well, i may never quite have the relationship i want without good sex.. but nobody ever has quite the relationship they want.. even if there is good sex.. and like i've said the only thing about this relationship that is lacking is the size, the sex isn't really even that bad, everything else is perfect, by my standards, so since i'm not too crazy about sex anyway, we'll be alright. and i'm infertile and cannot have children.
I wonder.. for how long do you think you will feel this way? Human nature can distort your ability to reason in such a manner. I've witnessed the emotional implosion of others who try to supress urges that are new to them.
Really... we're all just animals. Who's your animal spirit? Because as you grow you will change but as long as you are true to yourself and who you are inside... it all works out.
In zen we just say that time will tell but I'm not a gambler. How young are you? Family history... who are you more like? What are they like? Much of your personality is just preprogrammed genetic coding. To better understand those like yourself helps you get around your ego and know thy self.
Do you feel an emotional weakness because you are incapable of children? What if he ends up wanting kids? As a male.. I wanted a kid. A woman who could not give me a family would be nothing more than a wonderful relationship to be had but in no way would I be with her alone. I must eventually have kids... I'm a guy. I want someone born of my blood to raise and make in my image. Much like people do with God. Mother is the name of God in the hearts and on the lips of children. You will never know that love... until a medical breakthrough next month or some seregent mother?
Interesting. You have the arrogance to demand the perfect man, someone who will love you unconditionally and offer you great sex? What do you have that's so great about you? Apart from your desires for immediate sexual gratification, do you have anything you can offer anybody?
To these men you are merely an instrument for masturbation. Unless you are educated, unless you have talents, unless you have wealth, you are nothing to anybody. You can't even bring forth a life, which is what so many strive for. To many, having a child is some sort of achievement and you can't do that.
I only hope for your case you have something more worthwhile going on then just mindless sex.
I also hope you're using some form of contraception.
The realationship you're in is destined for failure. For one, penis size matters to you and in a few years children will matter to him. Can you see yourself living with this man until you're 80? Probably not.