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Re: I envy psychopatic lack of emotion

sounds like you already are a partial psychopath by the sounds of it, OR it could be you have zero trust in people because of some serious anger/resentment in your past you are holding on to?
i have to say life seems easier, more simple without emtions, and i envy it also...as mine have not helped me in the least.
BUT if you have a tiny heart in there somewhere, you have the chance to let it grow, and then you have a shot at real love, and that does seem to make people happy. psychopaths etc.. they are unable to feel happy, but you at least have a shot.
trying to make yourself something you aren't will only add to your misery. If you are an empathic person - deep down, then you don't have a choice, better to choose to move in the direction that will make you happy rather than long to be something you simply cannot be- because your guilt will build up and you will wind up hating yourself.
It sounds like you have had a really tough time...You have some good insight into yourself also, very self aware, so knowing yourself is a good first step.. have you considered therapy? maybe you should just make a choice which way you are going to go, and evaluate the pros and cons, and then just commit..
take care, B

Re: I envy psychopatic lack of emotion

Dolly Madison, you do not have to be enslaved to your emotions. Find ways to become more aware of what is going on inside you and pick up some techniques to manage your feelings.

Envy is a waste of time and energy that is better spent getting yourself together.

Re: I envy psychopatic lack of emotion

There are pathways of thought in your mind. The pathways people choose most often are easiest pathways to access. This means.. that if you constantly choose anger.. anger becomes easier to achieve after a while. It also means that it is quite literally harder to "do the right thing" if you are a person who constantly concedes to the easy and weak emotions of anger.

I do not concede to anger unless it is an unconscious decision. That is because I am wiser than the likes of you. I have a great deal of power and I must treat that power with respect and restraint. Sure I could just massacre you all. But then I would have to fight the strongest tribe (the police) and I know I would lose. You're not worth dying for. None of you insects are worth dying for. You lack the integrity required for me to even consider you more than the simple minded animals you are.

No, not all people are this way. There are a great deal of people who still possess a soul and don't go around preying on each other. Your kind.. always thinking you are so sneaky and clever. You're all just morons trying to obtain the false illusion of power over one another. I am the only real power. All are equal under my judgement. Your money means nothing to me. Your car and clothing mean nothing to me. I judge people on how they were raised and how they overcame difficulties.

I admire those who choose paths of more difficulty. Who don't concede to simple minded tactics but actually evolve themselves and grow as individuals.

You.. are a waste of space on my planet. In a world ruled by my logic.. you die. Truly a great deal of you mean nothing to me. Those who would seek to harm one another for no more reason than to control.. are worthless creatures. You are not the alpha.

You are just some pathetic creature who couldn't withstand the emotional abuse of your raising and now have a failed cooping mechanism for power. You realize what a terrible creature you are and you wish you could just turn off that unconscious part of your mind?

Here's a better idea. Grow up. Life is hard and you're going to be treated unfair ALL OF YOUR LIFE. The more you try to control the less power you have.

Re: I envy psychopatic lack of emotion

Your reply was brilliant. It really was. You go deep into it. I have been trying to achieve that power of restraint that you have. Mind is a beast, you gotta control it or else it controls you. I think it is pathetic trying to control others, you're right on that. I personally don't care about money either, or cars, or the clothes you were, or **** like that... I do judge people on how they went through life. This is one main reason I don't respect others so easily...Not everybody chooses that difficult path in life. I need mental stimulation, hard to get on just your average Joe. PS. I actually had quite a normal childhood.

Re: I envy psychopatic lack of emotion

Are you sure you care or simply helive you must have emotions as it's normal? I lied to myself for a long time, telling myself how to feel even when i didn't. I actually thought that thinking that something is wrong is the same thing, but it isn't.

Internal monologue: Doing that is wrong. Is it? Why? Because you shouldn't steal, it's not right for you to take. Why? You know what? I don't know. Good, as i don't care.

Re: I envy psychopatic lack of emotion

I've actually asked myself that quite a few times Hexi. I wonder if I'm really just programming myself to say things just because that's the way they're supposed to be. Words without meaning. I've wondered that same thing: If just thinking something is wrong is the same as feeling it. But it isn't...Maybe I've been lying to myself as well.

Re: I envy psychopatic lack of emotion

I think it's easy for socios/psychopaths to lie to themselves without even understanding if they don't think about it. I mean... how do you know a thought from a feeling if you don't question what a feeling is and you just assume thoughts of negativity or positivity are feelings?

Re: I envy psychopathic lack of emotion

What is the difference between a thought and a feeling? Hormones?

Re: I envy psychopathic lack of emotion

I think there is a quantifiable physical reaction in you when you feel emotions. The brain tells you good or bad and you feel it in your body. An extreme of this effect is the rush of adrenaline in you to survive a life-threatening situation or a state of extreme rage. Doing something negative to another human being without any reason or provocation and feeling nothing is a good indication that you lack compassion atleast, just outright stabbing someone in the face for fun is taking it to the extreme but it brings a certain clarity to your own mind. Now, i'm not saying you should go out and stab a random person but you should experiment what makes you tick and, consequently, what doesn't.

Re: I envy psychopathic lack of emotion

You can guess all day and night or you can pickup books and read. I've read "The Dream Workbook" by Robert Langs MD. I'm reading "Neuroscience: Exploring the brain" now. I even got "Dreams: A way to listen to God" by some joker named Morton Kelsey... for the Biblical translations of the science or (insert Christian theme). Freaking Christians... even science would be considered pagan had they their way.

All I've learned points me to believe that your awareness controls less of your life than you realize. Sometimes those thoughts that come to your head are actually unconscious suggestions. What makes you feel bad about decisions you make? You know what you did was wrong because your unconscious TOLD YOU it was wrong and you did it anyway. Why do you stay up all night thinking about things you could have and should have done/said? Unconscious mind told you to do things and you didn't. Therefore it punishes you with grief. You are here to serve your unconscious just as it is designed to serve you.

That voice in the back of your head.. is a part of your brain telling you to do smart things. Your unconscious does not care about your morals or any of that crap. It seeks only the self preservation and it maintains the emotional output to the conscious mind.

I believe it's fair to say your cooping mechanisms (Drinking, drugs) in life are the aware minds direct attempt to avoid unconscious suggestions/guilt/emotional torment. If you remember that all emotions are first received by the unconscious and then transferred to the conscious... it is fair to say that what you emotionally are capable of experiencing is decided by your unconscious.

Decisions are made in your head without the aware minds knowledge of such. Also the aware mind often employs denial as a form of cooping with burdensome knowledge. Any thoughts of yourself or others are usually powered by the conscious mind as the unconscious does not concern itself with insignificant issues. Also issues of emotional defense are handled by the conscious as the unconscious has already filtered such thoughts and allowed them to bare down on the conscious.

According to Robert Langs MD, the unconscious is highly structured and prefers well defined borders. The unconscious mind also creates the undertone of feelings based ideas...

A psychopath lacks much of the emotional capacity set forth by the aware mind. We don't feel pain or sorrow for our actions. Which could mean that in some ways the conscious mind is attached directly to these parts of the brain and once those parts go missing.. there are less conscious ideas. Giving the unconscious more power to directly influence conscious decisions. If the psychopath was ruled more by unconscious and the unconscious mind is responsible for the transference of emotion to the conscious mind.. it would explain the lack of remorse. As the unconscious mind has no morals other than those designed in the interest of its own survival. The unconscious is considered a more natural and primitive part of the brain yet it is responsible for maintaining all of your bodies functions and attempts to maintain the mental state of the aware mind. Quite absurd that it is considered to be the primitive part of the mind in some textbooks but more so this simply enforces the idea that the aware mind is truly defensive and cannot even acknowledge the superiority of the unconscious. My awareness has no such issue with the matter.

Explain to me shock. What part of the mind is experiencing shock if not the unconscious? Why is it we go into shock? Why not just experience all that pain? An unconscious decision was made without the aware minds knowledge. Your unconscious mind wants nothing more than to protect you (the aware part of your mind). So allowing you to endure terrible agony would put too much physical stress on the body. The unconscious understands the limitations of the conscious mind and simply shuts you down. Turns you off into sleep mode. In metaphoric terms.. you are a child and your unconscious mind is the parent who protects you. You are never alone.

Who carries you when you fall? Your unconscious mind. It's what keeps you going. It handles all the pain you cannot. It filters what it can to censor your mental existence in a manner in which is sustainable to the conscious mind. It tries so hard to fix you, to talk to you in your dreams, and explain to you that all your suffering is only because you do not listen to it. If you would listen... you could have inner peace. Fatal dreams are usually an unconscious way of telling you that your existence is not secured. Unrealistic dreams where you bounce place to place usually means severe unconscious anxiety. You may not feel the anxiety but a part of you does. Dreams that are sexually discomforting usually mean you feel that your private space has been violated. Whether it be parents coming in your room, people breaking family rules, home intrusions... anytime you feel someone has stepped past your comfort zone. All of these dreams must be fueled by strong emotions.

Neuroscience: Exploring the brain 3rd edition: "Given the diversity of emotions we experience, there is no compelling reason to think that only one system, rather than several, is involved." ...in emotional processing. No one part of the brain controls all emotions and many areas that do control emotion also serve another unrelated function as well. Meaning they are not dedicated simply to emotion. Which adds to the complexity of understanding the mental mind in science terms.

Also the unconscious mind does not accept any bendable rule. All rules must be written in stone for the unconscious to acknowledge them. Just as psychopaths can easily justify WHY they break waivering laws. There's just no rule, good enough, for the unconscious to obey if it waivers in any manner. "If the rules aren't always enforced.. they aren't rules." That is a subconscious type of thought. Hexi and Madison seek to "question" these rules that subconsciously.. they do not accept. However, if I were to produce a set of rules for them that would always be enforced.. subconsciously they should find this new stimuli rather appealing as it adds structure to the frame of subconscious thought. So systems that are highly structured and the rules are strictly enforced.. are appealing but the moment you bend those rules for any reason.. they will subconsciously become disgusted and begin distancing themselves from that activity. Which could perhaps explain why many psychopaths have a hard time holding a job. They become disenchanted by corruption or unfair treatment (as perceived) and then unconsciously.. they quit. As the unconscious demands solid rules and once a violation of said rules occurs.. the conscious will unknowingly act on said subconscious decisions.

And THAT... is where thoughts come from according to science. But as science is still unable to truly explain everything with more precision.. well that leaves room for God and spirituality. If nothing else you are achieving a more peaceful coexistence with yourself that will enable you to have a more relaxed acceptance of death. For science can only explain with logic where as the art of psychological deception cannot be defined with such limitations. Just as the conscious must be straight forward to comprehend, the unconscious must exist through the art of deception.

Example: everything I say and do has multiple meanings. I don't do anything random. Everything is calculated and intentionally done. Nothing is left for chance. My own tendencies are suppressed to play the character I attempt to personify. Your unconscious mind detects my actions and with no knowledge of your own.. you can react unconsciously to my suggestions. Which, in turn, tells me exactly how you unconsciously feel about the stimuli I have presented. In doing so you are unknowingly giving me critical information I need to properly approach you on an unconscious level and provide your unconscious with the proper stimuli to achieve the emotional reaction from you I so desire (in person).

Basically.. I emotionally hack people using their own subconscious/unconscious/whatever against them. My very body gesturing and actions will subconsciously suggest to them my intentions and if I can satisfy their subconscious... their egos quickly follow up.. not even knowing why.. fools. I just seem like a likable guy to the ego or awareness or conscious. Whatever YOU prefer to call yourself but before you even considered liking or disliking me.. unconsciously it was already decided and you had NO SAY in the matter. How you "felt" towards me was your unconscious telling the conscious how to feel.

I personify despair? To know you are not the master? Or do I personify a hint of hope? That you are never alone. The most interesting aspect of it is that without verbal or physical interaction.. a lot of your judgment is based on your conscious mind. But if you were to meet me in person, I could easily disarm your subconscious and "change how you feel about me". Perhaps that explains cult personalities? They unconsciously provide you with the structure and rules you crave? ....I have got to stop lecturing psychological theories. It could go on forever. My bad.

Re: I envy psychopathic lack of emotion

Using subliminal messages to feed the subconscious with stimuli is a very old concept and the effects to the conscious widely accepted. I don't agree with the rules part though. It doesn't matter how enforced the rule is, if i don't personally agree with it or don't see the logic of it, i dismiss it. I might obey the rules to not get punished but in no way does that mean i accept it and thus break it whenever i want and know i can get away with it.

Your example of exchance of the subconscious seems daft. What makes you think it isn't done to you instead? Do you somehow magically control your subconscious to a higher degree than others? For example, i don't come across as a nice guy. Pretty much everyone feels uneasy around me for some reason, a sense of insecurity and danger is what few have described when i asked what was their first impression. I disarm people so they avoid me, how does that work? Maybe it's because i dislike people in general, to quote Carlin that you so much like: "just shut the **** up! i don't CARE about you or your problems!"

Was this the sort of a reply you expected? I tried to oblige :P

Re: I envy psychopathic lack of emotion

Hexi
Using subliminal messages to feed the subconscious with stimuli is a very old concept and the effects to the conscious widely accepted. I don't agree with the rules part though. It doesn't matter how enforced the rule is, if i don't personally agree with it or don't see the logic of it, i dismiss it. I might obey the rules to not get punished but in no way does that mean i accept it and thus break it whenever i want and know i can get away with it.

Your example of exchance of the subconscious seems daft. What makes you think it isn't done to you instead? Do you somehow magically control your subconscious to a higher degree than others? For example, i don't come across as a nice guy. Pretty much everyone feels uneasy around me for some reason, a sense of insecurity and danger is what few have described when i asked what was their first impression. I disarm people so they avoid me, how does that work? Maybe it's because i dislike people in general, to quote Carlin that you so much like: "just shut the **** up! i don't CARE about you or your problems!"

Was this the sort of a reply you expected? I tried to oblige :P


You disagree with yourself not me. You are a psychopath not a normal person. Your aware mind is more dominated by the methods of the unconscious mind rather than the conscious. That is why you do not feel guilt or remorse. That is why you prefer structure and real order over this chaotic existence. You want more.. your unconscious demands it and as you are a creature more adapt to listening to your unconscious mind.. your awareness shares these same attributes ad desires. You are a more natural creature.

Only the conscious mind accepts BS rules and laws. The unconscious has no such limitations/restrictions. The unconscious only obeys real rules. Like the rule that if you fall from a really high place.. chances are you will die. Your unconscious obeys that rule. Where do you think your "survival instincts" are stored?

Your perception is radically different than theirs. Why aren't you considering your mental condition more? Do you have a lot of loud emotions in your head or is there clarity of thought? You have to consider that the average mind can become distorted by emotions and we can trigger these emotions in people and in doing so.. disrupt their ability to focus rationally and react emotionally.

What makes them more human than us? Their emotions! They KNOW they shouldn't do things yet we can use their emotions to make them do these things. You've seen them fall for it time and again. But you try that trick on me.. and I will instantly detect you. I may not say anything but seeing how far you will go with your deception.. is part of my game.

That dream book is more about how the conscious and unconscious mind communicate. Once you learn the foundation.. you can draw your own conclusions.

Thanks for the Carlin quote. People are boring...

Re: I envy psychopathic lack of emotion

I disagreed with your theory. Also i dislike order, people feel safe when there is order. I prefer chaos, chance, the randomness of the universe is what i embrace, not try to categorize and cotrol every aspect of my life or others. Any animal is most interesting when they run out of options and their instincts fail them. It's the same with humans. When they have nothing to rely on or believe in, that's when they become interesting. A rubics cube is a good analogy. You can twist and turn it but untill you smash it apart you will never see the whole, the parts of it's sum. Order is an illusion, something we cling onto to feel better, some even tell themselves there is a grand plan for everyone. Only a delusional idiot thinks anything has any true order or that we are actually in control of anything.

Re: I envy psychopathic lack of emotion

Hexi
I disagreed with your theory. Also i dislike order, people feel safe when there is order. I prefer chaos, chance, the randomness of the universe is what i embrace, not try to categorize and cotrol every aspect of my life or others. Any animal is most interesting when they run out of options and their instincts fail them. It's the same with humans. When they have nothing to rely on or believe in, that's when they become interesting. A rubics cube is a good analogy. You can twist and turn it but untill you smash it apart you will never see the whole, the parts of it's sum. Order is an illusion, something we cling onto to feel better, some even tell themselves there is a grand plan for everyone. Only a delusional idiot thinks anything has any true order or that we are actually in control of anything.


It's funny that you think you have a choice in the matter. As if the thoughts of your ego are relevant or even have any influence over your subconscious. Your thoughts are processed first by your subconscious and then by you. Most of what you do and say is dictated by a superior consciousness without you ever knowing. You are no more than a slave to the will of your subconscious. And yes.. I do enjoy torturing you with this knowledge.

All you've done is confirm the facts. The ego resists and lives in denial while the subconscious lives in a state of order. Order is not control. The subconscious seeks no personal control over others. That is the ego. I've told you this...

Like Dr Robert has told you before.. you don't have free will. Everything you said is common. The ego seeks a more random existence but the subconscious lives in a state of order you have yet to comprehend correctly. Something can have order without it being directly related to control. Order is simply structure.

And it really doesn't matter if you agree or not. What I preach is commonly practiced with or without the consent of Hexi. As it has been for over 20 years.

It's fascinating to watch your ego struggle with this. It's exactly what your ego is programmed to do. Then you admit seeking structure but you yourself don't like structure... yet you admit seeking it for a since of comfort? Or rather you admit that you unconsciously seek structure.

You are right about one thing. You control nothing. Your ego may tell you different but that still means nothing. The aspects of your life are controlled by a superior conscious and unlike you and your silly rebellion.. it has order. It has to have order.. it's responsible for keeping you ALIVE. You can't even hold a job.. more or less regulate your heartbeat or circulatory system.

I'm not asking you to believe me. Read a few books on the matter.. do some research. I enjoy the fact that some of you will in fact do the research and to your horror (why horror I don't know) you'll realize the truth. Reading books is better than internet searches IMO.

Re: I envy psychopathic lack of emotion

I'm shocked you tell others to read books when you can't even comprehend what you read. You sound like toby now, how pathetic.

Re: I envy psychopathic lack of emotion

Let me explain what i meant. Is the subconscious in control of my impulses and behaviour? Yes. Does the conscious mind try to rationalize my impulses? Yes. The point i was trying to make is that even though there is structure and order within the subconscious, the conscious mind tries to control the impulses and understand and this is what i find pointless. Your subconscious dictates thje impulses behind your actions and ensures your survival, to claim otherwise is delusional and trying to bring order into that chaotic combination is not what i try to do, i embrace the conflict and rather than try to fight my impulses, i analyze them to better understand them.

Re: I envy psychopathic lack of emotion

Hexi
Let me explain what i meant. Is the subconscious in control of my impulses and behaviour? Yes. Does the conscious mind try to rationalize my impulses? Yes. The point i was trying to make is that even though there is structure and order within the subconscious, the conscious mind tries to control the impulses and understand and this is what i find pointless. Your subconscious dictates thje impulses behind your actions and ensures your survival, to claim otherwise is delusional and trying to bring order into that chaotic combination is not what i try to do, i embrace the conflict and rather than try to fight my impulses, i analyze them to better understand them.


It's really hard to explain and there are a lot of theories out there. Neuroscience books will flat out tell you that Neuroscience is only interested in the mechanisms of the brain. Studying how the "software" of the brain works is psychology which, after much thought, is probably more of an art than a science. Because it is not as factual as neuroscience.. so naysayers often try to kill the good ideas or rather their egos do.

Your conscious mind can access some of the same memories that the subconscious can but they are two completely different parts of the same brain. The subconscious can send messages to the conscious but the conscious cannot access the subconscious.. yet the subconscious is always aware. The only time you can really receive direct communication from the subconscious is in dreams. Other than that you can only distinguish subconscious thoughts from conscious thoughts through mental training.

I'm excited.. I get to learn all about myself and while others get all sad.. I feel good. There's some part of me that loves me and takes are of me.. it makes you understand that it was never some God or something but it was always a better part of yourself. You can use your spirituality to define the messages of the unconscious if you wish but I rather enjoy knowing the truth.

Re: I envy psychopathic lack of emotion

It's hard to put into words what i mean and i just realized what i wrote sounds confusing. I get your meaning, i really do and i agree with the theory but i look at it a bit differently. Also, when you dream your brain releases DMT, which is the most powerful hallucinogenic known to man so i have my doubts about what dreams really are. If you've never taken any hallucinogenics you won't understand what i mean and that's fine but you should try as it will change your view on things for sure.

Re: I envy psychopathic lack of emotion

Are we going to take LSD and go to the spirit world or something? I don't think so. My power is already fueled by knowledge.

Your dreams are the only time when your unconscious speaks.. indirectly to your conscious. Other than that all suggestions are done without conscious knowledge.

You experienced a powerful emotion in your dream? It was caused by the same part of your brain that regulates your heart and every other aspect of your body, the unconscious.

Hexi, you know a chemical is released into the brain but you don't know why or how? You will never know but do trust that maybe.. just maybe your unconscious is a whole hell of a lot smarter than you and it is the reason for all your feelings, ect.

Now if you wanna say that maybe God is your unconscious.. than I'll accept your spirituality but by the rules of logic.. that voice in your head that always tells you the most reliable course of actions to take... is your unconscious mind.

If you can concede your ego and train yourself to be more aware of it.. it folds all your knowledge. I've not only been using unconscious suggestions on people but now I am aware of unconscious signals I send people and how to prevent them all. How to accurately cloak myself from even the unconscious mind. It goes way beyond normal manipulation. I plant seeds of thought in peoples minds that sprout days later. In doing so I can accurately predict the future of that persons probably mental state and not only that.. but know on an unconscious level the more intricate details of their functioning.

Have you ever damaged a persons subconscious? Consciously they aren't even aware of the emotional stress you are flooding them with. Days later the unconscious floods over into their conscious sending waves of emotional distress at them. But then you switch your subconscious suggestions to all positive and friendly. It also works to fix them as well. So you can fix their future moods.. I like it.

Tell me a relatively short story. Make it something powered by your imagination. Anyone. tell me a story or a reoccurring dream. I want to train.

Re: I envy psychopathic lack of emotion

I wouldn't call it the spirit world, unless you suggest that when you dream you also go to a spirit world. Also, only take organics, like shrooms, and none of that manufactured stuff. DMT is maded by a chemical mixture. Why? one can only guess, perhaps our brain is trying to expand it's understanding of the universe it's in. Since it's done while the unconscious is in control, maybe taking hallucinogenics is something good for you? Afterall, it's what the brain does on it's own.

A recurring dream? Post-apocalypse is a recurring theme. It's not a science fiction kind, mind you, just the kind where the world of humans has gone wrong.

Re: I envy psychopathic lack of emotion

Hexi
I wouldn't call it the spirit world, unless you suggest that when you dream you also go to a spirit world. Also, only take organics, like shrooms, and none of that manufactured stuff. DMT is maded by a chemical mixture. Why? one can only guess, perhaps our brain is trying to expand it's understanding of the universe..



Spare me your ego or rather spare me these conscious lies you tell yourself as I have no interest in self illusion.

Lets stop calling it the unconscious and call it the "super conscious" instead. That way you'll see "super" in front and instantly think "superior" and better grasp what I am saying. Also your ego will be enraged by this demotion in status... which is impossible for you and simple for me. How interesting...

The super conscious does not sleep. If it did you would stop breathing and die.

The super conscious does not ask questions as its mental capacity is far beyond asking. It simply knows best because it is far superior to the distroted and often dysfunctional conscious mind it attempts to maintain.

The super conscious programs thoughts into the conscious mind. Don't worry. Chances are you aren't listening to it at all. Which is why your life is crap.

We thought it was an inner child but really it was the adult mind in us and we are the children. You've always been aware of it yet you have never known what it was. So you made up stupid fairy tales t o try to explain it. Each of you have a fairy tale story to explain it but really they are all lies the ego tells itself because the ego CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH.

Tom Cruise would be proud. Which to me means.. absolutely nothing!

Oh and Dragontongue.. I didn't read your post. LOL It's the simple things that get me in life.

Re: I envy psychopathic lack of emotion

Keep trying wolfie, you'll get there eventually. Or not, oh well.

Re: I envy psychopathic lack of emotion

Hexi
Keep trying wolfie, you'll get there eventually. Or not, oh well.


Nice defensive stance. It'll serve you well on your way to oblivion.


http://www.nytimes.com/books/first/l/lakoff-philosophy.html

Re: I envy psychopathic lack of emotion

Whitewolf


Nice defensive stance. It'll serve you well on your way to oblivion.


I don't need to defend myself from such elementary bull****. Get some new material and put some effort into it. Do you actually think you're clever?

Re: I envy psychopathic lack of emotion

Hexi
Whitewolf


Nice defensive stance. It'll serve you well on your way to oblivion.


I don't need to defend myself from such elementary bull****. Get some new material and put some effort into it. Do you actually think you're clever?


I think Dr. Robert Lang MD is clever. I think him and a lot of like minded research doctors know at least how to give me structure of thought.

See I don't just jump into crap like you do. I refine my knowledge through education if I want to know more about something. Grab a few books and find the ones that are more appealing and read them first. Then read the others I found less appealing to see what aspects they can add... even though my ego does not like it.

Everything is just math. You learn a formula as a way of thinking. So everything in life has a formula from which you can decode truths.

I read books of learning to expand my knowledge. So when I have opinions or theories.. much of my theories are based off of supported evidence. I keep my books of knowledge as well. That way I have reference points. I am well educated and my ways of thinking reflect the structures I have learned.

I structured thought and my structured thought is reliable. My ego often collides with it but I have learned ways around the uglier parts of me.

Like when Dr Robert mentioned our egos colliding and how ugly that is. He didn't really say it was us but more an aspect of us that was acting bad. So in doing that he separates us as a whole from our ego driven actions.

oops lol

Re: I envy psychopathic lack of emotion

See, you're the hero of the movie. The champion of all that is good and just. I'm the short guy with a hood up, smoking a cig and having a sword on my shoulder, snorting at you because your greatness is meaningless to me, it has no value whatsoever in my view. You bash in your glory, i move on to the next thing that interests me enough to put effort into, a drifter. Almost all your obsrvations and analyzes have been wrong as you seem to assume i want to be like you, i really, really don't.

Re: I envy psychopathic lack of emotion

Hexi
See, you're the hero of the movie. The champion of all that is good and just. I'm the short guy with a hood up, smoking a cig and having a sword on my shoulder, snorting at you because your greatness is meaningless to me, it has no value whatsoever in my view. You bash in your glory, i move on to the next thing that interests me enough to put effort into, a drifter. Almost all your obsrvations and analyzes have been wrong as you seem to assume i want to be like you, i really, really don't.


You always go back to thinking someone is trying to "project their thoughts" on you. There is some trigger in your head that always causes you to rebel... It's easier to run.

Anyway you express yourself just fine and really.. only you are backing yourself into the corner. Or do you not remember saying "I'm the short guy with a hood up, smoking a cig". Converted into real thought you said.. "I'm not as big and strong as you but I'm interesting and special in my own way." I agree. I don't want you to be me either..

You judge them just as bad as they judge you. Why don't you just get over it and be better than them already?

Also you have that rebelling child syndrome still. Every time someone of certain stature attempts to influence you.. you assume the defensive position (as you are mentally trained to react to the stimuli) and run away.

I made an AMV to express myself after I got divorced. I spent so much time on this videos concept that the actual video I released was really just the beta version. If you had seen the anime it was spawned after and then watched the video.. you could see the double and triple meanings of many things I added. My point is.. maybe you should express yourself more.. regardless of how defensive you are. If you express yourself more artistically.. people may warm up to you. Cause really they just don't understand. I mean think about it.. Narcs outnuber us 100/1 and they are out there right now actively preying on people every day. Psychopaths prefer to be alone and seldom prey on anyone they don't have to. Are you a real threat? No, you are just a victim of a label.

http://www.animemusicvideos.org/members/members_videoinfo.php?v=27125

Re: I envy psychopathic lack of emotion

haha, i said that because at that time, i did have my hoodie on with the hood up and a cig in my mouth as i was about to go out for a smoke. I didn't actually think much of the metaphor, the last part was more important. You analyze what i write too much at times, other times you miss the point on purpose and use the toby tactic to try and annoy me, it's amusing. :)

It's easy to just move on and ignore people as i don't form attachments to anything, that's not running away. I spend time doing something as long as it interests me and then i move on. It suits me fine and i'm not gonna defend it.

I don't seek the approval of others to validate my existence. Like i said, it's meaningless to me.

Re: I envy psychopathic lack of emotion

Hexi
It's easy to just move on and ignore people as i don't form attachments to anything, that's not running away. I spend time doing something as long as it interests me and then i move on. It suits me fine and i'm not gonna defend it.

I don't seek the approval of others to validate my existence. Like i said, it's meaningless to me.


Ha! That sounds so much like me. Can't form attachments to anything. Going through life like a wheel...But still, I don't seek validation from anyone either. I couldn't care less...

Re: I envy psychopathic lack of emotion

Neither of you possess the mental capacity to find your purpose in life. Your life is meaningless as you will never have the capacity to define it. Trapped b y your own ignorant and blind egos you are ****ed to suffer till the end of time.

Live with the knowledge that there are those among you who are superior to you, who rose where you have fallen, and who will never see you as anything more than you are.. wasted potential destroyed by ego.

Ka cha!!

Re: I envy psychopathic lack of emotion

I will, live that is, without the validation of others. Shame you will never accomplish that as you cannot function without others feeding your vanity, quite ironic.

Re: I envy psychopathic lack of emotion

I am.. compelled to pursue you, Hexi.

I'm sorry I keep backing you into the corner. I just have this drive to.. hunt you. For some reason I am seeing you as weak and inferior. It makes me feel compelled to have aggression towards you. I don't know if it's an attempt to help you or an attempt to just hunt you because I see you as weak. But for whatever reason I acknowledge it's my fault we have been having these conflicting conversation.

But I will not deny my desires even though I logically understand them. I am compelled to inflict certain pains on you. As if to punish you for being weak and acting out of line.

I really believe I can fix you through physical violence. i wouldn't employ that method against them but against you.. it would be fun to break your ego. Nothing like hurting someone in order to help them. It's all love though. No anger like you.. no dwelling on dark thoughts and being stuck in the void. I left that behind. Enjoy!

Re: I envy psychopathic lack of emotion

Whitewolf
Oh and Dragontongue.. I didn't read your post. LOL It's the simple things that get me in life.

Really? Oh, goodie! And here I was a bit ticked at myself for telling you a dumb dream like that just because I was bored. ^^ Life is good to me sometimes!

Re: I envy psychopathic lack of emotion

Whitewolf
Tell me a relatively short story. Make it something powered by your imagination. Anyone. tell me a story or a reoccurring dream. I want to train.

Cool! I'm up for that. How's this?

I dreamed that I was in my mother's room, walking past that tall, wall-mounted mirror she has next to the closet. Something in the mirror caught my eye, and I turned to look. The first thing I saw was my reflection. It didn't look like me. This girl was so beautiful! I couldn't even look at her face at first. She wore my clothes with a style I could never manage. Her hair was so dark and pretty... all soft black waves and curls... and then I saw her eyes. They were red. I was... entranced, I suppose you could say. I couldn't move or look away. I didn't want to. And when I realized that, she smiled. It was not a particularly nice smile, but it was beautiful all the same. And as she smiled--so slowly--I felt myself changing. I felt myself straightening up, standing more confidently. I felt my hair becoming longer, heavier. I felt her smile growing on my face. I felt myself--the person I had been--dying. And I felt powerful. Strong, beautiful, confident, triumphant. I laughed softly with my reflection in the mirror--and woke.

Re: I envy psychopatic lack of emotion

Ok, just wanna say, yes it feels pathetic trying to control people around you... But it's just for one of a few reasons: 1. A rush 2. Being bored 3. Anger 4. Other reasons I don't remember...

Which I don't know why I have so much anger, or jealousy...I think the jealousy is not because I give a **** about another person, but it's something inside of me.

I feel like I can't be happy BECAUSE OF others. I feel like I can only be happy in isolation. Just me. I seriously dislike people... Somebody might say I am disrespectful but I can't even see it... It's like I don't even know what they're talking about. I couldn't care less about people's approval. That's got me in a bit of trouble throughout my life.

It's like they see things I can't see... Or maybe I see beyond what they see. It's strange. I react differently to things.