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borderlines, sociopaths and relationships

i am 25 and recently started seeing a man I suspect is a sociopath. he tells me he's left his ex but I can never be sure of anything. I have mild borderline pd and accept him as he is. does he understand me or will he drop me like a hat when he sees fit? he says all the right things but I don't trust him or anyone. Is it fantasy to think that two people with personality disorders (with similar symptoms) are best for each other? or is my disorder fogging up my perception?

Re: borderlines, sociopaths and relationships

I don't believe ANY disorder would fog up what works or not. And yes, it is fantasy to think that two people with personality disorders are better off.

If you don't trust him, but choose to stay with him, then shame on you. Your gut is saying go, then go. As for him and his being a "sociopath", if you are aware of what sociopaths do, then why ask this question at all. Of course he will drop you, it's the MO if they are bored. This is based solely on the fact that you believe him to be one. You answered nearly all of your questions on your own, I'm just here to reiterate.

Incase you got lost somewhere along the way:

YES, fantasy to think two personality disorders are better off together.

YES, he will drop you like nothing if you are no longer sufficient, assuming he's infact a "sociopath".

NO, your "disorder" is not fogging up your judgment. I think you're using the disorder as an excuse to make obviously irrational decisions.

Hope this helped :)

Re: borderlines, sociopaths and relationships

Almost everyone here suspects, or outright declares, that their spouse is a sociopath, most cases they are not. You go online when you catch people lying and with the searchwords you get 'sociopath'. Look, people lie, cheat and steal, you don't need to be a sociopath for that. Also, there is no *symptoms* for sociopathy. You, like everyone here, has seen the stupid list of symptoms associated with sociopathy but i can guarantee that most people fit almost half of those listed if they think about it. So please, get rid of the mentality that he is somehow a sociopath, being a liar doesn't make you a sociopath.

As a side note, i hope you stick around. Bordelines are interesting. :)

Re: borderlines, sociopaths and relationships

haha, interesting ain't the word!

thanks for reply. i'll definately take it all on board.

Re: borderlines, sociopaths and relationships

Being a liar or sexually promiscuous does not make you a sociopath, though they may be common traits shared by sociopaths. The typical definition for a sociopath implies a lack of guilt or remorse. That being said, sociopaths are incredibly good at concealing this deficiency. Even the best would have trouble identifying them. It is possible that he is indeed a sociopath, and it is possible he is not. Without more information it is really impossible to tell. If he is a sociopath, he will drop you like a hat made of lead if he sees fit.

Also, the others who have replied have it right in that having a personality disorder does not make you more compatible with others who also have disorders. Sociopaths in particular, seeing as how they are incapable of forming any real emotional connections should be avoided especially concerning intimacy.