I have this 'reading problem’ which started when I was 17 year old (11 years ago).This ‘reading problem’ started after I suffered a strong psychological shock/ panic attack thinking I have developed 'stress'. Back then, I assumed 'stress' to be serious/debilitating problem which couldn’t be treated unless you see a psychologist. And that was a very scare thing meaning I have developed a serious problem. I was very much shocked that I couldn’t keep myself calm. I started to think and act in a desperate manner. I developed symptoms like, a faster speech and reading speed, whole body shaking, and difficulty performing simple mathematical operations, difficulty pronouncing and spelling some words as well as muscular pain in my calf. Shortly, all the symptoms I mentioned diminished except for the reading problem, muscular pain and speech difficulty which is noticeable when I speak loudly or angrily. I find it hard to explain exactly what happens to me with this ‘reading problem’. When I read, I feel being forced unwillingly to proceed to the next word before I properly read the previous word. I feel lack of coordination between my eyes and mouth or that I am not giving a particular word the time it needs to be read properly. I don’t have the feeling/urge to stop or take a break for the punctuations marks like normal readers do. My heart beat also increases while my breathing rhythm changes. If I try to control things and read smoothly, I start to have muscular tension and pain in my calf. The more I try to fix my reading the harder gets the pain. I also experience similar pain as I try to concentrate and think harder on mathematical problems. It is beyond my control and it has exhausted me out. Reading/studying has become very frustrating, exhausting and painful exprience.
I am very much exhausted with my problems and desperately need your words. I am grateful for your time and advices.