All of us want some level of organization and predictability in our lives. For example, I expect my computer desktop to look in the morning the same as when I left it the previous night. If during the night someone came in and rearranged all the folders so that I could not find what I was looking for, I would feel upset for sure. If that person then told me that she was only rearranging things to make them better for me because she knew that I, being a disorganized person, would benefit ultimately from learning to be more methodical in my approach to life, I would feel angry--angry for not being seen and appreciated for the way I am, not the way she wants me to be--and angry for having my world upset to bring it into accordance with someone else's ideas of how I should live.
I imagine you are the same about aspects of your life and your space--you want and need a certain level of order and predictability according to your own definitions and desires, not someone else's. Please try to understand your daughter from that point of view. Yes, her autism makes her different in certain ways, but not in this one, which should and must be respected. I have never met a human being who did not desire to have some level of control over her own space.
I do understand that you hope to teach this young woman to be different from the way she is, and that you imagine that changing her approach to life would be for her own good, but go slow please. Force is not the way.
p.s. Well done, xXx.
The problems presented by autism are many and varied, and I certainly do not have a solution or quick fix for any of them. I did not say that you should refrain from trying to help your daughter to find ways of being more integrated into the larger cultural surround, but that you should go slow and minimize the amount of pressure and coercion. Although your daughter's emotional needs may seem bizarre and quirky, most of them really are no different in kind from the needs of any of us--just their expression is different, and if this is understood you may find more effective and gentler ways of trying to help her meet them while becoming more integrated socially. I know this is a challenge, but what else can you do?
To answer your specific question: I do think you should have guests in your home whenever you like, but you should not, in my opinion, ever coerce your daughter into interaction with them. It is her right to avoid such contact is that is what she wants or needs.
I sympathize with your situation which certainly is difficult and seems to have no real resolution. I simply suggest that you go slow with any changes of routine while trying to see things through her eyes when possible. If you think I am wrong about this, I suggest getting other opinions from autism experts (which I am not).
You put that very well. Thank you... both of you.