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Is it possible to be a heartless Buddha?

Dr. Robert:

I wanted to commend you on your article about enlightenment. It was very well written. I agree with everything you have said. I practiced Zen Buddhism and dabbled with Dzogchen for a while. I had a moment of what they call “satori” during this period. It was literally quite “enlightening”.

And yet…

There is little ole me. I get it, I really do. There is no “I”. To hold to the little “I” is indeed to contract in the face of the totality of life. Drama begins precisely at the point the “I” seems to come into being. There is only one and as another annoying commentator here might say, not even that. The term nondual doesn’t begin to cover it.

And yet…

The “I” for me remains the same. I am as conscienceless as I was before nondual awareness made itself obvious. Don’t get me wrong. I can acknowledge that all are one. I just don’t care. Desires still appear, especially the desire for power and control. I still feel little empathy. I can still lie with ease. I still push other people’s emotional buttons and manipulate them into feeling all sorts of things when I choose. I look around and still see people playing games and calling it “normality”. Blah, blah, blah. You get the gist.

What can you say to a guy like me who has seen what you have seen and yet remain the same? Will you say that what I realized wasn’t real or authentic? Or will you admit that what is seen in the moment that awareness awakens to itself does not necessarily change things on an individual level for the seer? In other words, can you be a Buddha and still remain what others might call heartless? (And please, before anyone jumps on the title, I am being facetious. My tongue is firmly planted in my cheek. I know I’m not a real live, born again Buddha. Umkay?)