A half-hearted remark met by such hostility! It's funny. Seems like i struck a nerve.
EDIT: You should check the "Defense mechanisms" thread for some insight. ;)
Without seeming harsh...may I ask what the original question was?
Is it why are you sick to your stomache after what you experienced?
Maybe, your feelings are hurt. Afterall, wouldn't we all prefer to be wanted more than a porn video? I know I would. Real life is not as nice as our dreams.
sure jodartha, the original question was why did my boyfriend use porn online when he was at my house visiting me. I understand men like porn in general but he wasn't alone, he was with me and I felt he was sneaky about it. To me that is something he should do alone, plus we didn't even make love after that that night.... I wasn't in the mood anymore.
Of course we are wanted but there is something about the porn. I know he watches hardcore porn and did more frequently before we were in the relationship. I think something happens to men when they become used to/ desensitized by hardcore porn.
haha hexi. i don't get you! But I hope you are doing well.
i still think it's not me getting the point, but you. you want to know why he doesn't want to have a wank WITH you when you're around and technically available.
that is possibly because the "very happy sexual relationship" you two are having according to you might leave him unsatisfied in some way, just as you are with the morning sex issue. Or him masturbating.
It might ALSO just be that he fancies a self-induced orgasm (I, too, think of my hands as incredibly skilled and hassle free lovers who can't do wrong - to myself that is!). And as I pointed out that is none of your business what so ever...
He somewhat made it your business to do it while you're around. That MIGHT be an indicator that he wants a change in communication.
So now. My reply was not hostile, but some what kept in a joking tone. The fact your defenses suddenly ring flood bells and you feel made fun of is both funny and a good sign for you feeling really damn insecure about the whole thing.
Now that you already feel attacked, I might as well go and tell you to talk to your friggin partner about this and not a random online community: he is the only one who can answer your question. And you might also want to prepare because you really might not like what he says.
ALSO: "Adult men (and women!) usually take pride in pleasing their partner and anyone who does not somewhat strikes me as a bloody egocentric, fairly immature and possibly not a good partner, no matter how hard one auto-suggests all is fine, sex is great, love is mutual." is a full sentence. grabbing a phrase and upsetting yourself about it is childish in my eyes. What I meant was:
I think you're kidding yourself if you think that that relationship is all fine if you two are not communicating enough to resolve problems beyond the point of agreeing to disagree. "he's just a man, man are like that". Tell yourself what you like but either you go and talk to him, find out if you're kidding yourself in to believing all is good because you WISH it to be OR you just deal with him wanking while you're about and let it turn some more sour.
On the other hand, never mind. I guess this is your very own lesson and usually that one has to be learned by falling flat on your face hard before the change in honesty and openness can make it's way from within.
I suppose you didn't read my earlier replies in this thread?
yap i did.
In that case, i'm happy to make you feel like an angel. I'm here to please.