I believe that you are out of your depth in this situation. Let me tell you a story:
The scorpion said to the frog, "I want to cross the river, but I cannot swim. Please let me ride on your back while you swim to the other side."
"No way," said the frog. "If I let you get that close to me, you will sting me."
"That would be crazy," said the scorpion. "If I were to sting you while we were crossing, we would both drown."
The frog considered this argument, concluded that it made sense, and agreed to carry the scorpion across on his back. Halfway across the river, the scorpion unleashed his stinger upon the frog, and the frog began dying. "How could you do this," he cried. "Now we are both dead, and you promised you wouldn't."
"Well," replied the scorpion. "That's just my nature."
Hexi has given you some useful information, but you seem ill-disposed towards making any use of it. You would rather, it seems, go on talking about this matter as if any words could change the facts of the strange household you are hosting. You seem determined to do almost anything but make use of Hexi's honest and accurate reply to your questions. You seem to imagine that more words will somehow show you a way to deal with this boy in a "positive" way, and so help him across the river.
What you are calling "love" (what a slippery word that is), means nothing at all to a scorpion except that "love" provides a powerful lever he or she can use to manipulate and control. Such "love" is only a joke to someone who doesn't feel it, doesn't need it, and doesn't want it.
It is only a question of time until you learn this first-hand, but during that time a lot of damage can be done. A word to the wise is sufficient.
I do not underestimate the value of Hexi. I just got on a tangent on my own issues. I play with fire. I have been burned, and I know the extent of the potential damage.
I will not ignor any of the wisdom I have received, I just remained open to hearing everyone, because I do value input. While I was visiting this site, I also enjoyed getting to know everyone in what little way that i could.
I like this site, and enjoy everyone's comments and thoughts. I have been told that I can be misunderstood. Perhaps I am now.
Thank you all for your thoughts. This thread is over. And my adopted son will be out of my immediate life at some point. Afterall, my resources are limited and he knows that.
I hope you don't mind if i follow this forum, frankly I have enjoyed it.