Basically, I'm in my 30s and very happy, (relationship-wise and with my career and family) but something that happened in my childhood recently popped into my head and it's made me very uncomfortable.
To cut a long story short, I have a younger brother who is 8 years my junior. I love him to bits and we're very close. However, something that I had forgotten about (for decades) popped into my head a few months back. When I was 11 and he was three I used to practice kissing on him. It didn't seem wrong at the time. Much like playing with dollies. It never went beyond that, apart from one time, after seeing something on television, I got him to fondle my breast area. I was just copying what I had seen and wanted to know what it felt like. I guess it was just experimentation.
I had completely forgotten all about this and suddenly it came back to me a few months ago. I was devastated about it and felt physically sick. How could a person be so awful? That's all I keep asking myself. I keep thinking I might have damaged him. I guess what I'm asking you is, did I abuse him or was what happened fairly normal? Through looking at your forum I see some people have had similar experiences. I know I was a little girl, but this doesn't comfort me. I just want to stop feeling so terrible. Please can you offer some insight into this and explain it to me so that I can move on with my life and stop feeling so hideously guilty.
Also, it's probably worth mentioning that I come from a very religious family, so I attach a lot of guilt to anything to do with sexual behaviour. This may have added to my stress about the situation. I also don't feel like this is something I can discuss with him. I don't even know if he remembers it and I think that bringing up something like that would destroy the great sibling relationship we share.