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Hi! Welcome to my message board! Use it to contact me or others or to post questions and share ideas and experiences. The topic should always be related to nudism / naturism. Feel free to respond to posts from others in a respectful way if you have something helpful or meaningful to contribute. Let's keep it light, lively, and most of all, fun! Thanks!

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About Lake Como deciding to go "nude-mandatory."

This was released earlier this month:

“Dear Residents and Resort Members:

At its regular meeting last Wednesday evening, The Lake Como Co-op Board of Directors passed the following motion: "The Board authorizes management to post all buildings, amenities, and events as nudity required. Conditions/weather permitting."

It is the intent of the Board to make Lake Como a nudist resort and community in fact, and not just in name. Lake Como is a place for nudists, not a place for people who want to look at nudists. Over the next month, the signage will be put in place and the Board will discuss how to implement this change. A motion will be brought forward at the Board's May 24th meeting to set the terms for enforcement of our nudity policy. All residents and members who wish to have input should attend and make their wishes known. If you wish to put your concerns in writing, please address them to our General Manager

Many of our residents and resort members are greatly concerned about the number of people at Lake Como that do not practice social nudism. Our residents and members are at Lake Como to live and practice the nudist lifestyle and want to be with other people who practice nudism. The Board intends to make that happen!

Art Green, President LCCI”

Re: About Lake Como deciding to go "nude-mandatory."

I've posted on this topic before; so I'll try to not be repetitive.

On the one hand, I do have sympathy for husbands whose wives are either newbies or prefer to have a choice on how much time they actually spend naked. On the other hand, sarongs have a way of "proliferating", as one person covered some/most of the time might (unwittingly) "signal" to other women that it's ok to cover up; and lead to an environment where nearly no one is nude outside the pool area. That seems to be, at least in part, what happened at Lake Como.

I personally applaud that decision. It's certainly a financial risk for them as they might get less visitors and residents. But I'm sure the situation was drastic enough for them to take that step.

The "initial" purpose of "clothing-optional" was to give newbies a chance to acclimate before eventually joining in. When that purpose is lost and people actually choose to cover up when it isn't necessary (cold, heat, sun, etc...), the resort can stray from its original purpose: creating an environment where people can be comfortable nude.

I've talked about my wife many a times; and how she did not realize she actually preferred staying naked until we went to a "nudity-mandatory" resort. Seeing other women wearing sarongs and cover-ups at C/O resorts made her too self-conscious to stay naked there. Once she felt "normal" walking around naked at our current "nude-mandatory" resort, and doing activities on the lake, she was hooked. So I think there should be a balance between the number of "C/O" and "NM" resorts; so that people have a choice in the "style" of nudism they prefer to experience. And Lake Como now provides that option.

Just my 5 cents.

Re: About Lake Como deciding to go "nude-mandatory."

Nudony, I could not agree with you more.
The first resort I visited was nude only and that results in no hesitation about getting undressed. What's the point of wearing clothes at a "nude" resort.

Re: About Lake Como deciding to go "nude-mandatory."

I am basically fine with such a policy. A couple years ago while on vacation in another state, I found my way to a nudist resort specifically to play pickleball. I arrived, checked in, returned to my car and removed my clothes. There were a few nude people wandering around. I made my way to the pickleball court and found I was the only nude person there. I immediately felt somewhat uncomfortable and was a bit surprised about that. It was a mixture of both men and women. I carried on and eventually a couple of the men got nude as well, but that was it, no one else ever did. After playing I went up to the pool and of course everyone was nude there. Met a person from my state and then met him again at the nudist club in my area. Small world.

Re: About Lake Como deciding to go "nude-mandatory."

I want to preface this post by stating that this is "just MY opinion."

As a defender of "all nude" nudism, I have received quite a bit of surprising backclap from the online nudist community; especially most recently. Some of the arguments against it make sense to me (which I'll bring up later); while others I find "head-scratching." For example:

- "No one has a RIGHT to see my wife naked."
This implies that a "nudity-mandatory" policy exists solely for people to SEE everyone else naked. Nope.

- "Nudism is about freedom; not HAVING to be naked."
Resorts have policies (no staring, no sexual misconduct, no photography, etc...) that place restrictions of how "free" people can be. So the "freedom argument" is mostly subjective.

- "It shouldn't matter what other people are doing; nudism is about your own comfort with nudity."
I've long suspected that most of the guys saying this are single/solo males; and having been one at some point, I can attest that I was just "happy to be accepted" and didn't care so much what everyone else was doing. But now being a social nudist with my wife, I can also attest that nude socialization feels more comfortable and relaxing - especially for my wife - when the people we socialize with are also nude.

But there are situations where a preference for C/O makes sense. "Newbie-ism" being the primary one; as well as instances where prolonged nudity can be problematic (be it physical or emotional discomfort). But I can't find reasonable arguments against "all nude" beyond that. I think a lot of "all nude" contrarians simply "dislike it" because of a preconceived notion that it "forces" people to be naked "whether they feel like it or not."

When in fact "all nude" venues are populated by people who simply prefer to have a "fully immersive" nudist experience. I have visited both C/O and "all nude resorts"; and in many cases there is a notable difference in "vibe" between the two. When my wife and I check-in at our "all nude" resort, get naked and walk over to our usual spot by the lake - and everyone we see is as naked as we are - there is an immediate sense of kinship and connection. We have friends there, we spend the whole day naked together; and our friendship is enhanced through it. My wife is also a lot more confident and comfortable being naked around people there as a result of these constant/consistent naked interactions. To the point where she would now feel uncomfortable in a setting where a lot of people would be choosing to remain covered.

Well that's my thoughts relating to Lake Como's decision. It gives people more options as far as to how they prefer to experience nudism. And I think "all nude" works well for those who seek a more "immersive' nudist experience. The contrarians can always find another resort; no offense.

Re: About Lake Como deciding to go "nude-mandatory."

Any private, membership organisation should be free to limit or prohibit clothing as they wish. Everywhere else, it should be optional.

OK, I know the latter is not likely any time soon in most places.

I think both models (mandatory and optional) have a place (with both advantages and disadvantages), and many people have a strong preference for one or the other. I have often enjoyed myself in each type of setting. Personally, I prefer the mandatory nude setting, which I find carries a greater sense of belonging. But optional is fine if I'm with friends who are reluctant to embrace being naked (and many are no longer reluctant by the time we leave).

I know this may not be true everywhere, but I also think that there are tons of clothing-optional settings (especially beaches), and all-nude seems an endangered model that I would miss greatly if it disappeared.

Re: About Lake Como deciding to go "nude-mandatory."

Nudony, I want to post about clothing optional versus mandatory nudity. We spent a long holiday weekend at the lakeshore cottage, but I'm disappointed this board seems silent again. We're having wonderful nudist weather: hot sunny days unspoiled by rainstorms make it easier to convince people to try social nudity at least in private pools. Clothes get sweaty and swimsuits make no sense.

So why aren't more people posting? Did COVID kill this board?

This year July 4 falls on Tuesday, so we didn't have to go to work on Monday and were able to spend almost the whole time since Friday evening enjoying nudity at the cottage. Four whole days plus Friday evening. Some of our college friends are living at the cottage since classes ended (they got summer internships in the area) and are having the time of their lives spending nearly all their time nude with their friends except when working at their internships.

When people spend not just a few hours nude together, but never put on clothes for days on end, not just sleeping, showering and swimming naked, but cooking naked, eating naked, doing homework naked, chatting with friends naked, and yes, making out in privacy as boyfriends and girlfriends, it normalizes nudity and helps young couples learn to overcome their modesty and enjoy and appreciate being nude together, not only as boyfriends and girlfriends, but as male and female friends. Several couples staying here for summer internships had enjoyed the spring break trip to Haulover, and everyone was used to seeing each other nude, but the experience of coming home, immediately undressing, and living life without clothes is very different, and very much better, than a few hours nude on a beach.

The secluded cove on the lake where our friends have their cottage is so far away from the main boating areas that on weekdays and most weekends, we can sunbathe nude on the back lawn, and run joyfully down to the dock and jump into the water, without worrying about anyone being able to see us. The closest neighbors are far enough away that they'd need binoculars to see we're not wearing swimsuits, and the neighbors know the cottage owners sunbathe and swim nude and don't care.

Vacation weekends are different. Boats sometimes wander off the main parts of the lake and people on personal watercraft (jet skis) get lost, so we limit sunbathing to areas close to the cottage shielded from view of the lake. When we want to swim in open water rather than the swimming pool, we either wrap towels around us and take them off underwater, or what most of us do is wear long T-shirts, jump in the water, and hang the T-shirt on some hooks on the deck above the waterline. Getting T-shirts off underwater isn't easy but for a dating couple it can be great fun to help each other get them off.

We've gone to the cottage for years and know what to expect, but not all our friends are used to the need for greater care on high-traffic holidays.

It was fun listening to friends who, just a few months ago, were very nervously saying they didn't know if they could get undressed on a nude beach, now complaining this weekend about having to wear a T-shirt to go down to the lake. We didn't have any "close calls," but some boaters came far enough up into the cove that they could have seen, noticed, and commented about a group of nude college students suntanning on the shoreline. That is, of course, why we didn't suntan there. We kept our tanning close to the pool which is hidden from view of neighbors or the lake, and put on T-shirts anytime we got close enough to the lake to be seen by passing boats.

Our college friends did bring a few first-timers to the cottage for the weekend but they came down earlier in the week and spent several days getting used to group social nudity so they were no longer true newbies by the time we met them Friday evening. Also, the cottage owners' adult children visit on major summer holidays, so there was a lot larger group than usual.

We asked the first-timers how they handled social nudity and whether clothing optional would have been easier. As expected, both first-time guys were glad to see their friends nude right away. Their girlfriends had mixed feelings but agreed it was better to "get it over with right away" and get used to being seen completely nude. Both girlfriends described the usual first-time jitters of unbuttoning their blouses and taking off their bras with male friends, and pulling down their slacks and panties as their male friends undressed and revealed their "private parts," then showering nude as a group. Both newbie couples have been seriously dating for quite a while and are used to seeing each other nude, but as we all know, group social nudity with friends is very different from boyfriend-girlfriend nudity, or even being nude on a beach with strangers. It seems to have gone well for both couples and their bashfulness was over before we arrived.

Re: About Lake Como deciding to go "nude-mandatory."

So why aren't more people posting? Did COVID kill this board?

Well I sure hope not.

More than likely some people here don't think they have anything new to contribute. Some have also lost interest and moved on - perhaps due to a lack of topics.
It's true that nudism can get repetitive; but I think there's always something worth sharing.

My nudist activities are also pretty repetitive. For example last weekend my wife and I arrived at the resort around the same time as usual, checked in, walked back over to the car, got naked, grabbed our stuff and walked over to our usual spot by the lake. We knew Adele and her husband were running late, and an acquaintance of ours, "J", was sitting in Adele's usual spot. His wife was participating in naked group yoga on the other side of the resort at the time. So I politely explained the situation to him and he was more than happy to vacate the spot as soon as his wife was done with yoga or Adele arrived; whichever happened first. So we settled down, a couple sitting next to us started talking to us; and my "swingdar" went off. My suspicion was confirmed when they mentioned some of the other venues they'd visited; all swingers' venues. But they were polite, fun and friendly, and did not "push" beyond these "hints"; so there was really nothing to be offended by.

Moments later my wife got a text from Adele saying they'd just pulled in; so I got up and walked over to "J". We started chatting a bit; just as I saw Adele and her husband walking over. They actually disrobe before even checking in, so they're actually never "not nude" once on the premises. As they arrived and we exchanged the usual naked hugs, I introduced them both to "J" before he went to check on his wife; and I pulled the lounge chairs into a semi-circle - which is our habitual way of hanging out. They explained that our two other couple-friends were otherwise busy that weekend. So it was just the four of us. Although every so often an acquaintance or two would drop by to chat; so we were rarely actually alone.

And that was pretty much the tone for the entire day. Everyone naked and social. We shared lunch and drinks. Adele's husband announced to us that his backyard renovation project was complete, and they're ready to host "naked brunch" at their house. So we probably will be spending even more time naked with them. My wife isn't into home-nudism so much; but she is looking forward to it nonetheless, as she does enjoy their friendship. And she's been naked around them enough times now so that she could be comfortable naked with them pretty much anywhere. It took her a while to adjust to being constantly naked in front of the same people doing various activities; but Adele and her husband are almost like family at this point; albeit a "naked family."

So, I just wrote this in mere minutes. And it was all in all a pretty uneventful day; yet I managed to make a "story" out of it. The point in this forum (at least for me) is not to come up with some "new development" or "thought-provoking" storyline (which can be nice too); but simply to relate the "nudist experience" in its simplicity.

I just hope BB and I can inspire others to do the same and keep this MB alive. No matter how "boring" or "uneventful" you think your story might be.

Re: About Lake Como deciding to go "nude-mandatory."

Thanks Nudony. Having another wonderful weekend at the lakefront cottage. I agree with you many people feel they don't have much to share from a "routine" visit to a nudist beach or resort, day at a campground, home nude event, swimming without swimsuits, etc.

I wonder if maybe our younger age, and still having plenty of friends in college and friends in college with friends who are more open to spreading their wings and trying new things, mean we have more experiences to share?

On Lake Como and nude nude-mandatory versus clothing optional. Thanks for the good comments.

We prefer nude beaches to resorts, and feel for many reasons beaches are better, but we know a resort that's nude-mandatory and proud of it. Their website used to say yes, not only you must get nude on your first visit, your wife must get nude, your daughter must get nude, and so must your son. (They may have changed their website.) I know some of their regulars and the ones I know are nice people.

One of their younger women members is a professional colleague who grew up there, and when her parents divorced, her father kept going to the resort. Fortunately for her and her brother, her mother who had custody didn't object, continued home nudism in their own pool, and eventually the man her mother started dating when the daughter was in high school, and now lives in their home (both are hesitant to commit to remarriage), joined them in social nudity including occasional resort visits. Her father remarried a woman who agreed to try social nudity after they'd been dating for a while, loved it, and she joined the resort after they got engaged. The (now adult) daughter brought quite a few boyfriends to the resort over the years, a few in high school but more as a college student and now as a professional adult woman,

My colleague told me even though the off-putting comments on the resort website scared people away, the resort said they were worth it because they scared away problem people and kept the resort family-friendly. She said the resort is WAY more friendly and accommodating with people who are personal friends of trusted resort members and the website was intended for the general public, not "good friends of our good friends." She said boyfriends she brought to the resort, and girlfriends her brother or her father brought when they were dating, were greeted warmly and treated well.

Usually when she brought a new boyfriend, she and her brother and father and stepmother undressed right away in their cabin or RV, and the boyfriend undressed right along with them. The boyfriends knew the nude-mandatory policy of the resort before they came so they knew what to expect and had already worked through in their minds what it would be like to be nude as boyfriend and girlfriend, and with their nudist girlfriend's family and friends.

Many of her brother's girlfriends were also okay with undressing immediately, but sometimes her brother's girlfriends hesitated and asked if it was okay to take a little time to get used to nudity before undressing. The resort's official rule is "no," but first-timers brought by resort members get a little leeway if they stay close to their RV or cabin. For day visitors who don't have a cabin and need to undress in a locker room, it's okay for women to take a little while to get used to seeing nude people before undressing herself. (Guys get a little more "urging" to undress.) Some of the friendly reminders went like this: "Carol, we know you'll soon be taking off that dress, and we'll enjoy seeing you nude as much as your boyfriend does," or "Greg, we know you're new to this, and yes, we noticed your shorts and understand why you've got your shirt off and not your shorts. Maybe you and your girlfriend need some time alone together — that's okay in private but we don't want to see it at the pool or when you're walking around."

(My husband's hint to guys: Undress right away. Do it BEFORE your girlfriend or other women you know. Yes, you will enjoy seeing her nude, but arousal is MUCH less likely, even for first-timers, if your pants and underwear are off and there's nothing for your male parts to rub against if they start to react, so any reaction will be brief if the briefs are off. If it happens, which it rarely does, spend some time alone together and it won't be a problem for the rest of the day once you're used to seeing lots of women nude, not just your girlfriend and female friends.)


Re: About Lake Como deciding to go "nude-mandatory."

My colleague is moderately attractive, physically fit and works out, but not gorgeous. She said her boyfriends usually expected to see lots of people looking like her at the resort and most were glad that many women at the resort are older. Most people drop out of nudism when they break up with a nudist, but one, maybe two, of her boyfriends in college did enjoy it and kept coming after their (amicable) breakups, mostly because they'd been dating long enough to develop a social circle of friends the ex-boyfriend didn't want to lose.

As for her brother, he's been seriously dating a woman since his freshman year in college and nudism is part of what kept them together since regular time swimming nude has become central to their relationship. They go to college close enough to the resort they can get away during the week, not just weekends, to swim. She's invited some of her female friends and says it is great fun to enjoy seeing first-timers go through her own experience from just a few years ago driving into the resort, seeing nude men and nude couples walking around for the first time, watching male friends undress (there's something very different about seeing a man we know get nude, not just a stranger already nude) while knowing in just minutes they'd be undressing too, and then watching a first-time friend going through all the scary emotions of unbuttoning her blouse, taking off her bra, listening to compliments from male friends, and kicking off her shoes, unzipping her slacks, pulling them down, and then pulling down her panties, and watching others in the group undress.

Would that happen so easily at a clothing optional resort if many women and some men remained clothed? My friend says if her resort were clothing optional, most women she and her brother's girlfriend brought would have stayed dressed for most or all of their first visit and some would never have come back for a second visit.

I'm not so sure from my nude beach experience. Most women and nearly all men undress sooner or later, usually by the end of their first day at the beach, though it might take hours. Plenty of women get the courage in small steps, like unhooking their bikini tops to get a tan on their backs while laying on their stomachs, followed by a swim, and taking their top off underwater or maybe the full swimsuit, and then so much enjoying the sensation of water caressing her nude skin by swimming nude that she decides not to put her top back on after waking out of the water topless, and eventually going fully nude.

Something else about full nudity: especially for women, there's often still a lot of embarrassment by women even after taking off her clothes. At pools, when resting after a swim, rather than turning her back to the pool and pressing the front of her body up against the poolside, I try to encourage first-time women to put their backs to the poolside, hold the side of the pool with their hands spread out, which uses the buoyancy of the water to keep her partly afloat while also lifting her shoulders out of the water and causing much of her upper body to be partly visible through the water. Chatting with nude friends in the pool while "lifting and separating" the parts of female upper body that are still underwater, but not by much, does a great job of helping overly modest women get used to seeing and being seen while nude.

Women are socialized about modesty much more then men. "Sitting like a lady" is something very young girls are taught, and in skirts we really have to sit that way, and often we also do sit that way in slacks because it looks more feminine and more attractive for women to cross their legs. Men have more options, but I rarely see "manspreading" at a resort since men know it's rude to show off unless there is a good reason like suntanning.

How does that translate to social nudity? A lot of concern about "proper sitting" and sometimes discomfort by women with maintaining proper upper body posture since it "seems immodest." Plenty of first-time women, even after they learn not to try to cover themselves with their hands, slouch their shoulders.

Learning that it's perfectly fine for women to stand up straight, and be happy and enjoy it when men notice us, can take some time. I feel that "pool trick" of learning to show one's upper body with our back to the pool, and also playing with beach balls that force us to jump and reach out to catch the ball, and feel the sensations of our upper bodies moving around with our physical activity, helps a lot in overcoming false modesty by first timers.

Re: About Lake Como deciding to go "nude-mandatory."

I feel that "pool trick" of learning to show one's upper body with our back to the pool, and also playing with beach balls that force us to jump and reach out to catch the ball, and feel the sensations of our upper bodies moving around with our physical activity, helps a lot in overcoming false modesty by first timers.

100% agreed.

The "pool trick" was actually used by my wife on her first trip to a nudist resort; except it was the hot-tub. It's a good way to get started on the "acclimatization process", since the body is almost fully immersed and therefore concealed. While at the same time being able to connect with the various sensations of being naked.

The "next phase", of getting acclimated to being openly nude, is also IMHO best accomplished through physical activity. My wife accomplished this by going for a walk naked around the resort, starting out in the less populated areas (many resorts are large enough to do this) and working her way over to the pool area. Along the way there were some random individual encounters with other hikers; which allowed her to gradually acclimate to people seeing her fully naked - in passing. As well as embracing all the different sensations of "moving naked." By the time we got to the pool area, she'd found the confidence to walk directly into the crowded pool area naked.
Of course there are many other ways to do this. For my first wife it was a game of ping-pong in the clubhouse. She felt so "energized" by playing naked that her self-consciousness dissipated.

These are "small tricks" that can make a first time a lot less stressful; even though the idea of it might seem initially intimidating. I remember a shy newbie last year saying that her decision to jump into a volleyball game after (reluctantly) getting naked was driven by anxiety; but it turned out to be a great antidote for it. Because you're so involved in the game itself that your body just naturally adjusts to doing it naked; and the anxiety of being seen "that way" just resolves itself.

Re: About Lake Como deciding to go "nude-mandatory."

Would that happen so easily at a clothing optional resort if many women and some men remained clothed? My friend says if her resort were clothing optional, most women she and her brother's girlfriend brought would have stayed dressed for most or all of their first visit and some would never have come back for a second visit.

My wife won't go to a clothing-optional venue anymore.
For the most part it's the idea of being the only or one of a very few women nude outside the pool area naked. She prefers to blend in. And covering up anytime she leaves the pool area would be too "limiting" and a hassle to her.

As much as she initially felt very much "weird" leaving all her clothes in the car and remaining naked all day; being naked while socializing and doing physical activities just became more "natural" for her.

The C/O "dichotomy" of "nude over here but covered over there" doesn't work well for everyone. When everyone around you is completely naked; some people will actually find it a motivator to cast aside their modesty and allow themselves to be on the "same level" as everyone else. And as the level of "naked experience" engaging in various activities and interactions increases, the need to cover up for it decreases. Which is why, when we go to a textile lake or beach and have to wear a swmimsuit...well it kinda sucks!

Re: About Lake Como deciding to go "nude-mandatory."

My primary venue is a place that mandates nudity once you walk inside the fenced pool area or when you visit the hot tub a few yards away.

We had a young woman with an infant visit and the club bent the rules a bit for her, but several women were speaking approvingly as she went from sarong over swimsuit, to bikini only, to topless, to totally nude. She was delighted with her victory over body shame and so were her new friends.

One of our teenagers was a bit bashful and he technically should not have been wearing shorts in the pool area, but he didn't dare wear them in the pool, so he slipped them off at the last minute and hopped in. We would not be as lenient with adult men. We know that our teens are on a journey and he is going to get a lot of affirmation as he matures into an adult nudist. Frankly most of the girls are from nudist families and "nude" is their preferred swimwear. Their confidence sets a high bar for the teenage boys.

There have been couples new to nudism who brought sons who remained clothed in the clubhouse watching sports on television. Their future is not as clear-cut. I hope they make it.

If we were a totally Nudity Mandatory club, these boys would not have that option. And I can see that many people need that mandate to take the leap.

But having a hybrid policy of CO beyond the pool zone and NM inside the fence is what the consensus seems to be in our corner of the world. I would welcome a change to 100% NM.

Re: About Lake Como deciding to go "nude-mandatory."

If we were a totally Nudity Mandatory club, these boys would not have that option. And I can see that many people need that mandate to take the leap.

One of the arguments presented against nude mandatory policies is that people don't want to feel forced to be naked.

Except for some rare instances where someone wore a thong and was told it was against resort policy, I've never heard of someone getting "accosted" by a member at my resort and told to strip naked "right now."

It's pretty obvious from simple observation what the "philosophy" of my resort is. From the moment you park and walk past the pool area to the clubhouse to check in, with a view of the pier by the lake; everyone seen will be naked, or mostly so. And I've never seen anyone run back to their car horrified. Most times it actually serves as a motivator. I've mentioned before a shy newbie we met: who upon arriving at the resort, heading to check-in and noticing that everyone was naked; decided it was easier to just "rip off the band aid" and blend in, rather than get "stuck" in "hesitation mode" and draw attention to it. So she walked right back to her car, got naked and proceeded to check in in the buff.
So people don't even need to be told it's nude mandatory. They quickly figure it out themselves.

Sure, some people might feel a certain way afterwards ("too much too soon") and decide it's not their cup of tea. But at least they will have had that experience.

The "issue" with the sarong is that it can quickly become a crutch. I've mentioned my chat buddy whose wife is now so used to her sarong that she is no longer comfortable socializing without it. We briefly talked about meeting up; and asked how she would feel about possibly hanging out with my wife and our friends - with them being openly naked in front of her and comfortable with it. He responded that she would be uncomfortable, especially if the women's "private" parts were visible (which they often would be since we're so used to lounging around naked together).
The sarong-wearing had in fact made it more difficult for her to deal with full nudity. And that's a shame.