You remind me of my mother. She's very sociable, a people pleaser to be honest. She always pushed me to mix with people who were not very nice to me. Even when I said I didn't want to. She made out that there was something wrong with me. Even thinking about it now really upsets me. For all her love and affection, her need to please others has really affected her relationships with me and my other siblings. It's gotten to the point where I've accepted who she is and I've accepted who I am. I'm naturally a quiet person. I like my own company. That's not a bad thing. In fact her insistence on forcing other people on me has made me even less sociable. Almost like a reaction against her. A reaction to protect my own personality.
Your daughter is 19. She's an adult. She keeps to herself and stays in her room because she feels happy there. She feels safe. Do you want her to be unhappy? Because from the letter she has written you, she clearly is. You can be proud of her without physically showing her off. She plays the harp. That is amazing.