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Re: I'm a sociopath and I don't want to be one :(

Hexi
David

No it's not a contradiction. I choose not to do things because I know they are considered wrong by society. Doesn't mean if I was to do them I would feel guilty about them.


And why wouldn't you, if you felt nothing afterwards. What does it matter to you, personally, what society considers wrong? I'll tell you what, you fear the judgement of others and thus refrain from certain actions. Just like now, you got defensive when i judged you as inconsistant which was the result of a an opinion not reinforcing your own. Just say you want others to reinforce your own ideas from now on instead of giving their own. I was not being agressive, i simply said what i thought. Just because it diffrentiated from your view does not make it agressive.


Because in my opinion most people are more useful when they like you then if they don't. I am well known for demoralizing people and breaking them down if I choose to because they were of no use to me but I don't make a habbit of it.

There is a big difference between us i beleive. I enjoy the fun of being a part of society and being a key player in the friendship groups of people i mingle in. I enjoy having my own way in them and controlling the people in them but i do not harm them. They are an investment if anything.

I am a passive person, I do not get physicaly agressive with those and thus would never try and kill someone even if i wanted them dead. I don't really understand why you can't see what I am saying. Also the way you write is agressive, even if you don't mean it.

I find it really hard to explain and it's true I am confused about how I feel and it's possible I just havn't got used to the idea and am lieing to my self about the reasons i choose not to do things I could.

I didn't come on here to prove who I am. I came on here for help understanding my self. I know for fact I have no attachment to people. I know I feel no guilt or conscience and my own mum frequently reminds me of it. I also know I do not aimlessly harm people for my own pleasure. They are teh things I know. I do play mind games with people who I consider significantly inferior. On the whole I don't think i've ever met anyone I considered an equal but I do meet those I consider "worthy" of being useful enough to keep around and be nice to. The person I portray on the outside to them is alot more friendly then how i feel inside however but in society you just have to do that. I don't wish to be alone. While I do not like people in general I also relise that a life alone is a boring one regardless in my opinion.

These are my views and how I feel. Do not try and compare my self to you and then tell me I am wrong because I am not the same as you.

Re: I'm a sociopath and I don't want to be one :(

You enjoy being the center of attention, the perfect example of a narc. You live through others and the prospect of being alone terrifies you. Afterall, how can someone so awesome as you ever be alone. Also, you're not a passive person. You get agitated quite easily, you're just a *****, like every narc, a child afraid of abandonment.

You percieve my posts as agressive because you are used to others telling you how special you are, starting with your mother. You didn't come here to prove anything yet in every single post you boast about your attributes and excellence, what a laugh.

You are right though, you are not like me and i'm happy about that. If i was a spineless dependant coward i would be depressed too, but i'm not. :)

Re: I'm a sociopath and I don't want to be one :(

Hexi
You enjoy being the center of attention, the perfect example of a narc. You live through others and the prospect of being alone terrifies you. Afterall, how can someone so awesome as you ever be alone. Also, you're not a passive person. You get agitated quite easily, you're just a *****, like every narc, a child afraid of abandonment.

You percieve my posts as agressive because you are used to others telling you how special you are, starting with your mother. You didn't come here to prove anything yet in every single post you boast about your attributes and excellence, what a laugh.

You are right though, you are not like me and i'm happy about that. If i was a spineless dependant coward i would be depressed too, but i'm not. :)


This stimulates me both emotionally and intellectually. It is both sad and true.

The logical mind is far crueler than the conscious because when it attacks it uses truth as it's weapon of choice. Crushing both spirit and ego of the individual who must face such judgment.

Re: I'm a sociopath and I don't want to be one :(

Hexi
So no guilt but you don't do things that you consider morally wrong? You really need to think for a minute here instead of contardict yourself in every sentence.


It's ego denial.

Probably an anti social trait of his.

I'm superior to Hexi because while he feels nothing.. I feel the experience of emotion but I am unable to maintain a sense of conscious thought. So without stimulation my mind returns to a synchronized EEG wavelength or unconscious state of processing.

Hexi and I appear to be the same but with science we learn that there are dramatic differences between us. While Hexi simply uses observations to draw his logical conclusions, I emotionally experience the stimuli but my conscious, due to damage, is unable to remain.. active. So I feel it and then the feelings die inside me. Giving me the double edge of not only understanding feelings but being able to express them in a logical manner. So technically.. I submit to emotion for all of 30 seconds.

The funny part is.. both Hexi and I will claim superiority to one another and we are both correct as there are advantages both ways. While I can achieve deeply emotional bonds with people.. he cannot. At the same time he is not emotionally impacted as I am. He cannot be disturbed and any attempt to do so can only be achieve through subconscious suggestions. Which conscious minds are far too ego driven to achieve. You don't understand this because, unlike me, your conscious doesn't reset for hours or days while I emotionally reboot every 30 seconds or less. Which means while you have a generously filled cup of emotion.. I have a mere shot glass worth and Hexi.. well no one even bought him a drink!!

ASPD is almost like us and it's a choice for you. You know.. if you moved to another side of town or something maybe you could start over and try living the life you've always wanted to live and just be yourself. There are people out there who will accept you. Your problem is you either don't accept them because your parents or church told you they were bad but eF that!



(Conscious/Unconscious differences)

Even Hexi has an ego which represents the influences of his environmental development. What makes that possible? You'll never know without.. oh my Gold standard neuroscience book.

Apparently the autonomic nervous system always remains active but during a conscious state the conscious mind can stimulate the autonomic nervous system to produce the physical attributes of feelings. There are the feelings you have (conscious/ego) and there is the emotion you experience (autonomic nervous system engaging bodily functions such as increased heart rate, increased awareness and other "power ups" your body engages to face threats).

So when you threaten Hexi.. he will not have a feeling of threat but his unconscious/autonomic nervous system will prepare the body for conflict.. if and only if you are perceived as a possible threat to him. Also Hexi has an ego like everyone else because of his simple thoughts of rebellion are not even real. I assure you, dependent on how he perceives organizational structure, he has natural order to his life. Example: He probably puts his keys in a certain place and keeps his CDs all somewhere together and he will have degress on organization and structure as well that you may not see but he does. A method to his madness. This ability to take deep intellectual considerations is something he achieves through a lack of emotional interference caused by ignorance that is ego.

Like when Dr Robert tried to deploy his minions to come harass me with their ego driven feelings... that is an EGO DRIVEN action of immaturity and me bringing it up.. is like me PUNCHING his ego in the face. Captain Picard.. please.. hardly a man that can control his emotions in times of threat. Would Picard go petty? No, he wouldn't. He would maintain his emotional calm.

You can reprogram the unconscious mind a lot faster than you can reprogram and ego. Which is why I prefer to break egos and just start fresh because while egos take up a small part of the brain.. their influence often has the affect a virus has on the body as it pollutes the mind with ego driven disillusions of power. Thankfully, I am no longer cursed to carry on in such a manner and if it seems as though I am condescending than perhaps it is just your own inferior ego acknowledging it's hate of the reality you convince yourself of that does not exist outside your own minds.

Unlike you.. i can truly forgive my enemies for crossing me for any emotion experience is only experience in a moment of time and does not control my ability to make difficult decisions. I am above the laws of ego driven reasoning.

Superiority is conditional and under the desires of an ego.. I am the ultimate power. But the unconscious mind knows better. The conscious mind is purely stupid yet the love I feel and happiness in those moments are what drive me to the edge of the Earth. Anything for that feeling of alive that the conscious mind is always in a state of experiencing. They may be foolish children but they taste this life that I always thirst for and Hexi is gifted to have never lost.

Re: I'm a sociopath and I don't want to be one :(

I find your posts quite intresting to read but you do have a habbit of skating around answers but not giving them so to speak. Im curious as to some of the things in your post which I think were aimed at me:

Zenemy


It's ego denial.


What does this mean exactly? I've never heard of this before.


The funny part is.. both Hexi and I will claim superiority to one another and we are both correct as there are advantages both ways. While I can achieve deeply emotional bonds with people.. he cannot. At the same time he is not emotionally impacted as I am. He cannot be disturbed and any attempt to do so can only be achieve through subconscious suggestions. Which conscious minds are far too ego driven to achieve. You don't understand this because, unlike me, your conscious doesn't reset for hours or days while I emotionally reboot every 30 seconds or less. Which means while you have a generously filled cup of emotion.. I have a mere shot glass worth and Hexi.. well no one even bought him a drink!!


The last part saying I don't understand I don't really get why you said that as I do understand perfectly what you are saying. What I don't understand is what emotions you are including here? I feel happyness/sadness etc. But I cannot make attachments with people like love. But I can feel hatred, very strongly.


ASPD is almost like us and it's a choice for you. You know.. if you moved to another side of town or something maybe you could start over and try living the life you've always wanted to live and just be yourself. There are people out there who will accept you. Your problem is you either don't accept them because your parents or church told you they were bad but eF that!


In the first bit are you effectively saying that I can effectively switch in and out of what people call anti-social behavour and if I wanted be a sociopath?

Also I don't get the last part it seems as if you have wrote that I don't accept people because my parents or church (i don't beleive in god) told me not to. I don't really see what you are getting at there.


Apart from those bits I found it a very intresting read.

But more to the point, how would you "lable" me then? If you were a Dr and you had to write something on a piece of paper to say what is "wrong" with me so to speak.

:EDIT:

I take it that you are not a sociopath? What label do they give you?

Re: I'm a sociopath and I don't want to be one :(

I cannot teach you the fundamentals of neuroscience if you do not have a stable structure of learning already established. Or rather. unless your mind is scientifically structured.. nothing I say will make sense to you as I cannot always relay the message to you in common talk and often must return to more scientific terminology and reasoning that your mind is unfamiliar with. Heh Hexi might just assume you are stupid because of your apparent egotistical downfalls. I just assume you are misguided.

The unconscious mind.. does not believe BS. That's why as a child you are so willing to accept the BS in the Bible and religion yet as you get older... your unconscious filters out all the BS. You stop believing in magic and crap that you can't see or you hesitate to do so simply because your mind is more unconsciously developed when you are older and it will not accept complete BS unless you are genetically compromised.

At the same time , the reason you are compelled to listen to me is because I am speaking to you with measurable amounts of structure and organization which your unconscious mind is stimulated by. I am a mind of reason and rational thought. Your unconscious mind functions just like I consciously appear to function.

Notice what I tell you is measurable. If you went to the bookstore at a local university... you too could get the same books of knowledge I have. I do not teach you a religion or philosophy of thought. I offer you true measurable knowledge. Which is the exciting part of all of this. You don't have to believe me. Simply pickup a neuroscience book and commit yourself to learning it. But it's not simple is it? Reading a book as such would crush your very perception of what reality is.

You are far more than your ego and I'm daring you to be more. The books are highly expensive but does brain science sound cheap or easy? Besides how important is knowledge to you? Do you really care why you think how you do or do you want to keep living in your hollow existance until one day you have an EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN and become.. closer to who you really are inside.


(Here's a religious theory behind Conscious. This way you can still have your God but yet a better understanding of him)
I offer you the unlocking of your true self and what I offer you is measurable in real terms. It is not just how you will feel but it is what you will know and only when these 2 parts of you can become 1 do you experience real harmony and spiritual happiness. Oh and in knowledge there really isn't despair as completing your natural design is how you spiritually can achieve harmony and peace with both your outside self and your inside self. As you will know in body and mind that what you do is right and that guilt you sometimes get will never return to you.

God wants you to become one with yourself... it makes it easier for him to talk to you cause instead of your mind making all that noise.. it is listening and while the unconscious mind will always obey God.. the conscious mind will always rebel. Your vary nature of disobeying God is a DEMONstration of your ability to reject him and in doing so.. create your own suffering. As he is with you regardless if you are with him or not. Meaning.. he always speaks through unconscious suggestions but you don't listen to him.

Knowledge is the power to rock the very foundation of men who built their houses on something other than rock. I believe Jesus said something similar. Funny how I understand what he means both literally and metaphorically.

Re: I'm a sociopath and I don't want to be one :(

Zenemy, I can assure you I am far from stupid. I am also scientifically minded having always acceled in such subjects and am now in my second year of maths in uni. Though I do not have the background knowllage which would likely be needed either way. Misguided I could agree with possibly.

I am very much into learning things and frequently find my self up at 5am in the morning because I was reading something just to learn about it. However I am not going to be spending money on books when the internet is a vast resource which is free.

You have however, not answered my questions about your post.

Re: I'm a sociopath and I don't want to be one :(

His Narc attributes are well displayed.

Notice how he takes aggressive stances with no material value. "I could do something but I wont." Is a common boasting of Narcs. His ego has allowed him logical blindness and he continues to challenge in a manner to assert his value but because of his obvious differences.. Hexi and I are a ble to easily distinguish the difference between him and us. Our minds are controlled by reason where as his mind is fueled by negative emotions brought about by failed parents who improperly applied compasion to their child.

No doubt he had a parent smothering him with positively reinforced attention and always praising the insignificant things he did cause lets be real.. that parent was just impressed that this retard could do anything right as, more than likely, he developed at a slower rate compared to other children and was unable to achieve the things they could. His parents noticed that their child was inferior, so in an attempt to counter balance this obvious difference.. they pampered his ego until he was all like "I am powerful but no one else sees it."

I'm sorry.. were you trying to be passively hostile with me? I prefer the direct approach. Now try to recover but keep in mind that nothing you say to me is going to stop me from laughing at that child you are still showing me. Awww.. did I hurt your feelings and cause you emotional disturbance.

You must have confused me with Jesus or your Preacher or maybe your psychologist. Really I could tell you anything because Narcs are too stupid to actually look up information. They are nothing more than grown up children. You've all got a little Narc in you. It's that part of your ego that tells you to be insignificant and attempt to attack the emotions of others. Psychopaths can instantly distinguish the difference between themselves and these sad children and rapidly make attempts to disassociate as normal egos are so.. unorganized that they associate psychopaths with narcs and then they think "That psycho did this to me." But in reality.. it was just a Narc.

It's important to notice the mild differences. Once you understand the differences.. you'll understand why a psychopath is a relaxed predator a Narc is just a sheep making a lot of noise cause they have been terrible hurt and no one ever taught them how to properly express the emotions.

Directly ask me the question and I will directly answer it within the reason of neuroscience or I can give you more biblical expressions.. whatever pampers the fragile ego that is the Narc.

You should feel bad for Narcs.. they are hurt and alone and they need others to feel good about themselves.

I can help you. Come to my house. I'll beat the crap out of you so bad that you will have no choice but to give up these false illusions of superiority and face the truth... you are human, you care what others think, and how you are acting does not make you happy but rather imprisons you in a manner which brings misery to your life.

I have challenged your ego. For all you claim.. your words are hollow and you have no real wisdom. Math is a known science. You are not a scientist. You are a mathematician. Way to give up on your dreams. It's okay, Honey. Don't listen to the bad man. You are a sweet and smart child no matter what they say.

Right memories?! Right.... Think back.. family always told you you were special. how come no one else is seeing it? omg... omg... nervous breakdown.. in your future... just waiting to happen.. LOL

"And it all crashes down, and your break your crown, and you point your finger, but there's no one around."

Re: I'm a sociopath and I don't want to be one :(

Zenemy

I'm sorry.. were you trying to be passively hostile with me? I prefer the direct approach. Now try to recover but keep in mind that nothing you say to me is going to stop me from laughing at that child you are still showing me. Awww.. did I hurt your feelings and cause you emotional disturbance.


Do tell me what bit gave you this impression? I question all that does not stand out as obvious to me. It is my nature and is the only logical way of doing things so that I may progress my undestanding of the topic at hand, what ever it may be.


You must have confused me with Jesus or your Preacher or maybe your psychologist. Really I could tell you anything because Narcs are too stupid to actually look up information. They are nothing more than grown up children. You've all got a little Narc in you. It's that part of your ego that tells you to be insignificant and attempt to attack the emotions of others. Psychopaths can instantly distinguish the difference between themselves and these sad children and rapidly make attempts to disassociate as normal egos are so.. unorganized that they associate psychopaths with narcs and then they think "That psycho did this to me." But in reality.. it was just a Narc.


If you think I am too stupid to look things up you are gravely mistaken. I would never of found this website in the first place if I had not of been reasearching into things. I did however presume I found someone who was intrested in helping others understand them selves but it appears you would rather boast about your knowlage on the subject without telling anything. I gather you beleive I am a "narc". I would be intrested to know why, not because it offends me because it is just a lable. But so I might better understand my self instead.


It's important to notice the mild differences. Once you understand the differences.. you'll understand why a psychopath is a relaxed predator a Narc is just a sheep making a lot of noise cause they have been terrible hurt and no one ever taught them how to properly express the emotions.


This does not however discribe me in the slighest because as I have stated before, I do not actively try and harm people.


I can help you. Come to my house. I'll beat the crap out of you so bad that you will have no choice but to give up these false illusions of superiority and face the truth... you are human, you care what others think, and how you are acting does not make you happy but rather imprisons you in a manner which brings misery to your life.

I have challenged your ego. For all you claim.. your words are hollow and you have no real wisdom. Math is a known science. You are not a scientist. You are a mathematician. Way to give up on your dreams. It's okay, Honey. Don't listen to the bad man. You are a sweet and smart child no matter what they say.

Right memories?! Right.... Think back.. family always told you you were special. how come no one else is seeing it? omg... omg... nervous breakdown.. in your future... just waiting to happen.. LOL

"And it all crashes down, and your break your crown, and you point your finger, but there's no one around."


You act as if it is I that is egotistical and up my selves but I feel you are no differnt. You try and bait me with all your words but I am smart enough to know you are just a person on the internet who just enjoys trying to bait and torment those that have come looking for help.

I gave you the best description I could of my self presuming you were intrested in helping but instead you have just tryed to use it to bait me and insult me.

Unfortunately you havn't won because you havn't hurt me in the slightest. Only shown your self as nothing more then a keyboard warrior. Shame. I thought you were a decent guy.

I'll find elsewhere instead.

Re: I'm a sociopath and I don't want to be one :(

David, that's just what Whitewolf does. Desperately tries to find some way he can say he's "superior". I'm not too sure why, maybe insecurities...?

Just try and ignore it when he does it, I don't think he quite realises he's doing it himself...

He obviously has no understanding of the very world around him; he claims to possess knowledge of certain subjects yet fails to provide when asked for some reason or another.

Well done on ignoring it, though.

Re: I'm a sociopath and I don't want to be one :(

 
David, that's just what Whitewolf does. Desperately tries to find some way he can say he's "superior". I'm not too sure why, maybe insecurities...?

Just try and ignore it when he does it, I don't think he quite realises he's doing it himself...

He obviously has no understanding of the very world around him; he claims to possess knowledge of certain subjects yet fails to provide when asked for some reason or another.

Well done on ignoring it, though.


Unfortunetly I realised it clearly in the first post but figured If I played along he would help me. But by the fact he ignored my questions the first time I realised it was becoming a lost cause and upon openly pointing out he had he appeared to just open fire on me as a person. What ever makes him happy.

Thankyou for your reply either way. I will find another forum which isn't full of people trying to eat those that turn up on it. A forum for help for mentaly troubled people and they act like that. Well...

:EDIT:

Intrestingly I also picked up that he was whitewolf by the way he spoke in other threads. I wonder why I was so lucky to get the alter ego.

Re: I'm a sociopath and I don't want to be one :(

im DOES thinking that you should all apologizes each other. if you doesnt apologizes then all WILL has sad mind and maybe not want POST here anymore? im DOES be sure that ZENEMY does tryes to help and maybe he does DO it wrong and i thinks he DOESNT should say mean THINGS like that. THATS why i does thinking that he should apologizes.

im DOES going to start agein from BEGINNING because i not posted in this topic before so:

David
Hello, I am a self diagnosed sociopath. I have never bothered to get my self diagnosed because quite frankly I'm far from stupid or ignorant and have never seen why I need someone else to tell me who I am. I know I feel no guilt and I know I have no attachment to my own family even though i've been brought up well. There are many other obvious connections but there is no reason to list them.

The point of my post is that I am starting to get extreamly depressed about the relisation that my only goal in life is to make money and it always has been. I don't want to live a sad life alone, nor do I was to pretend I have a family I love. I really have no idea what to do, I'm struggling to see the point of my own existence at the moment in truth.

Anyone else suffering the same?
im does thinking that maybe you DOES values intelligence too MANY? if you does accepts that all peoples does has VERY GOOD smartness in many ways maybe then you does be HAPPIER. everyone DOES has problems and everyone DOES has happy times and people normally DOES be happy. IM does be happy. how does you VIEWS emotion? what does you thinks ABOUT emotion?
im DOES gives you advice okey? this maybe does CAN helps you. does goes to LOOK for someone you DOES respects very much and does LOOKS up to but it not can be ENYONE. it does needs be someone who is DIFFERENTLY then you. that does i thinks is GOOD advice for helping. maybe you should GOES to church too and pray it not need be christian religion it can does be enything.

but mine question is TO you:
yours TEXT does be very much thought and does be WRITTEN in moment like you does living in MOMENT and maybe you then look into yourself and write like you DOES looks through mirror. does you thinks you did writted all your posts honestly and with real heart?

Thank you for writing in forums

~Lega

Re: I'm a sociopath and I don't want to be one :(

I'm DOES thinking that HEXI DOES NOTS care what you thinks and I am of thinking that Zenemy DOES cares what you thinks but DOES NOT caresamoment later as he DOES NOTS HAS the emotional ability to maintain conscious thoughts. So EVEN though he DOES cares what YOU DO SAY.. he LOSES ability to MAINTAIN CARE so he does goes back to THINKING like HEXI DOES think NORMALS.

My ego tells me to strike you down. As you can see.. I am human. That attack had a lot more power available but my ego is compassionate enough not to destroy you on sight.. like Hexi might.

Re: I'm a sociopath and I don't want to be one :(

does you tryes to make FUN of me? i not understands why.
then MAYBE i does be wrong that you dident actually try to help and only did sayed mean THINGS to bully people and i does THINKS that does be bad thing to do. Maybe you not APOLOGIZES but why does you has so much angryness inside i only DOES tryes to help. Maybe i DOES can helps you too.. but you DOES needs tell what problem is.
All peoples DOES be special and i not think you need show how special you is because i thinks you is very SMART and not need show it by bully others. david does BE very good math person and you does be very good book person and hexi does SEES thruth in things so we does all be special and im does be very good in HELPING peoples. There does being very MANY other things like HONESTLY and COURAGE and things like THAT too.
if you DOES wants you can makes own topic to HELP you and i does will be there for you. You must trusts me. And if you DOES be even more angryness because i try help you then NOT let it go into insult other people you can INSULTS me but doesnt insults innocent peoples you does can LETS your angryness maybe insults me if you does HAS to.

Re: I'm a sociopath and I don't want to be one :(

Zenemy
like Hexi might.


Not worth it. I draw a line to mentally handicapped people. It's beneath me.

Re: I'm a sociopath and I don't want to be one :(

Hexi
Zenemy
like Hexi might.


Not worth it. I draw a line to mentally handicapped people. It's beneath me.
Why DOES you says that so proud? i DOES thinks it be not good ESPECIALY to try destroys mentally handicapped peoples but why you does wants to DESTROYS enyone? what does makes you LIKE that maybe i can DOES cures you but why no one even tryes to get into mine help? I does be professional. How you can KNOWS what something DOES be if you not even tryed?

Maybe i DOES can help you TOO i does WANTS to help people i not understands why people does gets so angry. You probably doesnt understands that i does prays to God and does get help from Him too. I did mated a person one time and he did had many troubles in LIFE and i did helped him too. It did TAKED long and he did struggled many times i not healed him i not miracles worker he did do it HIMSELF but i did gived him guidance. If this does not be PROOF then what does be?

And no i doesnt "hears" God but i does feels Him..

Re: I'm a sociopath and I don't want to be one :(

Hexi
Zenemy
My ego tells me to strike you down. As you can see.. I am human. That attack had a lot more power available but my ego is compassionate enough not to destroy you on sight.. like Hexi might.


Not worth it. I draw a line to mentally handicapped people. It's beneath me.


Lega, sometimes the questions answer themselves and only over time do we EXPERIENCE this knowledge. The more you experience something.. the more exposure you have to a stimuli.. the more you play baseball.. the more you learn it's a lot more fun to play than watch but **** is baseball boring to even play. I swear I only watch highlights. ****.. I drifted off.. maybe if I had more ADD meds I could tolerate the disgusting thought of trying to explain myself to him but without drugs.. no stimuli desire to do anything more than rant. lol

Oh and I LOLed a t that fool who "thinks" he's a sociopath. Doesn't it remind you of Waynes World?

"For a long time I thought I was depressed. Just turns out I had mono."

Sorry but really.. it's quite insulting both to me and Hexi that any of you even attempt to associate with him when you are all nothing more than shallow egos who cannot bare the thoughts of what you did as children.. simply because no one ever taught you how to properly process feelings and never explained things to you.

I'm sorry you were raised by stupid and now all the lies of stupid come crashing down around you. I'm sorry you accept false realities that people project on you as if they are real. I'm sorry not for you but for that feeling inside you that always tells you what the right thing is to do.. but your ego is so loud and stupid that you refuse to just.. give in and let that voice do what you know you should do. But you don't want to be controlled by feelings that make you feel good about yourselves..that's scary.. fags.

I make people pay me for this knowledge and they never ever feel cheated because unlike that priest who gives you nothing.. I fill your cup with knowledge and reason. I explain why even under Science there is still room for your faith and how the Bible always told you these things but you never heard it because no one ever taught you what those feelings you have really meant.

Bring me your sick, being me your wounded, bring me your empty cup, and I will fill it not by projecting on you my thoughts but rather explaining to you your thoughts in a manner you can understand.

My body is scared. But you know what.. I rather like it. For each time I have fallen, so to have I risen again. The scares of my body are nothing more than learning experiences. Times when I have suffered and yet.. I don't concede. I can't help but stand on accomplish. It is the foundation from which we should all stand upon.

Examples of my foundation:

-I know what it is to have been beaten, punched, had stuff thrown at you... as a child.
-I know what it is to have been physically burned and tortured.
-I know what it is to suffer brain damage that takes a kid with ADHD and shatter him into simple ADD. To any parent of a child who has ADHD. Imagine your child fell, broke his brain, and now.. that child that reminded you of when you were a child and you saw so much of yourself in this child but.. now the child is not the same at all... broken forever. Would you stop loving that child.. or do everything you could to make up for what you did.. how you failed. Imagine that grief. What would you do? How far would you go? Now imagine the whole time you've been thinking about this out loud.. your child has been sitting at the door listening to you...
-I know what it is to lie not because you want to lie but simply because if you don't lie.. your parents might beat you. So I know how you feel when you instinctively lie to someone and you really didn't mean to.. I know how you feel. Just something you were so used to as a child.

I bleed.. and you know what.. I like these scares. They remind me of how far I have come. For even with all these emotional scares.. I do not hate. I know because the real physical experience of pain has taught me.. I am not immortal. I can and I do bleed.

People who have suffered know better than to judge others on how they look or appear. They know through experience what it is to suffer and that knowledge about a person.. must be looked at carefully. That a drunk dad who beats his children may appear outwardly normal but at home... he's a different person.

That's experience. Knowledge without experience is nothing for experience must be something you experience and not something you simply read from a book. That's why a doctor who has a lot of experience in the field is far more valuable than some rookie from Harvard.

I have suffered.. I understand through experience the feelings of others. I am not some fool who thinks watching other people is going to teach me everything there is to know about them. I do not measure people in such a mid-evil method. I may act stereotypical but that is ADD forcing me to amuse myself. I like not taking meds sometimes. After all is this not who I am?

I know psychology (EASIEST CLASSES IN COLLEGE FOR A REASON) and I am being taught neuroscience, which is vastly superior in that the information is supported by science. Knowing "why" something is the way it is can actually help you understand your own feelings.

But I am Zenemy.. In Zen that means I am the enemy of the enemy within you. In English it means that even though I wound your ego.. I never harm you as a person.

www.BF2S.com Look up Zenemy.

That's me... long before you knew me I was already known for crushing the egos of others but notice how my favorite kit is medic. Even on the battlefield, I'm thinking of others...

Hexi, I often find it funny to imagine anyone trying to analyze the random denominator caused by ADD. Often they assume bi polar or unipolar or psychopathy but they never really know because I never really tell them. What does that say? Am I really good or are they really bad? I agree, they are really bad. Oh and you read this whole thing because it had structures your mind and ego both appreciated. Egos always think you are going to have to break them in order to fix the person but that's only true for some Narcs. Everyone else can be reasoned with because their minds have logical structures and they know they don't have to like me in order for my structure to help them.

Re: I'm a sociopath and I don't want to be one :(

Zenemy
Sorry but really.. it's quite insulting both to me and Hexi that any of you even attempt to associate with him when you are all nothing more than shallow egos who cannot bare the thoughts of what you did as children.. simply because no one ever taught you how to properly process feelings and never explained things to you.

I'm sorry you were raised by stupid and now all the lies of stupid come crashing down around you. I'm sorry you accept false realities that people project on you as if they are real. I'm sorry not for you but for that feeling inside you that always tells you what the right thing is to do.. but your ego is so loud and stupid that you refuse to just.. give in and let that voice do what you know you should do. But you don't want to be controlled by feelings that make you feel good about yourselves..that's scary.. fags.

i DOES not be sure what you does thinks be insulting. What you does mean what peoples did as children? I does wants to really knows. I wants to understands YOU and maybe if you tells me more about this maybe i does CAN better understands you as PERSON. I does be sure you DOES has many things to teach to me and OTHER PEOPLES. i does has ALREADY learned from you some things.
I does has many THINGS to tell peoples TOO.

Zenemy
My body is scared. But you know what.. I rather like it. For each time I have fallen, so to have I risen again. The scares of my body are nothing more than learning experiences. Times when I have suffered and yet.. I don't concede. I can't help but stand on accomplish. It is the foundation from which we should all stand upon.

Examples of my foundation:

-I know what it is to have been beaten, punched, had stuff thrown at you... as a child.
-I know what it is to have been physically burned and tortured.
-I know what it is to suffer brain damage that takes a kid with ADHD and shatter him into simple ADD. To any parent of a child who has ADHD. Imagine your child fell, broke his brain, and now.. that child that reminded you of when you were a child and you saw so much of yourself in this child but.. now the child is not the same at all... broken forever. Would you stop loving that child.. or do everything you could to make up for what you did.. how you failed. Imagine that grief. What would you do? How far would you go? Now imagine the whole time you've been thinking about this out loud.. your child has been sitting at the door listening to you...
-I know what it is to lie not because you want to lie but simply because if you don't lie.. your parents might beat you. So I know how you feel when you instinctively lie to someone and you really didn't mean to.. I know how you feel. Just something you were so used to as a child.

I bleed.. and you know what.. I like these scares. They remind me of how far I have come. For even with all these emotional scares.. I do not hate. I know because the real physical experience of pain has taught me.. I am not immortal. I can and I do bleed.

People who have suffered know better than to judge others on how they look or appear. They know through experience what it is to suffer and that knowledge about a person.. must be looked at carefully. That a drunk dad who beats his children may appear outwardly normal but at home... he's a different person.

I have suffered.. I understand through experience the feelings of others. I am not some fool who thinks watching other people is going to teach me everything there is to know about them. I do not measure people in such a mid-evil method. I may act stereotypical but that is ADD forcing me to amuse myself. I like not taking meds sometimes. After all is this not who I am?
I does understands a BIT more about you now it be very bad that you DID gotted bad childhood and i DOES thinks that you does learns from EXPERIENCES too yes you DOES be right. I does maybe THINKS i know what problem maybe BE. Does you can TELLS me more about yours childhood? What does you THINKS about life now? What you did THINKED before? What has you learned?

Zenemy
I know psychology (EASIEST CLASSES IN COLLEGE FOR A REASON) and I am being taught neuroscience, which is vastly superior in that the information is supported by science. Knowing "why" something is the way it is can actually help you understand your own feelings.
Yes i does thinks this neuroscience does be PROBABLY good thing. Many good things does COMES from it but it DOES comes from other things too. But i not KNOWS very much about neuroscience so that why i NOT can says very much.

Zenemy
But I am Zenemy.. In Zen that means I am the enemy of the enemy within you. In English it means that even though I wound your ego.. I never harm you as a person.

www.BF2S.com Look up Zenemy.

That's me... long before you knew me I was already known for crushing the egos of others but notice how my favorite kit is medic. Even on the battlefield, I'm thinking of others...

Now i has listened to you. Can you please listens to me now?

I not think you does can be Zenemy yet. When you DOES can be Zenemy you does no longer NEEDS be Zenemy.
That does be what i WANTS to say. You not needs answers this but i just asks that you DOES reads very carefully what i DID writed.

Re: I'm a sociopath and I don't want to be one :(

We are two people divided by the same language.

It is sad that without more verbal or physical ques, I am unable to rely the message to you but that is a downfall of text communication. Which is why we should never base all our knowledge simply off the perception of one sense and use them all as we are often fooled by just trusting one sense. That's why I try to give you knowledge instead. Something you can measure for yourself.

Re: I'm a sociopath and I don't want to be one :(

Zenemy
We are two people divided by the same language.

It is sad that without more verbal or physical ques, I am unable to rely the message to you but that is a downfall of text communication. Which is why we should never base all our knowledge simply off the perception of one sense and use them all as we are often fooled by just trusting one sense. That's why I try to give you knowledge instead. Something you can measure for yourself.
I THINKS that does not be true. I already has LEARNED many things from you and other peoples here too.

From you i HAS learned that experiences does helps peoples to understand others. I has learned that science does HAS good things in psychology TOO. I has learned that PEOPLES can develop and grow in LATER AGES very fast too. I has learned more about why PEOPLES does says something and why peoples NOT say something. I does has LEARNED not looks peoples how they APPEARS and to looks what peoples are. I has gotted confirmation in MINE own abilities to helps peoples.

This does be things i has LEARNED from you, what you has SAYED, what you ARE and from your faults too.

What has you learned from other peoples?

Re: I'm a sociopath and I don't want to be one :(

i has ALSO learned that people does respects other peoples that is like THEMSELFS and also respects what DOES be unknown but peoples does not usually likes what they WAS before and so that be why also they not usually likes peoples that ARE like they was before.

Re: I'm a sociopath and I don't want to be one :(

Lega
i has ALSO learned that people does respects other peoples that is like THEMSELFS and also respects what DOES be unknown but peoples does not usually likes what they WAS before and so that be why also they not usually likes peoples that ARE like they was before.


You.. look.. I accept text-type cause lets face it.. I'm no where near perfect. So my thought is this, as long as your paragraphs are fluid and I can read them.. it's all good. I also understand how much we all hate those petty people who have nothing to say so they're like "oh look you spelled a word wrong! haha!". To those people I say this.. everytime, no matter where I see people do this, I remember little Rofio being all mad that Pan (Robin Williams) beat him at his own game and when he had nothing left he looked at Whitewolf and said... "You man!!! ....You stupid! stupid! man!!"

People understand me when I talk because I speak rather fluidly. That means my words flow.

It's not fair to me.. to learn to composs English and spend all this time trying to find new ways to express my thoughts to people through analogies I can understand and what not.. just to have someone come RAPE my language and TELLS me crap that leaves ME to believe.. he's retarded.

I cannot relay my thoughts accurately enough to Lega to communicate with him.

Or as Lega would say.. " I HAS Rtarded."

You want me to address your thoughts.. have someone come express them to me in exact terms I can understand. I don't want to take a chance of misinterpreting you and I thought giving you such a consideration was respectful. Now I'm just telling you to stop. Trying to read your crap.. offends my mania and I lack the meds to talk to you.

So really.. it's my fault, Lega. Perhaps someone else can answer your questions or rephrase them into a more proper english and I hate saying that to you cause.. I hate proper engrish.

Re: I'm a sociopath and I don't want to be one :(

I seem to be loosing my contributions before I post them. I was writting my opinion but I lost it so this time I will try to be "more" succinct.

I have been researching psycopathy for another purpose but I have come across some information about sociopathy that might be useful. Since I have been around psychologists and psychiatrists for a long time now, I can even have some helpful insight but I must tell you this: a forum is not the best place to seek an answer to such delicate matters. The first thing anyone should have posted here was "I can't tell for sure from what you have said and you should seek professional help". I'll give you my opinion to see if at least it abates your depressive state but be careful about what people reply: "a little knowledge is a dangerous thing."

The debate of whether or not a sociopath would care about being a sociopath is very relevent. As far as I can tell from my sources, sociopaths couldn't care less for their state of being and do not show any of the care you have showened for proper etiquette when talking to other people. No sociopath would ever say "thank you" or "please" in the way you have said it. Even if a sociopath had any problem with his behaviour, I profoundly doubt he would be depressed as you say you are.

You can still be a sociopath but you are probably under the influence of other disfunctional views of reality that are not so severe.

You yourself said you self-diagnosed the disease and not even psychiatrists do that in general: they know that self-diagnosing mental disorders is nearly impossible and very unwise. Professionals in the area, who suspect that they are lacking mental balance, always consult their peers for a third view opinion that they themselves cannot have.

Please, find yourself a good professional in the area: find one with who you can create a good therapeutic relation even if you have to try different persons.

Some people are just more distant and cold than others; some people had an infancy that didn't teach them the proper social skills to have a truly functional relation with others.

Think about it: do you go out of your way to break social rules? Do you hurt the people around you deliberatly? Did you have fun causing misery to others (to people or animals) while you were a child or a teenager?

There are many factors to take into account: you can still be a sociopath but you should definitely seek professional help.

First of all stop your recursive thoughts about the problem and try to reduce your anxiety. Seek help elsewhere.

I hope you find some peace about this subject soon.

-- What am I doing here? --

I am currently doing research on several topics for a few books and articles I am writing. I would like to make a positive contribution to fora (plural of "forum") about such topics in order to get constructive views on those matters for a better perspective on them. This is why I came here. I will not indulge myself in flamming and will not respond directly to any clearly non-constructive replies.

I have read some of Dr. Robert's responses to certain questions and I find them lacking and biased. Still, I truly wish to know what people who come here, and even Dr. Robert himself, think about my points of view for three reasons. First: I know I can, very easily, be wrong and I should keep an eye out for other opinions. Second: all points of view are important to have perspective on any matter, specially the ones one doesn't agree with. Third: wisdom can come from very strange places and one should not underestimate anyone as far as knowledge and wisdom are concerned.

Please, give me honest and constructive replies: I will return in kind.

"The slumber of reason creates monsters." - Goya

Re: I'm a sociopath and I don't want to be one :(

i does liked to say first: welcome to forums!!!!!!
it does be good to has new smart MIND here agein. This forums DOES has been living in mirror world some times now maybe you can takes forums BACKS to real world you does LOOKS like that kind of PERSON.


yours post does seems very good but i does asks this: what does HAPPENS if sociopath dosent exists? What does happens if there dosent be people who does be sociopaths realy and maybe there does only be people who does ignores feelings like you does can hears songs but you no wants to listens to them or dossent knows how to listens to song.


Be well
~Lega

Re: I'm a sociopath and I don't want to be one :(

i'm not a socio but i recently met both a narc and a socio in the same context and the difference was very marked.

the socio was silently powerful, elusive and unpredictable, the narc was like a child who's buttons were easy to press, hissing and hating at anyone or anything that crossed his path. quite something and I desired to never meet another like him again.
i'll take a socio over a narc anyday. i'll take anyone over a narc anyday.

Re: I'm a sociopath and I don't want to be one :(

I always thought you were a Christian, Whitewolf, yet call the Bible "BS"?

Re: I'm a sociopath and I don't want to be one :(

 
I always thought you were a Christian, Whitewolf, yet call the Bible "BS"?

Just for reference, we all already know it's Wolf, even the "challenged" Lega.

Re: I'm a sociopath and I don't want to be one :(

I am also a self diagnosed sociopath and I don't want to be one either. I am suicidal but lack the guts to go thru with it. I hate living like this . my oldest daughter is just like me and hates herself. both my kids have cut me off. there is no help forme I am led to believe.