I do hope there will be a hundred more shows on this topic. I feel so strong about this...
A child who is bullied especially young can be molded in to an insecure adult...
When I think about walking into a room I KNOW that I am special and that I have amazing love to give...then the words that I heard over and over from my brother when we were young come crushing down on me... In an instant I can go from having a great time to overtaken by the things I think others are noticing.. :-( the rational part of me knows that no one cares that I may be overweight or that I may look aged or whatever.. rational isnt always the winner over irrational... My brother and father use to label woman...fat,too loud,too argumentative, to opinionated,pretty face ugly body, and sooo on and sooo on.. Both my father and Brother would try to guide me on what not to be if I ever wanted to keep a man....My father did it as kind as he could.. I guess... My brother beat me..told me I was going to be a lonely cat woman...told me men dont like big woman..told me I will always be big..told me I needed to fear men.. told me men only want one thing and I am not a pretty girl soo no one will be proud to have me. EVER...to this day he still questions my husband.."Why are you with her?" that hurts...
NO one dared to bully me at school because LUCKY ME I was the biggest bullies SISTER!!!! I was surrounded by bullies, they respected me...this sounds crazy but I was conditioned to act proper...
these thoughts of myself RUN SOOOO deep.. almost like there are 2 of me....up until recently I avoided SOOO many social functions because I felt unable to walk into a room..One time I went to a wedding but had to get totally drunk to be able to walk through the door...then was too afraid to sit with family.I hid in the corner and drank too much I may have ended up looking more ridiculous than if I just participated normally...
I am working on it and my life is becoming more wonderful...I have ruined and wasted a huge portion of my life with this mess.... avoided weddings!! AVOIDED GETTING MARRIED...Avoided family reunions..Avoided friend reunions...AVOIDED 11 years of my HUSBANDS work Christmas parties..AVOIDED 11 years of free theme parks days for his work..SOOO ON and sooooo on... all from the words that were spoken to me before I was old enough to fight them...
I am facing these things..Its not easy..I would love to have tools to completely over come them..This is why I think soul reactivations may be necessary..

Being Bullied changed my life.... I would love a show on how to spiritually deal with the aftermath..

Hi Andrea thank you for posting this and opening up so much to us all. I was bullied most of my life also and it was not until I realized that it was important to love myself and all that I am that I was able to stand up to the bullies and start to heal from all the hurt that had gone before. Don't get me wrong it was not an easy thing to do and I still get flashbacks of situations that are not nice... but with my faith and belief I can overcome the negative and keep myself in a positive frame of mind.

Have you ever seen the film 'Shallow Hal'? I love the part where the pretty woman is shown as ugly!!! Beauty is only skin deep and it is what is in your heart that matters. When you let your inner beauty shine then genuine people can see that and whatever may be on the outside does not matter. Draw a line in the sand and say that what is past is past... forgive yourself and others and move on with your life and you will be so much happier in yourself.

Blessings and Love
Hazel

Andrea, thank you so much for sharing your story. I believe that the more we share these stories, the more others can relate to them and KNOW they're not alone. You ARE amazing and beautiful! It comes through just with your words, I can only imagine you in a room!

Thank You Trish.. I am just happy that at 33 I am starting to move forward..not backward.. Thank you for your words!!
Hazel, The funny thing about the movie Shallow Hal IS... I actually avoided for many years movies with pretty woman in them..it sounds CRAZY but sooooo true!!! One time I went on a date. it was a movie with Jim Carey and Cameron Diaz.. omg I obsessed at how pretty she was and how Ugly I was...kind of funny now..not so funny then... Last weekend I went to vegas which I avoided for years because of all the beautiful woman all over the place!! this time I did not care..In fact I felt like my husband was lucky to be with me...that was progress...Tomorrow I am going to a concert with friends..My goal is to have fun and feel beautiful..figures my 2 friends are gorgeous.. wish me luck!!

Hazel I am glad you found strength to over come..I know its not easy. I have a question... are the insecurities you overcame directly related to being bullied or did you have them before?? I learned to stop my brother from telling me I was ugly..I learned to get him to stop hitting me... Now I have to learn to stop listening to him over and over in my head.. I just might email him right now..lol god help him!
Huge Hugs to you!!!!

Andrea: I dont know what you were like growing up but you are so beautiful now!! You are beautiful on the inside and you are beautiful on the outside...and I know because I know what you look like. Brothers can be bullys without even really realizing what they are doing is so hurtful!
I am glad you are going to write your brother you need to tell him how it makes you feel..that is a step in healing that will lift a burden off your shoulders because when someone hurts you like that..deep down you naturally hold a grudge! I learned a lot from todays show about bullying and about bullys and why they do it. Your brother needs prayer if he is still doing this sort of thing.
Thank you so much for opening up yourself and sharing this part of yourself with us! Talking about these things does help and we have beautiful friends like Ryan and Trish and Hazel to pray for you and give you support!! And many others who might not post on this board but read it and pray for those that need prayer!
You will always be in my prayers, and Doug and your brother now too..Heck Im just gonna add your whole family!!!! My prayer list is really growing LOL!!!!! I just have to say "I love you so much Andrea"!!!!!! Hugs!! Marcy

Hazel: What beautiful words and I feel it coming straight from your heart!!! You are such an amazingly beautiful spirit!! I just appreciate you so much!! It will be so great when we all go to Heaven and we are all stripped of these physical bodies and we all see each other as we truly are!! I think some will be truly surprized at what beauty really is!!! Love an hugs to you Hazel!!! Marcy

Hazel BIG GIANT HUGS!!!

Marcy.. Well I talked to my brother.. it was good... We talk a lot, I guess I never thought to bring him into what I am trying so hard to release... it only took a few messages.. I understand where he is coming from.. it doesnt change what damage is done..but it was great to talk to him about it.. we came from the same broken home situation..sort of a breeding ground for hurt...We all deal with it differently..
Thank you for your kind words.. I am going to work on releasing my insecurities..I thank god I have the time and patience to focus on one what I need to do..
This message board is like a bottle of "FEEL GOOD"
:-) I sympathize with the bullied and the bullies...
Trish mentioned that the more they bully the more damage is done to them...I wish I could wrap my arms around (with love) anyone who feels the need to harm others with bullying..

Andrea my insecurities were there from a very early age and related to bullying as it comes in many forms. I was made to feel worthless and ugly by my parents and peers and bullied horrendously at school. Even when I got married and escaped the hell that was my childhood I married a bully who would tell me how ugly and worthless I was. You know I look back at the pictures of me then and laugh..... Part of me does wish that I still look like that now but I am now sooooooooooooooo happy in my own skin and it is my inner light that shines for all to see.

You need to believe in yourself and love yourself first and foremost... then believe in those you love and love them with all your heart. You would not hurt the ones you love by accusing them of the things that you accuse yourself of so why hurt yourself???? When you replay the bullying in your head you are hurting yourself and punishing yourself and I wonder why are you doing this?

Feel worthy and believe that you are worthy... You are a beautiful soul living a human existence and as Marcy says when we are all together in Spirit we shall recognize each other as the shining souls that we truly are.....

I see from your last post that you spoke to your brother and it is wonderful that you and he are working things out... Forgiveness would be wonderful as it would release you from all the hurt that you are holding onto as well. To truly forgive someone is to let go of all the hurt in your heart. Yes it will not change what happened but let go of these memories and forgive yourself too.

Andrea sending you love and you are in my prayers. Marcy love to you too sweetie you are an amazing lady thank you for being my friend <3

Andrea: I am so glad you talked to your brother. You probably helped him also to realize something he didnt know before..how much his bullying hurts you or others if he does it to others. You not only helped yourself---you helped your brother. And I am sure he has a deeper respect for you for talking to him about it! I know you are gonna come out of this and be even more amazing Andrea!!! Hugs!! marcy