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SunnyDay's Message Board

Hi! Welcome to my message board! Use it to contact me or others or to post questions and share ideas and experiences. The topic should always be related to nudism / naturism. Feel free to respond to posts from others in a respectful way if you have something helpful or meaningful to contribute. Let's keep it light, lively, and most of all, fun! Thanks!

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Kids and playdates..?

My wife and I have one son - a one-year old. Obviously, we're not to this point yet, but I'm starting wonder about some things. Right now, I'm wondering if we raise our kids as naturists, will they have a hard time making friends with their non-naturist peers? And even if they can make friends with the other kids, what about the parents? In this area, naturism is a far-distant thought, a comical daydream about lewd old people - of course, being a naturist, I know that's not the right perspective, but I know others think that.

So basically, my question to my fellow naturist parents (esp. Sunny and Brian) is: Have you observed any difficulty with your children making or keeping friends as a result of being naturists?

I have difficulty thinking that this could be a major problem. It seems like it would be something only a minority of other parents would really react *that* strongly to. My wife is much more fearful of this than I am, and I don't want to just pass over this because I don't relate to this concern. Am I crazy?

I thought this would be a good place to put this question. Thanks!

Re: Kids and playdates..?

That's a great question CJM, one that i'm sure many of us have wondered about. Of course, I'm far past such consideration in my own family. Sunny and Brian would be the perfect ones to answer such a question. In her final posting she hinted that they were beginning to face that very question with the lady from their church who expressed great displeasure that she let her young children play with their 12 yr old friend nude in their wading pool. She had just a bit earlier posted how her young daughter "came out" to Brian's parents with a picture book about learning to swim. She ended that post with "to be continued".
We haven't heard from her since a report on the year 2011 posted in May 2012. I'm sure that they've had many experiences along the line of your inquiry. Like you, I do wish that she would post an update.
But, I know that she is very busy, and she has her reasons for being quiet these past 6 years.

Re: Kids and playdates..?

We did not raise our two children as nudists but we used to be what you might call "nude friendly." The youngest is 30 now. How time flies.

Well, anyway, when our oldest was still a pre-schooler, we let him use the little wading pool with his friend from the other end of the townhouse community where we lived. They both used it nude. As near as I recall, there was no objection from his mother, who we visited with sometimes. Another older girl was sometimes outside nude, too. But those were the 1980s, so everything was different. Moral panics about nudity were still in the future.

Re: Kids and playdates..?

BlueTrain
Moral panics about nudity


What a great phrase, BlueTrain. The words just blare out the complete absurdity of such positions that have become so common in our upside down society.The moral things that we deem offensive and the offensive things that we deem moral.

Re: Kids and playdates..?

Wikepedia has a good article on moral panic. The general idea is that the media, which I suppose now includes internet forums, discovers something that is (or isn't) happening and which they don't like and sensationalizes it. Whether or not there is any truth to the matter is irrelevant.

One example is crime. On gun forums, one constantly reads the expression "since crime is going up," when in fact crime rates are going down. But rising crime rates are necessary to suit certain reactions, like more guns. Anything controversial can be painted black to suit circumstances. At the moment, anything to do with immigrants, particularly Muslim or anyone non-white is fair game. And of course, the complaintant is the one who gets to decide who is white and who isn't (or isn't white enough).

Another example closer to the subject is teens texting nude photos of themselves to one another. Reactions to that are perfect examples of a moral panic. However, my wife, a 5th grade schoolteacher related to me that a girl in her class did indeed do that, only not in school. I don't know the end result, except that the world didn't end. As far as serious issues in school, something like that is close to the bottom.

Yet another is fear of immunizations, not to mention florinated water. The fear of immunizations is, I believe, partly based on the belief that someone, usually the government, is out to get them, and partly on the belief that no such need exists for any immunization. Our memory of some things is remarkably short. My wife's uncle died of polio in the polio epidemic in the 1950s. Some fear is justified but some people get it backwards. But as they say, fear sells.

Re: Kids and playdates..?

Our kids are 11, 10 and 5. It is a non issue. No one cares if a toddler is naked, except maybe the parents if they are squeamish about nudity. When kids are a little older (such as preschool age) they know when it is appropriate to be clothed or unclothed. Interestingly enough kids pick up cues from the parents. When we (the parents) are unclothed, the kids want to be unclothed too. When one of the parents is clothed, they are less likely to take their clothes off. I think that the parents unashamed and wholesome attitude to being naked goes a long way to set the right tone. In our home, nudity is a non event, it is totally normal and nobody has any reaction to it, not even frequent visitors. We have told quite a few of our friends (including some from our church) that we are naturists and it has been a non issue, life just goes on. We do go to a very conservative church. By conservative, I mean that for example men are strongly encouraged to wear shirts at our summer events to be mindful of the young people. The important part is that if people know your character and trust your integrity, they will not have an issue with your preference for being unclothed. Now if more of them were willing to give it a try, I think they would be pleasantly surprised.

Re: Kids and playdates..?

Hi, all. It's great to see this sub-topic come up, as I have very recently begun forming a list of questions and scenarios with regard to raising children in a clothing-optional/clothes-free/naturist-lifestyle household. My wife and I don't have children yet, and my desire to raise children in such a household may very well make or break whether we have children together. In my opinion, "western" children, especially those in the USA, need to see nonsexual nudity a lot more than they traditionally have seen in the past few decades, starting at home. The benefits shown by science and anecdotes on this are very clear. I will do my best to finish gathering those questions and scenarios and post them here (as well as send them to my naturist/nudist Facebook friends and to other online naturist gurus, naturist organizations, and club/campground/resort owners), but for now, here's a very recent and relevant article/podcast to consider:

https://www.thestar.com/life/relationships/2017/03/07/do-naturists-have-the-right-idea-raising-kids-around-social-nudity.html

http://thenewfamily.com/2017/02/podcast-episode-124-family-naturism-raising-kids-around-social-nudity/

Take care and stay bare!

- Straber

Re: Kids and playdates..?

Special thanks to NaturistFamily and Straber! You guys have made me feel much better about this. Straber, thanks for the links. I'll definitely be checking those out!

I love this forum!

Re: Kids and playdates..?

Both of my kids are in their mid-twenties. We weren't obsessive about nudity, but when they got into JHS we stopped doing the naked "It's time for a bath, chase around the house".

My wife had certain ideas about the cutoff age for kids to see parents naked. Had I been then where I am now, maybe we would have had a more open household with regards to nudity.

Ahhh, well.

Re: Kids and playdates..?

Duane
Both of my kids are in their mid-twenties. We weren't obsessive about nudity, but when they got into JHS we stopped doing the naked "It's time for a bath, chase around the house".

My wife had certain ideas about the cutoff age for kids to see parents naked. Had I been then where I am now, maybe we would have had a more open household with regards to nudity.

Ahhh, well.


I'm going to break my self-imposed rule about not discussing family nudism because I think this is something many people, even those who are not nudists, think is okay, or at least it's okay for other families to do, even if they don't want to do it.

One of my friends comes from a fairly large Catholic family who did the "time for a bath, chase around the house" thing when the kids were young. The Catholic part is important because they were "traditional values" people, which is why they had a larger family. But lots of love, and the sort of close family ties that have lasted into adulthood and probably used to be normal years ago when most families were more than a few kids.

My friend started dating another practicing Catholic who also had the "family bath" thing, but unlike her family, this family let it continue as long as the kids wanted, which meant the boys basically never stopped and while their sisters generally stopped by high school, they were used to seeing their brothers bodies and didn't mind. Since mistakes happen, the sisters would sometimes forget towels, and when they would call out from the bathroom, "Hey, can you hand me a towel," the brother who heard her plea for help, depending on how he felt that day, might either hand her the towel through the slightly open door or tell her, "Hey sis, your fault for forgetting, come out and get it yourself."

Even for the sisters, their reaction was more annoyance than being scared. They'd simply walk out covering themselves with their hands, go to the towel closet, get their towel, and (depending on how wet they were) either go back to the bathroom to dry off or turn their back to their brother and dry off right there.

As my friend and her boyfriend started to get serious, his parents invited her to spend spring break at their home, and one of the first things the brothers told her was that if it bothered her, they'd be sure to always wear towels when going between the bedroom and bathroom. Since she was from a large family herself, she didn't mind using a sleeping bag on the floor of the two oldest sisters' bedroom, and one day she saw firsthand what happened when one of those sisters forgot her towel, with a brother telling her to "get it yourself" and the sister deciding instead to cover herself with her hands and make a quick dash to the bedroom.

That made an impression on my friend, and since she and her boyfriend both knew about our nude beach visits, it wasn't too long before they asked if they could join us at the cafeteria table for dinner to talk with us about the beach.

That was a long talk.

The takeaway from the talk was my friend didn't think her family or her boyfriend's family were doing anything wrong by letting the younger kids run around half-dressed or without clothes during bath time, and she thought it had helped her growing up to have a memory, from a younger age, of basic male anatomy. She wasn't so sure about older kids being nude.

I don't think they ever visited the nude beach before they married, but I do know they started showering nude together after they got engaged, and they married during the summer after their sophomore year, and then started visiting the beach. They never became regulars but they enjoyed it, and we hear they're doing the same thing in their home that the husbands family did growing up.

Good? Bad? I don't know. I do think I understand what the boyfriend meant when he told my boyfriend (now husband): "Look, I'd love to see Kristi naked on the beach, but I already know what women look like without clothes and I don't think I'm as desperate to see live women naked as a lot of our male friends. When Kristi and I see each other naked, it will be a very special thing for us, but it's not like we've never seen naked bodies before."

Makes sense I think.

Re: Kids and playdates..?

My father was one of thirteen, my mother one of five. I was an only child and no one in the neighborhood had more than three and we even lived across the street from a Roman Catholic church. So how come my generation is the baby boom generation?

Re: Kids and playdates..?

Good question, Bluetrain!

My Dad was one of 9.
My mom, one of 9 that survived out of 11 births.
Between my mom's parents and my dad's, there were 53 grandchildren.
That's a lot of cousins to remember!

My guess is the baby boom didn't have anything to do with how big the family was, but was a spike in the birth rate because of the war.

I assume the spike is real or why the name?

Duane

Re: Kids and playdates..?

I read a nudist story about a nudist single mom. Since she had to work she took her daughter to a day care center. One day as soon as warm, hot weather came the mother got a call from the day care center. Seems that her daughter had taken her clothes off and being somewhat a natural born leader convince the other kids to join her by getting nude also!

Re: Kids and playdates..?

My ex and I brought up our daughter in nudism.

Unfortunately, the resort was far and she was unable to have friends over from the "nudist world" or play with them outside the resort.

Fortunately, my wife's stepsister was aware of our life style. And her daughter loved being naked. So my wife and her discussed it; and they both thought it would be a good idea for the girls to play "naturally" together. So one day her sister brought our niece over; our daughter was already nude and our niece was asked if she wanted to join her - and she got right into it! The girls spent the rest of the week end nude playing "nudist resort Barbie!" It was pretty awesome.
Subsequently our niece would occasionally come spend the week end with our daughter, au natural.