Re: Husband molested siblings in childhood... should I be worried about our kids?
I am so sorry for your situation. And indeed it is a hard one. Have you tried sending an e-mail to Dr. Robert himself? Because this kind of case really needs a professional review.
I get really bad feeling in my stomach out of these kid of stories. It's like all the happiness from the world has vanished. I am in no way competent enough to give you any kind of advice, but I can tell you my opinion, from one person to another, from a woman to woman.
For starters. If your husband was indeed raped by the age of 12 it is a dreadful thing to happen. Didn't he tell you the details?? Was it truly rape. By that I mean, it was not mutual in any way? If that is the case, your husband was by MY NON-PROFESSIONAL OPINION a "sexually-reactive child". A child that reacted in a sexual matter because what himself has been through. So it is a symptom in my opinion. What did he do to his siblings? Did he hurt them, penetrate them? Or just touching and stuff.. I am reluctant to accept a 12-year old child is a demon. He couldn't even be prosecuted in my country for lack of age.
But what he has done now is what I would be most concerned about. It is COMPLETELY inappropriate for him to have such activities online. In my opinion, if you both haven't agreed on having such type of relationship, he should not indulge gay and especially not under-age girl relationship. And from your words I take that you were in no way warned of such activities from his side.
I believe most people would tell you to get your daughter out of the house and run for it. It seems like a wise thing to do. But I would have a big big talk with him. I would tell him, "Don't you want a new life, starting over, without all of the dreadful past events".. "don't you want your daughters to grow up much better then you did, and without anything bad happening to them, don't you want to protect them"..
It seems to me that your husband is being very much drawn to a lot things sexual, probably because his life was from the early age scared with this deviant sexuality, and the label he was given. He needs to get out from that shell and release that past life and live to best to his abilities. If you have any resource i would write you both down for some counseling. Especially him. You can not resolve a hard case like this form anything you get online. I wish my best to you..