Re: ex-boyfriend sent flowers, letter and disapeared...
Honestly, one should never ask relationship advice from others. No one here knows you or the person in question. There can be various reasons for why people do what they do and giving advice without knowing anything of the person is, in my opinion, a mistake. You should think it rationally. Anyone can claim anything and say they are sorry but in love, there is no but.
Re: ex-boyfriend sent flowers, letter and disapeared...
It's very difficult to think clearly when your emotions are boiling. Take a very long, very hot bubble bath, and drink a glass of wine.
Ask yourself what you love about this man. Ask yourself what you do not love about him. Ask yourself if you really love him or just love the idea of being in love. Ask yourself if you are a complete person, in and of your own right. If you are not, you are not ready to pursue any relationship. Ask yourself if you knew the world were ending in 39 minutes, would he be on the list of people you would call. Really?
Above all else, be true to yourself when you answer. When you get out of the tub, you will know what to do with him.
Re: ex-boyfriend sent flowers, letter and disapeared...
Sara:
You should give him another chance… If you are a masochist. A word to the wise: judge people by their actions first and not by their words or justifications or bouquets. He cheated on you, he never replied to your initial entreaties for reconciliation and he isn’t promptly replying now either. If he really wanted you he would have gotten back with you immediately. Dump him and get on with your life sweetheart. Unless you secretly enjoy these pointless, sadomasochistic games. In that case, knock yourself out.
Re: ex-boyfriend sent flowers, letter and disapeared...
Hi Sara,
I can't know for sure, but it sounds to me like he is hedging his bets. He wants to keep you around in case whatever else he is doing turns out to be not that great. This happened a lot with my ex, it was very confusing. Things were going along well and he woul dpick fights with me and get angry so he could justify his affairs. Then sooner or later the other woman would disappoint him in some way and I was the greatest woman in the world again. I didn't know why we were hainv problems, I thought I needed to work on myself or the relationship to fix it and he was happy to lead me around like that to buy himself more time to check out all his options. My point is that we tend to know early on what someone is about and we choose to ignore it. You have all this information you need now to make a decision. When we blame ourselves for the failure of a relationship it makes it really hard to let it go... to accept defeat. But maybe this has nothing todo wtih you, except taht you chose to ignore teh warning signs until now. The drama can be fun but you'll know when it's time to go because it just won't seen that interesting anymore and you'll realize taht you don't have to "get it". Sometimes there is nothing to "get". He's not a real person. Again, I could be wrong... just my 2¢. Tara
Re: ex-boyfriend sent flowers, letter and disapeared...
tara
Hi Sara,
I can't know for sure, but it sounds to me like he is hedging his bets. He wants to keep you around in case whatever else he is doing turns out to be not that great. This happened a lot with my ex, it was very confusing. Things were going along well and he woul dpick fights with me and get angry so he could justify his affairs. Then sooner or later the other woman would disappoint him in some way and I was the greatest woman in the world again. I didn't know why we were hainv problems, I thought I needed to work on myself or the relationship to fix it and he was happy to lead me around like that to buy himself more time to check out all his options. My point is that we tend to know early on what someone is about and we choose to ignore it. You have all this information you need now to make a decision. When we blame ourselves for the failure of a relationship it makes it really hard to let it go... to accept defeat. But maybe this has nothing todo wtih you, except taht you chose to ignore teh warning signs until now. The drama can be fun but you'll know when it's time to go because it just won't seen that interesting anymore and you'll realize taht you don't have to "get it". Sometimes there is nothing to "get". He's not a real person. Again, I could be wrong... just my 2¢. Tara
Women often find another horse to sattle before leaving their current one. There are men with that same mentality. Some people don't like to be alone or want to score and aim in all direction (my tactic) and wait for one of the fish to bite. Maybe he's a womanizer. Is that what a womanizer is?