I have a hard time relating to this. I couldnt even finish reading it, too complainy/victimy ( what excuse is there for living with your parents at 30? what could possibly go wrong by making a little trip etc). I just think, what is there to lose in your life, just lots to win? You can open up on this forum, maybe write your therapist the exact same note so she can get you started? Dig up your ego and free yourself:-)
Well, I disagree with Disney. This is not about being a victim, but about shame, which for many people is a difficult problem.
I suggest that you write your therapist a letter about this. Be as honest and open as you possibly can be about your doubts, fears, difficulties in opening up to therapy, and especially about your shameful feelings of failure and inadequacy . Then, at your next session, simply read it to him or her. If your therapist is any good, he or she will know what to do.
You know, entering into therapy can feel a bit like trying to jump into to some very cold water for a swim. At first it seems impossible, and so you just put one toe in. But if you will simply force yourself to jump in, after an initial shock, the water may feel just fine.