I was reading a post some time ago…from a man who was recounting him and his wife striking a pleasant conversation with a passing clothed non-nudist, while they were naked on a nude beach. The poster was basically celebrating the freedom of being able to interact normally with someone - without any hang-ups about “one” being naked, and not the “other.” His punchline was “nudity doesn’t need to be reciprocated.”

I think it’s great. He got a positive feeling from it.

My feelings about it have always been ambivalent. I have been naked in front of both clothed nudists and non-nudists a handful of times. Many I’m on a “different level” of sensitivity; but I’ve almost always been somewhat uncomfortable with the “energy” in the interaction. Depending on the clothed individual, I’ve either felt vulnerable/exposed; or on the contrary, I’ve sensed vulnerability from the clothed individual faced with my nudity.
One example of the first was when a clothed contractor at a resort started questioning me about being openly naked. I sensed a bit of a derisive tone coming from him; and I couldn’t wait to end the conversation. It made me feel like a “weirdo.” An example of the second was when I was interacting with a clothed newbie at a non-landed club. I sensed that in spite of her “feigned comfort” interacting with me, she was clearly uncomfortable as her eyes were darting around trying to avoid focusing too much on me.

I had a nudist friend who was quite averse to nude/clothed interactions. We were sitting in his living room one day with our respective partners, having a “nudist evening”; when a resort friend of theirs showed up unexpectedly. She was quite agitated, as her husband was AWOL, and she suspected him of having an affair with a nudist “friend” of theirs. She was seeking consolation. When my friend asked her about “getting comfortable” with us, she declined, citing her discombobulation, and that she was going to leave promptly to seek out her husband. She ended up staying for quite a while. When she finally left, my friend was “miffed” that she hadn’t bothered with joining us when everyone else there was nude. I thought that was a bit harsh considering her circumstances; but her presence did have an effect on us. We’d been covering up with blankets and pillows the entire time she was there. Here clothed presence – unfortunately – had changed if not disrupted the energy in the room.

I make no secret of the fact that I personally prefer interacting nude with people who are also nude. I’ve been criticized for it too: “What does it matter to you what people are or aren’t wearing? Are you looking to see them naked?” Well that’s a loaded question. My #1 reason for social nudity is its R&R aspect that my wife and I enjoy together. The #2 reason is to take a break from the textile world, which for us implies an absence of textilism. The “energy” then between myself and the nude people I’m interacting with is “balanced.”

As far as “covered nudist-to-naked nudist” interactions, it can be a completely different matter. If someone is covered at the resort clubhouse for example, I’m not going to shy away from interacting with them nude; because I “know” they’re not “hiding” in most cases: they are either feeling a bit chilly or partaking in an activity they’re not entirely comfortable doing naked (for example pool or ping-pong). But when the shoe in on the other foot, I personally don’t want to be dressed in front of someone naked. For example when I’ve arrived at a non-landed club or our B&B, and someone nude has started talking to me before I got a chance to undress, I will politely ask them to “hold that thought and let me get naked first.” I consider it a courteous – for the nudist setting, and the person talking to me. My wife figured that out on her very first nudist resort trip. She was initially squeamish about being seen openly nude; but when we walked up to the lounge chairs in the pool area, and one lady started addressing her standing up; my wife immediately tossed the towel she was wrapping herself in. She intuitively felt that she should respect the fact that this woman was comfortable enough to interact with her naked – by being naked in front of her herself.

So to address the poster’s punchline, I would simply say that “nudity needn’t always be reciprocated by the clothed individual – if circumstances don’t allow it. But if it is possible for it to be mutual then that option should be exercised.” Just my opinion. There are some people who absolutely don't care what state of attire the person they're interacting with is in. More power to them.

Anyway, that's my thought for the week end. Have a good and hopefully nude one!

Well said. The beach setting described may be the exception rather than the rule. It's more a case of fellow beach lovers being there to enjoy the beach regardless of (non)attire. It's a public setting and both textile and nudist beachgoers know they will encounter one another and are prepared for that.
There may be other exceptions, eg. WNBR cyclists chatting to the crowd, nude rugby players talking to journalists post-match (it happens here!), but these are not everyday interactions.
Under most other circumstances, clothed vs unclothed represents some form of imbalance.

Interesting post, Nudony, about what it's like to be clothed when other people are nude, or to be nude when other people have their clothes on. For both you and Unlikely Convert, I feel your experience at resorts and non-landed clubs makes your experience different from beaches, where at least some interaction of nude people with non-nude people is almost unavoidable.

Most resorts, even if officially clothing optional, expect most people will be nude and everyone will eventually undress with a few exceptions like first-time women, wrong time of the month, cold weather, cooking that can splatter, working with dangerous objects, etc. One resort I've visited says they're not clothing-optional and nudity is expected, but reassures people who call that if one partner is uncomfortable getting undressed right away on a first-time visit, that would be okay. Another resort tells visitors right on their website they need to be nude, and yes, your wife needs to take her clothes off, and so does your daughter, and so does your teenage son. (They might have changed their website since the last time I visited.) I've been to both resorts, both have nice people, but they have really different approaches to visitors. What's the same about both is everyone is expected to be nude, but they have different paths to get to the same place.

Beaches are different. As people walk along the beach looking for a good place to set up their beach blankets, it's not just allowed but common to keep swimsuits on, or even T-shirts and shorts as coverups over the swimsuits, and not just for newbies but also regulars. Nearly all beaches have an entrance route from the parking lot to the beach where people legally must keep their clothes on. Only a few resorts, mostly overseas, are on beaches where people can walk out of their hotel room fully nude, walk down to the beach, and never have a stitch of clothes on for their whole vacation. Many nude beaches have a "nude" and "prude" division where everybody goes to the beach by the same route and then walk one way to get nude or the other way to the textile beach. Some people get undressed right after entering the nude beach area and put their swimsuit in their beach bag, but others want to go far away from sight of the "prude part of the beach" before undressing so they know everyone who can see them is a fellow nudist, or at least chose to be on a nude beach.

The result is less pressure on people to undress at beaches than resorts. Is the young couple walking down the beach hand-in-hand wearing swimsuits and carrying a beach bag "checking out the nudes" with no intent to get undressed themselves, or are they just looking for a good place to set up their blanket? We don't know so most people will be patient.

Still, I'm with you 100 percent on the benefits of everybody being undressed together, and not only BEING undressed together, but GETTING undressed together, including first-timers, and including very nervous first-time women, young couples, families, etc. At beaches there's no choice and everyone has to undress together, in public, in the open air, where not only friends but everybody on the beach can see them, unless they want to take their swimsuit off underwater and walk back to their beach blanket fully nude through dozens or hundreds of nude people. Most first-timers fear that more than undressing with friends.

My own experience on the very few times at the beach or cottage when we've allowed nervous first-time women to wait on getting undressed, it's far harder for them. Letting nervous newbies wait to undress makes things worse. It works so much better for first-timers to face their fears directly, and rather than going into a side room to undress, for them to go through the emotionally difficult experience of taking their clothes off when they're with a group of friends who they know, who they trust, and who will encourage them as they reach the “difficult parts.” Everyone is different, but the most common points where first-time women need encouragement include 1) the first button, 2) the decision of whether to take off their bra or leave it on and take off their slacks, 3) the point when they unhook their bra or untie their bikini top, and 4) when they take off their panties or bikini bottoms and stand fully nude (i.e., naked and exposed) to the whole group.

Men and women were created to enjoy seeing each other, there's nothing wrong with that, and undressing with trusted friends is a great way to let our natural enjoyment of nudity overcome our learned inhibitions and false modesty. Undressing with friends helps overly nervous people get past the "difficult parts" and encourage each other with compliments and assurances that "Yes, we know it's hard at first, but once all you're clothes are laying at your feet, you'll love it, not only being nude but being seen nude and seeing us as we undress."

I've mentioned my first wife in the past; and how she chose to experience social nudism in small "increments", wearing coverage in various slowly increasing levels of "exposure." I had to respect her process of "progressive disrobing"; but at the same time it was clear she was "getting nowhere fast" and was actually making the process more difficult for herself. She got so used to wearing her sarong that even when she got to the point where she wore is very loosely, she could not bring herself to parting with it completely. She probably would have remained "stuck" in a partially naked state had it not been for an "intervention of sorts" by some women at a non-landed club. They made her realize that she would be much more at ease by just dropping the sarong entirely; thus facing her fears and overcoming them in a much more "direct" manner. Encouraged by this, my wife decided to drop her sarong in front of them; and realized that "mutual nudity" was actually much easier than "emotionally wrestling" about how much of her body she was comfortable "showing." Once she was naked with these women, she was actually relieved that there was no longer a "psychological separation" between them and herself.

But, as we know, that can be "easier said then done" for many women (and some men I've seen at the resort, although less often). It can take a great deal of support from one's partner and/or the nudist community.

You are SOOOOOOO right about facing fears being "easier said then done," and that it "can take a great deal of support" to do so.

I don't want to get too explicit, but if (for example) a single woman is afraid to take off her bra, it really helps to have male friends who she knows and likes compliment her, tell her she's beautiful and has nothing to be embarrassed about, and that she'll be even prettier when she unzips her jeans, pulls them down, and stands fully naked in front of her friends. If she's there with her boyfriend, it helps both of them a lot to undress together, let the instinctive enjoyment of seeing each other nude overcome their embarrassment being nude for the first time with other people, learn to enjoy the feeling of warm sun and warm breezes on their nude bodies, and then hold hands together as their friends undress and they learn together to accept that it's natural, normal, and healthy for both men and women to enjoy seeing their friends undress.

Many men don't understand the depth of fear many women have about the physical act of undressing.

Sometimes that's due to poor body image, which in many cases can be addressed by the introductory visit to a resort, or walking along the beach and seeing real live nudists. I've known plenty of women who had a fulfilling and mutually enjoyable intimate relationship with their husband or boyfriend and were perfectly fine being nude with him, but couldn't get it out of their minds that nude beaches must be filled with models. Far from it, we all know, but just because a fear is based on false information doesn't mean the fear isn't very real to the person who is afraid. I know this won't help older women trying social nudity, but most college students and young adults are quite a bit younger and often look quite a bit better than many people at nudist resorts simply because of age. When a young woman who is new to social nudity walks along a nude beach, or sees people at the resort, very often she realizes, "Hey, my friends were right. I really don't have any reason to be embarrassed about my body."

Too often, women who have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about, and are quite attractive, are terribly embarrassed not because of poor body image but because they know people look at them at textile beaches and correctly believe they'll be noticed at nude beaches. The hardest cases? Women who are not only physically attractive, but also socialized not to let anyone but their husband see them nude.

I encourage those women to spend lots of time nude with their husbands skinnydipping and suntanning nude together, not putting on clothes after showering, watching TV together while nude and curled up together on the couch, and other activities to help the couple spend more time nude outside the bedroom. Spending more time nude together outside the bedroom helps things in the bedroom too, and the physical pleasure of nudity, both for its own sake and as foreplay to more, can help overly modest women overcome false modesty. Also, swimming and suntanning at women-only nude swims can help women learn to be nude with friends, enjoy the sensations of outdoor nudity with warm sun and breezes on her skin, and get a realistic idea of what regular women, not models, look like when nude.

I know some people prefer to encourage such women to undress in a cabin at a resort, or a side room of a public building at the resort, and walk out fully nude. It can work. But I really believe it works better to, as Nudony says, give "support from one's partner and/or the nudist community" by talking a very nervous woman through the process of undressing. Some just can't and I know that. But I truly believe the best introduction to social nudity is what comes naturally on the beach — undressing in the open air with encouraging and experienced friends.

I've chatted with many newbies over the years; and there are so many factors involved in being socially nude for the first time (self-image, location, people) that much of that decision ends up being "spur of the moment."

I've talked before about the young lady we chatted with at our resort last year. When she first arrived at the resort, she immediately saw that everyone was nude, including the lady at check-in (this is an "all-nude" resort). Even though she was new and apprehensive, she spontaneously decided to turn around and head back to the car; and undress there. Her decision to arrive "already naked" was spurred by the idea that if she was completely naked from the get-go, it would be easier for her to blend in and adapt. And being nude in front of the check-in lady would "validate" her presence there. She was not wrong. I'd assumed she was an experienced nudist when we first met.
Would she have reacted the same at a nude beach? Probably not since she would have had little choice other than to disrobe in front of other people. A C/O resort? Maybe not either since seeing people covered in the front office might have caused her to choose starting out covered as well. So the "who, when and where" will factor heavily - many times - in the decision as to how and when to undress.

Many times the person might have some ideas as to how they wish to proceed- but then be "thrown" by the reality of the setting. My wife had her very first time at a nude beach, and found it very difficult to get naked when there were so many people there seeing her "stripping." Even with my encouragement, she just kept wrestling with her peeling off her bikini bottom. After it finally came off, the anxiety "getting there" had pretty much ruined her experience. But at her first time at a nudist resort, she found it surprisingly easy to get naked. She just wore a towel to enter the pool area; and all she needed to do was a simple "tug and toss." She could be "modestly" wrapped in a towel one moment; and be completely naked the next. My wife then realized that "flash nudity" worked better for her than a slow disrobing or arriving naked; because she could choose the moment when she was ready to be seen completely nude.

I've asked my wife if she would have felt differently if her first time had been with friends at a nude beach; or at our current "all-nude" resort. And she's not sure. I think that's an honest response. Our friend "Eve" could have probably encouraged her to disrobe with her at a nude beach. At our "all-nude" resort, she might have decided - like the young lady - that "arriving naked" would have been the best course of action. Of course it doesn't really matter anymore because my wife now actually prefers to be fully naked around other nudists. But that begs another question. Would she actually prefer to stay fully naked had we not ended up making an "all-nude" resort and B&B our primary nudist venues? We don't know that either; since it was the consistent interaction with people who remained completely nude that was the primary motivation for her to stay remain naked herself.

But regardless of the disrobing process, support is always necessary; as I think we've well articulated here.

Thanks, Nudony. Your post is helpful.

Returning to your original point on people wearing clothes interacting with people who are not, I'm pretty sure you meant more than how newbies get comfortable getting undressed, but how nude people interact with clothed people.

Many resort office staff keep their clothes on since they have to interact with the postal service, parcel delivery, repair people, etc., who may not want to deal with nude people unless unavoidable. But that's not really the same. Nudist resort staff, even if wearing clothes at the moment, are nudists and I'll see them without clothes, probably soon after the regular "office hours" are over and the staff can join the resort regulars in their activities.

Gawkers are a longstanding problem on nude beaches. Resorts can require people to be nude, or limit when/where clothes can be worn, or be clothing optional with the expectation that everybody will eventually undress if not pressured to do so, but people who are there just to gawk will be asked to leave. When people go to a public nude beach, there's no way to enforce nudity, and it's hard to know for sure if a couple walking along the beach in a swimsuit is there to look or if they're looking for a good place to undress and join the beach regulars in being nude.

A couple in swimsuits usually get the benefit of the doubt. A single guy? Not so much.

That brings us to a new problem on beaches.

The beach I loved so much in college used to be nearly total nudity for men and at least toplessness for nearly all women, and most women were nude. The beach is hard to reach so people have to make an effort, and there are plenty of nice textile beaches nearby that are much easier to reach, so people didn't seek out the nude beach unless they planned to be nude.

Sadly, in the years since we graduated and moved away, the beach changed. More and more women are uncomfortable undressing, or at least being nude while walking around on the beach where they can easily be seen by anyone. Some women are very comfortable swimming nude but undress underwater and tie their (often quite small) bikinis to their arms and both enter and exit the water with their swimsuits on, or at least their bottoms. (Waves have a way of exposing more of women's bodies above the waist than they planned, so women often give up on trying to conceal their breasts when coming out of the water after swimming nude and accept that people on the beach will see them topless, but still tie their bottoms before walking out of the water and back to their beach blankets.

There's almost a social expectation today that women will keep their swimsuits on except when laying on their beach blankets to sunbathe, or to swim. Some women, particularly long-term regulars, still undress right after arrival. But a first-time woman looking around sees most women walking around have their bikini bottoms on, and many are wearing both parts of their swimsuits or even one-pieces.

The reverse isn't true. Men have strong social pressure to undress upon arrival or be viewed as gawkers. So many couples end up with the man fully nude right away while his wife or girlfriend keeps some or all of her swimsuit on, and even if she's fully nude on her beach blanket, if she gets up to walk around, she'll put something on even if her husband or boyfriend stays nude.

Being topless can begin a journey toward full social nudity, and for plenty of college students, that beach is still their first introduction to social nudity.

But when a majority of couples are fully nude men holding hands with women wearing part or all of their swimsuits, it changes the way the beach works. Instead of women having social pressure to undress, they have social pressure not to be fully nude.

That's sad, but with the ubiquity of cell phone cameras, and the easy availability of tiny cameras that can be disguised so no passing nudist will have any idea they're on someone's video, and women fearing where their photo or video will end up, I don't see a solution.

100%.

An online friend of mine once shared with me a story of him visiting a new resort with his wife. When they arrived they both got naked after checking in; but were then quite taken aback when they realized that the vast majority of residents and members opted to remain covered up. His wife found herself the only fully nude woman outside the pool. They tried to adapt to this situation; but eventually his wife "threw in the towel" (ironic choice of words here) after feeling that she was being the "center of attention." So she covered up; and they decided to leave soon after.

At a nude beach, it is not surprising that many women will opt to not undress if the majority of the other women are wearing bathing suits.

It takes a "certain mindset" to attend a public, mixed event like the WNBR. I figure that many of the women there "shut off their brain" to the fact that they will probably be photographed and be naked around a lot of clothed people. Not everyone can do that, fully aware and comfortable with it.

The "nude/clothed" dynamic is a complex one. For me personally, I feel it creates an unbalanced dynamic that will often result in discomfort or tension. That's not to say there isn't discomfort or tension for a newbie being faced with the prospect of being completely nude in front of other nudists. But that often resolves itself - relatively quickly in most cases - through mutual nudity. Being on an equal basis with the people around you bring balance to the experience.

As usual, Nudony, you make great points.

We've been somewhere similar, a clothing-optional resort while traveling. We didn't know the resort but read great reviews, prices were much better than hotels, so we booked a weekend stay.

The weather was "iffy." We arrived Friday while it was still daylight, it was warm though not hot, and when we checked in, once we got past the reception building where staff and arriving guests were still clothed, most people were nude. We went to our rented cabin, undressed, made love (we were still newlyweds and knew that's important to avoid embarrassment if meeting new people when nude), went to the on-premises cafe, brought our dinner outside and sunbathed and swam until sunset, and then were invited inside the resort's clubhouse for some social time.

Like many resorts, most full-time residents were older, many were retired, and many visitors were 40s-and-up. We expected that. What we didn't expect was once the sun went down and the temperatures got to what we felt were still nice but were considered borderline cool for the local area, most local people got dressed, both men and women. We're not great dancers but some of the younger couples, mostly adult children of residents, asked us to stay. Once dancing started, the clothes started to come off but it was a different "vibe" from the natural and innocent nudity earlier around the pool when more people were present.

Most couples were married or seriously dating, not at all a "swinger" place. We've seen nightclubs and dance bars that were far sexier and many nudists would call us "prudes" for being uncomfortable fully nude while most were not, or were only starting to get undressed. Example: we were slow-dancing next to a couple as the husband took off his wife's bra and then pressed up against each other, both wearing jeans but no tops, for the rest of the song. We have to admit it was fun to see a middle-age couple lovingly look into each others eyes while embracing each other and dancing close while topless.

We felt for some people there, we were "eye candy." It didn't help we were new, we were nude, and we were quite a bit younger than most. We took our cue to go back to our cabin when some couples started leaving to spend time alone together.

Back in our cabin, we debated and decided to give the resort a chance rather than leave in the morning. We were glad we did.

Saturday morning when we woke up late (we'd driven a LONG way on Friday) and went to breakfast, nearly everybody was nude. The resort filled up by mid-morning with visitors, many closer to our age, and we had a great time swimming, suntanning, and hiking. We declined a Saturday night dance invite but accepted an invite from a young couple to the on-premises home owned by the wife's parents who were full-time residents, and had a great time nude around a campfire talking about how their resort tries to reach younger people.

We got dressed Sunday morning, checked out, and saw a few other couples who were also dressed up and also on their way to area churches. We drove all Sunday afternoon and evening until checking into a regular hotel in whatever city we were when we got tired, had a good discussion in the hotel, and decided while the resort wasn't the greatest, we were glad we'd gone there rather than a regular hotel. That was confirmed for us when we went downstairs to the hotel pool, knowing we'd have to wear our swimsuits. Swimming was nice after a long day driving, but it was a lot better to go back to our hotel room and take the swimsuits off.

There are resorts where we wouldn't be welcome or we wouldn't want to stay. We research while traveling and try to avoid them. Nearly always when traveling we've had at least "okay" experiences, even at not-so-great places. A day or weekend relaxing nude is much better than having to wear a swimsuit in a hotel pool after a long day driving. Warm water and the muscle movement of swimming are still great after hours of driving, but it's more relaxing and fun if we can swim without swimsuits.

Also, let's not deny reality. I didn't like being "eye candy" at the resort with most guys wearing clothes, but it's not like I don't enjoy visiting nude resorts and seeing and being seen by younger couples if we're all nude together. That's part of why textiles go on vacation in swimsuits that cover very little, and nudists enjoy seeing each other too.

I was perusing some of my old posts, when I realized that although varied, they all are pretty much saying the same things; and coming to the same conclusions. Maybe I need to give posting new threads a break...I don't want to come off as repetitive and boring.

But the common ideas (I keep putting forward) are that - IMHO - the nudist experience is at its most meaningful when:
- it is highly interactive (whether it be with people and/or the natural surroundings)
- complete nudity is considered essential to the experience - and not just an option.

As to the second idea/point, it is actually pretty moot at many nudist venues. Especially where nudity is mandatory/recommended in certain areas (most commonly the pool at resorts), most people eventually understand - or even embrace - the expectation that they will/should be completely naked around other people in those settings.

For men, that expectation is more "pointed." A nudist acquaintance at my resort brought up an "event" from the prior week end; where a newbie couple, after checking in, opted to keep on their bottoms. Before long, they were approached by one of the members. Specifically, it was the man who was approached and told he had to remove his bathing suit; not the woman.
That actually didn't surprise me. Men are expected to not have an issue being completely naked at clubs and resorts; as they are generally regarded as being the driving force behind the couple's attendance. And their complete nudity provides "validation" that they are there for the "right reasons"; which often stems from the desire to provide a safe environment for women.

The expectation for women is not the same; a topic which has been discussed at great length here. And it is important to understand WHY it is not the same. Women are given more "leeway" for very valid reasons. For many women, the path to feeling that complete nudity is "essential to the nudist experience" is preceded by feeling "safe" getting there. In most cases I've seen/experienced, once "newbie anxiety" is overcome to some degree, women will gain some measure of confidence being naked around other people. So understanding where they're "coming from" and giving them the leeway they need will - more often than not - lead to them to choosing to be fully nude.

The "nude beach scene" creates some caveats to everything I just said due to its "optional" nature and open environment. Women feeling "safe" is not as much a consideration. It can be a little trickier to navigate.

Interesting discussion. It strikes me there is a difference between the experience of a newbie and that of a seasoned nudie. As the latter, I have now had enough interactions with clothed people that it no longer matters a great deal to me. As long as they are not uncomfortable with my nudity, I am certainly perfectly comfortable with it.

When it was all new to me, I think it would have had a (negative) effect if I had found myself in a mixed environment. Why are there two types of people here? What are the rules and expectations of each? Which one am I? What will people think of my choice?

As it happened, though, I was presented with just one scenario: though it was a public beach and therefore clothing-optional, virtually everyone was naked. It was immediately obvious that whatever the rules and expectations of this strange new world might be, I would stand out like a sore thumb if I kept my swimsuit on.

Over time, I had more and more mixed encounters, sometimes with people arriving on the beach and just not yet unclothed, sometimes with passers-by with no intention of undressing. Often, it was not immediately apparent apparent which. I think that's how I came to feel it didn't really matter.

Of course, not everyone will have the same reaction to a mixed crowd. I once spent a week on a beautiful, rustic beach where clothing was optional. Many made the cumbersome journey there for the express purpose of enjoying nudity, but many were apparently more comfortable with some or all of a swimsuit on. The two types all mixed comfortably together. My girlfriend was in the latter category.

We quickly fell in with a small group of friends. On the beach, one young woman kept her bathing suit on the whole time. Her boyfriend was often naked but sometimes suited. Another young woman was always naked. We "dressed" to go in for lunch at a rustic beach-side eatery, but for this second woman, that meant simply wrapping a short (and not very opaque) cloth around her hips.

Anyway, my point is that despite being presented with people in various (and constantly changing) states of undress, my girlfriend lasted exactly half an hour before deciding to shed her bathing suit, and she never wore it again on the beach for the whole week.

Something interesting happened that fits the topic.

I was at the resort recently, just sitting with my wife by the lake. Then a woman walked in front of us - that looked familiar. She looked at me; and I immediately recognized my (recently-ex) co-worker. Her face literally froze; and I instantly thought: "I've got to rip off the band-aid ASAP!" So I called out her name (we'll just call her Adele) with an "ADELE!?!" Completely befuddled, she let out an "OMG!!!", blushed profusely while trying her best to remain composed. To say the least, neither one of us ever expected to see each other again; much less at a nudist resort!

To get back to the topic of "mutual nudity"; it just so happened that we were all naked at that time. I don't know how much difference one of us being covered would have made in lessening or increasing the "surprise!" factor; but judging from her anxious reaction, it did seem she would have preferred some "preparation", or some "prelude" to interacting with me completely naked.
But I also think that the fact that we "found" each other - in a naked state - made the experience more meaningful. Because, for one, it immediately put us on the same level. Beyond the initial "shock", we no longer had to worry about "perception"; or "how to be" around each other. The second thing is that it re-defined our relationship; as no longer being just co-workers, but also "nudist compandres." It quickly became "easy" for Adele to also interact with my wife, who was also naked; and for my wife to also interact with Adele, for the same reason. And because that dynamic was established; there was no "hang-up" about us deciding to continue being nude around each other at the resort.

Would it have all happened differently if one or more of us had been covered-up when we ran into each other? It's hard to tell; but I do think it wouldn't have been as meaningful. Because we probably wouldn't have connected as we did. Which in great part was due to the fact that we were all naked.

Thanks for your posts, Dino and Nudony.

I envy you. Even on vacations, except when visiting resorts, even if our hotel is right next to the beach, we usually have to dress to walk from the hotel to the beach. At lakefront cottage we can enjoy undressing Friday evening with friends, never putting clothes on again until we leave. Our college friends who stayed there when the dorms were shut down by the virus enjoyed not just a weekend but weeks without getting dressed. Especially for our Chinese friends who were still getting used to being nude together as dating couples, spending week after week without clothes while doing all the normal things students do — studying, eating, showering, cleaning up, vacuuming, watching TV, talking to friends, etc. — really helped them normalize nudity.

Let's not try to pretend they didn't enjoy seeing friends nude. It's HUGELY exciting for boyfriends and girlfriends to be nude, not just when making out, but 100 percent of the time, every day. It's fun for several dating couples to shower together, race out to the pool together, jump in, spend an hour swimming nude, and then another hour suntanning nude. However, it wasn't long before our friends realized that while their nude showers and nude swims were often "foreplay" for time back in their rooms when they were coming to the cottage on Friday night and spending the weekend, once they were nude not just for a weekend but for much longer times, nudity became normal, and much less about physical attraction for each other and much more about body comfort.

Certainly it didn't stop being exciting. Physical contact of two people who love each other caressing each other's bodies by soaping each other up and rinsing each other off under warm water is highly enjoyable, but they no longer had an overwhelming urge to go back to their rooms. Instead, the women could stand completely naked in front of the mirror styling their hair, or putting on a light bit of makeup, and their boyfriends would be next to them shaving, and while they all enjoyed seeing each other, it ended by going out to the kitchen to fix breakfast, not by going back to their rooms for something else.

Experienced nudists understand normalizing nudity. Many married couples, even non-nudists, understand waking up next to each other nude, showering together, eating breakfast together without putting on any clothes, and if they're lucky enough to have a secluded pool, walking outside nude to swim and then suntanning naked on a lazy Saturday morning, all without any desire to go back to the bedroom. For our friends, being able to spend many days nude as a group helped a lot in learning to enjoy being nude.



I can relate, Nudony. Most of our early experience with social nudity was at the nude beach near our college, so students knew we might meet a fellow student there. It didn't happen often, and most beachgoers had no ties to the school, but we had to tell friends we couldn't guarantee they wouldn't see someone they knew. We often recognize people by clothes and hairstyle, so when nude with messed up wet hair from swimming, it's much less likely people would recognize us unless we know the person well. A wide-brimmed hat is great for concealing a woman's face if she's suntanning on a beach and recognizes a guy approaching.

Still, if we meet someone nude who we know well from non-nude life, we'll probably recognize each other. I have plenty of friends who, as you wrote, "blushed profusely while trying her best to remain composed" after meeting a male friend from class on a nude beach.

You didn't mention if Adele was with a boyfriend or husband. I feel that's really important for women who meet a male friend on a nude beach. Being with a boyfriend or husband and holding his hand gives the woman emotional support, and makes clear to other men that while there's no point pretending attraction won't happen when two friends see each other nude, the woman is already "taken." That keeps the "energy" where it needs to be.

Of course if two single students meet on a nude beach near the college they both attend, physical attraction may lead to romance and that's great. That's no different from students meeting each other on a textile beach while wearing swimsuits and saying, "Hey, he/she looks really good."

She was there with her husband and another nudist couple. She was walking alone though at the time; so she had to "face us" naked all by herself. But I think seeing my wife lounging besides me lessened the anxiety - at least a bit. And her husband wasn't that far away.

With the situation being what it was, I decided to give her some "space" after the initial "encounter" so she could process the situation with her support group. It's not every day that someone you've frequently worked with has just seen you completely naked. When I started sensing that she seemed to have adjusted; I felt it was time for a more "formal" and less tense encounter. So we walked up to them and started chatting; demonstrating confidence being openly naked in front of them (my wife didn't know either one of them so she didn't mind it). My wife also interacting "normally" with them created a positive, open vibe; which affirmed that we were all really on the "same page." Which then dispelled Adele's anxiety entirely.

Would things have turned out differently if her or I had been alone? I think probably. But I think that the fact that my wife and her husband were there, and had no problem interacting naked, lessened the anxiety a great deal; as it took a lot of pressure off of her.

BeachBunny wrote, "I envy you. Even on vacations, except when visiting resorts, even if our hotel is right next to the beach, we usually have to dress to walk from the hotel to the beach. ..."

Just to clarify, nudity was only accepted on the beach itself (at least back then -- perhaps it's different now). Whenever we returned to our hotel or joined our friends at theirs (which was just a shack with some hammocks and no walls) for lunch, we had to "dress" out of consideration for the locals who worked there. It seemed as though we were constantly getting dressed and undressed throughout the day, even though most of us just had shorts or some or all of a swimsuit. As I said, though, there was the one young woman who only wrapped a thin cloth around her hips, and depending on how she moved and sat, it often ended up covering little more than a belt. That made me wonder what would have happened if we'd all been as casual, but it was not our "hotel" so I didn't push it.

Getting back to the reciprocity theme, it was a shame that it was expected to get dressed whenever we left the beach and mixed with textiles. It seemed so unnecessary and out of keeping with the "anything (or nothing) goes" atmosphere of the beach.

I talked about "extended nudism" on another thread. It's one thing to arrive at a beach or resort in the morning, be naked for a few hours, then get dressed again and leave in the afternoon. It's another to be naked for 2-3 days straight.

My wife got an unexpected and completely different nudist experience our first time at a nudist BnB. At first she found it a bit "weird" to just stay naked all day with no timeline. Going to bed naked, then waking up in the morning, showering and having breakfast nude were entirely new concepts to her; in addition to being naked around and socializing with the same people every day. But by the end of the third day it had become completely normal. The experience cemented being comfortable just staying naked - while doing a wider range of activities beyond swimming and tanning. Had we stuck to "C/O day trips", she might not have gotten to the point of fully embracing "doing everything" naked.

I highly recommend incorporating some form of extended nudity - if possible.

Thanks, Nudony, for updating us on how things happened with Adele.

Yes, it's awkward going to a nude place with a co-worker, even if we're planning the visit. There's always the feeling of "We'll never be able to unsee each other naked." An unexpected meeting, as happened with you, can be far scarier. Fear of running into someone unexpectedly at a nearby nude resort or beach is why some people deliberately go to one much farther away where they know nobody and nobody knows them.

Even after I was used to social nudity, for a long time it was still awkward for me to meet someone I knew at the nude beach near our campus, especially if we were both nude at the time, didn't expect to meet each other, and had no idea the other person went to the nude beach. I've been in Adele's position: completely nude, nowhere near my clothes or even a towel, with no way to cover up, and suddenly I recognize a guy I've had in class, or who lived in my dorm, or who worked with me in a campus job. Sometimes we quickly noticed we both had a deep full-body tan, were nudist regulars who hadn't yet met, and were pleasantly surprised to learn we had nudism in common. More commonly, tan lines showed if it wasn't their first time nude in public, social nudity was still a new experience.

Since Adele was there with her husband and another nudist couple, I'm guessing it wasn't her first time, and she was comfortable with social nudity, so what unnerved her wasn't the nudity, but that she wasn't expecting to see a former co-worker nude.

When I've taken friends to the nude beach who unexpectedly ran into someone they knew, it nearly always worked out okay, even if the woman was completely new to social nudity, as long as the guy wasn't a gawker who kept his swimsuit on. The usual pattern was my female friend realized a man was looking at her, she turned to see him, and then had the "OMG" moment you described with Adele, and as with Adele, our friends often "blushed profusely while trying her best to remain composed." Friends fairly new to social nudity often tried to cover up with their hands if she was walking along the beach, or to roll over on her stomach if laying on her beach blanket. At resorts, I've seen women who were sitting down quickly cross their legs and cover their breasts with their hands when a man they know walks by.

And of course, the old standby: if the woman notices the man before he sees her, she can pull a wide-brimmed sun hat down over her face, or roll over, and hope the man won't notice her. Because most women have longer hair than men, once we go swimming, our hair gets all messed up and we may not be noticed when we're completely nude and there are no clues to our identity based on clothing, hairstyle, etc. Unlike men, women can wear dark sunglasses for eye protection without people assuming we're trying to hide where our eyes are looking, and that hides our identity even more.

It's much harder for nude men to hide their identity, which led to fun experiences when some of my friends at college saw male friends walking nude along the beach but the women didn't get recognized.

You said this and I agree it's really important:

Absolutely. The shock is real when we see someone unexpectedly who we know and we're both fully nude.

Even with preparation, there's certainly awkwardness, but it's what I like to call an "adorable awkwardness." I really enjoyed seeing friends from our college dorm nervously undress together on the beach, often not knowing where to look until we encourage them like this: "Kim and Dave, stop trying to pretend you don't enjoy seeing each other undress. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a young man and young woman wanting to know what their friends look like under their clothes. You'll both be totally naked about two minutes from now, and you'll spend the rest of the day nude on the beach, so Dave, stop acting like you don't enjoy Kim unbuttoning her blouse, and Kim, stop pretending to look out at the ocean and admit you enjoy watching Dave pull down his shorts."

Body language in nudism is an interesting thing.

When I called out Adele's name and she got 100% confirmation it was indeed me, her first reaction was indeed "OMG!!" But as it turns out she is also a seasoned nudist. So with that, and the fact that I was reclining nude in a lounge chair while she was walking, she chose to stand directly in front of me with her arms by her side to engage in interaction. I think she intuitively felt that projecting embarrassment/body-shame would mispresent her actual comfort and experience with social nudity. Besides; my wife and myself were also naked, so her open posture also served to confirm that we were all on the same page.

Recalling my first wife's first resort trip, I did get approached by a college classmate right as we exited the hot tub. TBH I didn't remember him, but he remembered me by name. So when he called my name, my wife, not knowing who he was but thinking he might know her as well, immediately stepped behind me while crossing her legs and her arms across her breasts. Typical newbie reaction lol! But: when this classmate saw my wife projecting embarrassment, he became nervous. My wife then sensed his nervousness, while realizing she actually didn't know him; and decided to put her arms down and slightly step up from behind me. But at that point the classmate clearly felt he was intruding; and promptly took his leave.

The body language we project as nudists will often evolve over time (hopefully). I wouldn't expect a newbie to react the same way as a seasoned nudist - when running into an acquaintance.

Yes, body language often signals we're feeling vulnerable because men are seeing us without our clothes. It's one thing when we realize, to our surprise, that a really good friend is on the beach or at a resort and we find out we share something we didn't know we had in common. That can be great fun, even the inevitable "checking each other out." I've had male friends tell my husband (then boyfriend), after seeing me nude, "You're a really lucky man to have Beachbunny." I took that as the compliment it was intended to be.

But especially for women, and also some men, it's scary meeting someone at a nude beach when we're nude, and that person is someone we know, but who we would not want as a friend. Then, everytime we meet that person “in real life,” we know (or think we know) “he saw me nude last month, and now he's undressing me with his eyes.”

Resorts are easier because they're private and most do a background check for visitors. We can assume someone at a resort is serious about nudism. Not so much at beaches. But even at resorts, it takes lots of confidence for a nude woman to walk over to a man she knows, shake his hand, welcome him, introduce him to friends, and say, "I had no idea you came here, great to meet you." That's normal when friends meet unexpectedly at most places, but at nudist places, we can't expect women to have that level of confidence until they are very experienced nudists.

Thanks also, Dino and Nudony, for your comments on extended nudity.



Really sorry, Dino, you had to spend vacation constantly putting clothes on and taking them off again.



I totally get your wife's feeling of initial awkwardness and then enjoyment doing normal things while nude. Back in college, nearly all our nude time was on the beach near our campus, but when we did go to resorts, we loved one thing we couldn't get on the beach: spending a whole weekend nude together.

Remember we weren't yet married and were "saving it for later." So imagine how incredibly enjoyable it was to drive up to a resort entrance, sign in at the front desk, get our keys, go to our cabin, undress together and make out. (We weren't foolish enough to think a young college couple could go straight to the group showers without expecting things to happen if we didn't make out in our room first). Then we opened the door, walked outside, and felt the breezes on our bare bodies, knowing we wouldn't be wearing a stitch of clothing for the next few days until we had to leave to get back to campus for classes. It was great fun to hold hands as we walked through the grass over to the shower building, enjoyed showering together, then went to the pool, swam as long as we wanted, got out, let the sun dry us off by suntanning nude while chatting with equally nude resort regulars and visitors, went to the on-premises restaurant and enjoyed a "date night" nude dinner, swam some more until dark, enjoyed the invitation to an evening dance where most couples were nude, went back to our room, and went to sleep enjoying skin-on-skin contact with nothing between us, We woke up the next morning fully nude, made out before walking over to the shower house nude and showering with several other early-rising couples and families, enjoyed our morning coffee and muffins at the resort's restaurant while nude, and knew we wouldn't need to touch our clothes again all day, or the next day either.

Before we went to that resort we were already nude beach regulars so we didn't expect to be so surprised by how fun it was to be nude together for a long period of time. But it really was wonderful. I can't say it was like a honeymoon. Our honeymoon was much better, and much more romantic, and at a much nicer place than a rustic resort, and more important to us, we were able to fully enjoy each other physically with no sense of guilt, which was important to us in ways I don't think most young couples feel. I wrote more on that, but I think I'd just be repeating things I've said many times.

Reading over this old thread about reciprocity and mutual nudity and extended nudity reminded me of the benefits of getting used to being nude 24/7.

We spent part of the holidays at the lakefront cottage. Our international student friends now regularly stay there when classes are over, most students are gone, and they'd be stuck in the dorms. They had a full week off in November, two weeks in December and two weeks in January with no classes, Being nude together for long vacations has been wonderful in overcoming their modesty. Being able to undress with a group of friends and never put clothes on again for several days, or a week or longer during warm summer vacations, is great for overcoming inhibitions, getting rid of guilt, and learning, "This is really good to see our friends nude all the time, and even better to enjoy being nude with them."

We now understand better why people live in nudist resorts and how nudity is normalized when we spend lots of time doing "normal" things but doing them without clothes.

A few hours at a nude beach or swim party helps, but extended nudity is much better in helping young couples get used to their own nudity and being nude with other people. As a dating couple in college, nearly all our nude time was at the beach near our campus. We rarely visited resorts, but did enjoy arriving Friday at a resort, undressing in our cabin, making out and showering together, walking out of our cabin fully nude, and never needing to get dressed again until we left to go back to campus.

Many dating students in college have to hunt for times and places they can be alone together. Let's not kid ourselves, even couples who are fully committed to "save it for later" need time alone to experience romantic intimacy, even if not a single item of clothing comes off. Spend weeks together in the cottage without needing clothing has been wonderful for our friends.

Yes, the "nude for a few hours" experience at a beach or pool is great too, and a big part is the act of getting undressed, which can be more fun than simply being nude. We love undressing poolside with friends, especially newbies and people who have come only a few times and are still getting used to nudity. We enjoy watching our female friends bashfully unhook their bras and our male friends timidly pull down their shorts, and it's great to see overly modest women, and some men, struggle to overcome their modesty. For first-timers who, even after getting undressed, try to cover up their breasts and pubes with their hands, or who may keep their hands at their sides but are are deeply embarrassed being nude, we remind them that for hygiene reasons, they need to shower before using the pool. There's no way to cover up in the shower and a group shower is a great way to help people overcome their inhibitions.

We've been nudists for years, but it's wonderful to shower as a group with our less-experienced friends as they giggle with a mixture of nervousness and excitement as they shower with friends. That's especially true with dating couples. We remember how scared we were as a young dating couple at a nude beach, and it's great fun to encourage girlfriends and boyfriends as they undress, and as they learn not only to enjoy seeing each other nude but also to overcome their inhibitions and false modesty by soaping each other up and rinsing each other off. That's something we couldn't do at the nude beach and is a great benefit for young couples as they learn to enjoy social nudity.

A young dating couple can be expected to be nervous about undressing together, and even more nervous and embarrassed about undressing with friends. But men and women were created to enjoy seeing each other. Even though social nudity is scary for many couples, especially women, the nervousness and embarrassment of being seen nude gets overwhelmed by the excitement of being nude with the person we love. An overly modest woman may try to deny it, but most enjoy her male friends complimenting her on her nude body, and she learns it is perfectly natural for her to enjoy seeing her male friends and especially her boyfriend without their clothes. Her boyfriend learns that seeing his female friends nude satisfies his natural curiosity about what they look like, and more important, helps him learn to love being nude with his girlfriend.

Of course, after the group shower overcomes their modesty, there are the wonderful pleasures of swimming, suntanning nude, and letting our bodies be dried off by the warm sun and warm breezes. That helps build trust between young men and women and bring them together as a couple.

That brings me to the benefits of extended nudity, not just undressing and showering together, swimming and suntanning at a nude beach or pool party, and getting dressed again to go home.

Some of our international student friends, especially the Chinese friends we've mentioned, had far more "modesty baggage" to overcome than most people we've introduced to nudism. But you'd never know it today. The virus lockdowns forced them to spend lots of time away from campus so they spent most of spring and summer that year at the cottage, and nearly all their time was nude. Since then, they've spent most of their vacation time and many weekends at the cottage. What were already serious dating relationships with boyfriends and girlfriends who were very ready to spend time nude together, but still nervous and feeling guilty in a "we shouldn't be doing this but it feels so great and we don't want to stop" kind of way, has turned into a healthy attraction for each other that has overcome their false guilt and modesty. One couple is married and the others will marry after they graduate. They act like married couples with years of experience in social nudity and that helps a lot as they invite their own friends to the cottage for visits.

We feel many nudists, and also many couples who have been married for a long time, have forgotten how electrifyingly exciting it is for young people who love each other to be nude together. Even at a textile beach, the experience of undressing together down to swimsuits is incredibly exciting for most boyfriends as they see their girlfriend with very few clothes.

I'm not naive and even if I didn't know why my boyfriends in high school wanted to go to the beach with me, their shorts often didn't do a good job of hiding what they were feeling. What many women don't like to admit is we're excited too. I remember, even back in high school, thinking how fun it would be if "Mike," who was obviously embarrassed to be attracted to me, could just pull down his swim trunks and we could enjoy swimming together without our swimsuits. I was too modest, too naive, and too scared back then, but if I were at a beach or resort or pool party today with "Mike" and my younger self, I would tell that young couple they didn't need to worry about breaking their "save it for later" commitment because they are in a group of friends, and Mike should just pull down his shorts, his girlfriend (the younger version of me) should untie her bikini, and the rest of us would join them in skinnydipping.

Skinnydipping came close to happening on a weekend when his parents were gone for the weekend and I didn't need to be anywhere on Saturday. We watched a copy of "Blue Lagoon" together that I'm sure both our our families would have forbidden. We were already in swimsuits, and if Mike hadn't been such a nice and decent guy, and if we hadn't both been committed to "save it for later," we would have skinnydipped in his pool that day. I've often wondered if the guilt Mike felt for being so attracted to me, and which caused him to break up because he felt he couldn't trust himself around me, would have been overcome in a healthy way if we had undressed that afternoon and skinnydipped together. But he was worried where that would lead, and I was too scared to untie my top (though I came close) and we lost the opportunity that weekend.

From our experience, boyfriends and girlfriends spending social nude time together is a great way for young men and women to satisfy their natural, normal, and healthy desires to see what people look like without their clothes. That's even more true if they can spend long periods of time nude together.

What extended time nude together does is take the excitement of seeing our friends nude, and the mixture of excitement and embarrassment of being nude, and normalizes nudity. It's not as if boyfriends and girlfriends stop enjoying seeing the person they love, though some dating and married couples do worry about that. As experienced nudists know, physical attraction doesn't go away just because we're used to seeing our boyfriend or girlfriend or husband or wife without clothes.

Physical attraction is real and there's no point in denying it. But as experienced nudists know, going to a nude beach or resort or pool party or other event with friends satisfies men's curiosity about what their female friends look like, and causes women to accept that it is healthy and normal to appreciate men complimenting them while nude, and to be interested in their male friends as well. Social nudity actually reduces the sexual attraction between co-workers, friends, classmates, etc., while greatly increasing the attraction dating couples and married couples have for each other. Spending extended periods of time nude together is even more helpful in doing that.

Hi, Everyone: In theory, theory and practice are the same, but in practice, they're not.
We have been discussing interactions with other nudists, short-term and long-term, but there's another aspect of communicating with like-minded others when discussing the opportunities of sharing new experiences.
If any of our textile friends might be amenable to joining in, during those moments when we want to discuss the possibility of nudity, if they have not automatically written that possibility off, we want them to be able to discuss it with an open mind.
However, if they have already decided that there's no way they could enjoy the experience, even while they are still dressed, then the discussion grinds to a halt, but if we, the more experienced ones, could gently introduce the possibility of a private, quiet, tea time, say, intentionally to demonstrate the safety with the benefits, the idea may not shock them.
Yes -- yes -- experience is the best teacher, but one convincing conversation is second best.
When our friends can believe that we actually enjoy it, perhaps it is not such a criminal activity.

This is an interesting topic that comes up (and in my own life) every once in a while: "private" introductions to nudism at one's home.

The idea, generally speaking, is that after a rather receptive and positive conversation about nudism with a friend/acquaintance, an invitation is extended - with the option of nudity. Sometimes it's just for one drink; sometimes a dip in the pool/hot-tub (for those lucky enough to have one or both).

I've chatted with a few people who've done it; and the "reviews" have been rather mixed.

One of the questions is: at what point do you get naked, and how? Do you simply answer the door naked right off the bat; or wait until everyone is settled and then propose undressing? It also seems to me that the hostess is disproportionality pressured to undress in order for the female guest to feel comfortable joining. But what if she still doesn't? Would the hostess then feel "on display?" That's what happened to a friend of mine. His wife decided to toss her sarong to get in the hot-tub to "show" her guest it was safe to do so; but the guest still couldn't get comfortable with the idea. The wife then felt uncomfortable being the only naked woman in the room. Not only that but the male guest made a comment along the lines of "Wow...you have a great looking ass!" Which pretty much ended years of friendship on the spot.

My wife and I considered having clothesfree "tea time" with an interested couple of friends. But after further reflections on the "dynamic" of the situation, she changed her mind because of the very "risks" I mentioned above.

Our motto to friends/couples is: "That's the resort where we go; and it's "nude-mandatory". Join us!" We've admittedly had zero success; but it certainly would at least eliminate the uncertainty of the outcome. The undressing part would be simultaneous; thus simpler.

I'm not saying the home/talk approach can't work; I know it has for some people. But I think you have to have a certain degree of certainty as to the other couple's "readiness." Or it could be a stressful situation filled with hesitation and trepidation. Just my opinion.

Great comments, VeryGary and Nudony. They get to whether it's best to introduce people to social nudity in private with two couples or a small group of trusted friends, or whether to go someplace they can be anonymous where nobody knows them, like a nude beach, nude resort, or swim club.

I don't feel there's one right answer for everyone. Some people want anonymity and drive hours to a resort or beach far away from home, or even book plans for a Caribbean or European trip where they can be certain nobody knows them. Others feel it's essential they have support from friends and would be terrified to take off their swimsuits on a nude beach with strangers, but if they trust the people they're with, they feel they can go through with it. Still others — and I feel this is a way larger number than we might expect — wouldn't plan to go socially nude at all, but when they're in a group of friends at a pool and someone decides to go skinnydipping, they say, "What the heck?" and join in. Or maybe they're hiking with friends on an isolated forest trail on a hot day and come across a cool stream deep enough to swim and some of their friends say, "We're hot, and this water is cool, and we don't need a swimsuit." Or maybe they're vacationing and unexpectedly find out the beach has a nude section, walk over to see what it's about, and the husband tells his wife, "We always wondered what these places were like, here we are, these people don't know us, they seem to be having fun, so let's join them."

My own feeling is trust is absolutely essential for women. I love beaches and the open air and the excitement of walking long distances completely nude, and swimming nude in open water, and sunbathing nude with dozens or hundreds of people, or even more on a weekend. But beaches are public, and a few gawkers can ruin things forever for a single young woman who visits the beach by herself. Her first socially nude experience may be the last if her first experience is bad. I've heard too many stories of gawkers ruining things permanently for young women or even for young couples.

The benefit of an experienced nudist couple inviting nervous newbies to their home for a nude swim, or nude hot tubbing, or nude sunbathing, or even a nude dinner or social event at the home during winter, is people trying social nudity for their first time know and trust the people introducing them.

People willing to make plans to visit a faraway nude resort or beach where everyone will be strangers are pretty committed to trying social and will probably follow through on their plans. The people who need help are those who are "on the fence," and interested in social nudity but not yet decided on whether to try it or not. That's where encouragement from close friends is so valuable. I firmly believe trust built on a foundation of friendship is the best way to help people who are interested in trying social nudity overcome their nervousness and get the courage to try it.

For that reason, I'm really sad to hear about this experience from one of Nudony's friends:

Nudony, not sure I understand but it sounds like the male and female guest trying social nudity, if not married, were in a relationship and the newbie woman was very upset her boyfriend or husband was complimenting a longtime female friend on her nude body.

If so, that's a good reminder that for most non-nudist women, and many non-nudist men, when they are nude, they feel they are at their most vulnerable. Nudists usually are understanding and sympathetic to women with a poor body image and assure them that most people involved in social nudity are far from models. Most nudists are, well... average. Why should we expect something else? If anything, the nudist community is older than average and many more men than women participate.

Things are different for women who aren't "average." Attractive women won't buy the argument that "nudists don't look." We know that isn't true in textile life. Attractive women are very aware men notice us even when we aren't trying to attract their attention. We know how men react when they see us in swimsuits, and we can't imagine that men won't react even more when we take the swimsuit off. Also, if the experienced nudist woman inviting an interested but nervous couple is more than ordinarily attractive, the newbie husband/boyfriend **ALWAYS** has questions about physical arousal, and his wife/girlfriend has understandable worries about the man she loves seeing a female friend nude.

Mishandling that can wreck a longstanding friendship, as happened with Nudony's friends.

(CONTINUED)

It was a married couple. From what he told me, the "guest wife" chickened out; but the husband did not and got naked. The hostess was wearing a sarong and was a bit hesitant to be the only woman naked; but nonetheless decided to drop her sarong to climb in their hot-tub (I'm guessing they were all sitting on the back porch). The "guest husband" had quite a bit to drink; and as the hostess climbed into the hot-tub: he made the comment. The hostess immediately got uncomfortable; which "triggered" the host (he made no mention as to the "guest wife"'s reaction). It ruined the experience to such a degree that the host stopped speaking to his friend.

I can't tell for sure; but I think that situation may have (possibly) been averted. Women tend to be more comfortable around women; so I think them hanging out separately - at least at first - would have been more beneficial. I don't know that seeing both the host and her husband naked "right away" caused her to "chicken out"; but I don't think it helped with her anxiety either. My first wife, for example, spent some time naked with other women before being ok being seen naked by their husbands.
So heading to the back porch, without the husbands, and then the hostess dropping her sarong and proposing the "guest wife" join her in the hot-tub might have yielded better results.
The husbands could then have joined them later; after the two women were already in the hot-tub. With his wife being naked too; the "guest husband" might have felt less "compelled" to comment on the hostess' anatomy. Of course, we don't know for sure; but I've seen newbie husbands tend to be a lot more focused on their wives/GFs being seen nude for the first time by others, than other people's nudity.

There is not "exact recipe" for these type of introductions (perhaps others can chime in), but that's the way I would go about it.

(P.S. I would also take alcohol out of the equation. "Liquid courage" can be helpful in moderation; but if someone has to get plastered to work up the courage to get naked, it can backfire tremendously).

Thanks, Nudony, for explaining more. Sounds like "liquid courage" was a big part of what went wrong. Yes, a glass of wine can help overcome inhibitions, but horrible things happen when alcohol is in control and we aren't. It's good to overcome our inhibitions about taking off our clothes with friends, but we still need to "inhibit" bad behavior. Sexual comments about other people's body parts almost always are bad behavior. Alcohol can loosen the tongue in ways that **SHOULD** be inhibited, especially when people are nervous about being nude, and are learning how to trust each other in a totally new situation of learning how to converse with friends when none of us have clothes on.

Trust is so important. Especially for women, when we are nude we feel we are at our most vulnerable.

What do people say about their first time nude in public? Often, "I felt so exposed." Exposure can be good: "My skin felt so bare and I could feel every tiny breeze, and the warm sunshine all over." But also: "I felt the eyes of all my friends looking me all over." Compliments and encouragements from trusted friends help: "Julie, you have no reason to be embarrassed of your body, that bikini bottom isn't hiding much of anything, we already see your breasts, so just pull it down and we can go down to the water and swim together." Saying "Wow...you have a great looking ass!" — probably not.

It's no secret many women are deeply insecure about their bodies. True, social nudity can do wonders to help overcome that, but for plenty of women it's difficult even to get used to undressing with a man we deeply love. In marriage, of course, a woman has a very deep level of trust for her husband, and a married couple undressing together should be responding to each other sexually. A woman who feels her body is somehow "not good enough" will be reassured by her husband's compliments on her body, and his physical reaction to her proves to her that his words aren't just polite flattery but that he really is very attracted to her. Most people reading here are married or in committed relationships so we all know physical intimacy, even when dating couples stop short of intercourse, is very exciting, is both physically and emotionally pleasurable, and does a great job of helping nervous and overly modest young men and young women overcome their inhibitions and learn to enjoy seeing each other nude, touching, and physically responding to each other.

It's different for young women and young men who are just friends, not romantic partners, learning to be socially nude together in a group. The male first-time nudist guest of Nudony's friend is far from the first man who enjoyed seeing a female friend without her clothes, but telling a female friend she has "a great looking ass" won't work with most women.

My own experience is because I'm married, far from making obnoxious comments on my body, male friends worry they may say or do something to offend me or my husband. I tell them, "Don't worry. The nude beach near my campus was the main place we went nude the whole time we were dating and engaged as college students, so I've had guys respond every way you can imagine. We're friends, and nothing you'll do will offend me or my husband."

I think it's harder for dating couples. Our wedding ring causes people to treat us differently. Men who are attracted to me feel they shouldn't be attracted, especially with my husband standing right next to me. On the other hand, women feel a little less uncomfortable knowing their husband or boyfriend, even though he's watching me undress, knows I'm a married woman, knows I'm very used to seeing other men nude, and knows I'm not interested in the man she loves. It's also easier for my female friends to undress with me and my husband than with single guys.

We all have our own fears and inhibitions. I've said this before, but during the "coffee shop heart-to-heart chat" we try to have one-on-one with a first-time couple, we usually ask them to visualize what it will be like for them to undress with us, and then to spend a whole day lounging around a pool, suntanning, swimming, eating lunch, and doing all the other things couples do at a pool or beach, but doing them nude. Asking "Julie" to visualize in her mind what it will be like for the four of us, not to be drinking coffee together wearing office clothes in a coffeeshop after work, but for Julie to watch her husband take off his clothes, and then for my husband to take his off, and then for Julie to watch her husband watching me undress, and then for Julie to take off each item of her own clothing as her husband and my husband watch and encourage her — that visualization helps a lot in getting a young couple ready for their first nudist experience.

I've written more but feel I should stop here and let others reply.

I think I would have said something to the guy on the spot. If shock stopped me in the moment, I think it would be worth addressing later. If he's never called on it, he's likely to think it's ok.