> I'm 16. I don't want to give any more information than that on my identity.
> Many problems in the last few years have made me very isolated and was
> for about a year or two completely isolated from anyone besides my
> family. I developed a severe sociophobia, but I'm much better now.
> What I've noticed though, are a number of things and I'll number them
> down so it's easier for you to keep track on.
> 1. I "space out" very often, and I don't even know when or for how
> long it happens.
> 2. Sometimes I read books and know what the words mean but I can't
> link them to a whole.
> 3. Disability to concentrate, even if I try very hard (a bit related to no.
> 4. I think of very violent things about my close friends and family,
> even if it makes me shiver of terror.
> 5. My thoughts are irregular - I can't make a hold on them. If I TRY
> to control them, they burst out of control. I remember when I was a
> kid, that when I wasn't aware of that I was trying to think I could
> think fine, but when I put my attention to me trying to think it burst
> out of control... the cartoon characters I was thinking about got
> pulled away with tiny strings and even though I managed to bring them
> back, it just happened again and again. And again.
> 6. I have excellent, and I mean excellent, photographic memory. If I
> concentrate I can read a page and save it as a file in my memory so I
> can re-read it in my mind, but this has only happened a few times in
> my life. It's like I don't know how to TRY memorizing things. I'm just
> lucky if I do, and it's a lousy memory if I can't remember how to.
> 7. I am very obsessive in nature. I give unnecessary notes to things -
> like the "sary" in unnecessary. It irritates me for no reason.
> 8. Sometimes I have a very strong urge for everything to be perfect
> and in perfect order everywhere around me, and I kind of panic if it
> doesn't, but sometimes I don't care.
> 9. I have a huge staring problem. It might be because I'm bisexual,
> but I tend to stare at inappropriate places... both male and female.
> Sometimes I space out at an inappropriate place, and that is very bad.
> I think mainly this is because everyone considers me a freak.
> 10. I tend to lose track of what is appropriate for a conversation to
> say, or to do - I sometimes just do random things, which are often
> I do not have ADHD, I've seen a psychyatrist on the matter. She did
> say that I had symptoms - but not ADHD itself. Disability to
> concentrate, can't sit still at times...
> Do you think drugs like Ritalin would help? Do you know of a way to
> help me concentrate, avoid spacing out and keeping control of my
I would love it if someone could tell what's going on there, because that's basically describing me, as a child, of course.
My GP had a name for the concentrain thing, Transient Inability to Concentrate. I don't know if that's an actual medical term, or just something he called it.
I could be doing a mental maths test, for example: John went to the shops and bought 3 apples and 2 more how many did he have?
And I wouldn't be able to put it together, I would go back over and over and over and It was always every simple things in the beginning of tests.
I just couldn't concentrate, it was so bad, I just felt like I needed to jump out of my chair.
I was also quite Obsessive, enough for my family to wonder if I had OCD, or obsessive-compulsive tendencies.
I would always need everything to be lined up straight, in perfect lines, like pencils, rulers, etc.
I could also never go to the toilet with my clothes on , I can now, obviously. :D
And last thing, that staring problem is what I had when I was about 13, and no, it wasn't because I was going into puberty or whatever, it was just because I would do it just for the thrill that the person might notice and think I was wierd. When they did notice I didn't like it though... :)
Sorry I couldn't be of much help. I hope someone answers, I would love to know what it is.
Concentration is a skill which can be learned. Look up some self-help kind of sites about concentration.
You're 16. Relax a little. Isolation might very well be the single most common feeling among teens.
If you continue to have problems, revisit your therapist and look for underlying reasons besides ADD/ADHD which are troubling you.
I personally don't think Ritalin is a good idea for anyone - you're more likely to get symptomatic relief from cannabis than Ritalin (in my untrained and unmedical and don't listen to it opinion).
As much as it pains me to say it, she's right.
Hearing voices, visual hallucinations, urges to harm oneself, severe anxiety, euphoria, grandiosity, paranoid delusions, confusion, increased aggression and irritability.
Those are just some of the side-effects of Ritalin, it's probably not a great idea for someone that doesn't have ADD/ADHD that causes substantial problems.
For ADD/ADHD to be diagnosed, they must cause a real handicap in functioning in the home, at school, in the community, socially etc. And symptoms must be present before age 7.
I can relate to a lot of what you're going through. I have OCD, and while I'm not at all qualified to diagnose you, I will say that the way you think sounds very similar to the way I think. I get obsessive thoughts, and the more I try to push them out of my head, the stronger they persist and the more disturbing they become. My unwanted thoughts are sometimes violent, sometimes sexual in nature, or sometimes just plain gross. For instance I have an extreme aversion to vomit. If I think about someone vomiting, my immediate reaction is to try to put it out of my mind and try to think about something different. This makes the image replay over and over in my head, and it feels maddening.
The more you try to control a thought, the more out of control it will become. If you're telling yourself not to think about a pink elephant, you're still thinking about a pink elephant, and chances are you're thinking about it even harder.
You didn't make it clear in your post, by "inappropriate places," do you mean body parts like the breasts, buttocks, crotch, etc? Are you intentionally focusing your eyes on these parts, or are you just zoning out and staring in their general direction with your eyes unfocused? If you're making a conscious effort to look at someone, just try not to do that. If you catch yourself spacing out, try not to be so hard on yourself. I know what that's like too. I got made fun of a lot as a kid, so when people caught me looking in their direction, they'd accuse me of having a "staring problem." Because of that, I still struggle making eye contact as an adult. But I try to remember that everyone stares off into space from time to time. If someone confronts you about it, they're usually satisfied with the "Sorry, I just spaced out" explanation.
I wouldn't advise Ritalin since your psychiatrist has already ruled out ADD/ADHD. Meds alone won't help anyway. Meds can sometimes alleviate the symptoms, but not necessarily the causes of the symptoms. I'd advise you to see a therapist if you aren't already.
I don't know what to say about the concentration problems, but I do think you should try not to control your thoughts. Let them happen naturally without trying to stop them or change them. If your thoughts scare you, allow yourself to feel scared (this can be more difficult than it sounds!), but acknowledge that they are only thoughts, not necessarily reality. A lot of people with obsessive thoughts worry that their thoughts will manifest into reality. I'm not sure if you're one of these people, but try to remind yourself that as long as you can control your actions, you don't necessarily need to control your thoughts.