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Re: I envy psychopathic lack of emotion

Hexi
Whitewolf


Nice defensive stance. It'll serve you well on your way to oblivion.


I don't need to defend myself from such elementary bull****. Get some new material and put some effort into it. Do you actually think you're clever?


I think Dr. Robert Lang MD is clever. I think him and a lot of like minded research doctors know at least how to give me structure of thought.

See I don't just jump into crap like you do. I refine my knowledge through education if I want to know more about something. Grab a few books and find the ones that are more appealing and read them first. Then read the others I found less appealing to see what aspects they can add... even though my ego does not like it.

Everything is just math. You learn a formula as a way of thinking. So everything in life has a formula from which you can decode truths.

I read books of learning to expand my knowledge. So when I have opinions or theories.. much of my theories are based off of supported evidence. I keep my books of knowledge as well. That way I have reference points. I am well educated and my ways of thinking reflect the structures I have learned.

I structured thought and my structured thought is reliable. My ego often collides with it but I have learned ways around the uglier parts of me.

Like when Dr Robert mentioned our egos colliding and how ugly that is. He didn't really say it was us but more an aspect of us that was acting bad. So in doing that he separates us as a whole from our ego driven actions.

oops lol

Re: I envy psychopathic lack of emotion

See, you're the hero of the movie. The champion of all that is good and just. I'm the short guy with a hood up, smoking a cig and having a sword on my shoulder, snorting at you because your greatness is meaningless to me, it has no value whatsoever in my view. You bash in your glory, i move on to the next thing that interests me enough to put effort into, a drifter. Almost all your obsrvations and analyzes have been wrong as you seem to assume i want to be like you, i really, really don't.

Re: I envy psychopathic lack of emotion

Hexi
See, you're the hero of the movie. The champion of all that is good and just. I'm the short guy with a hood up, smoking a cig and having a sword on my shoulder, snorting at you because your greatness is meaningless to me, it has no value whatsoever in my view. You bash in your glory, i move on to the next thing that interests me enough to put effort into, a drifter. Almost all your obsrvations and analyzes have been wrong as you seem to assume i want to be like you, i really, really don't.


You always go back to thinking someone is trying to "project their thoughts" on you. There is some trigger in your head that always causes you to rebel... It's easier to run.

Anyway you express yourself just fine and really.. only you are backing yourself into the corner. Or do you not remember saying "I'm the short guy with a hood up, smoking a cig". Converted into real thought you said.. "I'm not as big and strong as you but I'm interesting and special in my own way." I agree. I don't want you to be me either..

You judge them just as bad as they judge you. Why don't you just get over it and be better than them already?

Also you have that rebelling child syndrome still. Every time someone of certain stature attempts to influence you.. you assume the defensive position (as you are mentally trained to react to the stimuli) and run away.

I made an AMV to express myself after I got divorced. I spent so much time on this videos concept that the actual video I released was really just the beta version. If you had seen the anime it was spawned after and then watched the video.. you could see the double and triple meanings of many things I added. My point is.. maybe you should express yourself more.. regardless of how defensive you are. If you express yourself more artistically.. people may warm up to you. Cause really they just don't understand. I mean think about it.. Narcs outnuber us 100/1 and they are out there right now actively preying on people every day. Psychopaths prefer to be alone and seldom prey on anyone they don't have to. Are you a real threat? No, you are just a victim of a label.

http://www.animemusicvideos.org/members/members_videoinfo.php?v=27125

Re: I envy psychopathic lack of emotion

haha, i said that because at that time, i did have my hoodie on with the hood up and a cig in my mouth as i was about to go out for a smoke. I didn't actually think much of the metaphor, the last part was more important. You analyze what i write too much at times, other times you miss the point on purpose and use the toby tactic to try and annoy me, it's amusing. :)

It's easy to just move on and ignore people as i don't form attachments to anything, that's not running away. I spend time doing something as long as it interests me and then i move on. It suits me fine and i'm not gonna defend it.

I don't seek the approval of others to validate my existence. Like i said, it's meaningless to me.

Re: I envy psychopathic lack of emotion

Hexi
It's easy to just move on and ignore people as i don't form attachments to anything, that's not running away. I spend time doing something as long as it interests me and then i move on. It suits me fine and i'm not gonna defend it.

I don't seek the approval of others to validate my existence. Like i said, it's meaningless to me.


Ha! That sounds so much like me. Can't form attachments to anything. Going through life like a wheel...But still, I don't seek validation from anyone either. I couldn't care less...

Re: I envy psychopathic lack of emotion

Neither of you possess the mental capacity to find your purpose in life. Your life is meaningless as you will never have the capacity to define it. Trapped b y your own ignorant and blind egos you are ****ed to suffer till the end of time.

Live with the knowledge that there are those among you who are superior to you, who rose where you have fallen, and who will never see you as anything more than you are.. wasted potential destroyed by ego.

Ka cha!!

Re: I envy psychopathic lack of emotion

I will, live that is, without the validation of others. Shame you will never accomplish that as you cannot function without others feeding your vanity, quite ironic.

Re: I envy psychopathic lack of emotion

I am.. compelled to pursue you, Hexi.

I'm sorry I keep backing you into the corner. I just have this drive to.. hunt you. For some reason I am seeing you as weak and inferior. It makes me feel compelled to have aggression towards you. I don't know if it's an attempt to help you or an attempt to just hunt you because I see you as weak. But for whatever reason I acknowledge it's my fault we have been having these conflicting conversation.

But I will not deny my desires even though I logically understand them. I am compelled to inflict certain pains on you. As if to punish you for being weak and acting out of line.

I really believe I can fix you through physical violence. i wouldn't employ that method against them but against you.. it would be fun to break your ego. Nothing like hurting someone in order to help them. It's all love though. No anger like you.. no dwelling on dark thoughts and being stuck in the void. I left that behind. Enjoy!

Re: I envy psychopathic lack of emotion

Whitewolf
Oh and Dragontongue.. I didn't read your post. LOL It's the simple things that get me in life.

Really? Oh, goodie! And here I was a bit ticked at myself for telling you a dumb dream like that just because I was bored. ^^ Life is good to me sometimes!

Re: I envy psychopathic lack of emotion

Whitewolf
Tell me a relatively short story. Make it something powered by your imagination. Anyone. tell me a story or a reoccurring dream. I want to train.

Cool! I'm up for that. How's this?

I dreamed that I was in my mother's room, walking past that tall, wall-mounted mirror she has next to the closet. Something in the mirror caught my eye, and I turned to look. The first thing I saw was my reflection. It didn't look like me. This girl was so beautiful! I couldn't even look at her face at first. She wore my clothes with a style I could never manage. Her hair was so dark and pretty... all soft black waves and curls... and then I saw her eyes. They were red. I was... entranced, I suppose you could say. I couldn't move or look away. I didn't want to. And when I realized that, she smiled. It was not a particularly nice smile, but it was beautiful all the same. And as she smiled--so slowly--I felt myself changing. I felt myself straightening up, standing more confidently. I felt my hair becoming longer, heavier. I felt her smile growing on my face. I felt myself--the person I had been--dying. And I felt powerful. Strong, beautiful, confident, triumphant. I laughed softly with my reflection in the mirror--and woke.

Re: I envy psychopatic lack of emotion

Ok, just wanna say, yes it feels pathetic trying to control people around you... But it's just for one of a few reasons: 1. A rush 2. Being bored 3. Anger 4. Other reasons I don't remember...

Which I don't know why I have so much anger, or jealousy...I think the jealousy is not because I give a **** about another person, but it's something inside of me.

I feel like I can't be happy BECAUSE OF others. I feel like I can only be happy in isolation. Just me. I seriously dislike people... Somebody might say I am disrespectful but I can't even see it... It's like I don't even know what they're talking about. I couldn't care less about people's approval. That's got me in a bit of trouble throughout my life.

It's like they see things I can't see... Or maybe I see beyond what they see. It's strange. I react differently to things.