Holidays have always been special for me and my family. I always made them as special as I could so that when my daughters grew up and had families of their own; they would still want to come home and be with family. I had a plan; and it worked!! All three of my daughters loved the holidays!
I used to work for three days straight getting everything ready for Thanksgiving. It started with "Pie Day". That was the day my family could be sure - the Christmas music would start and play non-stop till after Christmas! They would all eat snacks and lay around all day like beached whales. As soon as Thanksgiving was over; they wanted me to decorate for Christmas. It always wore me out, doing everything so, about ten years ago I changed our tradition!
I would still start three days before Thanksgiving with Pie Day (I make 12-14 pies; I give some away every year). But on Thanksgiving Day, instead of them all laying around...I had them decorate for Christmas and put up the tree. They loved it!! Alisa always decorated the tree and her other two sisters did the windows and house. They would all come home with their husbands and the grandkids and spend the night Christmas eve; so they would be here Christmas morning. I absolutely loved Christmas music...and I mean I played it non-stop from Thanksgiving to Christmas. Somehow it just put me in such a wonderful frame of mind!!
Last year when Alisa passed a week and a half before Christmas; Everything just stopped. Thank God we had already shopped for the grandkids because I would not have been able to do it! That was the day the music died for me. I couldnt listen to music at all! Something that I once loved so much meant nothing to me! My heart was so broken..nothing meant anything. I have never hurt so bad ever in my whole life! Nothing was ever going to be the same again!
Sometimes I would listen to songs people post on facebook..but.. at home..or in the car..no music would be heard for me. It was too painful! Too many songs reminded me that Alisa was gone.
Through the last 11 months I have grown and learned so much because of Christopher; and all my wonderful friends I have met and Im in a different place today. Im not that sad person I was 11 months ago. Of course I still miss my daughter being around physically..I miss her terribly. But I do have her around in spirit and I am so blessed to get signs from her. Plus Christopher has helped me understand her passing and where she is and I feel ok with it because she is happy with God and the angels.
For the last few months, sometimes when I lay in bed at night and pray and meditate; I can hear music playing...soft beautiful music. I have known from the start of this that it is my angels telling me "its time". It is time to listen to the music again.
I tried to muster up the courage to turn on the radio...but just couldnt. I was afraid I would be taken back to the day she passed and hurt like that all over again! But Thanksgiving day..my husband put the Christmas music on, when my daughters came to decorate. It was beautiful....it filled my heart with joy. Why didnt I just listen to my angels a few months ago when they first let me hear the music late at night? I dont know....but I can now listen to music again; and most importantly---That is exactly what Alisa would want because she loved christmas so much!!I have to thank my guardian angels here because I believe they were helping me and preparing me to listen to the music!!!
Love and Light to everyone!
Marcy

lol you sure know how to get me back here!!

I am so amazed that your husband was the one to turn on the music...Randy must be finding strength somewhere...what a beautiful gift to give all your daughters and grand babies...the music is back!

Marcy!!!! I know I would want my mother to hear music if I was in heaven..I would want her to find peace...Alisa must be proud.. letting go of grief seems to bring love closer...like turning a light on..

I do believe we know what our blocks are..some seem to be pretty obvious others are masked as a small details when they are actually a huge wall that needs to be broken down...

Randy helped you break through... Randy turned the music back on... If I could drive up there and hug both of you I would...lol that would be crazy.. :-)

I've always LOVED music - every music will remind of a particular event or moment in life

During my breakup - the music that I had on repeat was

Celine Dion's - Pour que tu m'aimes encore

Deep down I know 'it' will happen (what the song was about) and when it does, its all gonna be too late

Andrea...you were so right when you said "I do believe we know what our blocks are..some seem to be pretty obvious others are masked as a small details when they are actually a huge wall that needs to be broken down"... I can so realte to that statement!!!
I think it was easier for Randy with the music because well...he is a singer and musician. He is getting ready to do a Christmas concert for the folks at the nursing home I used to work at. He was going to do one last year, but then Alisa passed...he just couldnt. We have done a Christmas concert for the nursing home for the last 3 years excluding last year. I am not musical..I just go and round everyone up that needs help with wheel chairs etc; and I just get to love on them while he does the music concert. So it was a bit easier for him to turn on the music I think.
Hugs,,, marcy

Ryan you are so right!! Music I think is very magical!! It is also said to be very healing. I believe that!! Hugs! marcy

I had to read it again.... *sigh*
We talk about our questions and ponder what things mean..A LOT!!!!
This story..Your story leaves me with no questions..Its just beautiful....