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Re: Another sibling exploitation story. How to cope with the guilt?

It is obvious to me that you already know the way out of your dilemma. Here's why I say that:

The overwhelming guilt is something we put on ourselves. I put it on myself by myself not being able to accept that I am actually that person that did what I did. Your mind goes completely mad and you demonize yourself and your actions to the maximum. The pain you create yourself at this moment is so great you wish you were dead...

See how that works? You are doing it to yourself. Like mental mast urbation, sado masochist style. Perhaps, on a level you don't want to acknowledge even to yourself, you get a kick out of the anguish. Sometimes emotional pain is the only way we know we are truly alive.

What would change my thinking? I don't know...

Oh you know. STOP DOING WHAT YOU ARE DOING! As in, when those crazy thoughts about you being a vile pedophile come into your brain, fight them off. You know, you really don't have to believe everything you think. Sometimes our thoughts are more like enemies than friends. Question your thinking, look for interpretations that are helpful rather than harmful, that are realistic and centered in the present. And if that truly isn't possible for you, then by all means, as Doc Robert says, get some help!

Or not.

Re: Another sibling exploitation story. How to cope with the guilt?

See this is bad.

Bloodytears gets good advice from me and then you all try to make her paranoid when she is already vulnerable. I don't take pot shots at people who are already down. There is no honor in corning an already wounded animal and killing it. That kind of cowardly thinking is only used by one mindset.

The Catalyst
Oh f uck, I think I know who you are...

CataCoward you are.. The Fool. The moment you open your mouth.. all that talk you do becomes fairly obvious smoke. You have the mentality of a bored 12 year old child and the mental capacity of a.. unanimated object... or toddler perhaps.

But I can help you! First I want you to find your favorite possession. Now shove it up your rear. Now take your moms black ***** and shove that in their too. Did you notice how even though your mothers ***** was bigger than yours that they felt pretty much the same once inserted in your rear? Now reflect on that and remember that the only way you can control the pain is to cut yourself. That way you control it. But don't use your mothers hedgers for that till after you're done sucking on her tit and acting like the weak, pathetic, fool that you really are.

No one cares about your feelings. By no one I do mean me and by not caring I do mean I don't but I do enjoy watching you wet your pants and grab your security blanket.

Making weak people emotionally upset is really the best you got.. reflect on that and by all means.. take a shower. I'm tired of smelling your stink. You suck.. we get it. By all means though.. reply and show me the true face of stupid. I know you're retarded. You fight like they do. Your actions made you less than me and now you want to suck on me emotionally like you suck on your mother physically. I don't care that your dad abuses you either. You're a weak little puss. I don't care how you feel but I enjoy crapping on you. It brings me pleasure.

Please reply... I enjoy hurting you cause .. no one cares if I hurt you and no one here will protect you from me.

I don't run away and beat up on the weak egos. I smash the supposed strong in the face and watch them fall in their own weakness.

20 years of emotional numbing can do that to you. You gotta start when you're.. 1. But the good news is.. you have the IQ of me when I was 1 so perhaps.. perhaps you can achieve this.

Don't give up your dreams. Look at that.. that one movie where some emotionally retarded fgt like you made it somewhere.. but I'm pretty sure he ends up getting killed cause.. well the petty douches like you always die.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean it for more than a moment. Then I stopped caring.. about Cata.. whatever. Classic piece of trash is how I perceive his name. If you're going to be uncreative at least give yourself the standard "Angel of -insert BS-" or the "Emo-of -vampire-darkness-scary-but-scrony-little-twig?!"

God, you are even boring to me when I am ranting in mania. You understand that right? I'm in mania for about the next oh.. few months. Mania is when I feel like God but don't worry.. according to these scares.. I'm not superman. But then again. neither are you.

At some part of that... I hurt his feelings, Hexi. Like real feelings that he will experience for at least 10 minutes cause they can't turn off their sad emotions.. they are mentally inferior.

Re: Another sibling exploitation story. How to cope with the guilt?

Why the switch to "Zenemy" anyway?

Re: Another sibling exploitation story. How to cope with the guilt?

Thank you for sharing your story BloodyTears and good luck to you. I still find guilt like this absolutely fascinating.