I'll try to go to the point to make this shorter. Here's the deal.
Today I kind of admitted something to myself: I feel no emotions and I don't feel anything for others people's emotions either. I don't seem to care about other people misfortunes even If I cause them, and for some reason I pretend that I do. Maybe I feel that’s the way it should be, or that’s how I would fit in the world.
I am not driven by empathy or by emotions like other people are. Other people seem to "not do what they don't want others to do to them". Yet I don't really feel anything (not to noticeable level at least), so I would have no problem doing some bad, inappropriate or heartless things.
I instead have some sort of way of behaving, like a moral code. When I meet someone I feel this "comrade" connection, I will help the person and get along. For connections that last, I will comfort them and try to help them emotionally too. For females I feel all of those plus a protection bond.
But if those people died or something bad happened I wouldn't care. I already don't care about anything that happens to anyone. I don't feel "love" or any emotions that people describe as powerful...
I've never felt them so I don't know how it is like. I can't empathize with people, I just pretend I do and I try to help them. I have already mastered the "I care, I feel you" lie.
I have hurt people in the past...specially girlfriends. To them I have done things that when I tell someone they can't help but to be astonished by my heartlessness. I also seem to have a reciprocate thing with depressed girls (I seem to have this thing as some sort of mom complex)...so the damage is amplified. I've never cared for them. I break up with no remorse and I don't even miss them or feel bad/sorry.
The funny thing Is that I had always knew that I felt no emotions, but I denied it to myself. I still said "I love you", and things like that. It can be considered as a lie, but I also always thought "No I don't, but I wish I did". I also wish I could get excited with cool movies and stuff like everyone else...
I also wish I could bring happiness to someone, specifically having a wife and kids (I’m 19) and making a happy family. I also think that I wouldn't be able to emotionally appreciate this but it would still satisfy me...
But It's all toughs...not feelings...I don't think I've ever felt anything, unless people exaggerate the existence of emotions by a huge factor and I am just honest.
So...could I be a psychopath with some sort of aspirations of being good?
I think It Is logical to be good.
Or could it just be that my emotions are deep buried and I don't notice them?
If I am a psychopath or have psychopathic tendencies…what should I do? Still get married and all trying not to harm my wife and kids? I wouldn’t kill or physically harm anyone unless it’s for protection (no remorse or guilt after I’ve done it) but I would still be in risk of emotionally harming them and I don’t know how my kids would turn out to be…or if it’s even hereditary…
I am not sure if it’s good or not…you don’t get hurt and yet you can’t enjoy some things and could harm people…
PD. The only problem I’ve had with socializing is my insecurity. I seem to be getting over it quickly as puberty ends and as I start to “do whatever I want”. Can you still be a psychopath if you have been insecure?
Does it matter if you are? Why DO you want wife/kids and what do you care how they turn out to be? What does good or evil have to do with anything? I don't mean to **** all over your questions, i just want to ask straightforward questions and expect honest answers. Think upon the questions and i can try to make you understand yourself better.
I agree with the part where you breeding is a terrible mistake. However, I also believe you should maintain that perspective regardless of future endevors or revalations.
I'm about 55% sure that my psychological trauma cause as a child caused me to go emotionally numb. Which means I get medical bud. Yay me. But anyway... as a person who has trained for years to activate dormant feelings.. I can comprehend your desire to find a wife and marry. Because that is exactly what I did. I thought that was what I was supposed to do but thats not true. Everyone is different yet primed to certain genetic couping techniques/behaviors. (IMO)
Right now you are saying you think more logically than emotionally. More of an objective look at the world around you?
Have you ever felt sad? Fustrated that you can't find purpose perhaps? Trying to select from the generic choices society offers is often unappealing and if you accept them as inevidable.. depressing.
What do you do for fun? What makes you feel alive and peacefully content? How do you escape? I want you to look at someone you love. Could you kill them for no reason? If you just felt angry because of something else and you killed them... knowing in your own head what you did was wrong in every way logical and emotional... would you not remorse your actions?
To kill an innocent person in cold blood for no other reason than misguided emotional rage and not remorse... thats evil. To kill without reason isn't logical either. So thats not a psychopath.
Btw I figured our why people fear psychopaths. You know how cleptos steal? Well they think psychopaths have the same tendancy towards murder. Like you just sometimes get the urge to kill and underworld a village of people or something.
Not to use a Scitzo analogy but I feel like James Kirk and Hexi is Spock. This is my 33rd attempt to solicits an emotional response from him.
Hexi, is it possible for me to physically torture you into having an emotional reaction? Say I chemically burned you. Wouldthe pain make you cry? Would you continue crying tears of grief? Would you "let it all out"? Do you find the techniques used in Fight Club to help people appriciate their lives had a valid place in society in any manner?
Yes, if I really am a psychopath I don't think i should breed. I also come for a family with mental illness..
Yes, my view of the world is pretty much objective.
I am not sure if i have felt sadness...however there have indeed been times where i would want to do things other that what society offers like you said. Not exactly harming other people, but exploring other places and such.
I don't think i would kill anyone. Specially loved ones...unless it's for protection, there is something that just would not let me. I am not certain whether i would feel remorse tough. I have some things that made me guess that I would feel remorse but I didn't.
I haven't done anything like killing or physical harm on purpose tho.
To scape i go to the gym, use the computer and specially just walk or go to places for nothing. Get out of the hose and go wherever i please.
i also find relief to tiredness on affection. This is contradictory since i can get this even if i don't feel a genuine "love" for the person. Or maybe i do and i can't tell. But with affection i get the idea and even feel a bit like i am protecting and making someone happy, even if i don't feel happy or protected myself.
This is kind of weird, since i kind of crave giving affection.
I think you would have to get creative with torture. It's been a fascination of mine since my early teens, torture i mean. I'm well aware how it works. Allthough... i would tell you, or anyone for that matter, anything they want to know, without torture. I have 0 loyalty to anything. Why do you want an emotional response from me, wolfie? :(
Anyways, Aperson, i don't know if you're a psychopath or not. If you really want to know, go see a psychologist. There are many reasons for emotional numbness but you seeking the approval of others seems alien to me atleast. I don't give a **** if people love me, hate me or something in between.
I don't have a credit/debit card. It's probably the only thing my mother taught that stuck. If you don't have the money to buy something, then don't. Besides, i rarely pay rents/bills on time, even if i have the money, i just can't be bothered to so imagine what would happen when i missed the credit card bills? :P Besides, you would have to threaten me with torture first, and i would have the perceive the threat as being real.
No wolfie. I would have no trouble doublecrossing my family, country, friends or whatever. I'm only loyal to myself and my own wellbeing. If someone invaded Finland and i got captured, i would offer to join them in a heartbeat and tell them everything i know that they want to know.
EDIT: I've watched some real torture videos. It's quite fascinating to be honest. If only people would condition themselves to understand that pain is an abstract and with the right conditioning, you can shut it off.
Wolfie, you should (if you already haven't) watch the Hellsing anime, specifically the new OVA's. I believe there are 8 episodes thus far. The character Alucard is the psychopath that i identify with most, when it comes to fictional characters. I simply "love" the anime and the characters in it. It's also made VERY well, you really should see it if you haven't. No, i don't think i'm a vampire with crazy powers but the way the character reacts and acts is just so... familiar. It's also a great way for those interested to understand me :D
Dead bodies don't really interest me. They're dead...
Hexi, no loyalty. Why you so worried about dying that you would betray? I'd rather die fighting than give an inch to anyone but thats my mentality... indomitable spirit. You'd concede to others? So you have no ego?
Btw I could make you percieve me as a real threat to your existance in a torture scenario. If indeed you are simply logical than stimulation used to invoke fear in animals should also bring about your own sense of mortality as you breach thresholds of pain. I honestly don't think you can resist true pain as well as you imagine. I believe that to be a fallacy created by your ego.
But I don't have a taste for torture. I understand it's purpose and varying degrees of affectiveness. I'm more logical. Kill them or don't. No need in making them into calateral damage unless it gives you a tactical advantage to have injured. After all you fully admit you'd just give me any information I wanted. Hell you'd give mr technical assistance for recon. I'd never trust you. Probably just shoot you when it was all said and your service was no longer required. It's the logical choice is it not? I could never trust you. So what value would there be in allowing your further existance? You'd just betray me as well.
Your lack of loyalty is a logical fallacy. He believes in nothing is nothing. Don't be that guy.
I should have said that you can turn out pain to a degree and disconnect yourself from it, i worded it poorly. Anyways, yes you should just kill me because i would betray you later BUT a large majority of people would take the chance out of greed or whatever. You also misuderstood me. I would also fight to the end BUT if i was defeated, yet not killed, i would surrender but only after i would know defeat would be inevitable. I myself would never take prisoners either but again, i'm not most people. Even if someone would surrender, i would most likely kill them anyways because i wouldn't trust them either.
Lol my thread turned into some sadomasochist fetish discussion |:
Anyways, about the psychopathy, I recently entered a one sided mirror chamber for a psychology interview.
I was the only one who had no problem talking, and i remember saying that i had no empathy. I was kind of weirded out because i hadn't noticed this myself.
I told the friend who invited me to the interview about it and she was already specting it. Like I thought, everyone noticed that declaration I did.
She said she didn't have enough psychology knowledge to tell me anything yet, but that everyone is different. As long as i can tell right from wrong and keep up with society and friendships...
But that i still needed to go to counseling to prevent me from further damaging more girlfriends.
The weird part is that i tought i would feel weird about all this, but i don't really care.
Otherwise, "just enjoy".
Anyways you have some interesting conversation right thar lol.
Tho i have 0 interest on torture or pain, so i can;t really give an opinion about it lol.
Wolf, what is it with your insistance that everyone thinks and acts the same as you?
Your mentality seems to be that you are right in your thinking and everyone else is wrong.
He wouldn't every much like to die, what's wrong with that?
All I meant was throughout our entire interactions, you havn't once seemed to of considered anyone elses opinion or viewpoint, you seem to stuck in your ways.
For the record it was anime vore and gore. The concept of a real person experiencing that crap is completely different. I often would rather see anime than real people as I have an associative difference. When I watch real porn... I just think they're all drug addicts or something. Totally ruins the perversion part. Then I end up laughing at how she fakes it and how her **** are so fake. It becomes comedy. :-( Thank Japan for proper perversion. LOL
Sorry i didnt meant to quote my own answer lol
Ya i've seen anime like that.
I never liked it :
Wow can barely believe there are real live versions of that...
But yeah i guess the bad acting would ruin the perversion of it..
Why do "Am I a psychopath?" topics always get a lot of attention? It's old and uninteresting(even from the start).
Well i've tried to cut back on responding to threads since Dr Robert asked us to but it seems no one bothers to reply to threads anyways. He asked for an opinion and i gave it. I agree thought that discussing psychopathy is quite boring but it's the most common thread that pops up. Should we just ignore them?
Oh and toby, you are wrong about wolfie not taking others views into consideration. Maybe just not yours? :P
While I have no doubt Toby knows things I don't and it is possible to learn from him... quite frankly I hate him. He's everything I despise in people. Well not all but a living example of what I percieve as a mentally inferior human. His lack of imagination and creativity... he is so limited in thought.. he can't even figureout simple diagrams of rubix cubes or how to fold a box.
I believe people with originality, creativity and dreams about stuff and ideas or better ways to do things... interesting people are just cool. They will explore theories with you and they truely seek to feel good. They don't want to talk about eachother all the time. They have passion and fire. They have drive and desire. I can feed off their energy and they mine. People who create synergy. People who are more than the sum of their parts.
Real people with real individuality. People who seek their own truths and dont just accept what others tell them to be the limits of their reason.
I hate small minds.
Psychopathic... ...small minded... ...chronic masturbater, there's something wrong with all of us, it really doesn't matter. But h ell, let's talk about it anyway.
I'm not small minded! Jeez....
No one can call on anyone elses perceived problems, everyone has their own, including Wolf.
Judge not lest ye be judged. :D
/snoby British voice.
"It's a rule. I just made it up."
You can't dictate anything to me. I am more logical than you. You believe in stupid fairtales. You pay a high tax so some old woman of no significants can play with herself in the bathtub with her (I kid you not) Royal Rubber Ducky...
You can't even say the word c-unt in public. I can. I have freedom of speech. In no way will I let a church tell me how to think because I have freedom of religion. I do not have a supreme ruler like England or Iran. My leaders are elected and then expire. So any tyrant they can cause is limited. It's preventive maintence the US did.
Perhaps you are confused. I stand for many things that you disagree with but I stand with 300 million. We prefer our ways of life over your singular way of life. I say "ways" because in my country it is to each their own and we know that because we are exposed to it. Perhaps in England you lack the cultural diversity, freedom of religion... meaning no church rule can supress my individuality of faith, freedom of speech... actually be allowed to say what you think, and other freedoms I take for granted at times.
Yet when I see Toby.. I am almost humbled by how tragic an impact his cultivated raising has had. To lose so much inner self. To accept irational reasoning as reality... To just submit to the will of others... to acknowledge dome old lady as socially superior to me just because she was born in a certain family?! Hell no! I'm Ameri-CAN. My bloodline killed your bloodline. They hated you. Wanted you and your stupid ideas to **** off. Cause in America we'll be ****ed before we let that Queen B-itch tell us how to live.
Oh and Toby.. I do know you. See this forum? This is where your personality interacts with mine. We are all the same here. No fancy cars or nice houses to segregate us from one another. Nope it's just you and me and I'm talking to... who you are not what you look like or own. I am judging you on your personality. The purest form of judgement logic can provide and... I don't like you.
I could spend all day arguing how I stand with over 2 Billion, and how British people are better, but I can't be bothered, it's really like arguing with a child.
I only talk to you for the sake of amusing others. Like it or not.. you sound stupid to an American. Often I make you display this to the point that lurkers, who would never in a million years post, end up posting just to try and desperately plead to you how ignorant you are and how it drives them crazy.
And yes, I do know I am more logical than you. Perhaps 20 years ago I was an emotional child but that was a long time ago. I've experienced so much that I just can't get truely upset over the little things. You may think I'm being insensetive but really I'm just desynsetized. It comes with experience.
Toby is either doing one of two things.
A) Having an emotional reaction that reinforces my statement or
B) baiting me with his ignorance.
Either way his pointless ignorance offends me. He argues for the sake of socializing. Just like all the other small minds. I don't care that I could profit socially from our interactions. You annoy me. No, I'm not emotionally upset and even when I do get aggrivated... it's short lived as I lack the capacity to sustain emotions for any period of time. Thats why in the middle of a fight with my ex I would always bustout laughing. I'd be angry at her, emotionally fueled but for some reason, in the middle of an intense arguement... I just lost it. I wasn't angry anymore but she was. And everytime I just suddenly stopped being mad... it mad her furious.
Thats where we are. You act the fool trying to upset me, I laugh and mock you, you get boring, I love interest... now I want a divorce.
I don't care how popular you are or whatever fancy things you have. You are socially inferior.. or rather incompatible with me. Whichever your ego can better grasp. Prat off.
Well I'd love to stay and chat but you're a total female member of the canine family.
I'll just ignore you now.
im DOESNT like all them FIGHTING on the forum maybe does SETTLES it with you both IS good and SMART and special and apologizes to BOTH. im IS THINKING that you be very smart person whitewolf and toby you be too and you does be special in OWN WAY.
Aperson im DOESNT thinking you is SOCIOPATH maybe because sociopaths dosent exists but also because im DOES thinking you doesnt talks very much like one. DOES you be confident person? im DOES thinking you is yourself and nothing else you DOSENT needs name for how you DOES acting.
You is you and that how you should decides what you SHOULD or NOT SHOULD do. im does THINKING that if you does DECIDE that you doesnt wants to tries serious RELATIONSHIP then you maybe DOES misses much when you COULD maybe even be CURED by be in RELATIONSHIP and find yours inner piece. it like saying im DOSENT likes snowboarding because i COULD be bad in it without try it.
Talking to you, it's like on big giant hug. :)
I gave you that Rubiks cube as I'd figured it out and wanted to see if you could get it.