its just not me that can take that from him..I can only love and listen..Thank You Ryan!
I am going to sleep for a while now!! big hugs guys!

Andra: Wow sounds like you had a very late night with your cousin! Im sure he is glad you care enough to be there for him.
I believe him realizing that she wouldnt be happy and neither would he if they got back together is the start of healing. He is realizing the truth and they say the truth can set us free. That doesnt mean there wont be times of feeling the pain of loss and it wont still overwhelm him at times. When you really love somebody---even if you were together only a year or so--that love and pain of loss just doesnt go away that quick! I am so glad he has you to listen and be there for him.
You my friend; are amazing! You are so intune to your intuition and I see that getting stronger in you all the time. You are so different from the girl i met here a few months ago!!! I am so happy for you and so proud of you. You are now in the place where you can help others and that is why God is drawing people to you who need help-- and that is a wonderous thing if you look back and think about it? The most beautiful thing we can do in life is to help others and truly love others. I believe that is what we are all here for. I believe learning to get out of ourselves and learning true love is our "Big Lesson" while we are here. To me thats what it means to be "God-like"!!! Because God is all-loving!!
Gonna continue to pray for you and your cousin Doug!! You Andrea are a blessing to Doug and you are a blessing in my life also!!!
Sending you a Big Hug!!! Marcy

Arghh – I typed put a really long reply to find out that the browser crashed and I lost everything lol…and not forgetting how my car died on me this morning Oh man my life sucks…lol

I’m sorry to say this but I can relate to what your cousin is going through. The sad thing is its an uphill battle. There are NO shortcuts in dealing with grief. Everyone has to go through the 5 stages. I still remember what Pema Chodron once said in one of her many Audio Cds “its like taking 5 steps forward and 5 steps back and tomorrow when you take 5 steps forward again you might only tale 4.5 steps back” Slowly (with time) but surely everyone gets there but it a lot of work and the sooner he understands why and where things have gone wrong the sooner he will be able to move on…

This is not trying to scare you or anything but if you guys remember to what happened to designer Alexander Mcqueen? He committed sucide MONTHS after his mum died. I always asked if he was so upset, why didn’t he kill himself earlier? like days after his mum died rather than weeks/months later. Its because humans spiral through the 5 stages of grief, with time you will lean towards ‘acceptance’ but then you will have your down days and that is when you will need all the support you can get when the **** hits the fence.

It’s a lot like what Chris had once said as well, it’s not able how many friends you have but how many can you call/rely on in the middle of the night. A lot of time, we as friends has to be the one that reach out to them to show them that there are people out there that still cares.

Even sometimes sending a simple SMS to ask how their day was can make a whole lot of difference

Ryan: I am familiar with Alexander Mcqueen the designer; however..your information is a little bit off. Not meaning to throw a wrench in what you wrote or anything but he hung himself only 9 days after his mother passed from cancer, not months.He had also tried to overdose twice; once in May and once in July of 2009---months before his mother died. He was heavy into drugs and suffering from anxiety and depressive disorder. Maybe his mom had a battle with cancer for a while and they knew she was going to die; or maybe he was so depressed anyway that her passing put him over the edge. They had not even had her funeral yet when he hung himself. Her funeral was the day after he passed away. This doesnt at all take away from what you are saying though...depression is a very serious thing and can be classed as an illness.
Sorry but you said you wondered "why he didnt do it earlyer"? So I thought I would tell you the true story thats documented.
Hugs!!! Marcy

thats for clearing that up...i just remembered reading my info from thesun.co.uk lol some trashy site - maybe i remembered wrongly...

thanks for correcting me!!!

i love the heading that day "the queen is dead"