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Re: How to start living life again..

I will be a sincere friend. And I have endless tolerance as you probably know.

Re: How to start living life again..

Well, I read over your comments again, and I can't promise that I won't suggest the obvious to you. But I thought I would honestly try to give you some inspiration for living life again.

Have you ever looked back and remembered something that genuinely inspired you? In my case, one example is traveling to distant places. I have traveled all over the globe. I have a particular fondness for deserts (Israel, Egypt, New Mexico, Arizona). I can't say why, but if you put me near a desert, particularly if water (or the Mediteranean) is near, I get a particular sense of being part of something greater. I think that it is easy to feel superior to the universe, or forget that there are others around us, but when I see the sky particularly in a desert setting (no trees to block view), I am reminded that we are small indeed. What does this do for me? Remind me that there are greater things to know than what revolves around in my brain on a daily basis. You don't have to like people much to get this feeling. And interestingly, you can share it with someone too.

Another suggestion: Why not decide to teach yourself something that is challenging to you? Learn a new language or if that is too people oriented, try martial arts given it requires discipline and physical challenges. I know that my ideas are probably boring to you, but it is just my thoughts on what would work for me.

Often times it is the first steps that are the hardest. That is a giant generalization, I know, but the fact is that it is true.

If all of that seems like too much effort, consider that maybe you could be down (forgive me if I call it depressed) or apathetic. If that is the case, try a jump start...I do that by using a 5 hour energy, staying up all night and going on a small journey. Sometimes it is the strangest moment that brings the greatest moment of growth.

Now I know that I am not like many people here, or maybe I am, I can't say, but I do honestly care, and just wanted to offer some suggestions to both of you. They work for me...and some times I have felt just as you have Hexi. Maybe for different reasons entirely, but the emotions are similar nonetheless.

I hope I don't get a bitter response for my wordy reply. But hey, even nurturers like me, care. For whatever reason. You never know, unless you try. Worse case scenario...try fishing. It helps. Particularly with beer if you are old enough:-)

Re: How to start living life again..

i really feel simiral way so you are not alone :) would you like to chat sometime ?

Website: .

Re: How to start living life again..

Hexi
As the title of the thread is accurate, i'm not going to make a new thread. So, how to go out and start living again after a self-imposed isolation? I don't want to go back to my old life as that will surely lead to prison. I don't want to go back to playing with others as i've grown bored of it. I wake up, every morning and feel absolutely nothing. I get up, go for a smoke and think what to get upto today. I have no job as i can't be bothered with the benefits we get here in Finland (socialism works for me) and i can think of better use of my days than to do something i loathe. I've recently gotten in touch with some of my old friends so i might just take it from there but i'm not sure exactly on what to actually do. Don't get me wrong, i have no social anxiety nor am i uncomfortable around people, i just find people in general uninteresting. So if anyone has any ideas, shoot but please, spare me the usual platitudes. I think it's time i go out into the world properly again as i'm getting bored.

I see, I see. Of course, you could get any job you wanted but you just don't want to. It's not like you're a slacker or anything. It's not like you're so lazy that you need to spend all your days infront of a computer instead.

Not like you're detached from reality either, it's reasonable to want to have world war III after playing CSS for long enough, right? Or to want to be a samurai. Or a professional assassin LOL.

Yeah you don't have social anxiety, you're not antisocial in the least! It's just that you rather play on your computer than talk with "half-wits", dwarves, dragons and whatnot. I'm sure you could get a girlfriend quite easily, too. But hexi, you just don't want to, do you? Too much trouble, yeah.

I suggest reading Dr Robert's topic about defense mechanisms. I'm sure you would make a very interesting discovery about yourself. Just in case you don't, I'll just outright spell it out for you. Let me tell you what you are. You are not a wolf. You are an incompetent dog fed by your betters - out of pity. A drag of society, a low-life with no sense of goal. Someone who couldn't fend for himself for five minutes if left alone. Were it up to me, you'd have starved a long time ago. You're someone that needs waking up, you should be thanking me.

But I guess even fuck-ups like you are human, so I should probably leave you alone.

Ps. I just spent 10 minutes writing something that will ring to deaf ears.

Re: How to start living life again..

Toby

I see, I see. Of course, you could get any job you wanted but you just don't want to. It's not like you're a slacker or anything. It's not like you're so lazy that you need to spend all your days infront of a computer instead.


Ofcourse i couldn't get every job i wanted, just electrical work. I also don't sit ALL day at the computer, just more than most i guess. Should i watch TV instead?

Toby

Not like you're detached from reality either, it's reasonable to want to have world war III after playing CSS for long enough, right? Or to want to be a samurai. Or a professional assassin LOL.


I have never in my entire life played counter strike. I dislike shooters. So everyone who owns a sword wants to be a samurai? lol? That's wolfie, not me. I don't "want" to be an assassin either haha.

Toby

Yeah you don't have social anxiety, you're not antisocial in the least! It's just that you rather play on your computer than talk with "half-wits", dwarves, dragons and whatnot. I'm sure you could get a girlfriend quite easily, too. But hexi, you just don't want to, do you? Too much trouble, yeah.


Social anxiety and being antisocial have nothing to do with eachother. I talk with people every day, you know real people. I also don't talk to fantasy creatures, I SLAY THEM!!! Easily? I don't know, i haven't even tried to have a relationship for awhile, prollie not but is that some sort of measure of... something?

Toby

I suggest reading Dr Robert's topic about defense mechanisms. I'm sure you would make a very interesting discovery about yourself. Just in case you don't, I'll just outright spell it out for you. Let me tell you what you are. You are not a wolf. You are an incompetent dog fed by your betters - out of pity. A drag of society, a low-life with no sense of goal. Someone who couldn't fend for himself for five minutes if left alone. Were it up to me, you'd have starved a long time ago. You're someone that needs waking up, you should be thanking me.


Considering that i moved out of my parents house at 17, your assertions are quite silly. You seem quite angry, why is that?


Toby

But I guess even fuck-ups like you are human, so I should probably leave you alone.


Oh please don't, you're funny.

Re: How to start living life again..

Quote from Hexi:

Considering that i moved out of my parents house at 17, your assertions are quite silly. You seem quite angry, why is that?


You also said that you are quite happy with socialism.

I tell you, here in the States you would starve. Unless you prefer the Medicaid/Welfare lifestyle...and honestly that is pretty nasty.

Get some drive! I come off soft at first, but at least I work my ass off, have goals, and can hold my head up to people that are as sharp as knives.

AND I can tolerate sociopaths without excessive mush.

Re: How to start living life again..

Hexi
Toby

But I guess even fuck-ups like you are human, so I should probably leave you alone.


Oh please don't, you're funny.
If you insist!

Hexi
Ofcourse i couldn't get every job i wanted, just electrical work. I also don't sit ALL day at the computer, just more than most i guess. Should i watch TV instead?

No? Go out. Or is that a rhetoric question involving teenage angst? Let me tell you something: there actually is a life out there. You must only open your door and step out, and thy shall see the light. You're not a vampire either, no matter what your defense mechanism has convinced you; so I assure you that you will not get burned by the sun.


Hexi
I have never in my entire life played counter strike. I dislike shooters. So everyone who owns a sword wants to be a samurai? lol? That's wolfie, not me. I don't "want" to be an assassin either haha.

Hexi
I've often thought about my life and how to use it. A career as an assasin would suit me fine but the criminal element in Finland is so pathetic that it's out of the question. I think i would be good at it too. I'm familiar with many ways to effectively kill and torture people. An interest i picked up in my teens.

Hexi
Philosophy, religion, war, warfare, philosophy of war and chemistry fascinates me but spending years in boring classrooms with half-wits makes me want to vomit. In Finland we have a 6-9month mandatory military service and during that time i adviced commanders on troop placement and strategy, i'm very good at it. But i can't stand the politics of it all.

Hexi
Where am i going with this rambling? I really don't know. I felt like venting for a change as whitewolf made me think about the samurai. I wish we had such a caste today, i would devote my life to it without a second thought. Give me the permission to just do the things normals can't or wont do.
Haha? Nuff said. I wonder how your defense mechanism responds to this. I'm sure, at least, that you won't come to the same conclusion of your total idiotism as I did.

Hexi
Social anxiety and being antisocial have nothing to do with eachother. I talk with people every day, you know real people. I also don't talk to fantasy creatures, I SLAY THEM!!! Easily? I don't know, i haven't even tried to have a relationship for awhile, prollie not but is that some sort of measure of... something?
Yes it is. Enough of a measurement that I could tell that you don't have one, right?

Hexi
Toby

I suggest reading Dr Robert's topic about defense mechanisms. I'm sure you would make a very interesting discovery about yourself. Just in case you don't, I'll just outright spell it out for you. Let me tell you what you are. You are not a wolf. You are an incompetent dog fed by your betters - out of pity. A drag of society, a low-life with no sense of goal. Someone who couldn't fend for himself for five minutes if left alone. Were it up to me, you'd have starved a long time ago. You're someone that needs waking up, you should be thanking me.


Considering that i moved out of my parents house at 17, your assertions are quite silly. You seem quite angry, why is that?
How very analyctical of you! Care to elaborate on what you find so very silly? The fact that you are an incompetent dog, or the fact that you have no sense of goal? Those are quite serious problems, Hexi, not laughing matters. Well, not for you. Me, I laugh at you and the truth every day.
Hexi
I have no job as i can't be bothered with the benefits we get here in Finland (socialism works for me) and i can think of better use of my days than to do something i loathe.
Nuff said.

I really suggest reading about those defense mechanisms.

Re: How to start living life again..

Have you ever played with an idea? You should try it sometimes! I wasn't serious about either the assassin thingy nor the samurai, you really think i'm that disconnected from reality? LOL. I'm curious though, what gave you the idea that i don't go out at all? For an example, i've been to 2 rock festivals this summer in Finland which, granted, isn't much but still. Tell me, what does having a girlfriend measure? You don't need one for anything.

I find your assertions silly because you seem to think that i haven't worked, ever simply because i'm not working right now? I've only been jobless for a year or so out of choice and no, i don't have a goal, does that make you angry? Is there a reason you care so much about my life? If you have some romantic feelings towards me, i have to say that i'm not interested. ;)

Re: How to start living life again..

Hexi
If you have some romantic feelings towards me, i have to say that i'm not interested. ;)


:(

Re: How to start living life again..

The two of you squabble like siblings:-) Not lovers.

Re: How to start living life again..

Hexi
Have you ever played with an idea? You should try it sometimes! I wasn't serious about either the assassin thingy nor the samurai, you really think i'm that disconnected from reality? LOL. I'm curious though, what gave you the idea that i don't go out at all? For an example, i've been to 2 rock festivals this summer in Finland which, granted, isn't much but still. Tell me, what does having a girlfriend measure? You don't need one for anything.

I find your assertions silly because you seem to think that i haven't worked, ever simply because i'm not working right now? I've only been jobless for a year or so out of choice and no, i don't have a goal, does that make you angry? Is there a reason you care so much about my life? If you have some romantic feelings towards me, i have to say that i'm not interested. ;)
Keep convincing yourself of that. You weren't serious? Why do you keep spouting crap, then? This forum isn't your playground. Honestly, that's the dumbest excuse. But at least you realize how much of an idiot you were to write something like that, so I'll forgive you. Perhaps you're not a totally lost cause, after all. The first step to being cured is to realize how much of a dumbass you are. So you're well on your way!

A reason I care about your life so much? Enough to comment it here? I'm glad you asked! The thing is, I know you will become a sex offender in near future, and I'm trying to make you see that. Everything in your behaviour indicates it. Hopefully I can prevent that from happening.

Also, you have been outside twice this summer? Congratulations! You have no life, you even quit your job to sit infront of your lazy-ass computer you geek. You've mentioned that you're a nerd more than once, are you now saying that was also one of your "JUST KIDDING" jokes nobody gets?

Brrzzzttt.. Defense mechanism. I wonder if you'll ever get what you are yourself. You are bending your words and convincing yourself of things you know are untrue, and I think that deep down you know it. Thy must overcome the defense mechanism and look in the mirror to see a reflection of a narc and a future sex offender. Well I understand that can be a little hard to bear. But you really should wake up soon.

For instance, you're convincing yourself that I don't know you or base my assumptions on something I misunderstand, whereas the truth which you refuse to acknowledge is that you're a complete weirdo fuck-up who is dependent on everyone but himself. I think you know it deep down yourself. But don't worry, you're not alone. There are many other weirdos you can connect with.

Ps. I never assumed that you have never worked, that was you who assumed that I assumed so. I'm sure you weren't as much of a weirdo when you were 5-year-old, either. But look at you now! You belong to the zoo.

Re: How to start living life again..

Does this work usually Toby? It's quite obvious to me what you're doing, twisting what i say into something completely different to try to get me angry. Did it work on wolfie? Is that why he stopped posting?

You are a troll, getting your kicks by making other people mad at you. You bore me so i'll stop responding to your obvious bating. :)

Re: How to start living life again..

Hexi
Does this work usually Toby? It's quite obvious to me what you're doing, twisting what i say into something completely different to try to get me angry. Did it work on wolfie? Is that why he stopped posting?

You are a troll, getting your kicks by making other people mad at you. You bore me so i'll stop responding to your obvious bating. :)
It is you, sir, who keeps twisting your own words. You wanted to be a samurai, now you don't. You wanted to be an assassin, now you don't. You claimed to be super intelligent, you obviously aren't. You were a nerd, now you're not. You hated working, now, after I called you lazy, you apparently don't. You wanted me to continue, now you don't. Or was this another of your "I WASNT SERIOUS!" jokes?

Hexi
Toby

But I guess even fuck-ups like you are human, so I should probably leave you alone.


Oh please don't, you're funny.

Perhaps you realized that what I said was, in fact, dead serious? And so very, very true.

Ps. I am trying to cure your delusional rampage and am trying to save you from your eternal doom. You should appreciate my work more. I realize that my methods may seem a little harsh to you, unfair even, but I assure you that this is the only way to deal with people like you.

Re: How to start living life again..

You should look up the phrase "entertaining a thought" to find out what it means as, obviously, you're too fucking stupid to grasp it's meaning. Do i hate working? Yes, yes i do. That's why i DON'T work at the moment but i had to work before out of nescessity, now i no longer have to in order to get money so i don't. If you can't grasp that concept either, i can't help you. not ONCE did i claim to be "super intelligent". I said i had a clearly above average IQ which only measures how good i am at doing an IQ test, nothing more. Perhaps you are confusing me with wolfie again?

You can't understand simple cocepts like these and you comment on others intelligence? Ironic.

Ps. I hope you are trolling because your posts are getting desperate now.

Re: How to start living life again..

No, no! They are getting better and better. I did get a reply from you even though you promised not to "reply to my obvious baitings", didn't I? You're acting irrationally again. I believe you are starting to respect my authority little by little. I am now worthy of your flaming replies! It's very fascinating how, when one is confronted with the inconvenient truth, one gets so very, very offensive! Well, then again, I am being rather offensive myself, but it's only for your own good. As I am sure I have mentioned before.

Hexi
You can't understand simple cocepts like these and you comment on others intelligence?


Talk about intelligence! Here you claim you can solve "college level math" without studying and without a calculator or anything.
Hexi
i can solve college level math without a calculator or writng down equations, i solve it strictly in my head. All you need is the ability to focus on a single point without losing the whole, abstract thinking.


Here you're basically saying you can't solve college level math because you haven't studied it LOL.
Hexi
I have never even touched integrals so i'm lost. I would need to study the basics of such calculus first to get anywhere. "To run, one must learn how to walk" or something. :P

Perhaps it was a shakespearish metaphor you used there to protest women's rights. Who knows what goes on in a mind of someone such as you.

I think you should stop lying to yourself already. I don't think you're a sociopath. I think it's simply a way for you to protect yourself from angst; you're a loser, and because of that, you need some special label on yourself to justify yourself.

You're also a slacker, and a drag of society. No, that is the truth without fail. At least that is something you can not deny. To society, you are a useless meatbag with absolutely no purpose. Another pathetic, silly, irresponsible loser with a mouth to feed, and I can't believe you're even trying to justify your impotence. There is nothing I misunderstand in this concept, it's the truth. May I quote myself a little here?
Toby
For instance, you're convincing yourself that I don't know you or base my assumptions on something I misunderstand, whereas the truth which you refuse to acknowledge is that you're a complete weirdo fuck-up who is dependent on everyone but himself. I think you know it deep down yourself.
Read my posts more carefully next time.

Re: How to start living life again..

You keep ignoring what i say and just babble on about something completely different. Should i start to use MS paint to make my point clear? It's obvious you can't understand what people write so maybe i should start to draw you pictures?

You are right, i am a parasite, a "burden" on society. Does that make you angry? It sure seems so! Don't be jealous because you have to take care of your mentally challenged children and a wife who is too fat and ugly to even fuck. Maybe you should spend energy to take care of your retarded children instead of crying to me how horrible a person i am.

Re: How to start living life again..

Hexi...
In simple laymen terms what are you trying to say? Rather than use complex referrals to comments to what Toby is saying...why not list the primary points you are trying to make. It doesn't minimize your intelligence.

Are you hurt or angry or both that Toby thinks that you are a burden on society whether he is accurate or not?

You said before that you would like to start living again? Why not consider that admitting to some "truths" about yourself could in fact be a way to open that door?

We all have some uncomfortably truths about ourselves. Even I have shit that I would prefer be different about me. *things that will be discovered soon enough.

No one has to be a particular way. And from my experience in life, we become what we are from experiences as well as genetics.

All I am saying is that the two of you could speak to each other with courtesy versus the abrasiveness that is felt easily by all reading these replies.

You have control, as does Toby, to use gentle replies that respect the author. I know this, you do this with me. "Gentle" referring to the ability to use some reflection on what the author might truly mean behind the harsh comments.

Is it necessary to be so rough on each other? Forgive my simplistic words to describe what I read, I am just waking up to the banter.

To live again implies that you want to do something different...can we start here as a SAFE method to explore??? It doesn't take cultivated empathy to realize that this is a place to explore options.

Re: How to start living life again..

If i said yes i'm hurt and angry, i would lie. If i said no, i would instantly be "defensive". I know how these things work. :P

I keep responding to him because there is nothing else to post about on the forum. Honestly, this is fun and games for me atleast, maybe Toby is angry because he has commitments and duties and he hates me for not having such things to hinder my life. He cannot stand other people not being miserable in a marriage they hate and with children they loathe.

Re: How to start living life again..

I am not going to judge here. It is about being in touch with what you are experiencing...and avoiding the inevitable "protective" mechanisms that you or I would naturally use.

Text me now...if you can.

Re: How to start living life again..

Real time communication would be delightful. Try it. Reach me on yahoo please

Re: How to start living life again..

Hexi said: (no I don't always use those boxes)
I keep responding to him because there is nothing else to post about on the forum. Honestly, this is fun and games for me atleast, maybe Toby is angry because he has commitments and duties and he hates me for not having such things to hinder my life. He cannot stand other people not being miserable in a marriage they hate and with children they loathe.

What if Toby isn't angry...what if he is like you and this is a bit of a game to him too? What if rather than working on his weaknesses, he finds it easier to relate to what he sees in you? What if the two of you are the same in that respect?

Consider, that he uses the same harshness as you. In his case, he states that he does it to get to you...maybe this is his reasoning as some individuals think that yelling at someone gets to the heart of the matter easier. Maybe that technique doesn't work with you.

If it doesn't, and lets say that Toby really does want to get something across that he is failing to get to you...what would be the best method to do this...assuming that he is not just angry that he is stuck in a useless marriage w/kids that he doesn't want...and is forced to work when in fact he rather would not (as would most I would think)

If this is just a game out of boredom...then what would make the boredom go away?

Could we not postulate (yes, this is a tangent) that maybe this feeling of boredom is a chemical process that can be overcome similar to the feeling of depression, or anger....

come on now...talk...humor me...:-O

Re: How to start living life again..

Hexi
You keep ignoring what i say and just babble on about something completely different. Should i start to use MS paint to make my point clear? It's obvious you can't understand what people write so maybe i should start to draw you pictures?
No I do think I can understand you very well. But if it makes it easier to express yourself, then by all means do use MS paint. Here, let me take the initiative in our experimental therapy.
http://i33.tinypic.com/2vs11nc.jpg
I call this piece "screenshot", it really took me a long time to work on the shading.

http://i33.tinypic.com/ibx35t.jpg
I call this one "the mirror of truth".

Are we done with the silliness, now? Hopefully you realize how dumb your joke was by looking at that image. We can act childish all day long, but to be honest, I'd rather not. But if you so wish we continue this paintshit therapy, I'm going to honor your request.

Hexi
You are right, i am a parasite, a "burden" on society.
See? When you stop to listen to what I have to say it all becomes clear. We are making progress, Hexi. You have now reached the first step into being cured. 3 more steps left.

You asked for help and I'm giving it. Now you're saying you don't need any; another addition to your long list of contradictions. I'm still going to give some, whether you wanted it or not. Perhaps you had some moment of clarity when you posted your plead for assistance, a moment which evidently passed quite soon. You were most probably driven back to your shell when you heard the truth. Who knows. It takes some time to take in, but one day I am sure you will come face-to-face with the truth. It can take weeks, even months. It can be hard, but I will be there for you.

Hexi
Does that make you angry?
I'm fine. Making you happy makes me happy.

Ps. I realize I may have been a bit harsh with the paint thing, disregarding your idea and perhaps desperate plead for communication. If you were serious and you wish to communicate by paint, then please do. I will be responding in text, though. If you don't mind.

Re: How to start living life again..

I love you guys:-)

Re: How to start living life again..

If you really understood what i say, you wouldn't make yourself look like you can't even read.

Toby
See? When you stop to listen to what I have to say it all becomes clear. We are making progress, Hexi. You have now reached the first step into being cured.


Too bad i said i'm a parasite, and fine with it, weeks ago. Also, please don't post pictures of yourself here again, no one wants to see them. Pretty much everything you've said about me on this thread is simply not true in any way and you know it. You WANT me to "rage" at you and everything i say will either agree with your delusions or is a DEFENSE MECHANISM LOL so i don't really see the point in this.

Let's talk about you for a minute. Why do you stay in a marriage with a fat, ugly bitch and why don't you take your kids to a "special" home for mentally challenged children or are you in denial about your own family?

Re: How to start living life again..

Can't we all sit down to a nice meal of lutefisk?

And why exactly do I not get a reply?

Re: How to start living life again..

Hexi
If you really understood what i say, you wouldn't make yourself look like you can't even read.
Yet I am replying to you. Do I need to paste a link to every one of my posts in this topic? Perhaps a little bit of elaboration is in order.

Hexi
Too bad i said i'm a parasite, and fine with it, weeks ago. Also, please don't post pictures of yourself here again, no one wants to see them.
It was supposed to be a picture of you; perhaps MS paint is not the best way to communicate, after all. It seems to lead to misunderstandings.

Hexi
Pretty much everything you've said about me on this thread is simply not true in any way and you know it. You WANT me to "rage" at you and everything i say will either agree with your delusions or is a DEFENSE MECHANISM LOL so i don't really see the point in this.
I assure you that is not what I am trying to do. I am waiting for you to come to harmony with yourself. I am aware that you will not immediately heed my words. It will be later on when you realize that I am right. When that time comes, you will thank me.
It hurts me as much as it hurts you.

Hexi
Let's talk about you for a minute. Why do you stay in a marriage with a fat, ugly bitch and why don't you take your kids to a "special" home for mentally challenged children or are you in denial about your own family?
If you must know, my wife passed away last February. I had a son, but he is long gone. He died of leukemia when he was 4 years old. Thanks for asking.

Re: How to start living life again..

Hi Toby,

I have not have the time to get to know you yet...you definitively have a cynical humor that is refreshing as well as a nature that must seek to help others for some reason. Can you tell me a bit about you? Something that would help me understand the conversations that I am seeing unfold.

I do not appear to have the same issues as some on this forum, but I do have this deep need I guess to know and appreciate people like yourself.

Will you talk to me some?

Re: How to start living life again..

Because you don't adress the things i reply to your posts and just move on to another thing to make assumptions out of.

That picture can't be mr simply because i have long hair, bit over my shoulders so i assumed it was you. :)

This is what you don't seem to graps. I am a parasite. I am a vicious asshole but the difference is that i'm fine with myself. I have no regrets about my actions, i feel no shame about it.

I seem to remember you saying you have 2 kids and a wife or was that a lie? What you said about your family made me smile, that's the kind of a person i am and you know what? I'm fine with it. It was a normal reaction for me.

Re: How to start living life again..

If I say I have two kids and a wife...will you talk with me??? I am hanging out on this internet when I could be doing a hell of alot acmore boring things...waiting for you to chat with me. WOULD YOU PLEASE.

I promise to give you lots of things that you can give me a hard time about. I promise that I will misunderstand you...draw horrible pics...make fun of your hair...and suggest taco bell and cigarettes. .

Humor me. I need some fun too. Ya know, I do have my sociopath playing Starcraft not 20 feet from me...just give me something dammit.

Re: How to start living life again..

Well, what do you want to talk about? I can't just conjure up interesting conversations for you! :)

Re: How to start living life again..

well please get on yahoo...I just got this fabulous text from some porn site I would guess...and I tried to pretend it was you...and all I got was a smiley....
text me:-)

I have lots of time...and I will provide drinks..
yahoo ID: jodygrissom

easy enough...please don't sell it though.

Re: How to start living life again..

If you are in fact locked up in your house...just passing time like an internet addict...then how do you conjure up interesting conversations?

Do you game?
Do you hack?
Do you just chat back and forth with Toby for kicks?

I mean, my humor and fun comes from conversation..once you get me started I can play with you...
My brain is stunted right now...so just throw something out...I will play. Otherwise, I am forced to just read research papers, or listen to (Corey) my sociopath cuss as he is trying to win on his Starcraft match.

OR RSVP these damn porn site hackers...

Re: How to start living life again..

Ok...true story.
For some strange reason, I actually think of you in conversations with friends. Not that there are so many that I would mention you to but there is one friend that seems to understand my urge to befriend you. He even asks about you daily now. (no, not adopted son, as he has absolutely no interest in you and thinks that in fact you are just some gaming teenager on 4chan that is faking you). Corey did say that you can't be so smart as everyone in Europe speaks 4 languages and that it doesn't distinguish you at all. But hey, who am I to try to sell you to him?

Lets see...what to talk about...as I WAIT....
Well, do you get lonely? I don't know you as a person yet...so I just get a jist of you from your posts...talk to me.

I did email you btw.

Re: How to start living life again..

jodartha
Ok...true story.
For some strange reason, I actually think of you in conversations with friends. Not that there are so many that I would mention you to but there is one friend that seems to understand my urge to befriend you. He even asks about you daily now. (no, not adopted son, as he has absolutely no interest in you and thinks that in fact you are just some gaming teenager on 4chan that is faking you). Corey did say that you can't be so smart as everyone in Europe speaks 4 languages and that it doesn't distinguish you at all. But hey, who am I to try to sell you to him?

I did email you btw.


Gaming? Yes. Teenager on 4chan? No. :)

"Everyone in europe speaks 4 languages" Is an utterly ignorant statement. Why do you think everything is dubbed in most countries to their native language? Because MOST don't even speak English. Granted, i live in a dual-language nation so that's why i speak Swedish but English and German are not mandatory. Anyways, my linguistic skills have no real bearing on being smart now is it? I find it silly to think that aquired skills equate to intelligence. It's the application of skills that has a better bearing on any indication.

No, i don't get lonely really. I have ways to amuse myself. :)

(I need to add smileys as people have, in the past, taken my posts WAY too seriously. I may sound angry or serious at times but it's just poor articulation.)

Re: How to start living life again..

it takes you forever to reply. at tacobell w corey atm. he says that english has to be your first language. ...as he games w euros. not that i will continue to text for him. i will be back in a few. get online...make my hair not turn gray

Re: How to start living life again..

No, i'm Finnish haha. My English is rather poor even so i don't know where he got that impression from. Yeah, it takes awhile as i'm watching movies and hop on here every now and then. (It's 3:27am here at the moment so i really have nothing else to do hehe.)

Re: How to start living life again..

I was rank 1 on bronze league but i haven't played in 2 weeks or so. Maybe i need to rank up then. :P Gimme some time haha.

Re: How to start living life again..

Reply from Corey: means experienced bad player...
Reply to me from Corey: get off the internet..danger zone.

Re: How to start living life again..

Tell him i jumped directly into the 5 placement matches before playing the game at all and, shockinly, lost miserably. :)

Re: How to start living life again..

Thank you Hexi.
You are the best:-)

Hexi

Hey. I need ya today...can you be around in like 4 hours?

Thanks

Re: How to start living life again..

Well, I am back now...you can pry your eyes off the movies and chat if you would like...
you are putting me to sleep with the slow replies, and it is EARLY here. 840p

Re: How to start living life again..

Hexi
Because you don't adress the things i reply to your posts and just move on to another thing to make assumptions out of.
Elaboration is in order, I believe. I already said it once, and I hate repeating myself. It's curious, though, that you have that opinion. I quote and comment on things you say most of the time. Just like now!

Hexi
That picture can't be mr simply because i have long hair, bit over my shoulders so i assumed it was you. :)
Like a proper bum and a future sex offender.

Hexi
This is what you don't seem to graps. I am a parasite. I am a vicious asshole but the difference is that i'm fine with myself. I have no regrets about my actions, i feel no shame about it.
Yes, and I am here to cure you. I know I already said this, but it's nice that we see eye to eye. You truly are a drag! An incompetent dog, if I may say. You seemed to take offense the first time I said it, this is what I mean when I say we are progressing. It wasn't so hard to accept, was it? Now we need to work on those countless of other things you are required to see.

Hexi
I seem to remember you saying you have 2 kids and a wife or was that a lie?
That was probably the imposter. I never said that.

Hexi
What you said about your family made me smile
My wife suffered from incurable flatulence for half a year, she was in pain and the only option was euthanasia. Do you think that is funny? You're proving all my points yourself every time you open your mouth.

Re: How to start living life again..

You are formally invited to dinner Toby.

Re: How to start living life again..

In your mind, i take offense to everything you say, which isn't true by the way. Like i said already, this is fun for me.

So having a long hair equates to being a bum and a sex offender. Ok, go say that to a biker or something. Oh, thats right, you never would because you're a COWARD.

Must be nice to have an alleged "imposter". Atleast i have the balls to stand behind what i say where as you're just a cowardly troll.

How does me finding the misery of others fun prove anything yous spout? That's like me saying that because your name is Toby, you have a small penis and no teeth. Goddamn your retardation really has no bounds, does it?

Oh i know! Half the things i've said was by an IMPOSTER! HONEST! Lol... fuck off, i'm done with you.

Re: How to start living life again..

Hexi
fuck off, i'm done with you.
"Reply" "don't reply" "reply" "don't reply", which is it? You are acting irrationally - again!

Hexi
Must be nice to have an alleged "imposter". Atleast i have the balls to stand behind what i say where as you're just a cowardly troll.
The balls to stand behind saying I have a wife and two kids... Two kids and a wife... Hmm.. LOL WHAT? No I guess there just wasn't any context to that. Too bad! I was actually waiting forward to replying.

Hexi
In your mind, i take offense to everything you say, which isn't true by the way. Like i said already, this is fun for me.

Why the obsession with proving you're not angry? I don't really care, either way. I think I'll just add it to the signs of detachment. In real life, nobody would care about such meaningless little things. But you didn't know that, did you?

As a side note, I am aware that in most gaming places where you get into a debate you'll be joining a silly game with complicated rules concerning what fancy words you copy and it is a must that you show how very unconcerned you are about the whole thing. I think such things are beneath me, to be honest. So you must pardon my impudence for not joining in.

Hexi
So having a long hair equates to being a bum and a sex offender.
If I accused someone of, say, being homosexual, and then the next day I'd see him wearing a tight pink shirt and a skirt, I'd say he looks a bit homosexual. That would be rather derogatory of me to do that, but it is just an example. Of course wearing a tight pink shirt and a skirt doesn't equal to being a faggot, but you catch my drift! But if the man then grabbed our Hexi's, your, small penis and started sucking it, I'd say he's definitely gay.
To answer your question, no! Not necessarily!

But this really does get rather complicated if you don't read my replies! I honestly don't know how to make my posts interesting enough. Or maybe your defense mechanism just kind of skips the parts you don't want to hear. It's like working with school children! Well I believe you did mention you dropped out of school after 9th grade.
Have you matured from that, I wonder.

Hexi
Oh i know! Half the things i've said was by an IMPOSTER! HONEST!
...Evidently not.


Hexi
How does me finding the misery of others fun prove anything yous spout?
Do I even need to reply to this? Ask yourself that again and then think try to re-think on how dumb you were to reply with something like that, you spazz dog. I think I'll add "impotent emo lobster" there, too. But only because it is of utmost importance.

Hexi
Ok, go say that to a biker or something. Oh, thats right, you never would because you're a COWARD.
No, I wouldn't. I can say that in your face, though!

Ps. Do you like pubs or clubs? This is a question that even someone of your capacity should be able to comprehend!

Pss. You are a loser, you have always been a loser, and you will always be a loser. Unless you let me help you. I know I can force help on you, but it would be oh so much easier if you just stopped resisting. It would also be more pleasing to me. To you, perhaps not. Necessary? Yes.

Re: How to start living life again..

Can we focus on the purpose of this forum versus raging and defaming?

All of the vistors here, deserve polite comments, not accusations of homosexuality, or otherwise.

I do not understand the purpose of these attacks. It doesn't help anyone to harassed or put down in the name of "helping someone".

Leave each other be. If there is humor and fun, so be it. But let the meanness go...find someone to harass in real life and leave this virtual world in peace.

It isn't yours, it is Dr. Robert's.

Re: How to start living life again..

jodartha
Can we focus on the purpose of this forum versus raging and defaming?

All of the vistors here, deserve polite comments, not accusations of homosexuality, or otherwise.

I do not understand the purpose of these attacks. It doesn't help anyone to harassed or put down in the name of "helping someone".

Leave each other be. If there is humor and fun, so be it. But let the meanness go...find someone to harass in real life and leave this virtual world in peace.

It isn't yours, it is Dr. Robert's.
:)
Jodartha,
I have read many of your posts and I understand that you are a sweet and kind person who just wants everyone to be happy and get along, and often I agree with you, but I think you are wrong about this. I am very honestly trying to help Hexi. He is in dire need of help and needs to wake up. If you don't shake him awake, he may later on become too detached to be brought back on earth.

I'm sorry for the inconvenience; it must be hard to follow all the offensive replies thrown. But I assure you, they are all very necessary.

Re: How to start living life again..

Interestingly enough...
Hexi is matching you.

I have to agree that most of the time, I agree with you comments. Most of the time, your frankness is amazing. BUT you are playing his game and I know that he likes it...but you can't change a person by playing his game. I believe you might have alluded to this before w/my sociopathic question.

He is being honest with you. He doesn't mind your games at all. And it is just festive fun for him and maybe you. BUT for those that don't know this..it is harsh and alienating. I am one person who does understand, as I live it.

There are better ways to skin a cat and chop it up!

People don't change. Unless they want too. And you can not make him feel what he does not. He is aware of his weaknesses I am sure. He also knows his strengthes. From many hours of trying I know that the best you can hope to do is provide motivation to get someone to do the right things by his own inner spirits. We all look for fun. Hexi provides clear, logical opinions that in my mind indicate that he chooses to be a better person than he has to be by nature. If he indicates that he could do something in even the crudest terms, he is just playing with words to entertain you or himself.

There is so much more to a person than just a conscience. Afterall, do not normal people with a conscience hurt people all the time. I have been sideswiped on the highway and no one stops. People steal for a thrill. People date rape all the time. There are people w/consciences and without personality disorders that do the lowest of things...therefore, I would ask for you to consider that maybe a conscience may not be necessary to hold the mind and body in check.

Violence begets violence. And sociopathic responses, particularly in the virtual world, beget sociopathic responses, whether genuine or faked.

Why not talk in real words? You don't have to be one kind sucker of a soul like me to believe that goodness exists in all. There are animals that take in the offspring of other species. And there are humans that may not do the evil thing just for pleasure. Now it is hard to know when a person will crack...that is where good judgement is necessary...

But I assure you, that badgering someone and tempting them with daggarlike words is not the way to motivate anyone. Afterall, do you remember WANTING to clean your room when your mother made you????? Don't be his mother. Be his friend. You two have known each other for a long time now, both of you give good responses to others dilemmas. And from all that I have seen, both of you can be NICE people if you want too.

Choose to be on the same side. There is strength in numbers. And I for one, like Hexi...whether he chooses to work or not, whether he is a nice person all the time or not. I seriously doubt he is in the mood to be a serial killer or a sexual predator. And if he does really want to pursue that occupation, then the best chance you can give him is to recognize him for the person he is and treat him like a respectable human being. If he was so awful, he probably would be in a penitentary by now...so make peace. Smile. And just help each other.

I know I am one chump who wants the world to be a better place. But I am not naive to what the world is really like. It is each small act of kindness that we bestow on others that can change the world at times.

I have been lucky enough to see that. And yes I get burned sometimes. But sometimes I don't...and it is in those moments that I get satisfaction. And if you really want to help someone, then practice listening here. I like you. And I like him. Now put down your swords or choose to fight the same beast.

Jodartha- your buddy.

Re: How to start living life again..

Toby you said:
For instance, you're convincing yourself that I don't know you or base my assumptions on something I misunderstand, whereas the truth which you refuse to acknowledge is that you're a complete weirdo fuck-up who is dependent on everyone but himself. I think you know it deep down yourself. But don't worry, you're not alone. There are many other weirdos you can connect with.


Is it possible that you are using some transference here? Please forgive me for butting in this conversation but given this is a forum and discussion is open to everyone, I would like to ask why you would say such things to someone you openly admit that you know. I have read many of your posts as well as Hexi's and although I haven't read all of them (because there are many), I have yet to determine that any of you are such awful individuals at this moment. Now of course, I am being feeling and not so objective, I know, but...I am left thinking that perhaps, there is some sort of a comraderie going here too. There maybe some strange nerdyness or lack of sociallife, or perhaps perversions in certain peoples' minds but there is a wholesomeness and honesty here too. Is it not possible that this is a form of self therapy?

Why not be nice or at least tolerant? Is it more enjoyable to tease and torture? Or maybe the game of jabbing each other is satisfying?

Think about what I am saying. I know I am illiciting a nasty response from you. I don't mean to irk you. BUT I like your comments as a whole as I do Hexi's... and these comments just undermine something that is GOOD as a whole. (at least from my standpoint and perhaps Dr. Roberts)

Re: How to start living life again..

Besides everything else I mentioned below, might I suggest one thing that made a huge difference for me once when I just wouldn't let something go (as you appear unable to do).

I don't formally believe in God, but I did once decide to forgive myself formally. I did it in public (around several hundred people). For years I felt really bad about leaving a marriage. REALLY Bad. I just couldn't let it go, and I felt that I had ruined my chances for a good life. But I forgave myself. And let it go.

And you know what. It worked. I let a burden off my back, and it gave me the energy to look forward. Just consider it. Do whatever you need to do to let yourself look forward, instead of just looking backward.

Hope that helps a bit.

Re: How to start living life again..

Languages? I can speak 4. :P Martial arts? Not my thing, I used to be a breakdancer though. I'm not burdened by my actions, it's one of the perks of being a sociopath. I have no regrets in my life at all. Even though i've made some bad choices, i don't wallow over them. Also, i'm not apathetic towards life, i just don't really know where to begin.

As an aside, i enjoy fishing. I do it alot at my parents summer house and yes, i'm 25 so i can drink. :)

Re: How to start living life again..

There was one other thing that I thought might pique your interest. Not sure, but hey as long as I am just writing about me, I want to make a suggestion.

Sometimes people are not interesting. Frankly many are downright boring. And I consider myself a people person:-) They desire things that mean nothing to me, and often they feel justified in treating others in a one up fashion (better car, talk about what they own, stuff as meaningless as baby strollers) and I left thinking why bother getting to know people that are so unlike me...and then I remember what makes life valuable to me. It is my ability to love and care.

Before you jump into thinking that feeling something like that is inferior, place your mind in the perspective that PERHAPS it is this humanness that gives meaning to living at times. It is not often, but rarely, I have found that seeking to understand and relate to another particularly on the level of love, that I am able to gain satisfaction and even a oneness with others. It is not like it happens every day, or even every year, but when it does, the joy that I obtain is worth any moment that I have won.

Now I am a friendly sort, at least it would appear that way on this forum, but in real life, I am quite to myself about what matters to me. And most of the time, I sense that no one understands what motivates me. Maybe I am unique, or abnormal (refering to a previous discussion on what is normal) but I prefer to think that it is this able to communication and meet minds that gives me the most satisfaction. I have known others, that gain that feeling from winning an argument, but to put oneself in a one up position fails to lift the soul (even if you think that sociopaths may not have one) to a level of peacefulness.

Maybe, it is this oneness of all humanity or the ability to relate to another that bring satisfaction. The definition of human is: adj
1. of, characterizing, or relating to man and mankind human nature
2. consisting of people the human race a human chain
3. having the attributes of man as opposed to animals, divine beings, or machines human failings.

Is it not possible that all humans (no matter if they are labeled as ill or void of some personality traits common in others)have commonalities that bring satisfaction and completeness?

I am not sure about all of this, I just postulate. It is this conversation at this moment, that bring the most meaning to my day. It is this attempt to relate that satisfies my mind. Therefore, I believe that it could be this moment is when I am really living.

It is just a thought. Leave a way that you can be reached Hexi. Thx.

Re: How to start living life again..

Very insightful, if i was an angry and confused teen, which i am not. In the last couple of days, i've gotten in touch with some old friends and started to go out, it's been refreshing. I wish people really would post new threads and participated more, it's been quite dead here. Oh well.

Re: How to start living life again..

I don't see how this applies particularly to an angry or confused teen...I am not one. It was just an observation that has worked for me.

Getting out is good. I did today, even with a long day at work to come. Given I do not exist in a socialist country, work is necessary for what I need. Can you be reached?

Re: How to start living life again..

Well i used to work, i have a degree in electric engineering but it's such boring work :P I'm not a materialistic person and living in a 1 bedroom apartpent is enough for me heh so i don't really have any incentive to work. No loans or family to feed :)

Re: How to start living life again..

pets?