Here it goes. When I was 14 in several occasions i would let my pet dog lick my privates. First time it happened spontaneously and after that I would look for it. I was never forceful or commanded him on it. He would just spontaneously come and do it if I took my clothes off. I never wanted to hurt him or anybody for that matter and felt bad for it. But the feeling in this experience felt so good and I guess happened a bunch of times. By the age of 15 we gave the dog away and I'm not sure if that's the reason it stopped or by my sole decision. But I never had incidents like this again and I am now in my mid 20s.
I have forgotten about the whole thing until recently when someone told me a story about a girl who got caught on Oprah Show being licked by a dog and actually killed herself because of that. Memories came in at that moment and my world fell apart. I have no idea what to do, who to talk to. I feel like a criminal and a animal abuser. I guess I became a bestiality indulger before even knowing what bestiality is. I feel bad. And reading it up online is not helping cause people have nothing but words of hate and death wish for people like me. I don't know what to do for myself or who to turn to. If I go and speak to a psychologist I presume he would only tell me it was wrong, illegal and shameful. I'm ashamed of my own existence.
You didn't do anything wrong, believe me on this :) You didn't abuse your dog, animals don't have morality as humans do so for it it was ONLY a kind of play, not ANY different than any other play.
Glad you asked that question because I did the same thing - one time - with a friend of my parent's dog and it's haunted me ever since. I was so horny - I think I was 13-14 years old and just going into puberty. The doctor's response made me feel SO much better.
I want to forgive myself but I'm not sure I have the wright. If it's illegal and you are saying to me these things sometimes happen. Who should I listen to???????? The anxiety about the whole thing is getting a kick out of me. It hurts so much.
It is not about having the right to forgive yourself, but a question of understanding what Doctor Robert said. Remember that this is a man who has years of experience in dealing with human development, human sexuality, and human suffering. Remember also that he is a trained and credentialed professional who has studied these subjects deeply. In other words, GoneBad, it is time to stop putting your faith in all the ignorant moral judgments you have been taught (sexual pleasure is bad, for example), and instead listen to the words of an expert:
"Children who are just coming into puberty often experiment sexually in various ways, including playing around with animals. This kind of play with animals is not necessarily "bestiality," as it would be when carried out by an adult, but more often the kind of innocent exploration, akin to masturbation and playing doctor, needed by all children in order to come to terms with their growing sexual needs." [italics are mine]
And I respect everything you said. But it still doesn't change the fact that people go to jail for this. How could i do such a thing. I only had the luck of not being caught. The pain in my chest is so great I actually feel my heart is going to stop this very minute. I would go and see a therapist but I am afraid and ashamed. :(
See the therapist. You need it. Believe me. And people do not go to jail for what you did. That is ridiculous.
You made me laugh.
And I didn't laugh for a while now.
I get it. I'm just one of those "overwhelming guilt people". I reject religion and God and heaven but act like I want to be first in the line for all of those things.
p.s. and Renee - Bestiality is illegal to my knowledge.