I have been dating this guy for about 4 months. I realized early on that he is a pathological liar. He lied about having gray hair, his age, where he lives and so on.
I really enjoy his company but wanted to know how far his lies go. I investigated him and found a law suit against him that was dropped. I looked up the case anyway and it was between him and an ex-girlfriend who he was engaged to. He asked me to marry him and said he never asked anyone to marry him before.
I called the ex-girlfriend and she is the one that told me he was a sociopath. I had to look it up to find out what that meant. The profile fit him. I was shocked. Do I break up with him because of the potential danger or do i just have my guard up. If that is possible.
Lately, I've wanted to contact his Step Mother and introduce myself to her to ask her about him.
What should I do.
Well that depends. Do you want be the abused in an abusive relationship? Some women are like that, so i have to ask. Also, if your plan is to "man upto him" let me warn you. If he really is a sociopath he will make your life miserable in ways you can't even imagine or just murder you. Another thing, never ever present an ultimatum, you will regret it. Ofcourse i'm talking with the assumption that he is indeed sociopath and not just your average ******* who got laughed at by women in highschool and turned out to be a pathetic, petty and sad little waste of space who is afraid of women so he must be in control and makebelieve that he's something he is not.
Good post, Hexi. Bravo.
Nah wolfie, i didn't mean a narc. Everyone that's not nice and kind is considered a narc or a sociopath these days. People are selfish *******s, you don't need a personality disorder for that.
Oh I agree that there are a great deal of parents of failed. Society, in the US, has definatly shown that a parent who neglects their child.. creates a monster. Look at the sons of judges and lawyers. These people who dedicate themselves to their jobs.. psychologically ruin their kids.. for life. Judges who judge others.. have kids in Charter (mental) hospitals where appearences are kept up for their image. God knows exposing people to how truely ****ed up things were would surely shatter the appearences they so desperately try to keep up.
I'll just tell you this, and hope you trust knowledge. Liars.. don't just lie. Someone.. who lies a lot in the very begining.. is hiding a great deal of person things from you. Things you should know before allowing them around you.
Trust that some rules, even though they are also written in the Bible, are good rules, even though you hate learning from mythology (at least Christian), and that a Liar.. who is a genuine liar, and not someone who simply made a poor choice.. is aperson hiding a great deal of ugly truths about them.
Chances are.. a liar is a selfcentered rat. A liar who lies constantly will, more than likely, also steal money and possesions from you out of habbit. Because a true liar, as I have seen, is a cleptomaniac in every forum.
People who lie to impress one another are a different story. For example.. if a liar knows they are going to meet you.. they aren't going to lie about the color of their hair. They know you will see them. But a short sighted clepto.. will tell you incredibly retarded crap in an attempt to trick you into trusting them..
You don't give me enough credit, Hexi. I know you aren't discrediting me as well but really, over time and experience with these different personality types, you learn the slight differences between different types of personalities. I could be completely wrong. I'm working off of assumed knowledge told to me by someone influenced by their emotions. So everything is hypothetical. From the knowledge I have been able to obtain.. I just get the feeling he's not trustworthy.
I myself am a compulsive liar BUT i'm so good at it that you would NEVER know where truth ends and fabrication begins. When i lie, and i lie alot, i rules about it. First, never make something up that someone else can verify is a lie, unless the person that knows the truth is untrustworthy aswell. Second, never make a perfect story with every detail, very few have a perfect memory of events. Third, don't practice "a speech" but instead make it up as you go, while keeping the rules in mind. No one belives you when you answer questions that haven't been asked. Fourth, never lie when the truth is more suitable for your needs. Mind you, i've been truthful while posting here. (see what i did there? a perfect indication of a lie.)
I don't have a need to steal, but i find it fun to cheat, deceive and steal from people. I don't really need anything from anyone, it's just stimulation. Now that i think about it, i've been doing this since i was 6 or so. Strangely enough, i never cheat in games or sports because it devalues the fun and makes winning meaningless. You don't exhibit superior skill in anything else than cheating.
I haven't been caught in a lie for a decade i think, not since my teens. Stealing... i don't remember being caught apart from once. In total i've prollie stolen/cheated 100k euro worth of things/cash in my time. Mostly from the government. Maybe i'm just pulling this out of my hat, you would never know nor suspect unless i explicitly mention it.
The truth however is that i am the kind of evil, manipulative, selfish and violent person that describes my personality disorder, or have been. I'm now 25 and for the past few years i've somehow started to more easily keep the impulses in check, maybe it's because i've isolated myself from real people for the most part so the temptation to just **** someones life up isn't there. Maybe i just got bored.
PS. Wow, that became a long post. Oh and i don't reject the notion that the dude in question is indeed a narc, i just personally can't tell from such subjective information.
You're not describing anything to me. You're just explaining your logic. ****.. that wont make sense in English.. hmm
What you appear to be doing is simply enhancing the truth. You choose your lies carefully.. that is just part of the art of Deception. (Yes, I did capitalize it.)
You can't really tell people the truth when the truth is too much for their simple minds. Highly emotional people do crazy crap.. without thinking. At least I know I could die before doing insane things. It's not a surprise or really a concern because chances are.. I'll triumph in the end. I don't really need to win but I naturally rise to the challenge.
I believe your lack of loyalty and such is just a product of your enviornment. Just as my extreme loyalty is a programed trait of my enviornment. You are not evil.. you just have different methods for which you survive. Sheep eat grass, wolves eat sheep.. you cannot ask a wolf to eat grass. The wolf will die. Why? because the wolf was not born to eat grass. The wolf was born to hunt.
What is a lie? Honestly, you live in such a distorted world that suck divisions have long since turned to gray. There is no black and white.. there is no right and wrong. Everything is subject to interputation. What a Christian thinks is good could be a grave sin to a Muslim.
So don't dictate to me what a lie is or what the truth is. If you cannot prove a lie is a lie.. than it is not a lie. For instance.. prove to me the US didn't go to the Moon. PROVE IT. Many people believe it but you can't prove something like that.
Exagerating the truth has always been a human tradition.. look at Greek Mythology and the Bible. Do you really think Jesus sat in some desert for 40 days.. no human on Earth could do that.. so trust me.. that was an exageration.. made to make Jesus look all the more better.
It's human nature to enhance the truth as a natural response to social enviornments. People want to tell eachother fun stories. So they enhance the story is some mild manner (usually) that doesn't truely alter the facts but enhances the story.
The entire history of man.. is telling eachother exagerated stories to bring out emotions in others. We've been doing it since the begining of human time.
You've lived on this planet for how long and you don't comprehend this? Honesty and the truth are not synonymous. History is more of a lie than you may realize. "The history is always written by the victor."
He doesn't lie about major things such as haircolor and what not. He lies about small things.. probably insignificant.
I lie all the time. You don't actually think I go around hurting people do you? No, it's the persona people want and fear. I'm actually a saint. I swears its!!
Website: Maxforum whitewolf
I do lie, blatantly but i don't lie about stupid things that can easily be verified to be lies, like i said. I also don't need to justify my actions to myself or make excuses. I am what you could call a ******* but you know what? I'm ok with it as i simply don't feel bad about it. These are the things i've come to realise about myself. I aknowledge i've done things that others cosider bad or criminal but it doesn't affect me at all. LOL this sounds like those "look at me, i'm a sociopath" crys for attention. I hope you that have seen my writings here realise that this is not the case.I simply want to point out that "enhancing the truth" is not what i tell myself to feel better about my actions.