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3rd strike I'm DONE

I've been imformed but my lovely wifey that she is NOT happy. She comes home from a so called church retreat weekend and drops this bomb on me. Sounds kind of fishy dont it.
Thanks for being my freinds guys, with ur fellow ship I can get thru this.

Love u guys, cya around sometime

Re: 3rd strike I'm DONE





Virgin Test
Paddy was planning to get married and asked his doctor how he could tell if his bride is a virgin.

The doctor said, “Well, you need three things from a do it yourself shop. A can of red paint, a can of blue paint… and a shovel.”

Paddy asked, “And what do I do with these, doc?”

The doctor replied, “Before the wedding night, you paint one of your ********* red and the other one blue. If she says, ‘That’s the strangest pair of balls I ever saw.’, you hit her with the shovel.”

Re: 3rd strike I'm DONE

The madam opened the brothel door in Winnipeg and saw a rather
dignified, well-dressed, good-looking middle aged man.



"May I help you sir?" she asked.



The man replied, "I want to see Valerie."



"Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would
prefer someone else" said the madam.



He replied, "No, I must see Valerie."



Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged
$5000 a visit.



Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and
gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly
left.



The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see
Valerie.



Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row
as she was too expensive.



"There are no discounts. The price is still $5000."



Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they
went upstairs. After an hour, he left.



The following night the man was there yet again. Everyone was
astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid
Valerie and they went upstairs.



After their session, Valerie said to the man, "No one has ever been
with me three nights in a row." "Where are you from?"



The man replied, "New Brunswick."



"Really," she said. "I have family in New Brunswick."



"I know." the man said.

"Your sister died, and I am her attorney." "She asked me to give
you your $15,000 inheritance."



The moral of the story is that three (3) things in life are certain.

1. Death

2. Taxes

3. Being screwed by a lawyer!

Re: 3rd strike I'm DONE

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book.

Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, “Good morning Ma’am. What are you doing?”
“Reading a book,” she replies, (thinking, “Isn’t that obvious?”)

“You’re in a restricted fishing area,” he informs her.
“I’m sorry officer, but I’m not fishing, I’m reading.”

“Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I’ll have to take you in and write you up.”

“If you do that, I’ll have to charge you with sexual assault,” says the woman.

“But I haven’t even touched you,” says the game warden.

“That’s true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.”

“Have a nice day ma’am”, and he left.

MORAL:
Never argue with a woman who reads. It’s likely she can also think.