Your first mistake was dating a guy through a divorce. I hear that it is almost always a good idea to wait for a year after a divorce is finalized before entering another serious romance. The reasons should be obvious to you at this point. Second, per you, he point blank admitted that he still loved his soon to be ex and implied that he'd rather be with her. Third, he was living with her over almost the entirety of your brief relationship. Surely you had to realize that would put a cramp in your dating. Fourth, of course he wasn't going to include you in his plans with his kids! Your relationship is fairly new and the divorce papers haven't even been drawn up much less signed and sealed! For all you know, they might even get back together. Finally, I disagree with you. It's perfectly normal for people to let their emotions blind them. You allowed your feelings to keep you from seeing that your boyfriend is still enmeshed with his wife and children (which is indeed also normal) and that he would not be available to you in the way that you wanted.
Thank you for your reply! I totally agree with you, but he is the one who approached me and he is the one who wanted a relationship with me. I guess I thought that maybe if he was dating someone else, he would learn to forget about his situation. But yes, that was probably wrong of me. But thank you for your input!
You are welcome. I do not think you completely understood my reply so I will repeat it in brief and simple words:
When you concentrate on getting what you want, you miss the bigger picture, and in relationships, missing the bigger picture is a recipe for unhappiness.
Yes, You are absolutely right, I do want things different... What woman wouldnt. That is not being selfish. The thing is, he told me he was falling for me and wants to be with me. Then he tells me that he is starting to hate her. So your in love with her or you hate her, which is it. And as far as the kids go, I am concerned very much for his kids. His kids are way too young to understand what is going on at ages 5 & 8. There father is living one place, while them and the mother is living another place. We do things together as a family, so hmmmm maybe mom and dad are going to start living together again. So many questions those kids must have. It is one thing wandering what divorce is, but really confusing them about still spending time together as a family. And... No, i do not only think of myself. I left him so that if there is a chance for them to get back together, I wont be standing in their way. Plus it gives me the chance to find what I am looking for instead of wasting time on something that will never happen. If that is selfish, then... Whatever. But thank you for your reply!